I know we spend a lot of time here discussing how women today should be less casual about sex. But is there a time when a woman should be a slut?
Yes!
Women should be shameless and total sluts with their husbands after marriage!
Ladies, if you are married, don’t let yourself slip into a sexless state. You should be having sex on the regular! Quickies, long drawn out sexpisodes, and everything in between! Daily, or even multiple times a day.
In fact, the only time you shouldn’t be getting it on after marriage is when your husband is not around, or with anyone else. Then, of course, you shouldn’t! But when he is, there’s no excuse.
When your man approaches and you “aren’t in the mood” don’t give him the rebuff. Instead go with the flow and chances are you will come around. Read naughty books. Fantasize. Diddle with yourself. Buy some lube. Get a toy. Wear sexy panties. Do whatever needed to get your engine fired up so you can’t wait to attack him. Go ahead. Get in touch with your inner hussy!
Too many women these days get it backwards, they have lots of sex before marriage but little sex after. No! That’s getting the whole thing wrong! Even the Bible says so!
In short, chastity should be the goal prior to marriage, but after marriage you should be a complete slut for your man. Always and often.
To ask a man (or, less often, for a man to ask a woman) to commit to you and you alone, and then to deny them sex is downright cruel. Nobody should get married and then expect fidelity AND celibacy!
Also, find out what HE likes and be sure to work that in often, never just approach married sex like it’s all about you. Show or tell him what gets you off, too. Don’t put it all on him. Take responsibility!
So ladies, if you aren’t being a total slut after marriage, it’s time to start! And if past baggage is getting in the way, you’ve got hang ups, you are overworking yourself, or whatever, take responsibility for fixing whatever it is and make a robust and active married sex life a priority! Why? Your marriage will be much happier and more secure for it. And bonus: your husband will worship you and think what a great wife he has, especially when all his friends complain about their own sexless marriage!
Again, before marriage don’t be a slut. After marriage, go for it!
Yes, I did say that! Lol.
Let those with ears hear.
Ps. That was a comment from Chateau Heartise of all places.
ROTHFL! Jeez….a pithy bit of wisdom from an unlikely source
“Ps. That was a comment from Chateau Heartise of all places.”
Horseman, Way off topic for a minute…..remember Carlos Santana? Very mellow
“Kids as sex excuse is 5 years tops”
Horseman… what if you keep having kids LOL… do you mean **once** a woman starts having kids, she can only use the “kids as sex excuse” for 5 years? Or add on another 5 years with each kid? Because that would be crazy depending on how many you have!
While the original post addresses something very important, there is the more general issue of women restoring confidence in men. There are a lot of tricks that women can pull and the internet is full of stories. In the case of refusing sex once married, what can a woman do to demonstrate that she won’t do that before the ceremony?
“what can a woman do to demonstrate that she won’t do that before the ceremony?”
Fuzzie, you have to be able to trust this woman. You have to both communicate your expectations about what sex will be like in the marriage months before the wedding ceremony takes place. That’s the only “best bet” that you’ll marry someone who won’t do that to you.
1. She has to be truthful and honest… the only thing that will help you know if that’s her character is tracking everything she says over a long period of time. My husband and I talked incessantly, I adore how much he can talk even though he can be really quiet with everyone else lol. But since we talked like non-stop about all these extremely important issues during our engagement, we only needed 6 months. Very short… part of the reason why my parents kicked me out and refused to support the wedding/marriage, but it was enough for us. Most people need 12-18 months to develop that level of trust and communication.
2. Just be upfront with what you want and see if what she wants is the same or if she’s hesitant about it (not a good sign). There’s nothing wrong if she is hesitant… it just means she’s not the one for you lol.
Stephanie,
That would work with someone honest, like you. I guess that men have to pay attention to inconsistencies.
Stephanie,
It has been a while since I thought about courtship. I groaned.
Trust a woman? Next thing you know you’ll be telling us to believe in fairy godmothers
Guess finding a honorable, loyal and pleasant woman here in western society is roughly the same odds as hitting the Power Ball lottery jackpot, infinitesimally slim!
………
Problem ain’t finding one who passes vetting
Naw…. the problem is the woman you marry ain’t the bitch you wake up with after the I do’s have been said
Fuzzie, but to figure *out* if someone is honest… that’s what I was trying to say. Yes, someone looking for a ltr or marriage must look for inconsistencies… even then the woman may “change”
Stephanie,
It is a lot. I have had a few dates that were more like hostile job interviews.
