I recently met a woman who exemplifies how it can be easy, if a gal has her head on straight.
My friend is an attractive gal, mid-50s, married 30 years, recently retired, has plenty of financial security, a husband who still adores her, and a happy life filled with travel to visit children, grandchildren, family, and friends.
The other day Dancer, my older daughter, and I were visiting with her while her hubby was fixing something at my place, and I asked her how did they meet?
She said she worked in an office job and was going to manicure school then (she was 24.) An older lady in her office invited her over to her house, under the pretense of having her nails done for practice.
When the woman got up to wash her nails, she noticed her single 29-year-old neighbor across the street, mowing his lawn. So she called out to him to come over, as she had a doll she wanted him to meet.
He waved and continued mowing, while my friend said she turned bright red from embarrassment. Soon he finished up, and the neighbor gal again called out, offering him a popsicle as she knew he liked sweets. So he walked over, and was then embarrassed himself as he thought the neighbor lady said “dog” not “doll.”
He could not take his eyes off her. After some small talk, the neighbor insisted they go see all he had done to his backyard. My friend was amazed and impressed by his immaculate lawn and his obvious care and pride in things.
My friend said she knew right then he would be her husband and he knew right then she’d be his wife. He wasn’t the guy she had pictured (tall and blonde) but his short stature and dark hair did not matter, she just knew.
They dated briefly and married soon after. They have had tough times, like all marriages, but not so tough that they don’t still obviously adore each other.
Dancer and I sat there enthralled at the tale. Then I asked, “What color was the popsicle?” My friend said red. Without my even having to say, Dancer jumped up and ran to the kitchen and returned with two red popsicles. My friend laughed, took them, and went off to meet her man for a break. I hope it was a romantic flashback!
Sometimes it works, simply and easily. And I love to see it when it does! I am glad my daughter got to hear that story.
Let those with ears hear.
ian,
here’s the deal …
we are not created equal (Genesis 1-2)
we are all sinners and capable of sin: (Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”)
women included. a woman was the first sinner (Genesis 3).
even the consequences of the first sin were not equal (Genesis 3).
contentment is learned: (Philippians 4:11 “for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” … written by Paul who had training very few who have ever walked the earth have had)
pride goes before oops: (Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.”)
so if any of us (women) think we are exempt from the possibility of being or becoming xyz, we are deceiving ourselves. it seems that the number of times i have thought i’d be exempt from xyz in my life i have turned around to look in the mirror and found that exact thing staring me in the face.
i would like to say i’m the perfect, submissive helpmeet to my Husband, but i know i am not. one time i asked him if he thought i was submissive, and he answered, “Yes, when you want to be.” OUCH. it’s something i have to work on all the time.
as Ton said:
SFC Ton
2h ago
Ame, I know the Bible says women were made to be a helpmate for men and I don’t like to openly contradict Sky6 but I don’t think helpmate comes naturally to women. It does to dogs, even the missbehaved ones seem egear to please after a fashion. Feral dogs and even wolves will fall into a mutuality beneficial situation. Really critters of all sorts.
It takes a lot of conditioning, training, social pressure etc to turn a girl into a friendly helpmate.
Yes i know that we are not equal. And i definately know that women are sinners.
A hell of a lot worse than men from my observations.
But Im thinking young girls like to play with tea sets and playing nurse. They seem to want to do that whereas young boys dont.
Regarding the lawn mowing anecdote, love-at-first-sight works for me. I first said hi to my ex- two years before she even noticed me. (We lived in the same dorm, so I’d see her going out for the morning run. I was a 150 lb 17 year-old freshman and mighty invisible.) After I put on 30 pounds in the gym we started dating, and I asked her to marry me a few months later.
That’s happened to me twice, since. (The first glance, not the rest of it.) Without the animal spirits, I’m really not interested, iow. Everything is much more contrived and calculating, now, of course. Two years I finally lost patience and made a fool of myself with someone: I said, “Okay, fine. Fucking fine. I get it. You don’t want to take care of yourself. How much money do you want each month? $5000? $10,000?”
I haven’t met a woman in my entire life who asserted that she found meaning in helping a man as part of a team. I suppose that’s because I’m so young and vigorous that I don’t meet pre-second generation feminists. They do ask, “What are you driving?”
“Eve – who had the most perfect life ever … perfect body, perfect man, perfect job, perfect housing, perfect food, perfect everything … was still open to deception that there was *more* and *better.*”
LOL Ame… it’s the human experience unfortunately… that’s why Phillippians 4:11-13 are my all-time favorite life verses.
Still though.. the tendency to try to grab for the unattainable will always be there, like this morning when shopping I grab a box of hair color to help blend my roots, hold it up to my son with the perfectly gorgeous blonde hair (lol) see it’s a match and get it… even though it will never really be that perfect like his 🙂
The human experience.
Not sure how playing some child hood game is proof about being help mates but I promise you a feral dog will be quicker to understand his role in your life then a “Well trained” girl
And i definately know that women are sinners.
A hell of a lot worse than men from my observations.
probably so.
