Yesterday a friend told me about her late 20s son with a baby and a cheating wife. The news initially came thru his sister, who is fit to be tied.
They all apparently know each other from high school but no longer all live in the same town. This leads me to suspect social media monkeying is to blame.
Anyway the sister could not understand why the SIL choose the fella she did as apparently he’s got little to nothing to offer. She’s “cheating down” so to speak.
Dancer observed people almost always cheat down. She chalked it up to cheaters being low down themselves and water seeking its own level.
But I wonder if she wasn’t in Alpha fux mode, and sees her hubby as beta bux? Even though her hubby is the classic tall blue eyed blond who may as well be named Chad. (She’s a pretty brunette w blue eyes, but he’s the better looking of the two.)
Apparently the wife came home at 3am (???) shortly after the affair was revealed to say she now wants to work on the marriage. I wonder if her boyfriend made it clear that he’s not the marrying type and/or had no interest in things going any further than f’ing?
Ladies, I don’t know of a single case like this where the woman ended up better off or with even anywhere near what she had before cheating.
My advice? Don’t do it. Beware social media. If you start to feel attraction to someone besides your spouse, terminate all contact with that person immediately. Don’t put yourself in temptation’s way. Pray.
Cheating never goes well. If the marriage survives it’s never the same. If it doesn’t and the cheaters get together they never trust each other. Often the cheaters don’t last past the marriage break up. Those are just three possible outcomes, all losing ones.
Cheating. Just don’t let the hamster take you there.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
I recently read a comment where someone said something along the lines of: “Most Chads don’t know that they are Chad”.
Not sure if that’s true, but one thing that I’m certain of is that alpha is often learned behavior and not completely biological. Not that it doesn’t hurt to have good genes, but it’s not the only factor. Men are inherently masculine, but nature, but feminists would have you believe otherwise. Hence, “toxic masculinity”. The initiative is to deprogram men or remove outlets for both biological or learned masculine behavior so that women can get an additional advantage in everything, from work, education, sex, etc. Essentially, program women to be more artificially masculine while program men to be less naturally masculine and more artificially feminine.
It’s entirely possible that I could pass for what one would traditionally call “Tall, Dark, and Handsome”. I’m tall, in good shape, strong, and I think that I’m at least decent looking. But guess what? I can sometimes be socially awkward. The weird thing is that I wasn’t always this way. It’s the product of being in an LTR where I allowed myself to be reduced to beta bux, by a woman who I truly believe has personality disorders that leeched their way into my well-being and beat me down over a decade or two. Why? Not sure. I was convinced that some passive behaviors were the right thing. I’m working on turning it back around and even I can tell that my mindset has changed a lot over the course of this year.
I never took any shit in the past. It seems to have been mainly related to personal relationships, possibly from isolation from a lack of social interaction outside of work, getting wrapped up solely in “dad mode” with a woman who was always jealous of not spending all of my time with her (until she basically just stopped spending time with the family). She was especially insanely jealous of my interaction with other women when we were young.
So, the hubby may look good, and may make a decent income, but maybe he’s fallen for the same thing? He’s been tamed by a wild bitch who now thinks he’s too boring and she’s going through the first phase of mid-life crisis where she wants to screw and / or party and have fun with a alpha bad boy and crazy girls while betafied hubby watches the baby. All too common now.
She’s not looking for a new provider (yet). She’s looking for validation because she’s close to hitting the wall and wants reassurance that her role isn’t limited now to a lifetime of being a “lowly” housewife, because that’s no longer respected (thanks feminism). Social media and friends will badger her to being on the same low level as the rest of the broken families that struggle.
So now she’s begging for a second chance. He needs to kick her ass to the curb. He might pay alimony or child support, for a while, but it’s far better than the other outcome of taking back a whore. Once she knows that she’s on the way out, you can be sure that she’ll be monkey-branching to a better provider. Only problem is, she usually won’t find one and will have to settle for something lesser after riding the CC for a while. Some other unassuming white knight will pick her up, and she’ll be even more miserable.
That’s how it all works. Kick her ass out. Would love to hear how this one goes.
FYI – Phase 2 of female mid-life crisis is the settling down thing. They want to find that perfect guy that gives them tingles and “romance”. usually happens between 35-45. Phase 1 is when they go into party-girl mode again; Frequent drinking, going out with friends, etc., because the looks are fading and they’ve put on weight after having a kid or two. usually happens in late 20s to early 30s, but sometimes even into 40s. Doesn’t always mean sex / cheating but sometimes they think that’s the only way to Phase 2 and end up empty-handed.
