It’s been said in the manosphere that men love idealistically while women love opportunistically. Yesterday, I saw opportunistic loving up close, and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.
My new roomie was once again bemoaning her (failed) SIW fate, openly berating her boyfriend of four years for not “manning up” and making all of her problems disappear. In one breath he went from the man of her dreams to a worthless piece of shit.
Shocked at her attitude, I played devil’s advocate. What hadn’t he done, I asked, besides not bailed her out of her own self-created debt and lack of financial planning? Did he owe her that? Did anyone?
On and on she ranted, completely oblivious to how she was speaking of him as a thing rather than a person. She callously blamed him for being downsized at the end of his career, ten years short of retirement, from a high paying executive level job. Instead of any empathy she only expressed disgust at how he had been unable to secure similar work since, at how he had in her opinion misspent his money on his children and himself since, at how every penny not directed HER way was a major crime in her eyes.
Rather than in any way understanding how such a life event might be devastating or demoralizing for HIM, she ranted and raved how it all affected HER. How it ruined HER plan. She pondered aloud how perhaps she should just move on, his utility to her apparently done. She “deserved more,” she said.
It was so sad, so unattractive, so unsupportive. I could only imagine what she must say to him, and it pained me to think what insult to injury it must be. What kind of co-captain would such a woman make? And how could she not see how her own entitled “me, me, me” behavior made it highly unlikely any such offer would be forthcoming.
When I reflected back to her what I saw, she seemed unable to comprehend that it was not HIS responsibility to solve her problems, and that perhaps rather than emasculate and eviserate him for his lack of reemployment she might try to support and encourage him in HIS time of need.
I don’t think any of it got through, nor that she was even listening to anything I said, so wrapped up in her pity party was she. It made me thankful I wasn’t a man, and that I wouldn’t be “loved” like that. Sad. Truly sad.
Let those who have ears hear.