I haven’t met a woman in my entire life who asserted that she found meaning in helping a man as part of a team.
i was all-in with my first husband, helping as part of a team. he got tired of that. he said things that indicated he wished i’d get a career outside the home – i think he was jealous of other men whose wives had high-earning careers outside the home and i was just a puny sahw/m. idk … every time i thought i’d figured him out, i was blindsighted again.
this guy i’m married to now loves me being on his team, loves the little things i do to care for him and our family and home. it would be very helpful for us if i worked outside the home, but he likes me here, and i like being here 🙂 . i feel like if i worked outside the home my loyalties would have to be divided, and i couldn’t adapt my schedule to my husband at a whim b/c of the responsibilities the job would require.
it’s a continuous check-and-balance, isn’t it, Stephanie! i have to re-check myself all the time 🙂
Thank you for the Phillippians 4:11 reference, S. I’ll read that when I get home.
Don’t disapprove because I lack a Bible in the truck. I do have a carbine. It’s all about probability of need.
Luckily there is Grace. Without that, we’d all be up a creek. Every single one of us… Yep!
In other news, roomie told her ex-bf she’s dating someone else she met here… Which is curious bc as far as I know she hasn’t met anyone here… Maybe trying to make him jealous?
Dancer upset me tonight by leaving my youngest w my oldest and her daughter same age. I ran to the store quick, her bf came into town, and they left the kids alone rather than wait till I got back. I let both her bf and her know, “for future reference, I am not ok w that.”
I refuse to be the only grown up around here, especially when two are only three years my junior!
Ton, sad but true. In my life I have found few can be trusted as much as a feral dog, female or male. I could count the ones who could/can on less than one hand. And I know LOTS of people.
I refuse to be the only grown up around here, especially when two are only three years my junior!
ugh. you must be so frustrated. i’m sorry 😦
@ame, to her credit the minute Dancer knew I wasn’t ok w it she was headed home to be sure we were OK rather than going out to dinner as planned. So bonus points for that. I trust it won’t happen again.
Eve… Why would she trade paradise for knowledge? Bc she was easily mislead by the Deciever, is the short answer. Which is a good argument for patriarchy. Women in my experience are easily mislead… The hamster has always been and will always be a poor guide. Women don’t want the patriarchy “controlling and oppressing” them, but left to their own devices most do not choose well. And likely this is a feature not a bug, somehow, but a gal is still wise to be aware the hamster is the Deciever… No good will come from it.
RPG,
What gets to me is that most men are going find nothing out there but women like Roomie.
Yes, the “Patriarchy” is feminist code for societal restrictions that keep women in check.
A new post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/10/06/apex-fallacy-revisited/
Indeed Fuzzie, I think there’s going to be a lot of chickens coming home to roost over the next decade as guys burned by gals like roomie check out and gals like roomie realize too late they missed the window and are now facing a future w no plan B. I don’t see how the govt can take care of them all.
RPG,
The government will not be able to take care of them all. The word has to get to women to not be like Roomie in the first place. If they have a man, keep him. If they don’t, lock one down. It can’t be that hard, women have been doing this since forever.
Lol Fuzzie, you read my mind! Exactly the topic of my new post!
RPG,
It sounds like a good topic. To suggest that while sex is important, don’t overlook food. As a bachelor bear, they are competing desires and and both ar always on my mind.
Stephanie, thanks again for the Philippians 4:11 reference. I particularly liked 4:12. “I know how to be abased and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” (KJV)
A Dad, you might like 4:6-7.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
I read 4:7 through a red pill lens, and a bitter pill it is. It teaches us not to seek understanding through our celebrated, secular relationships. It’s a bitter pill because all of us who are post-second-wave feminism have been instructed without reservation to confide, reveal, show our feelings, confess our fears. Women, it turns out, are repelled by the practice. Popular music, television, romantic movies: they all lie to us about this. Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Orson Welles, Steve McQueen all knew this, but anyone coming of age after 1970 did not. YMMV.
So from a theological perspective, this social convention of confession and public displays of weakness, is a misplaced desire to create a human, secular alternative for true confession and supplication.
(YMMV. I think my parable works whether or not one is Christian.)
Good grief Bloom 😦 that sucks. I won’t even leave my oldest alone when going for a walk up and down the street!!! He’s smart but anything could happen and it’s good to be a little paranoid when it’s kids.
Glad she realized how much it means to you.
I read 4:7 through a red pill lens, and a bitter pill it is.
it is hard to strip our filters when we read the bible … and then when we do, it knocks us on our butt – or at least it does to me. it transcends culture and time. my late Mentor spent a huge amount of time with me breaking down all the false truths i had ingrained in me; a painful process – still is.
i find it interesting that the forbidden was named the Knowledge of Good and Evil. i think the time i ate that ‘fruit’ and experienced that the most profoundly was in my divorce. regardless of whose ‘fault’ it is, someone (usually both to some degree) ‘sinned’ for there to be divorce. the tsunami of the good and ‘evil’ of divorce doesn’t hit till after-the-fact. i try to tell people that they will not know the full extent of the evil till afterwards, but before hand all they see is the good. sigh.
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