Without knowing all the details, there seems to be a certain arrogance at work. She believes that he has to eat anything she cooks. Women are talking to each other, but they must be passing around bad information.
In terms of cheating down, Bill Clinton the role model he would be
But comparing to Hillary, perhaps not
I like to use Michelle Langley’s book “Women’s Infidelity” as the beginning of redpilling people. One reason is that it’s a surprisingly honest book by a woman about women and their tendency toward unfaithfulness. Which appears to be far greater than that of men.
Of course, Langley does not raise the question or provide any answers as to *why* a woman with a loving husband who is a good provider, faithful and a good father would one day decide to start a sexual relationship with another man. What did the new guy have that her husband didn’t? Why did she do it?
Those questions are answered by Rollo Tomassi’s books and you’d think everyone here understands hypergamy and the AF-BB dynamic of unfettered hypergamy. I think one of Rollo’s greatest contributions is chronicling the behavioral changes women go through as they age and how that impacts what they’re attracted to.
However, it’s posts like this, by a woman, about women, that make me wonder if women are so lacking in self awareness that they simply don’t understand their own nature. Or is it that feminism’s lies are so pervasive that they can’t acknowledge the truth of it? That was one of the points that Langley made, that women simply don’t talk about it, so there’s no mother-daughter discussions going on and each generation of women have to learn it on their own.
I developed a different model based on Genesis 3:16, which I term fitness to rule. I think it a better model because it combines the Alpha/Beta model of Alpha confident, masculine dominance and Beta comfort personality traits with the more nuanced Socio-Sexual Hierarchy from a Biblical perspective. In addition, the fitness to rule model encompasses all the other issues such as security (his income and assets), his social status (which is reflected on her) and his power (his ability to protect her).
The key point is every woman *will* be sexually attracted to a man that *she* perceives as being fit to rule over *her* because that’s what Genesis 3:16 says. This is not an evolutionary development, it’s what God did as part of His judgment on women. And the truth is that women desire to be ruled by a man they consider fit to rule over them. Witness the popularity of FSoG.
This is the essence of hypergamy.
It’s a two-way street on the attraction front though, because in order to have that relationship the man has to be attracted to the woman. Some women aren’t all that picky and it’s not difficult to find men they’re attracted to. Other women are extremely picky as to the sort of man they are attracted to. In some cases the picky women are unwilling to settle for a man they do not desire and we used to call them spinsters. Some will settle for another woman rather than a man, but the majority wind up settling for a man they are not really attracted to.
Men, of course, will generally settle for the most attractive woman they can get a commitment out of. Women can and often do settle for men they are not attracted to at all. Which is one of the major differences between men and women.
Anyone remember the study that Heartiste blogged about, demonstrating the amount of income necessary for a woman to choose a man in the bottom 10% of in attractiveness over a man in the top 10% in attractiveness? As I recall, the study compared a man in the top 10% who made $60k a year with a man in the bottom 10%. The study outcome was the man at the bottom had to make around $250k a year in order for women to choose him over the top 10% man who made only $60k. They also ran the same thing past men and interestingly, there was no amount of money for which men would choose to marry a woman in the bottom 10% of looks over a woman in the top 10% in looks.
So, for a woman who settled for a man she wasn’t all that attracted to, what happens when another man comes along who gives her the tingles? That depends on her character, how much more attracted she is to the new guy than her husband and whether the new guy is attracted to her. When the cheating happens, it’s always because the new guy was more attractive than her husband.
Because, as game says, five minutes of Alpha is worth five years of Beta.
Women do not “cheat down”, they always cheat up.
AT: Good post.
“Or is it that feminism’s lies are so pervasive that they can’t acknowledge the truth of it?”
Acknowledging the truth would blow the lid off of the whole scam of feminism. Of course they don’t want to talk about it or admit it. If the cat is let out of the bag, then how could they continue the current trend? Only problem is that men (and women) are figuring it out anyway, even if it’s too hard for many to admit. Training men to believe the lie is the only thing that continues to make them a utility for women to use and abuse.
I’ve got buddy who’s 40-year old wife of nearly 10-15 years just left him for a ~20 year old guy with no real job. From what I understand, he’s not even attractive. All he had to do was convince her that he had some value and she was excited and ready to go.
BOOM! Blew up the marriage. I hear she’s miserable now.
