Something women should do is choose who they surround themselves with wisely.
Why? We tend to adopt the views and habits of those around us.
So for example if you value marriage and family, best to surround yourself with likeminded pals who share your goals and ideals. Likewise, surrounding yourself with women pondering frivorce, or who live a “sex in the city” lifestyle, or who don’t value marriage and family would be unwise.
Attitude and emotions are infectious. I know many times I have been feeling perfectly fine, only to have time spent with negative women running down their man, marriages, jobs, etc. leave me feeling drained and dissatisfied myself. I call such negative get togethers “hen sessions” and now avoid them at all costs. These groups can be found anywhere — even in church bible study groups!
I found the same effect can happen with television. Talk shows are one example. After half an hour of listening to people who have made bad choices and have big problems, it’s hard not to feel upset, angry, or down yourself.
Social media is another area where this can easily occur. I finally decided to forgo it altogether when it turned the corner from a fun way to share photos with family and friends and into a quagmire of people arguing and disagreeing about everything under the sun.
Pay attention to the attitudes and life choices of those in your inner circle. Are they people who inspire and uplift you or people who leave you feeling defeated and down. Not that everyone can’t have an occasional off day, but overall is their glass half full or half empty?
Its OK to step back or take a break from the toxic people in your world for your own sake. It doesn’t have to be a big blow up, you can simply fade away. If you must interact with them at work, family gatherings, or other social situations take steps to insulate yourself from their rays of gloom as much as possible.
Time is too precious to spend with people or activities that bring negativity and drama into your world. Trust me, you will be a lot happier without all the angst.
Seek out those who are happy and healthy themselves. You’ll build each other up and enjoy doing it. Better to just have a single friend of this sort than oodles of the other.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Absolutely! Misery loves company. I have noticed that depending on my circle of friends. The party girls want you on their bandwagon. You have to party hard to be qualified to be in that group. No real substance. The newly divorced ones attempt to live a sex and city life and want you to hate the concept of marriage too. I actually prefer the married with children ones … Yet they’re often too busy and if you don’t have a family of your own, you don’t get invited to many of their events.
I think that this could be said in every aspect of life. Keep people around you who bring positive value to your life, and ignore those who don’t.
It’s sometimes a tough thing to do. Even in this blog, some of us guys can bring doom and gloom. Some of it is just a byproduct of getting over a tough experience. I’m finding though that it doesn’t help matters for everyone. Anger can be normal and healthy but perpetual anger probably is not. I get that life is not always about the most perfect outcome, but trying to be positive and association with positive people can tend to go a long way. I’m working on it. I’ve been pessimistic at points in my life and don’t want to be that way anymore, if anything to provide a good model of healthy emotions for my own son.
Agree 100% ! I have one friend who has a victim/princess mentality. She is constantly WHINING about something. She always says that I bring such positive vibes to the room. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for her so I chose to limit my time with her. Life is way too short to be in that space.
Relevant
Psychologist Jordan B. Peterson also characterizes socialism as both driven by resentment and fostering resentment. In a panel, he said of Marxism:
“There is the dark side of it, which means everyone who has more than you got it by stealing it from you. And that really appeals to the Cain-like element of the human spirit. Everyone who has more than me got it in a manner that was corrupt and that justifies not only my envy but my actions to level the field so to speak, and to look virtuous while doing it. There is a tremendous philosophy of resentment that I think is driven now by a very pathological anti-human ethos.”
Those who have lost themselves in a downward spiral of resentment would rather fail than succeed if it meant that their class enemies would suffer along with them. The phrase “misery loves company” is particularly applicable to the socialist mindset.
As Mises explained, people often cling to resentment and scapegoating because it offers consolation, however fleeting
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-01-24/how-believing-socialism-can-make-you-miserable
Farm Boy – JBP recently was doing an interview and mentioned that his daughter has a serious, crippling auto-immune disease. Even when she was unable to walk correctly and had several issues, he encouraged her to avoid taking the path of feeling sorry for herself and the unfortunate situation. I’m paraphrasing a bit, but it essentially came down to how the victim mentality would put her in an even worse position as she got older.
She got through it and apparently is tough as nails, and smart. Clearly takes after her parents, and at the very least her dad.
The best thing that you can ever do for your children is to teach them how to fly. Sometimes it takes compassion, other times a little tough love. Ultimately though the message is to teach them accountability rather than let them wallow in self pity to remain childlike through their entire lives. I see this behavior predominantly on the left, particularly among third-wave feminists and cultural Marxists (basically the same thing). We are doing everyone a disservice if we continue to tolerate this sort of thing.
Fortunately I think that we have a growing number of people who see the negative impact that this crybully behavior has put us in, and it just might be possible to encourage change if we can start with our own selves, children, etc.
““There is the dark side of it, which means everyone who has more than you got it by stealing it from you. And that really appeals to the Cain-like element of the human spirit. Everyone who has more than me got it in a manner that was corrupt and that justifies not only my envy but my actions to level the field so to speak, and to look virtuous while doing it. There is a tremendous philosophy of resentment that I think is driven now by a very pathological anti-human ethos.””
