Comments in yesterday’s post brought up the topic of kids needing parents just as much in the tween and teen years as the ones before. A story about the 13-year-old daughter of a co-worker is an excellent example.
The family lives in a neighborhood in town. Dad works, mom is SAH. Four kids, two grown, one boy younger than the 13-year-old by 5 years. The daughter had friends in the neighborhood she regularly hung out with so mom didn’t think much of it when she asked to go to her friend’s house a few streets over.
Luckily after a few days the friend’s conscience got the better of her, and she told her mom the girl had actually gone to meet a supposed 17-year-old boy she had met on snap chat. The girl met him at a dead end road, got in his car, and the two made out. Mind you this was a complete stranger she had only met online a few hours before!
Luckily things did not go as badly as they could have, the girl easily could have never been seen again. When confronted she wasn’t sorry she had done it, only that she had been caught.
Mom hid the incident from dad, as she usually does. Instead of allowing dad to serve as protector, mom “shielded” her daughter from that and handled the punishment herself, some combo of losing the cell phone and being grounded.
Not long later the daughter (14 now) started attending the conservative Amish-like church in our area because she was interested in a boy who attended there.
They would meet in town unsupervised “to go to McDonalds” or some such and her mom thought it was all on the up and up until the boy’s mother called one evening to reveal she had read her sons text messages and discovered the two were sexually active.
The boy’s mother offered to “make it right” by considering the two betrothed and having them marry in a few years. The boy’s mother suggested a meeting of the fathers to discuss it.
Again the mom declined, hid the information from the dad, and the boy’s parents forced him to break off the relationship.
The girl no longer attends the church and is embarrassed because “everybody knows” and avoids her now.
Later, the girl’s mom learned this boy had not been her daughter’s first sexual partner. Somehow she had concealed the other relationship from her mom entirely.
The mom responded by figuring it’s just going to happen, so she took her daughter to get an IUD and has pretty much given up on trying to keep track of her whereabouts. The girl is increasingly defiant and continues down this path.
While some of the details are unique, it’s probably not such an atypical example of what pre-teens/teens might be doing with unsupervised idle time.
Commenters were right to say that just because kids of this age can be more independent, that doesn’t mean that parents can check out or be hands off.
Perhaps what this girl needed was more parental involvement, more structured activities, parents who were working together to keep her from making bad choices, and a more transparent relationship with her dad?
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
oh.my.gosh.
that mom needs her husband to whup her and take control of his women and his kids.
mom is lying and hiding things from her husband then is shocked daughter is doing the same to her?!!!
with my girls dad I was careful about how and when I told him things about our girls b/c he had a violent streak in his addiction cycle. it was wise to time it well when he was in a good place in his cycle. but I did not hide things from him.
our girls always knew, even after the divorce, that they were really screwed when I started out with, “I talked to your dad about this … .”
there are things he and I had decided upon that I carried out even after he died.
to hide things from the dad is criminal and stupid. this mom can pretty much be blamed for her daughter’s behavior.
Agreed Ame, the mom was making a huge mistake by undermining her husband’s role. This guy is very stable and reasonable, there was no reason to hide things from him. And if she hadn’t, I think all of this probably would NOT have happened. Instead of looking to him as the head of the family, this gal thinks she knows best and tries to run the show and well — it’s a mess. And she wonders why she’s so unhaaaaaapy.
So, “female empowerment” comes home to roost, eh?. Big surprise.
I think there needed to be more open and honest conversations. She’s at that age where hormones and urges are becoming too strong for ‘just ignore’ or ‘do what you feel’. All behavior is communication. Was she trying to communicate something more to her parents through her actions? Freedom with boundaries is a good idea too.
Here’s a red pill lesson for you ladies.
Keeping stuff like this covered up is only hurting the daughter….not protecting her. Yes the father should be given this information. It wont be long until an oops happens and another single mother is born.
I don’t know if it’s different with sons or if my mother knew dad was a disciplinarian…but she never kept my hijinks hidden from him.
This relevant
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/01/18/must-all-teen-girls-become-sluts/
I’m trying not to approach things from such a negative perspective, but it seems that even if a woman isn’t kicking a man out of the house, she’s hiding things from him to deliberately prevent him from being able to parent. Probably has to do with “the patriarchy” or some such thing.