Alpha Fucks from age 15 to age 30
Beta Bucks from age 30 to age 40
Alpha Fucks (Phase 2 – Electric Boogaloo) from age 40 to age 50
Cats from age 50 to death
I am not surprised any more in the upswing of female homicides taking place in this country, it seems that you can poke a lion only so long before it reacts
I think Athol wrote quite well thought answer to “cheating down” in his blog Married men Sex Life.
http://marriedmansexlife.com/2014/07/why-was-her-affair-partner-worse-than-me/
About the case RPG told about: I agree with A Dad and think the man should kick his wife out. She betrayed him.
Though I’m worried for the child. If they do divorce what is going to happen? If I have understood correctly the custody battles usually favor the mother especially with small kids.
People “down on the scale” less to lose they have
While those of us outside the relationship may see it as “cheating down”, the woman who has worked so hard for years to run her husband down is unlikely to see it that way.
Rosalie – That link seems about right. In the case of my friend, all his wife needed was the extra “emotional connection” from a guy with similar views on a number of things. Her husband had everything else, but it wasn’t enough.
Now she has nothing. It’s not like she was a prize anyway. Pretty sure the young guy saw what she really looked like and ran. My buddy showed me the picture that she was sending to guys, and it’s like 10 years old from before they had their child.
Men usually lie about their earning potential and resources. Women usually lie about their appearance, even if it’s just covering the real woman underneath in makeup or using old pictures to get a guy interested.
@Rosalie
Single women compare a new man to the other available men who are “on their radar” and *generally* the new man has to meet or beat that criteria in order to get anywhere. The criteria of the married woman (or the woman in a LRT) is *her perception* of her husband/boyfriend. The new man simply has to be better than her perception of that guy.
The individual woman will always decide what a man’s SMV is, for her and her assessment (perception) of both her husband and the new man might appear rather odd or strange to others. I can agree with Athols point about men providing an opening for other men by not addressing their deficiencies, but in the end it’s all about 4 things:
The right man,
The right time,
The right place,
The right line.
It is impossible to seduce someone who does not want to be seduced and there is always another man out there who is more confident/masculine/dominant with more time, money, power and status.
That leaves the question of whether she wants to be seduced and that is completely up to her. The less attracted to her husband she is, the more likely it is that she will desire to be seduced. In the end it comes down to just how faithful/committed she decides to be.
My advice? Don’t do it. Beware social media. If you start to feel attraction to someone besides your spouse, terminate all contact with that person immediately. Don’t put yourself in temptation’s way. Pray.
perhaps you should word this … “WHEN you start to feel attraction to someone besides your spouse” … because we will. and we need to teach that to other women … that there will be others with whom we will feel attraction. and we need to be taught and to teach what to do about that. and to teach that it’s a fleeting thing. and to teach that, if nurtured, it will result in nothing but pain and death and demise and tragedy. we need to teach that saying yes to one man means intentionally saying no to every other man … and that for some men that will be harder than others but extremely necessary to discipline oneself to do so.
AT:
I don’t agree with you about everything, but you’re correct about what you’ve been laying down here.
Women are “willing” to marry and have sex with a man she is not sexually attracted to, as long as he’s all in with commitment (read: MONEY) and he puts the cash on the barrelhead FIRST. But all he gets is “willing” to have sex. She’ll hold her nose and puke in her mouth a little, and she can get through it. But she absolutely hates it.
This is why she starts conditioning and limiting and controlling sex. No more BJs. No more doggie, no more cowgirl, no more weird positions. Missionary only. Lights off. BEdroom only. And maybe, MAYBE, once every other month. And then she gets up immediately afterwards and sprints to the bathroom to expel the icky sperm her icky husband just ejaculated into her.
And when other men show interest, this is why she cheats. Or if she takes her vows seriously, she won’t cheat. But what she does do is just as damaging to the marriage. It just takes longer to kill it.
She just simmers and seethes with anger and resentment. At him. At the situation. AT God. At her kids. At her coworkers. At everyone. Because she’s “trapped” in a marriage to a man she’s not attracted to. And because she made promises to him, she can’t cheat. She can’t have sex with a man she is attracted to, even though those men are available, they’re there, and they are plainly showing sexual interest in her. But she can’t have sex with them. Because she’s a married woman. Because she promised him. And because it is serious sin. She knows she can’t do that. And that frustrates her. And pisses her off. And angers her. And triggers resentments.