Honesty in during the engagement? Unlikely. There is a lot of investment on both parties up to that time. Why would anyone choose to show parts of themselves that are potentially not desired by the mate? He/she is a “catch”, right? This thread is about WHEN to be a slut. If the advice is followed, there is a low chance of the “want” or “distain” details being exposed.
My experience shows that a couple who should have known to be forthcoming was not — both young and sexually active before this first marriage. One should not find out 20 years after the marriage that cunnilingus has always been unwanted. That would have been a deal breaker on day one for me, but there is no honesty at engagement.
Now take a modest couple…that martiage is just a shot in the dark. They likely do not consider intimate questions such as this, much less ask. No, what couples need is a counselor, experienced RPA, that will ask the right questions. At least they could help to expose some red flags.
I’m in agreement with the comment above. There is a lot of bait-and-switch out there, and some women simply can’t “be a slut” even if their marriages depend upon it. Some can’t even be sexual at all. My ex basically saw sex as a means to an end, and shut it off when she got what she wanted. I’d be interested to see if she can have a normal relationship with someone else, but it would probably take some serious psychotherapy. I’m betting on her being a crazy cat lady in a few years.
I suppose that the advice in RPG’s post might apply to “normal” and “healthy” women, but there may be so few of those out there these days if the obese / purple haired SJWs on the street are the norm. Just because a small number of women still seem to keep their physical appearance in check doesn’t really mean that all is right in the head.
I would agree very few women truly enjoy their sexuality or even understand it. Too many treat sex as a means to an end or some kind of bartering chip. When one thinks of it that way, no wonder they get a “I’ll do it but not like it” mentality. Sad. Lots of women have also accepted this blue pill idea that sex always has to be a certain way. Like there needs to be all this romantic lead up and just enough candles and the right dinner etc for her to be “in the mood.” And thinks once a month or three months or a year is “enough.” No. If one truly loves their partner being physically intimate with them is a joy, not a task. Something to experience as much as possible, not the minimal. I mean if one does it the way it is intended, ones mate is the one and only person who that experience is shared with. It’s very special, almost sacred. It’s the glue. Today’s casual approach, it ignores this attachment part. Sex becomes sport, or something. True intimacy is as rare as hens teeth. But true intimacy, that’s the good stuff!
Does a slap on the ass and a “bend over baby” count as romantic lead up?
RPG,
It sounds like normal involves some big compatibility issues.
RPG – I’d agree, but I think that part of the problem is the common opinion that romance is real love, which it is not.
Men are also seeing how women use sex to manipulate and control, so men are taking advantage of the situation. Women would probably be best off with your advice if they want a quality relationship and marriage, or face pump-and-dump with guys who are unwilling to commit.
Fuzz.
To answer your question, Nothing!
Hence the motto “when in doubt, get out!”
To many men rationalize dealbreakers as “oh shes not like that.” (Nawalt)
AWALT!
So withhold sex, bye bye.
Period.
Do not shell out two hundred dollars
Just GO!
Horseman,
I think that the hesitancy comes from all the search costs. If it takes sending a hundred messages to get a first date, that is some heavy sunk costs.
Bingo. Sunk cost fallacy. Ruined many a company, investor, husband.
No no no.
Abundance mentality.
I spent 400k on a lamborgini in 1980. I still need to have new parts machined to keep it running. Sure a muffler is the cost of a chevy but 400k.
(Yes I am being fasicous.)
From Dr. Helen’s new book.
“How to tell if she’s “Miss Right”. But women don’t work that way. They’re worse than dishonest: they’re emotional. Today she sincerely, truly loves you and tomorrow she’ll sincerely, truly hate you. Repeat next week. A guy can’t screen for this.”
If this is true (and it is) no woman is 100% marriage material.
She can never be trusted because it is not her you are trusting but her emotions.
Instead they must be managed.
A good guy says something he will honour it no matter what he has to overcome to do it.
A good woman desperately wants to honour it but sometimes she cant overcome her emotions.
I bet even Bloom and Steph shit test. They cant help it.
But I bet they do mitigate it and dont get upset when called on it.
Steph,
Meant the youngest and its really 2.
An under 2 year o!d requires constant care and supervision so it can be a detriment (not stop) to sex etc.
