Recently, a piece of vital equipment I depend on broke.
Long story short, I finally located the broken part’s replacement but waited for several weeks for help installing it. My usual handy helpers were all maxed out. So Dancer pulled some strings, and a friend of a friend said he could come do the install.
He seems a really good guy, and he got the job done quickly, happily, and for a really fair price. As he wrapped up, he made it clear he’d be happy to have more work, and astutely but politely pointed out several things he could do, things already on my overdue list. Things quite frankly I have been fretting about or dreading somehow doing myself.
As we talked I realized this solid guy just got frivorced, going from a 3,500 square foot house on five acres he and his ex owned for 15 years to now living in a fifth wheel on someone elses’s property.
I didn’t ask about his story. I didn’t have to because I already know. It’s the same story so many men in his situation share every day in the manosphere.
Just like that. Everything gone. Right when he should be looking forward to retiring in 10 years.
He seems like a good man. He’s obviously handy and hard working. I could tell from his well organized tools and tidy vehicle that he wasn’t just some no good slacker.
I didn’t pry but suspect he’s another casualty of the frivorce culture. Some “unhaaaapy” mid-life gal tossed out this good man thinking she could do better. Or would be better off.
I wondered how things were going for her now. How many broken down things no longer “fixing themselves” she was now surrounded by. While the handy and happy to be so guy she kicked to the curb was ironically being paid by other women to fix stuff as he simply struggles to make sense of the senselessness his life has become. Shell shocked.
After he left I felt incredibly sad. It’s not right, how men are treated today. It’s really really not right.
Let those with ears hear.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Yup, it’s a sad state of affairs. You’re a wise one.
And you have a heart, clearly.
Bloom, in the title of this post, “causalty” should be “casualty”
Just sayin
Well I imagine how she is doing depends on if she has burned through his cash and the local dudes will to hit it and quite it
Thanks for catching that Toad!
Everytime I hear another story like that my heart breaks, too, Bloom. 😞
This seems to be the norm and not the exception. It does go a long way to taking the incentive out of it for guys. My suggestion is to have him fix as much as you can afford reasonably.
Interestingly, among primate social groups, it often takes the females policing themselves to get them to behave and maintain the group. You see this in Chimps and Baboons. Along the same lines, the term “slut” is often a word used by human females to police other women’s behavior.
All that said, the only way to fix this may be to get women to start policing other women’s behavior again, as it relates to divorce and relationships and the rest. Cause not sure men can.
copperfox – All that said, the only way to fix this may be to get women to start policing other women’s behavior again, as it relates to divorce and relationships and the rest. Cause not sure men can.
that only works if the women ‘policing’ them are women whose opinions matter to the one. women usually gravitate towards the women who confirm what they want to do rather than toward the women who want the best for them and are willing to hold them accountable.
IF the woman is willing to listen to other women who truly want the best for them and who are willing to hold them accountable, she still is likely to manipulate the advice given to be what she wants it to be.
sadly, very few women truly want to be held accountable.
@Ame, not saying it would work very well lol
The only other option it seems is for men to just completely walk away. Of course then social institutions (and possibly society as a whole) falls apart and we have to start all over.
I have no plans to get married in the current climate though, even though most women would consider me a very viable candidate for it, so I suppose I kind of already have walked away.
😦 Sad! So many of these marriages are easily salvageable.
Very true copper fox, I see so much of this as women goading each other on today rather than the former shaming of such foolishness. It’s not helping anyone in the end to have women behaving so recklessly. Team woman is eating their own, so to speak.
So true Stephanie. Just today a gal who helps me out, the one who was introduced to her hubby by the neighbor lady, told me her young son just found out his wife has been cheating. They have an 18 month old daughter 😦 this gal, her own mom did the same. You’d think she would get the wreckage isn’t worth it but not sure she will… Even so, her guy will never see her the same. So stupid, these women!!!! Her life, her child’s life, could have been so good and easy…
I really think the boomer generation were the ones to let future generations of women down by selfishly choosing “a modern” path, than encouraging future women to rush toward the cliff even faster!