She starts treating him poorly. She snaps at him. She yells at him. She goes all silent treatment. She goes passive aggressive. She says “if only you would help me around here/do more chores/take care of the kids I wouldn’t be so stressed. So he does what she says. But she still doesn’t want him. She’s still pissed off. He doesn’t understand it. He’s doing what she asked. Why isn’t it better? What do I have to do to make it better?
There’s nothing he can do. Because she’s not attracted to him and never was. Or she had so little attraction, what little was there isn’t enough to last long term and won’t survive the stressors of marriage.
That’s why the answer is to be sexually attractive, and to hard next any woman who isn’t showing clear signs of hard visceral sexual attraction. And to continue being sexually attractive throughout the entire life of the relationship, and to insist on your marital rights at all times.
her role isn’t limited now to a lifetime of being a “lowly” housewife, because that’s no longer respected (thanks feminism)
from kindergarten kids are taught to go to college and have a career. they have college week, and kids have to wear something from a college and pick a college and pick a career … and being a Mommy is *not* an acceptable career.
once a SAHM you then have to deal with all the working moms who need validation that they’re not harming their kids by putting them in daycare and who need affirmation that they’re just as much of a mom as a sahm. it gets stupid, really, every woman trying to justify her choices. not even a fight worth throwing a bone into b/c no one wins.
Women are talking to each other, but they must be passing around bad information.
yes … women are ALWAYS talking to each other, and they are always competing against one another, and the information they pass around is sometimes false, sometimes bad, and sometimes good. i always tell single men to get to know the friends of the woman he likes … b/c those friends will influence her a whole lot more than he will over time.
To whom is your commitment – to your spouse, or to God?
When we are at the Judgement Seat, and we say “but … ” – will God say “Oh yeah, good point. My commandments were just suggestions anyway. Come on in, even though I can’t say ‘well done’ “?
Every single human in our orbit will fail us at some point. Some of them will fail us multiple times – as will we them. And that is the reason for vows, for commitment – to get past the failure(s), to the relationship on the other side. When you commit to a person, that commitment will likely disappear after the 1st “x” numbers of failures by them. When the comitment is to God, and to what he requires, being able to face God at the Judgement Seat becomes the motivator, rather than the current status of our relationship with human failures being our motivator.
God and Adam were together in the Garden. In spite of God’s presence, God saw that Adam was lonely. That acknowledgement says that God and Adam, by themselves, were not enough for Adam. God created Eve as a “cure” for that aloneness. Eve forced Adam to choose between her and God. God knew she was going to do that and made her anyway. If God had intended for Adam to choose God over Eve, and end up right back where he started, why would he have made Eve to begin with?
The evidence collected by men sharing stories over the Internet is that it is a mistake for men to expect a wife that is better than the one Adam’s father made for him.
God did not tell Eve that Adam was leaving her and coming back to be with God, alone in his loneliness, a loneliness that God said wasn’t good for him. No. He told Eve that Adam was going to rule over her, imperfect as she was.
That is a message they don’t teach in Sunday School. That is a message that at least Christian men need to hear. God knew what Eve was going to do to Adam, and made her anyway. He could have created anything, and he created that. If he could/can create anything he wants, then he must have wanted an imperfect Eve, with Adam ruling over her, since that is what he created. How, then, does it make sense for men to expect a perfect wife, when Adam’s father did not get a perfect wife for him?
Unfortunately, the state has pretty much made it impossible for men to carry out the “ruling over” part – and so the only safe bet for men is getting a perfect wife. Unfortunately, they don’ exist. So we are left in a situation where, success comes only from behaving the way God intended us to – but the state makes that impossible. So – MGTOW is probably the only rational response left – although it puts men into a position that God says is not good for them (alone).
So – back to the Sunday School lesson we never had: what was the cure for Adam’s aloneness that God actually fashioned? The flesh and blood woman? Or the “opportunity” to rule over her (gave him something to do to take his mind off himself)? The woman didn’t turn out to be quite the help we expected her to be, so maybe “rule over” is the correct answer. If “rule over” actually is the correct answer, then what hath the state wrought by making that impossible?
(I’m not claiming or implying that men are perfect.)
Though I’m worried for the child. If they do divorce what is going to happen? If I have understood correctly the custody battles usually favor the mother especially with small kids.
the children always loose the most; always. but women have been conditioned to believe that children are “Resilient.” i’ve heard it so much i just want to slap anyone who says it anymore. those people have not had to live with kids who have been deeply wounded by a parent and try to help them through it all.