But using a 3+ year old who goes to bed at 7 and sleeps thru the night.
I call Bullshit
Horseman,
That it is so hard for a guy to maintain an abundance mentality in the face of search costs is quite a trick. That must make it easier for women to maintain an abundance mentality.
I guess it’s different depending on how they and where they sleep. We put ours to sleep in their crib (in another room) immediately when we come home from the hospital. I usually sleep in that room with the baby for about 2 weeks, but it’s mostly because I want my husband to get better sleep. Then after 2 weeks I go back to our normal bed… where our worries are not so much when we can have sex, but because us sleeping so close together again it’s more “omg what if we get pregnant again??” We literally cannot be in the same bed together and not want each other… and I use a form of birth control that can’t be put in until after 8 weeks. We actually thought we got pregnant again a few weeks ago, but it wasn’t thank God.
“Does a slap on the ass and a “bend over baby” count as romantic lead up?”
That has always worked for me as a romantic lead up but maybe I’m lucky.
Lol Ton, of course it can! In fact many gals are wired that way but of course it’s taboo so nobody admits or talks about it.
One gal I know, she wanted to tell her hubby to be that she likes light Dom/sub play, so for a wedding gift I got them a fun cute spank thing and a book. Sadly, he freaked out at the idea, solidly blue pill and views any such as abuse. This also puts her in the position of having very vanilla “romantic” sex, when what she’s really thinking is, “could you just pull my hair and pin me down and take me?” True story! And no surprise, neither is very happy. It’s really a shame he’s not more open to it, or that she had not been more true to herself to seek someone who got her kink. But it was kind of a security type marriage, and ironically he fell at work shortly after and now has head trauma/disability stuff as well, so he’s not able to be the provider she sought. It’s tragic all around for him, for her, for her son who likes him, everybody. She was about to divorce then he got hurt and she felt bad, didn’t want to seem heartless. I told her she choose this man, be good to him. Keep her commitment.
@ Stephanie, good plan. I am very opposed to the family bed/co sleeping idea, too. I know a couple w a two year old son, he co sleeps, their intimacy is on zero, and I can see in her hubby it’s wearing thin. Women who do this are really playing w fire. Either he will bail physically, or just as bad be there but check out. You are smart to not let this happen. They had infertility and such, so as I have seen before in that case it’s waaaay too much about the kid now. Unhealthy for everyone, including the kid (who is spoiled and kind of insufferable to be honest!)
@ horseman agreed re abundance mentality. So much better way to approach life, love, work, etc. all around!
@ horseman, in the past I was a really bad shit tester. Of course I had no idea what I was doing or why, prior to RP. Now I guard myself for it and really try hard not to do so. Not that I *never* will slip, but on more than one occasion I have stopped myself!
Romantic lead up is what women say when they don’t want to get fucked by the icky beta in her life
This “shit testing” is really a concept I don’t understand very well. What is shit testing in a relationship? Could someone give me an example?
I’m with Ton.
I know that the ladies are talking about marriage, and he’s not, but no self respecting RP man is putting an effort (money) into romance anymore. Since so many women make it so easy, there is zero need to.
RPG’s comment at 2:26pm goes a long way to explaining the present situation. There is kind of a willful immaturity that can’t be overcome there.
” but no self respecting RP man is putting an effort (money) into romance anymore…”
It depends on whether or not his girl is worth it! Sheepdog is at work now probably babysitting the hurricane evacuees, but we definitely have romance. He’s bad… agreeing with Ton 😛
“I am very opposed to the family bed/co sleeping idea, too. I know a couple w a two year old son, he co sleeps, their intimacy is on zero, and I can see in her hubby it’s wearing thin. Women who do this are really playing w fire. Either he will bail physically, or just as bad be there but check out. You are smart to not let this happen. They had infertility and such, so as I have seen before in that case it’s waaaay too much about the kid now. Unhealthy for everyone, including the kid (who is spoiled and kind of insufferable to be honest!)”
Just wanted to point out there is a big difference between bed sharing and co-sleeping and often the terms get confused for each other. Bed sharing is actually sleeping in the same bed with kids where as cosleeping is the same room. We use the “arms reach co sleeper” with our babies and have had quite the opposite experience. Sex at least twice a day while baby sleeps in cosleeper (not in our bed). The problem with this woman in your example is she is not making her relationship a priority. Cosleeping is not the evil or sole evil driving them apart. Surely, there is a lot more going on here. I also think if they struggled with infertility she may be super freaked out there will be no more kids so she spends way too much time with the kid, coddling more so than usual, etc. if she thinks this will be the only one.