That is so good, Farm Boy. Soooo true! People with envy issues though rarely ever see it as their problem. They’ll see the positive, happy person as the “envy inciter” lol… and only see the blessings that person has as attempts to make them more envious.
As strange and odd as that sounds – it’s hard to wrap my head around that kind of thinking.
Also… who you surround yourself with, you will also be known by when people think of you. You will also become like the people you hang around with. Those verses in the Bible about choosing who you’re affiliated with wisely are there for a reason.
“She got through it and apparently is tough as nails, and smart. Clearly takes after her parents, and at the very least her dad.”
I’m familiar with her story, and it didn’t stop there. She had to deal with online harassment from her backstabbing friends as well and had to fight hard against bitterness and depression/disillusionment. I remember him talking about that somehow and how she was bewildered.
I think it’s awesome to be tough as nails but also allow your heart to be broken and still soft.
“I think it’s awesome to be tough as nails but also allow your heart to be broken and still soft.”
——————-
Very common theme around here. 😉
“Social media is another area where this can easily occur. I finally decided to forgo it altogether when it turned the corner from a fun way to share photos with family and friends and into a quagmire of people arguing and disagreeing about everything under the sun.”
Ame mentioned she has to take breaks from reading here… I think that’s really wise. Real life is so much happier, rich in relationships, and enjoyable to me even though I love seeing the instructive or informative (and especially funny) comments. But I’m an extrovert, so online engagement would never be enough for me… I have to get out and meet with a friend or family members and talk to people in general.
I’m familiar with her story, and it didn’t stop there. She had to deal with online harassment from her backstabbing friends
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2016/04/10/crabs-in-a-bucket/
Hey Farm Boy – “Tell me about the lobsters”. Er… Crabs.
But I’m an extrovert
Believe this I would
Like Degoba you would not
Farm Boy I loved that post, but re-reading it reminded me of how devastating that sounded for the smart students in the slums 😦 I was bullied, but never to that degree of excrement on my possessions and sexual assault!
From Sunshine Thiry back then:
“I’m with you there. My 11-year-old minivan looks a little clunky but it still drives fine. Kiddos want to know why I don’t get a new, shiny one like everyone else’s mom has. Because I don’t want to be 40K in debt like everyone else’s mom.”
^ Yea 🙂 my husband just bought me a “new” used minivan last year and I was just excited we got such a great deal and could buy it in cash!!! But I’ve got quite a few friends who buy new minivans that come with all the bells and whistles and are really shiny… but I never feel that feeling of envy… probably because it’s so satisfying to buy something in cash.
Our’s is still so awesome… it’s a “luxury” mini so it’s really pretty inside and has a really cool blue-green lighting at night along the ceiling and sides which is nice for the kids when going on long car trips. It’s still very clean ❤ we try to take good care of it hoping it's gonna last.
It’s far more liberating to have zero debt and to actually save for tangible things (liek retirement) rather than living as an indentured servant with loans for your life. I do tend to buy new cars but I always drive them far beyond what most people do. There are a number of ways that I keep my mileage low though, so driving isn’t a big priority to me.
I think that the other parents will be envious of you when you retire earlier, and have a better quality of life. Excessive debt keeps people in a hellish cycle for life. It’s the main reason why people can’t live off of a single income anymore; Their choices keep them chained to the banks.
A dad
Skyward by a young Ron Howard. A waist down paralized girl learns to fly by Bette Davis.
The young actress was paralyzed and did fly the aircraft at the end scene.
Loved this when I was young. Taught me to never say ‘its not fair.”
P.s.
Why give a F what anyone else thinks about you.
They are not you, they cannot live your life.
Only your opinion of you matters.
At best others are “taken under advisement….maybe…sorta…”
Agreed re: no debt is better than being in hock. But than again I have never been a person who cares about what car or clothes or shoes or whatever someone has. Not that I begrudge someone (or myself) having nice things, but it doesn’t make them (or me) “better” or “worse” in my mind.
I just heard from a work friend I have known for 20+ years but haven’t spoken to in several. She’s always had a very privileged life, and she and her husband make a lot of money and spend all of it plus on travel, food, fancy clothes, etc. Their money, life, and choices.. Anyway I wrote to say I would be on a trip near where she lives and would love for us to meet up if possible. The tone in her reply was so snotty and entitled, I was honestly taken aback. Instead of being happy we may see each other, she basically told me she’s really “hurt” that I am not coming to just see her, and haven’t “bothered” to before. She absolutely knows how tight money and time and everything has been for me as a single mom, but apparently rather than realize that’s why, she seems to be taking it very personal. It amazes me that someone could be blessed with plenty and respond by becoming a smaller, more bitter, worse person for it. How sad is that? Entitlement SUCKS.
Good advice.One pet peeve I have to complainy people with a victim mentality. Nothing is ever their own fault, therefore everything is out of their hands so they can claim they have no responsibility. Can’t stand it.
I don’t mind social media but twitter can get pretty ridiculous. I’m on there for 20 minutes and the next thing I know I have some triggered guy trying to threaten my life over an article I wrote 3 years ago. Damn.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/01/26/boys-with-possibly-mum-and-sisters-as-sluts/
I have learned that myself. It goes as far as the music we listen to and the thoughts we allow. It is something most people don’t put enough weight in