The straw that broke the camels back in my own marriage was a debate about proper parenting, and it escalated into arguments about other things that night.
Sorry ladies, but I honestly don’t think that your gender is typically very good at parenting beyond the toddler phase. Probably has something to do with lack of accountability and moral agency for the majority. The mother is not taking responsibility and is clearly damaging her teen. It’s statistically proven to be a problem in most single mother homes and clearly exists in many married homes as well.
NAWALT and NAMALT clearly apply, for sure. It was like the wrath of God when my siblings and I stepped out of line, when my mother found out. She was a single mother with only boys, but I shudder to think of how things would have turned out if I had sisters. My own mother also never really took responsibility for many of her own mistakes until she was a lot older; Especially in the ways that she picked men. Note how the boy’s mother tried to make it right and also tried to get the fathers involved (you can be sure that the boy’s dad knew about it), but the girl’s mother put a stop to it to protect her sweet little, innocent, daughter. It’s a perpetual problem that will not stop. The daughter will do the same things again and will pass the behavior onto her daughter(s).
I’m betting that the girl coerced the boy into sex. It’s not like it takes much. To be honest, the boy is better off without her and the parents did the right thing by removing her from the boy’s life. She’s clearly one who’d only get him into trouble.
This isn’t to say that fathers don’t dote on their girls either. They do. But I don’t think that most fathers are going to tolerate a 13-14 year old girl slooting around after the church boys.
I’m betting that the girl coerced the boy into sex. It’s not like it takes much. To be honest, the boy is better off without her and the parents did the right thing by removing her from the boy’s life. She’s clearly one who’d only get him into trouble.
i have no doubt.
I probably take it a bit too seriously as a father of a young boy. We just live in a culture now of predatory women that get away with blaming young men for their mistakes. No accountability. This is just a case where the parents caught it before it got out of control. Let’s just say that she got angry with the boy and later accused him of something serious. What would he have but his own word?
I think that parents really need to think carefully about what is going on right now. Even in spite of being physically stronger, it’s likely going to mean that boys need more protection than girls as they grow. It didn’t used to be this way. Parents did try to hide when their daughters became pregnant. Even 20 years ago it was still not uncommon for them to ship them off to a family member’s place, mysteriously, for a year. Only to have them come back a little thicker.
Now, there just is zero accountability for the girls. And if she has sex with someone else, even if she initiates it, she can retract her willingness at a later date and brand him as a rapist or something along those lines. It’s clearly a total mess when young girls have no fear of God, no fear of pregnancy, and no fear of backlash when a society treats them as victims of their own decisions.
My oldest is 28 and we have not yet hit the point where she doesn’t need me as a parent. That need has changed, way less barking orders and a lot more mentoring and what not but the need is still there
Now on to mothers…. way over rated once the kid is about 4 or so. In fact at a certain point I think mothers retard the maturation procces
‘I’m betting that the girl coerced the boy into sex.’
I wouldn’t doubt it either. The days of sweet little naive girls are long gone. Most of them are the predators now.
“My oldest is 28 and we have not yet hit the point where she doesn’t need me as a parent. That need has changed, way less barking orders and a lot more mentoring and what not but the need is still there
Now on to mothers…. way over rated once the kid is about 4 or so. In fact at a certain point I think mothers retard the maturation procces”
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I think that’s typical. I’ve seen grown women all of my life who rely on their parents more than men do. Even into 40s and beyond. Whether it is money, or help, they never seem to grow up. Just in watching my own divorce and my buddy’s; Parents funneling money and moving assistance to the women on both sides. My buddy’s ex-wife is like 40 and she still has a credit card that daddy pays for. He also bought her a fairly nice brand new SUV a few years ago. It’s absurd. Most women who claim to be independent often have someone that’s supporting them up through the ripe old age of 50; Whether it’s parents or alimony. I honestly don’t understand how a grown woman doesn’t feel ashamed of this, but what do I know? I’m a man. I got my own place at 18 and never looked back.