Forgot to add–the cosleeper can only be used until baby rolls over(5 months or so) and then ideally we like to transfer them to another room into a crib. However, with our first we were living in a tiny one room apartment and had no other room for the baby. So our baby stayed with us in same room (co sleeping) but in own crib in corner till 18 months or so when we got a bigger place. For logistics or money reasons, some may be forced to cosleep for a period, but they still have to find creative ways to have sex if they care about the relationship.
Also, If you have a good sleeper baby it is still very easy to have quiet sex, if not I imagine it gets a lot trickier. I think a lot of whether couples can still have sex while co-sleeping depends on temperament of the baby. But then again, even if the baby doesn’t sleep good surely a couple can find time here and there for a quickie in another room while they nap, if even just for 10 minutes.
There is no real difference between SMP & MMP
The same shit makes ’em wet, ring or not
Rosalie
Shit testing is when out of the blue you pick a fight for no reason because , well, you just NEED to fight.
E.g. he usually takes out the garbage after dinner is cleaned up. Regularly.
But mid afternoon Saturday, you are out of sorts, kinda bored, just Off.
He is sitting reading. Doing nothing. The selfish bastard. Lazing all day
(After cutting 8 acres of grass)
“Did you take out the garbage??
No not yet (slightly confused)
” Well why not? You never….yadayada” (nice boil going, feels good)
“Fine I’ll do it now, calm down (why did I marry that Bitch!!)
You are off.
Actually you are bored.
Things are calm, peaceful (what the man works for)
But where as a bored man goes and does something (hobby, sports)
A woman will seek drama, or cause it. For no real reason.
And it pisses the man off bigtime because its an unwinnable fight
Because the fight is not about what she says it is.
Because the fight is about NOTHING!
Actually I am amazed people marry at all.
A man seeks calm and peace from fighting dangers all day
A woman seeks dramatic excitement from her becalmed days.
Fuzz
Think about sunk costs this way.
At fifty odd I looked at the twenty plus years plus kids plus half my income, half my sunk costs of my marriage.
Against
The last twenty years of my life.
Did I want to spend them in the disfunctional marriage i had
Answer no
So i blew it up, thank god we put it back together. But better.
Fuzz
Think of this.
Doctor says you have two months left then dead.
Everything before is sunk costs.
You gonna stay with something bad because of sunk costfs or live it?
Remember. I have been clinically dead twice. First at 34.
Sunk costs are gone. The effort or money expended. Can you get it back? No.
TIME is gone. Time is only one way. Forward.
So dont do shit for things already past.
A shit test can be identified by the outcome.
If he just says No Go Away and ignores her, she gets the tingles and shuts up
If he misreads it as an actual fight about whatever then he is done. She gets frustrated and he gets pissed off. And it spirals for hours.
I have looked up from my paper and said “Are you just bored?” With the vulcan look.
She blushes, looks at her feet and walks away.
(Usually an hour or so later I will just grab her, bend her over the counter and work the fight out of her.)
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/08/28/of-two-minds/
Ton – No argument there. That means that there is no point to marry, at all.
Stephanie – I have a hard time believing that many are worth it nowadays, but very jaded here, obviously. There are a few good ladies here.
Horseman,
It is hard to let go. One hundred messages to get the first date. Who knows how many first dates to find one worth, or compatible enough for a second or third? I hate the idea of going back to scratch. At this point, it is why even start?
Rosalie,
A shit test usually is constructed so that the man, if he cares about you, is set up to lose. The classic example is “Does this make me look fat?”
Yea, don’t worry, no one is saying it’s “evil” to co-sleep, just that it makes it more difficult overall (things you mentioned like having to have quiet sex all the time, or quickies in another room and only when the baby’s sleeping… all that is fine but it does make it harder). Like you said, if the baby is a light sleeper, then that will be even worse to try to manage with it being in the same room. But lots of people in different countries only had one room houses with 5+ kids so… somehow they found time.
For us it would just be too weird honestly… and our kids are light sleepers but even if they weren’t, I’d feel way too awkward. At the best, it’d only be stifled quiet sex which dampens the freedom and passion you could have otherwise.