Meh. More clients for me. A successful business model doing exactly what handy guy did for bloom. At 20-50 bucks an hour.
RPG,
It is not “Team Woman eating their own.” If it were that, the damage would be limited to women. As it stands, the damage is being done to men by women.
Horseman,
I think that you have a superb business model.
“her young son just found out his wife has been cheating. They have an 18 month old daughter 😦 this gal, her own mom did the same. You’d think she would get the wreckage isn’t worth it but not sure she will… Even so, her guy will never see her the same. So stupid, these women!!!!”
I just don’t get why women cheat 😥 I’m so worried about my sons.
@ Stephanie; if current law stays the way it is, your sons are guaranteed MGTOW or maybe they’ll be falsely accused of sexual harassment and put on sex offender registry. Future is very bright… very bright. No.
Song to cheer you up, Stephanie:
I would like to say something hopeful. Although there is not much on the horizon, perhaps all these #metoo attacks on allies of feminism will alienate complicit men in politics and culture. That may precipitate a change.
Hard to tell what really happened, but it’s possibly the usual. Bored wife. Utility husband. Female mid-life crisis.
I do find it interesting that women make fun of male mid-life crisis, because it seems like women do it first, but under different terms. Only after the divorce and escape of alimony do men buy expensive cars, motorcycles, boats, etc. I can’t wait because after a few years I’m going to be like a kid in a candy store.
Just because he has his stuff together on the job doesn’t mean anything though. Obviously it means that he’s capable of handling his own, but it doesn’t mean that he’s pulling in 6 figures or more. I think that I mentioned that my ex complained that I was “middle class” but I bring in the equivalent of 2-3 comfortable incomes. So apparently it’s not enough now to more than support a family and retire off of a single income, but you have to be really effin’ wealthy to be worth their time. Some people just can’t be content with more than enough. Is it not enough to never want / need anything?
And now she’s barely able to make it on her own. Not my problem.
But long story short, if he had to leave his 5 acres to her, he probably really screwed up somehow. Yeah, guys get shafted by the legal system but bare minimum he should be living on 2.5 acres in a tent. I’m not saying it’s right, but there also is a chance that he didn’t play his cards right.
I can honestly say that I’d be living on 2.5 acres in a tent, and building a damn cabin with my bare hands.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/11/16/red-pill-classroom-carousel-watching/
At 20-50 bucks an hour.
Looonies they would be
The general contractor/ handy man I know/ use has grossed about 200k this year. I ain’t t sure what he’ll net but that is a goodly dollar amount for a dude with a truck, a trailer and a black lab. Course he is running into the more tourist oriented towns to do that
A Dad, I think it requires 4x or more the median income for your AO for money to have a positive impact on a man’s SMP/ MMP value. Well that and a willingness to spend it. Easy credit for all combined with social meida, most folks living way above their means and the fact women can not readily discern fact from fiction…which might be the same as social media…. has helped destroy the value of beta bucks.
I came up with the 4x plus median income through internet discussion so take it for what it’s worth, but think about it. Movies would have you believe low level cops can afford houses on the beach and perfectly restored muscle cars. Soical media had Girl#2 thinking a 30 year old teacher could afford to travel to 6 continents in one summer break on her own salary. Girl #1 didn’t understand the difference between debt ie her doctor type coworkers and wealth until she was with me for about a year and we all know how broke Americans are, including high income Americans by looking at the debt load folks carry. One of my employees drives newer cars etc then I do and I know he only makes $18 an hour. Hell even the people on my street are in houses they probably can’t afford. Can afford being defined as 2x your yearly income or less, put 20% down on the house and having 6 plus months of living expenses resting in the bank. Most of my neighbours chose house and boat debt over car debt but I doubt our grandparents would think well of their fincaial footing
Did some math with the Mrs.