There is this criticism of men for keeping their boyish hobbies, but at least they seem to be able to sustain themselves provided you can actually get them to move out at some point. Lots of millennial soyboys who seem to be living in basements though.
‘It’s clearly a total mess when young girls have no fear of God, no fear of pregnancy, and no fear of backlash when a society treats them as victims of their own decisions.’
It starts with the no fear of God. Why would they? All their sins can be blamed or rationalized onto a man. They have no sense of shame and how they are putting their souls in peril.
And that’s the biggest pity I have for them. If they don’t seek repentence, they can’t receive mercy. Even the prostitutes and adulterors in Jesus’s time sought repentence for their promiscuity.
‘ I honestly don’t understand how a grown woman doesn’t feel ashamed of this, but what do I know? I’m a man. I got my own place at 18 and never looked back.’
That’s probably the difference. Men like to be self-reliant. My father would help me sometimes with funds when I made a big move…but he told me it was a loan and I had to sign a paper saying I’d pay it back.
Everytime I see a woman with a posh place and a nice car…I know some man is paying for it. If she’s not married, it’s daddy.
“I wouldn’t doubt it either. The days of sweet little naive girls are long gone. Most of them are the predators now.”
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It’s like a few of us were talking about a few threads back. Some of us guys never had to pursue women. I knew lots of really sexually aggressive women when I got out of high school. Lots of sex everywhere. I doubt that things have changed much for the teens these days.
I have no idea what it’s like for adults though, since I’ve not dated for nearly 20 years. I bet that most single women are still hypersexual but their goals have changed to locking down a provider with $$$.
‘I bet that most single women are still hypersexual but their goals have changed to locking down a provider with $$$.’
Oh yeah…trying to go for that ‘oops’ pregnancy.
The sexually aggressive women I’ve ran into were women I was never attracted to in the first place. I guess when you are ugly that’s the only card you can try to play.
“That’s probably the difference. Men like to be self-reliant. My father would help me sometimes with funds when I made a big move…but he told me it was a loan and I had to sign a paper saying I’d pay it back.
Everytime I see a woman with a posh place and a nice car…I know some man is paying for it. If she’s not married, it’s daddy.”
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One of my neighbors has a daughter who is divorced. She’s been living there again for a few years. Way too old for me (her son is a teenager), but she’s always out in daisy dukes and washing her car, which I assume is her only major possession and she takes pride in it.
She often drives by and waves. Grins and looks like she wants to eat me alive. I’m sure it would be easy sex but even her dad referred to her as “trouble” when we first met. I don’t really need that in my life.
Hey Ton. How did you go about teaching your boy to learn to be self sufficient? I want to get mine to be motivated. Trying to teach him various life skills (taking him to the shooting range for the first time) and how to be responsible. He seems to be developing some of it on his own; Doesn’t want help with things, etc. But I just want to make sure that I do the right things to counteract his mother’s influence which I feel can be a bit counterproductive to a boy’s well-being.
Way disagree Dad. My oldest son ain’t much younger and we still talk near on every day, for the same sort of reasons regarding bidness and the direction the family is going
I can’t see a man being a patriarch and not directing his older kids toward one family goal. I know men in the man o sphere love that patriarchy stuff. Maybe 1 in 50 is cut out for the job or even know what the job is
I told my son he had a mission in life, that mission was to continue to keep the family name in good standing. I told him when he was done he would be like the hero’s of old, this what needs to be, this is how you will learn to do these things etc etc
Basically I made him the hero in his own story. Told him that all the time from about 4 years old on up, started the training in earnest around 8. Made sure he knew about his forefathers, what they did etc. Told him….. we’ll a lot of stuff but you get the picture
i have to disagree with Ton as to a mother’s value and worth in the life of her child/adult children … but i will agree that many do not use their influence wisely or at all. 😉
i do agree that few men are cut out for the job of being the patriarch of the family or have any clue as to what that means or how to go about it. and the reason the term ‘patriarchy’ has such a bad rap is b/c so many men have abused it and mutilated it.
i agree that we never outgrow our parents. the older i get the more i long for my parents to be parents, which is odd b/c they never were. i had though i’d be so used to not having them that i wouldn’t miss it or need it, but i do miss them and need them.
and … sheesh … i really have the wrong dad, A Dad! both my dad and brother are millionaires several times over and neither would send a dime my way even if it just meant kicking it on the ground in my direction!
wow, Ton … that’s powerful.