To whom is your commitment – to your spouse, or to God?
When we are at the Judgement Seat, and we say “but … ” – will God say “Oh yeah, good point. My commandments were just suggestions anyway. Come on in, even though I can’t say ‘well done’ “?
last month Snapper wrote a post (https://snappertrx.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/discussion-page-the-turning-point/) where he asked (Christian) women the question: “What was your turning point?” he wanted to know what made a submissive/obedient woman submissive and obedient.
after thinking about that i realized exactly what you wrote … my submission and obedience are to God first, and b/c of i fear God more, i choose to honor Him and do what He says – and what God says is that i am to be submissive and obedient to my husband. (i am not by any means saying i’m perfect at this as both my husband and my children would readily attest to).
though always challenging (b/c i am a human female 😉 ) … it is much easier in my 2nd marriage than it was in my first b/c my first husband did a lot a things that made that more challenging. and i had to check myself often in that marriage to make sure i was honoring God. i remember reading the bible and discovering there was no ‘if/then’ clause for wives … i was not to submit to my husband ONLY IF he _______. i was to submit to my husband. period.
i think women in church are taught so much that God loves them and forgives them (which He does) that we’re not also taught to fear God … and we’re not also taught that the consequences of not fearing God are severe.
Ame,
I think that most Protestants no longer fear God, because most Christian denominations are taught that God simply only cares that you believe in God and that you accept Jesus as your personal savior. Nothing else matters and you won’t be cast away when it’s time for judgement as long as you hold these things to truth. And you have no standard to adhere to, because nobody is allowed to shame or cast out the deviants.
I am probably an agnostic. I was born to a Catholic family and raised by Protestants. Even if I don’t profess that I’m Christian, I tend to hold many of the Bible’s teachings to be of value for humanity, but I don’t even feel that most Christians really do. They pick and choose the things that are convenient. Part of the problems that most modern liberals have is that The Bible is probably one of the most RP texts ever made. Feminist women don’t like it and pick and choose what to take from it and most men do as well. It’s religion of convenience.
So it’s not just women that are not taught this forgiveness, but men as well. And men let the word of their God slide because it “doesn’t really matter”. But, I would say that modern Christianity is very appareling to modern women, because they can take the best parts of it and cast away the worst / most difficult and still achieve forgiveness no matter what. It really is a conundrum, if you think about it. A religion that teaches complete forgiveness with no consequences.
But, I would say that modern Christianity is very appareling to modern women, because they can take the best parts of it and cast away the worst / most difficult and still achieve forgiveness no matter what. It really is a conundrum, if you think about it. A religion that teaches complete forgiveness with no consequences.
only till they have to face God face-to-face … but by then it will be too late.
though the bible even says people will do these things, it’s still shocking to me when they do. they live in this bubble of their own creation. i look at them while they speak and just wonder at the lies they’ve had to tell themselves to believe what they do.
there are several places in the bible where it is written, “Do not be deceived,” for God knows we are susceptible to being deceived. one of those places: Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. Galatians 6:7 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+6&version=NKJV).
All these women that are being encouraged to “dump hubby” are also being encouraged to cut the children’s father out of their lives. In the end, the children will know.
All these women that are being encouraged to “dump hubby” are also being encouraged to cut the children’s father out of their lives. In the end, the children will know.
Maybe, maybe not
RPG has a new post
Oops
Farm Boy,
You had me going there. I thought we may be doubly honored today.
Alpha is alpha
Sometimes it’s tall and good looking, sometimes it ain’t
But…. What damn near all get wrong is women want what they don’t have. If they have Chad Thundercock they yearn for the sexless support of a beta, if she has beta bucks she wants slapped on the ass and told to bend over by Chad.
All this shit is dirt simple… and Deti nailed how women respond to beta. I was booted from Dalraock for saying this but it’s also dirt simple to turn beta husband into alpha. It’s called the pimp hand. That’s why feminist and their enablers worked so hard to water down domestic violence to the point of meaningless.
@thedeti
“I don’t agree with you about everything, but you’re correct about what you’ve been laying down here. “
It’s OK, very few agree with me and I’m OK with that. Everyone has been lied to all their lives and many have a tremendous emotional investment in what they’ve been taught and believe. Just looking at the RP-BP dichotomy should nail that down as fact.
“Women are “willing” to marry and have sex with a man she is not sexually attracted to, as long as he’s all in with commitment (read: MONEY) and he puts the cash on the barrelhead FIRST.”