Covering rent, heat, hydro and pony boarding we have approximately 23 years worth in cash or (currently safe bonds) investments. We owe zero in debt (other than a cc we use for points and pay each month).
That takes us to late seventies. And in five years we get out cpp (pension) and oas (old age security) adding another 1200 a month.
Basically I have to work for grocery money. But make a ton more when I want to work.
The lack of stress and ability to say “no thank you, go away is priceless.”
Chasing the toys and status in exchange for sleepless nights and beholden to the banks? I did it for decades. Now I dont get it.
Its gonna end ugly when all the quantitative easing gets cashed in, interest rates go to the historical average of 5% and these bubbles pop.
I see the folks like Ton describes everywhere. Hell most of my clients.
All living in a dream that can turn to the nightmare in a day.
Hell I didnt see my forced retirement coming. In a day 100k+ salary…poof!
It was blind luck the kids were gone and we had just downsized and sold the farm for a small but tidy profit.
Heard thru ex collegues my boss didnt know that and she let slip she assumed I was destitute and paniced. But for grace I would have been. Desperately searching for another 60 hr high stress management job counting years to get my pension.
It can all go in an instant. Or an act of God. Renos in Houston without flood insurance for the equally over extended?
Ton / Horseman – I agree. Most women are not interested in a man that doesn’t show his wealth. He might be worth millions or more but if he drives a modest vehicle, has an average home, and doesn’t waste his money, who would know?
Several years ago, I removed myself from any and all debt beyond my home. I sock a decent bit of money away and invest for retirement, and I live a simple life in a home that’s far enough away that I can still get where I need to go for business but pay half as much as people who are closer.
In a few years, I’ll pay off my home entirely, once I get out of alimony, and I’ll be working for myself (making 4x+ as much), preparing to retire and obtain more land elsewhere. I do buy new cars but drive them well beyond what most people do, and I maintain them myself. My goals aren’t to show off to anyone, but rather to live comfortably and retire early.
It amazes me that so many people live beyond their means. The amount of debt that people amass is astounding.
I’m finding that being married was about as expensive as being divorced with alimony. The burden of supporting someone who didn’t pull any weight is pretty high. My grocery bill is halved, as is insurance and other expenses. At least now it will eventually be over. A man on his own can live a much more simple life.
Also, quality of life is most important. I am pretty fortunate. I work pretty flexible hours, and I get to see my kid at a reasonable time every day, work out when I want to, eat what I want to, etc. Not stuck in some cubicle. That would be hell. In a few ways, I practically already do work for myself.
we got new neighbors across the street about a year ago. i kept trying to get over to meet them but schedules were crazy. when i finally did, i actually met the parents … the young man had recently been killed in a very tragic car wreck (which my husband actually helped with, but i won’t tell them that b/c they don’t need to know b/c then they’ll want to ask him questions which he can’t answer, and it will make it weird. anyway – it was one of the worst and most tragic and terrible). i have made a point to go over and talk to them whenever they’re at the house since then and gave them both my phone number and took theirs so they could call if they ever needed anything. he was their only child.
recently the dad and i were talking, and he has bought his son’s house and paid cash. i mentioned that was very admirable, and he shrugged. he drives a beat-up pick-up truck, lives in the same house they’ve lived in forever, has some land out in the country for 4-wheelin and other guy-fun. he was in the military when younger, but he certainly is not in-shape now, and i would not call him attractive – not ugly, but not attractive; he simply doesn’t care. the wife is definitely not attractive but i can see where she probably was when younger – she has beautiful eyes and smile. but they obviously don’t care about appearances. so you’d never know they were truly wealthy.
my heart breaks, breaks, for them. these are the first holidays without their son with whom they were very close – son shared the same birthday and name as father, even.
when i told him it was admirable they were able to buy his son’s house with cash, he told me his own family of origin ditched him b/c he was financially successful in life – jealousy is a terrible thing.