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I have a friend who once complained when a man she met online planned a relatively inexpensive outing for their second date.
Instead of embracing a fun and creative day, she pouted the whole date and (surprise) wasn’t asked out on a third.
Dating is expensive, especially if he’s picking up the tab. Being mindful of that, and even suggesting fun but low cost date ideas yourself, is a good way to stand out from the entitled princess types and demonstrate you’ve got LTR partner potential.
Yes, dinners out at the best places in town are nice, but a gal who expects nothing less on every outing may find herself soon wondering why he never called again.
Oh and be sure to say, “Thank you.” A guy once told me it’s surprising how many women don’t, and when it happened, he would not call them back.
What do you think about the economics of dating? Please share in the comments!
I’ve been out on a couple dates now. How are you eat on dates and how I eat by myself or when I’m picking up the tab is completely different. When I am by myself I will get that $22 baby back ribs and that eight dollar glass of wine with a 450 side of fries. When I am on a date I order an appetizer at my meal better than $10 and usually only get water. It’s OK for me to waste my money it’s not OK for me to his Plus I need to keep my mouth empty so I can ask him questions
When I’m on my own, I don’t even eat a full rack of ribs, and I’m a large, full-sized man.
I just made a ribeye last night and it lasted me two nights. Damn, it was good though.
Sir t’s not a full rack of baby back ribs. It’s easily a half rack paired with coleslaw and fries. My point was I spend my money on my food his money should be spent on the thing that he desired to Speng it on And an entitled woman it’s not one of them.
Being that I’ve not dated in so long, I wouldn’t even know what the etiquette is. I appreciate that you don’t want him to spend money on you but I’d imagine that if you just got an appetizer and water he might feel a bit awkward, but what do I know?
dating is expensive (more so for men). However, I’d like to add to that. My fellow males should choose better, and dating wouldn’t be “as” expensive. Going out on dates with multiple women who don’t deserve your time (or money) is what makes it expensive (oh and lack of creativity). So, I prefer less expensive, outings, to the park, a cultural area in town, a coffee house, or somewhere like that. Great first date spots and a way to really get to know a person without all the distractions (and expenses).
Overall, I believe dating to be.. manageable if you are smart with who you spend your time with. Foolproof? No… you’ll always run into those that can fool ya. But, spend more time having conversations, getting to know the person before you decide to take them out on a date. Problem is, we love to jump right into action without talking enough beforehand then complain when the tab is being run-up.
Hi, I have recently written a post on the flaws of traditional dating (i.e. having dinner at a restaurant and just talking) and would appreciate it if you checked it out: https://ffoughts.wordpress.com/2017/12/26/reasons-to-not-date/
Great blog post. Thanks for sharing.
All of my 1st dates are the same. We go to a bar (at most drink 1 drink) that is within walking distance of other bars. We sit at the bar so it’s easier to read body language, flirt, playfully touch, etc. Then we’ll play darts (or pool). At this point I’ll lead her to another bar that is nearby. I’ve discovered it’s good to keep things moving. Sitting still is a death nail early on in dating. If things have gone well, I’ll usually go in for the kiss at the 2nd bar unless she doesn’t like PDA, in which case, I’ll go in for the kiss when I walk her to her car.
I don’t recommend expensive dates until sex has happened at least 3 times. This is simply because I never want my date to feel I’m expecting sex in exchange for me paying for the date.
Also, some times it’s okay to have her pay for some stuff. For example, if we play darts, we can make a friendly bet. Loser buys a drink. Or use her quarters for the dart machine. This has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t afford it, but again I don’t want her to think I’m paying for sex. And it also shows that she has to work for me too.
I do believe men should be providers and should pay. But no need for expensive dates in the beginning.
There are very few times when I see things from a man’s perspective and pity them. Dating is one of those times. Yes, I think it’s important to impress a girl on a date, but there are other things to impress her with besides money. The fact that the guy puts in effort and wants to spend alone time with the girl should be appreciated. The dates that are inexpensive but thoughtful should be what’s popular now.
Haha.. This one made me crack up. What else was she hoping? She dropped in a hint that anything lower than his own first date plan was going to piss her off. If I were a boy, I would evaluate a person’s intent the same way, and never give them a third.
I wrote a piece on how to NOT be an ass when dating, and maybe you will agree. Have a look. 🙂
https://aguidetorelationships.wordpress.com/2018/02/21/dating-tricks-to-avoid-being-dicks/
I always say thank you, offer to pay my own ticket and even sometimes there’s too, and I even pick out cheaper things to do. But somehow, I still never get another date. Haha
@ whatisthisawkwardlife If you don’t mind my asking how are you meeting people to date? Online? In person? With moredetails we may be able to help you troubleshoot what might be going on! 🙂
I meet people through mutual friends, going out, and online.
@ whatisthisawkwardlife, any ideas what may be behind the no 2nd dates? DO you live in an urban area? Rural? How old(ish) are you? How many dates a year? Maybe describe a typical date? Etc.
I have no clue what’s behind the no 2nd dates. Because the dates always go well. They even tell me they want to go out again, but never text me back. So I wait about a week and ask them how they are, I usually get a reply but then they go on about how they met someone already. I live in a town that’s urban and rural. I go on a lot of dates, like at least one a week or every two weeks. Typical dates for me are either hiking and dinner, or dinner and drinks. Sometimes movies too.
@whatisthisawkwardlife, hummm… all that sounds good. Dating can be puzzling, for sure. Maybe try to think back is there is any common thread, you don’t need to post it here for example, but it may provide some illumination. Sometimes it’s all about identifying and/or eliminating what is called in the manosphere “anti-game.” Not that I am saying it is something you are doing, but just in case there is something you could change to see if that improves things, worth pondering. I learned a lot from this guy’s blog, it’s sometimes harsh, but think of it as advice from a caring big brother. It clued me into a LOT of things I had been doing/thinking/approaching in ways that were working against me. I read a few posts at a time until I had read them all. He stopped writing new ones which is a shame but there’s some really good advice in there that I had not seen anyone else ever say that made total sense when it was said! http://www.therulesrevisited.com/p/list-of-all-posts.html Let me know what you think!
p.s. I am following your blog, hope to hear good things soon! :)It’s a jungle, be sure you don’t become the prey!