(Forgive the toadsplaining, it’s what I do)
Let’s dig just a little deeper on this because there is at least one major factor present here that’s not being accounted for. While it is certainly true that women can and will marry a man for whom they have zero attraction or sexual desire, there is a missing piece of the puzzle that isn’t being examined.
Man who marries beautiful, desirable woman who is not in her league. Does he feel comfortable? No. She gets lots of attention from men of much higher value and she is constantly tempted to cheat. Obviously she could do so much better. Why did she marry him? Because he possessed something she valued.
Woman marries a cringeworthy man who is not in her league. Does she feel comfortable? Of course. He gets zero attention from women and has practically no opportunity to cheat. However, he had something she valued, which is why she married him.
Let us presume that the element he had that she desired was $MONEY$.
Question #1: Why was she willing to fuck him frequently prior to him putting a ring on it? Answer: Because he still had the power to say “NEXT!”
Question #2: Why does she stop fucking him after he puts a ring on it? Answer: Because he no longer has the power to say “NEXT!”
Discussion: Is that it? Answer: Part of her attraction to him was the competition from other women. When he made the commitment that part of her attraction to him died.
Question #3: What is the cause of this problem? Answer: Socially Imposed Monogamy.
Discussion: Think of the cat with the moving piece of string. As long as it’s moving, it’s attractive and the cat pursues it. When the cat catches the string it becomes boring and the cat walks away. That is an allegory for modern marriage.
The woman who did not sexually desire the man she married did so for particular reasons. While they may not amount to much, she is well aware that other women would be happy to marry her husband for the same reason. They represent competition. Monogamy gives her a hammerlock on that. Removing the socially imposed monogamy opens up the field to competition.
With competition, the husband’s value changes because it’s no longer just about her. She knows why she married him and if she was out of his league, other women who are out of his league will be willing to marry him for the same reason. Therefore, in order to keep what she has she has to perform. And so the monopoly is broken.
I have written about this repeatedly, but most do not comprehend.
In the modern world, the concept of enforced monogamy is the central problem.
“There’s nothing he can do. Because she’s not attracted to him and never was. Or she had so little attraction, what little was there isn’t enough to last long term and won’t survive the stressors of marriage. ”
This. I can’t count the number of women I’ve known who married their husband only because he wouldn’t stop up pursuing them. They got worn down and finally gave in just to get him to stop bugging them. One woman told me that she rejected her husband’s marriage proposal 4 times (!) before she just gave up and said yes the 5th time he asked, just so he would stop asking.
And now they’re stuck with a guy they aren’t attracted to. And they never really were.
Men need to stop believing the Hollywood movie trope that if you’re persistent, she will eventually want to be with you forever. You might get her, but it won’t be because she really wants to be with you.
If you have to ask more than once, she’s not that into you.
In the past with arranged marriages and such, love and sexual attraction grew over time… I’m sure I can’t be the only one whose read letters and diaries from the past that revealed these things right?
Marriages had the chance to bloom and grow – yes, even sexually, but a lot of it depended on the woman’s ability to really love her husband for who he was, and loving him, wanting to please him… which naturally falls into the sexual realm of pleasing his every desire.
@Rosalie
Though I’m worried for the child. If they do divorce what is going to happen?
It’s sad that you’re more worried about the child than the mother was when she decided to cheat.
@RJ
This. I can’t count the number of women I’ve known who married their husband only because he wouldn’t stop up pursuing them. They got worn down and finally gave in just to get him to stop bugging them. One woman told me that she rejected her husband’s marriage proposal 4 times (!) before she just gave up and said yes the 5th time he asked, just so he would stop asking. And now they’re stuck with a guy they aren’t attracted to. And they never really were.
That is literally the dumbest possible thing they could do. Only matched in stupidity by asking a woman to marry you more than once.
So why bother with this bullshit at all?
Just date. Automatic next after three months which is how long the initial tingles last.
Done.
Or mgtow.
But all this bullshit?? Why??
My ex wanted to be married SO badly. We started dating just shortly after I was out of high school.
After several years, I finally asked her. I think that in the back of my mind I knew it was a mistake which is why it took so long. ;P
Let’s just say that after she got a ring, she stopped putting any effort into the relationship. I think a few other guys around here have had similar experiences. Ultimately it became nothing to her and she wanted out after having the home, family, etc. No more need for marriage for her, and what they say about men being a utility for women is pretty much true.