Thanks for the info. I often think about how he’s my only son and that he’s my legacy. He seems to be dedicated to making me proud, and I appreciate that. I don’t want to pressure him too much but sometimes I think that there isn’t any other way. You need some expectation of greatness without being too overbearing that they reject it.
“i have to disagree with Ton as to a mother’s value and worth in the life of her child/adult children … but i will agree that many do not use their influence wisely or at all. 😉
i do agree that few men are cut out for the job of being the patriarch of the family or have any clue as to what that means or how to go about it. and the reason the term ‘patriarchy’ has such a bad rap is b/c so many men have abused it and mutilated it.
i agree that we never outgrow our parents. the older i get the more i long for my parents to be parents, which is odd b/c they never were. i had though i’d be so used to not having them that i wouldn’t miss it or need it, but i do miss them and need them.
and … sheesh … i really have the wrong dad, A Dad! both my dad and brother are millionaires several times over and neither would send a dime my way even if it just meant kicking it on the ground in my direction!”
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I’ve got more of a relationship now with both of my parents than I’ve had since I was a teen. Beyond a few close friends, they were still there. I think I had mentioned before that my dad and I hadn’t been speaking (not my choice – He was just being a dick), but we were close again when he found out about the divorce.
Regarding mothers – They are valuable when they are the right kinds of mothers. Same with fathers. But most mothers are not for the reasons I mention above. No accountability. Often hinder development more than help it. Men can’t get away with that shit once they have a family and actually expect their kids to be something some day.
LOL I know I am correct when a woman disagrees with me 😉
Being the Patriarch of a family is about what a man owes his future generations, about building up a great family name, building wealth and power that will ensure his family name survives into the future and bringing honor to his forefathers.
Its all a judgement call Dad. And each kid needs a different level of pressure
hehehe! nothin like a woman to validate a man! 😉 😉 😉
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those who use the role/patriarch to validate their masculinity and power are the ones who abuse it. the role/title doesn’t make a man a man. if he can’t be a man w/out the title/role, he will certainly destroy the role by using it to justify his masculinity.
You don’t have the correct plumbing to comment on what makes a man a man
i’m sure you’re right. i just know what i’ve seen and experienced at the hands of a few bad men who call themselves ‘patriarch’ … and it’s nothin at all like what you describe.
I probably take it a bit too seriously as a father of a young boy. We just live in a culture now of predatory women that get away with blaming young men for their mistakes. No accountability. This is just a case where the parents caught it before it got out of control. Let’s just say that she got angry with the boy and later accused him of something serious. What would he have but his own word?
I think that parents really need to think carefully about what is going on right now. Even in spite of being physically stronger, it’s likely going to mean that boys need more protection than girls as they grow. It didn’t used to be this way. Parents did try to hide when their daughters became pregnant. Even 20 years ago it was still not uncommon for them to ship them off to a family member’s place, mysteriously, for a year. Only to have them come back a little thicker.
Now, there just is zero accountability for the girls. And if she has sex with someone else, even if she initiates it, she can retract her willingness at a later date and brand him as a rapist or something along those lines. It’s clearly a total mess when young girls have no fear of God, no fear of pregnancy, and no fear of backlash when a society treats them as victims of their own decisions.
having recently helped my step son navigate those dicey waters, i’d say you cannot take it too seriously. those girls are menacing and mean and abusive and terrible, etc. you’ve got to teach him to protect himself or they’ll eat him alive 😦
Lots of dysfunction in the world darling and I know you had a front row seat for a lot of it.