From Laws of Attraction, the only remotely red pill romcon
Notice how he smoothly truthbombs her, i never lied to you
Scolds her for bveing emotional when she deflects
And makes her face her actions by calmly walking away.
Only scene ever where the guy actually handles the hand on the doorknob scene properly.
(Yes he does leave her.)
” Well why not? You never….yadayada” (nice boil going, feels good)”
Horseman… just spank her!
“(Usually an hour or so later I will just grab her, bend her over the counter and work the fight out of her.)”
Nevermind! Didn’t read far enough down lol…
My wife has always been chubby since high school so it is a sensitive area.
We have a house rule that does this make me look fat is answered honestly.
I wont let her go out in something unflattering vice versa I will often say it flatters her curves. Similarly she will tell me if my suit is appropriate.
2nd house rule. You and Always are not allowed in the same sentence.
Its a character attack and logically no one Always does anything.
P.s. a good cure for the boreds causing shit tests?
America Ninja Warrior on Monday nights.
She casually comes down to watch it cause there is nothing else on
And creeps closer as it progresses.
Horseman, *big smile*
When my third child was born, our pediatrician was serviing on a state commission investigating SIDS. He looked at us and said, “Every infant who died of SIDS in Maryland last year was sleeping in his parents bed.”
The reason a man can’t “trust” a woman to articulate and abide by, some common understandings regarding marital sex, prior to marriage, is that they don’t know themselves. A) that was something Deti was discussing; and B) there’s zero statistical or sociological data that show that women have a problem either with creating a dead bedroom, or pursuing extramural affairs. The law gives the husband zero leverage over his wife if she does so. Meanwhile, American femininity celebrates women who wear vagina hats to massive rallies and scream, “I’m a na-a-s-ty woman, you bet I am.”
And a guy who enters marriage with no sexual experience of his wife — be she slutty or of the “are you done yet” variety, is just guessing and hoping. Hope is not a strategy, and anyone who’s in love is going to magically guess that his confirmation bias is actually true insight.
Women hold all the cards today: they can ruin a guy’s life, and those of his children, with a phone call. Or they can impose a sexual desert on him if they can’t be bothered with divorce.Since intimacy is impossible without meaningful sex, for at least a few decades, crossing one’s fingers and jumping into sexual monogamy is idiotic.
@ Megan, thanks for adding that. I should clarify, during the first few months, having baby nearby is handy for nursing and such. But I believe past that, best for kiddos to be in their own bed and preferably room. It’s not the co sleeping so much as the dynamic where the kids become the center of the marriage I am warning against. I know another family, mom sleeps w the youngest kids (all 5+) while dad sleeps on the couch and has for years 😦 not good. That’s the type of thing I am talking about. I see it too often these days and don’t think it’s good for anyone, including the kids. Thanks for sharing and I am glad you made your marriage a priority despite cramped quarters!
Hi BV, good to see you! 🙂
My friend w the little boy and former infertility was talking the other day about her dog, and how before the baby it had all sorts of neurotic behaviors that just went away, and she speculated it was bc they had been focusing on it too much. There was an awkward silence after… As everyone in the room was likely thinking but not saying, “and now it’s your kid who is getting neurotic!”
Don’t get me wrong she’s the sweetest gal, and means well, but….
Being Happy: having everything you want, everything is perfect right now.
Being Content: having everything you need, nothing has to be done right now.
The dog in the pond, the cat in the sunbeam. Content.
Be Content
Guy
In the cheap bleachers at the ballgame. Content
In a fishing boat. Content
In a hunting blind at daybreak. Content
Putting the last nail in a deck. Content
Shutting down the tractor after harvest. Content.
Girl
????
Notice most of those don’t involve women.
So why are we here?
Just askin.
While I want to say something profound, maybe I should just be direct. Tothe women lurking, that bulk of what the men are saying is that their patience has been tested beyond tolerance. It is time to lighten up.
The reason why women stop having sex after marriage is due to lower satisfaction with their sex quality.
https://ifstudies.org/blog/slow-but-sure-does-the-timing-of-sex-during-dating-matter/
I wrote an article why men should slut shame. Boy oh boy the feminists went pretty stupid on me
https://mgtow2.wordpress.com/2017/08/14/why-men-slut-shame/
Lol. I cracked up reading this one! Thanks for sharing