I’m of the opinion that women who really want marriage and kids might be the more dangerous type to marry. In theory, that seems like a good thing, but in practice they may not be the best wives. She had a lack of interest in putting much effort into anything. She was a good mother though, and in general still is pretty good. I hope that she can keep it up on her own. I think that she’s the kind of person who can only focus on one thing at a time, whether it is relationships, parenting, work, a hobby, etc. She gets wrapped up in just that one thing and everything else gets ignored.
I can’t count the number of women I’ve known who married their husband only because he wouldn’t stop up pursuing them
I have seen this phenomenon not
Stephanie…”In the past with arranged marriages and such, love and sexual attraction grew over time… I’m sure I can’t be the only one whose read letters and diaries from the past that revealed these things right?”
Depending on how far in the past you’re referring to…I’m a litt e surprised that the diary-writers would be that forthright about the sexual attraction part of it.
Different social norms and we are lead to believe that there was a time when chastity was once valued. Today’s average women often have 1-2 dozen sex partners before settling down (or more!), so is it any wonder that they can’t bond and experience attraction with one man?
To be honest, the thought of what exists in the dating pool makes me want to vomit.
Stephanie;
“In the past with arranged marriages and such, love and sexual attraction grew over time; I’m sure I can’t be the only one whose read letters and diaries from the past that revealed these things right?”
You are quite right. Our marriage was semi-arranged and over the years our attraction and desire for each other increased naturally, as did our feelings of loyalty, protection, owned and being owned.
The foundation of our marriage was simply the promises we made to one another, our family and to God; not feelings of “falling in love” or lust. Our arranged marriage seemed to have worked, this summer we will celebrate 25 years as husband and wife.
And she still jumps my bones from time to time!
I can’t count the number of women I’ve known who married their husband only because he wouldn’t stop up pursuing them. They got worn down and finally gave in just to get him to stop bugging them. One woman told me that she rejected her husband’s marriage proposal 4 times (!) before she just gave up and said yes the 5th time he asked, just so he would stop asking
That’s utterly insane. On the MAN’s part. What man is so incredibly thirsty he would ask a woman 4 times to marry him? Even in my bluest of blue pill I wouldn’t do that. No F’n way.
You don’t ask a woman to marry you unless you KNOW the answer is going to be a very, very enthusiastic YES!.
And if you are a woman, you turn him down and you CUT TIES and you don’t return calls or texts and you don’t talk to him and you delete and block him on social media and you don’t respond. If you have to, you get an order of protection. You cut the guy out of your life. THAT is how you get a man to stop asking.
“Depending on how far in the past you’re referring to…I’m a litt e surprised that the diary-writers would be that forthright about the sexual attraction part of it.”
David, a woman’s diary is where she reveals all of her most embarrassing secrets. I was terrified at the thought of my husband reading my diaries from high school!!!!! Oh my gosh I can still feel the feeling lol. But he read them and laughed at how I was so scared and embarrassed that he’d judge me for what I was really thinking sometimes.
He still adored me thank goodness.
But yes, women reveal everything in their diaries, and I have no idea why women have diaries (or usually used to have diaries)…. It’s like they feel compelled to or something silly. But you can tell how a woman feels about her husband through them, if she likes or enjoys having sex with him. You can tell the evolution through the first anniversary to the second, on whether or not they’ve succeeded in creating that envious bond of sexual attraction that wasn’t there the first year for some of these women in the past. It grew overtime and often after seeing her husband for who he really was – a good amazing man she was lucky to get. It’s all there ❤ and it's really sweet.
Master Yoda:
I’m with you. I have not seen any man ask a woman repeatedly to get married and keep coming back after being turned down multiple times. Even in my blue pill haze I was smart enough to see that.
What I have seen is what I have described numerous times: Woman getting older and tired of riding/kicked off the carousel. Time to “settle down”. Finds nice beta bux, sexes him a few times, ropes him in with pornstar sex, extracts the marriage proposal, gets married, no more sex, then “get pregnant” sex, gets pregnant, has kid, gets “unhaaaaappy”, divorce rapes husband, keeps income stream from husband in form of vaginamony and chilimony.
And gets back on the carousel.
I think that getting back on the carousel is her plan. Whether it works or not is another matter.
Getting back on the carousel is a bad, bad plan but she’ll see! She’s not a high schooler/college gal anymore!