thank you, Ton, for your compassion … and for your willingness to be so transparent out here. i’ve learned a lot from you. a lot. i’m not sure i can articulate it well, so perhaps that’s why that comment didn’t make sense. but men like you don’t seem to have this need to prove themselves with a title. you prove yourself by being, well, by being good at being a man. those who’ve i’ve experienced the other side from seemed to need the title to justify their manhood. i probably have this all wrong, but it’s made sense in my illogical female brain 😉
LOL The younger version of me had a huge drive to prove myself worthy. Every young man should
i’ve heard that my ex mil is not doing well in her health. my girls and i would like to visit her. we think we can manage when their son isn’t there (50+ who lives with his parents – is a total sociopathic jerk), but won’t be able to avoid the dad (from whom the son learned his ways). also, now that my youngest is 18 we don’t have to worry about a lot of other stuff. but we’re thinking it would be worth it to see her. my Oldest said, “Mom, i think she’s suffering from a broken heart.” i’m sure she’s right 😦 . so, i’m thinking we’ll make it a surprise visit. if we give them a head’s up, we’re just screwing ourselves.
‘those who use the role/patriarch to validate their masculinity and power are the ones who abuse it.’
It validates their authority.
Teen girls want the validation, tingles and freebies. Who wouldn’t? But they are not told of the cost.
There is anew post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/sticky-tape/
But they are not told of the cost.
no, Farm Boy, they are not. and if they are they often don’t believe it b/c of how much they see and get away with 😦
People are variable, based on their personality, where they lie on the introvert/extrovert scale, and the amount of testosterone that their body produces – among other things. With that variability as a given, most statistics show that young girls who have a father active in their life in a good way become sexually active at a much later age than girls who have an aloof father or none at all.
If the girl in the OP is an outlier, then so be it. If she is not, then her story suggests that her father is not very involved in her life. Maybe because the mother pushes him away? Maybe the mother has good reason to push him away? Maybe dad has sexually abused daughter and mom doesn’t know. Or she does know.
Too many unknowns to make any legitimate pronouncements. Best any one can hope for is that she will have someone there pickin’ up the pieces when she needs it.
@ RP I get what you are saying but I really doubt this dad is doing so. The mom runs the dad down to the kids all the time, Always saying she should divorce him bc unhaaaaaapy. I think she puts the kids against him to be honest. And that maybe she’s the one they should beware, not him.
I have written several posts about this family, I will have to search back for those posts.
IMHO this mom is super failing her daughter by basically washing her hands of it and hoping for the best. How many partners will the girl have at this rate by -8? 21? 25?
Richard has a point in that 13 seems awfully young to be sexually active without something having happened in her life to prompt that – usually being sexually abused herself by someone in her family. not saying it’s her dad, but someone. it could be, though, simply her mother being such a bitter, bitchy woman and demeaning her dad. to be 14 and manipulative enough to draw a church conservative boy into her lair to the extent she did … that seems a bit complex for that age to me – like it’s learned behavior from someone close to her … someone taught her by doing it to her, or she had a front row seat to watching it done to another.
one thing is true, though, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
IF her dad is abusing her, then the mother definitely knows … and mom is just as guilty as dad.
@Ame of course one never knows what goes on behind closed doors but from the outside it appears the girl is acting out of rebelliousness, almost like flipping her parents the bird. But true that has to come from somewhere…
Ame – That’s a fair point. While young women are having sex earlier even under what society deems as “healthy” circumstances, there is some correlation between age and abuse. In that case, I really believe that the best thing that her mother could do is get her some help, and fast. It’s not something that tends to correct itself easily, and it seems like too many parents tend to sweep it under the rug which makes things even worse. My own ex’s mother did that to her; ignored her pleas for help and called her a liar. It’s heartbreaking.
Yeah just to add…if something like that is in the background, keeping it covered up isn’t going to help her in any way. If anything it’s going to cause her to have a lot of behavioral problems.
I guess something I’ve not seen in the sphere that has been addressed (perhaps it has)…the effects of early sexual trauma on both boys and girls and how that influences their behavior in their teens-20s-etc. One of the things that often happens in a single mother household is the children gettting sexually abused as well (by the boyfriend or babysitter, etc.). That type of trauma could certainly explain some of the bizzare behaviors we are seeing.
If she didn’t have unmonitored access to a cell phone, none of this would have happened, but heaven forbid she be “weird” or “uncool” with such strict parents.