I recently watched an episode of Dr. Phil, which normally I never do. Interestingly it was of a married woman with 4 kids that had fallen in love with an African man she met online and wanted to drop everything and go be with him and live in his village. She, along with HER parents, and her husband were on the show. They were trying to convince her how crazy her plan was. What surprised me most was why her husband was fighting so hard to keep her. Why not allow her to go? Why not be insulted by her disloyalty? Why not divorce her and cut ties? He was too nice, too kind. At least he had her parents on his side. But in my opinion, there should be no forgiveness. He was playing the part of a doormat. And in return she had no respect for him. She felt there were no consequences for her actions. That she could run back to him anytime if her crazy plan did not workout. There has to boundaries that you know you should never cross. Because if you do, there is no going back. In some other cultures, her actions would be thought of as criminal.
@ love yes, the fact that someone would go on television and admit to such stupidity and not even be self aware is a perfect example of how dysfunctional “go guuuurl” things have become.
Love – I’m pretty sure that all of those shows are fake, but nevertheless that’s a totally crazy plot. I honestly can’t believe that her husband would try to keep her either, but it probably is more about the kids than her. A man doesn’t have much choice anymore, because she could potentially take the kids and collect money from the ex and *still* run off to live with the new guy. So some of these guys resort to the lesser of two evils.
If the laws were different and he had nothing to lose except for her (because she’s clearly a lost cause), he might say: “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass one the way out.”
Yes you’re right, the show was probably exaggerated. She did want half her husband’s tax return to fund her ‘brilliant idea’. She had already introduced her children to her new love. They had all chatted online. Perhaps the husband was afraid she would eventually take the kids from him too.
Might have also been a play on those African scammers. I can’t tell you just how many junk emails I get every day that are an attempt to scam someone out of money, and she could be falling for it. He probably told her that he’s a Nigerian prince. 🙂
i bet it never occurred to the lady that it could be a scam and she could get herself and her kids killed or sold or who knows! 😦
LOL. This is nuts, but women are like this all the time now (mid-life sex crisis with no boundaries) only not quite as extreme in wanting to leave her family go live in a hut.
It’s like “Eat Pray Love” in the jungle.
https://www.drphil.com/videos/man-says-wife-of-18-years-wants-to-divorce-him-for-26-year-old-kenyan-shes-never-met-in-person/
https://www.drphil.com/videos/woman-says-shes-ready-to-divorce-husband-for-younger-kenyan-man-with-whom-shes-been-sexting-and-having-an-online-affair/
https://www.drphil.com/videos/family-begs-loved-one-not-to-go-to-africa-to-meet-boyfriend/
RPG – Links to that crazy show in moderation queue.
That woman’s indifference towards her family reminds me of my ex when she had one foot out the door. Even the resemblance in behavior and, look, speech, is uncanny. It’s like she was a totally different person who was replaced by an alien replicant or something. It’s creepy.
@a dad yeah that’s crazy!!! I wonder if they ever did a follow up?
Yes it’s really sad when people become so determined in their own mind they don’t care what their actions do to others, or do they have any interest in trying to make things work. Guys can do this too, my ex did. He gave no warning of his feelings then just “I thought I wanted this but I don’t.” Just left, no willingness at all to look at it or work on it. Two weeks before his daughter’s 2nd birthday. I don’t know for sure but highly suspect he was leaving for another woman who then dumped him when she realized the property she was after was mine not his. It later came out the gal is a pathalogical liar and was working four different guys simultaneously. After learning that I figured he’d been duped, and would have tried to work it out for my daughters sake but he wouldn’t. It still blows me away how selfishly he choose himself over his child but people do…
by an alien replicant or something
Only one Yoda there is
“Two weeks before his daughter’s 2nd birthday.”
Wow that must have been so devastating for y’all. So sad 😥 Makes me think of our two year old and how that would just totally crush him!
I’ve seen that happen, it just seems so rare compared to the wives who blow up their marriages. But wow Bloom, I’m glad your daughter has a good relationship with her dad now, because that definitely could have ruined it.
Bloom – so very sorry 😦
kudos to you for keeping up with him and encouraging that relationship between your daughter and him. she needs it regardless of what he’s done.
@ame I work really hard to keep all that seperated. What happened w us sucked, but what matters now is our daughter. There’s no need for it to keep sucking. That’s what continuing the drama or conflict w an ex does, prolongs the suck part. No thanks! I know a lot of people do it but I just don’t have the energy for that nonsense!
You are wise, Bloom. Keep it up; it will be better for all of you, especially both your girls.
Great post, and honestly true. Bad things always come back to bite you.