IF her behavior is learned from abuse … and it’s already been stated the mom hides things and lies … a cell phone monitored or unmonitored would make no difference.
i’m a bit surprised at myself that it took someone else to point it out … i’ve heard too much. seen too much. something deep triggered her, taught her, drives her away from home.
That’s a lot of speculation fir such a small amount of second hand intell
Dad: “How did you go about teaching your boy to learn to be self sufficient? I want to get mine to be motivated.”
It’s good if he can watch you work or do what you love to do. A lot.
I have a close friend from my Hollywood days, he was amazing at what he did. A super hard worker, keeping up with 20 departments, improvising brilliantly as productions got out of control (as most productions do) and sometimes taking over the roles of three different department heads, working 14 to 17 hours a day sometimes 200 days in a row. A freaking hero. Needless to say, the powers that be eventually worked him to death.
But he kept his family insulated from it (initially not a bad idea) and his son never knew what his dad was like. The kid grew up a goofball. Now, he’s stabilized somewhat but it’s important that the father not only kept the family separate but he had a very happy-go-lucky personality when he wasn’t at work. Night and day difference. At work he was an unforgiving task master to his employees and sometimes his bosses, he was also an ethical monolith and drove himself to the edge of destruction to do his best every single day and to inspire everyone else to do the same. His son REALLY needed to see that side of his dad and to be around it long enough to understand it and admire it as I did.
Explaining to a kid why you do what you do and how you do it is important, especially when you have to get tough with someone for their own good or for the good of others. Admitting when you are wrong or suspect you might have done better is also good. You don’t have to be perfect as long as the two of you can learn from your imperfection. Having the kid as a witness also improves your behavior and makes you a better example even as it helps build his character by example.
I think that a lot of time it’s better to have a kid watch and learn than to try to play a role in what you are doing which they are not prepared for … beware of going so far as to hire your son. Children need the detachment, the objectivity, of an observer until they are competent enough not to embarrass themselves in front of their father.
On the subject of women and responsibility: We’ve got a culture where men are allowed, even encouraged, to be Bad. Women are supposed to be good but the way female culture works that means really that women are supposed to be SEEN as being good or allowed to think that they are good. Taking responsibility for not being good is admitting to it and that is something that many women shy away from. There’s millennia old reasons for this, the imperatives of breeding, support of children, and paternity, we talk about them all the time.
There’s a secondary element these days, however. Bad has been converted into Wrong. Men, to a certain extent are allowed to be Wrong, to make honest or even less than honest mistakes. That’s healthy, especially if they correct the problem and take responsibility. Society tends to force men, whenever possible, to take responsibility. Women, because of 10,000 years of the fear of being Bad, have accidentally (but conveniently) built up an absolute terror of being Wrong. Not taking responsibility for this is pretty damn unhealthy for everyone. Society tends to let women off the hook for their being Wrong and women will go to great lengths to hide it and pretend (to themselves if no one else) that whatever it was didn’t happen.
Women’s culture, their consensus building, their communal mentality, tends to cover up mistakes as well as to spread the blame. Rationalizing allows them to excuse themselves. Of course there are individual men like this and there are entire male cultures like this (anyone do business with the Japanese?) … much of the time this is because their culture’s cost of being Wrong has been made equally extreme.
As always, this is all just an idea I’m playing around with. Your mileage may vary, as may my own!
“@ RP I get what you are saying but I really doubt this dad is doing so. The mom runs the dad down to the kids all the time, Always saying she should divorce him bc unhaaaaaapy. I think she puts the kids against him to be honest. And that maybe she’s the one they should beware, not him.”
That is so sad!!!! Hopefully their eyes are finally opened when they become adults and can maybe see it from a different perspective. That happened with Judgey Bitch I think.
Way I see things our “culture” is heavily invested in producing good little boys who suck ass at being men so girls can get away with being terribly behaved brats.
But that’s just me
I will say it is a mistake to down play what being successful requires. Doing so breeds contempt in women on the home front. This was a common theme in my old line of work
@Stephanie: ““@ RP I get what you are saying but I really doubt this dad is doing so.”
I didn’t mean for the spotlight to be on maybe the dad was molesting the daughter.
The statistics show that girls who have a good relationship with their father generally become sexually active at a later age. Of course there are likely to be outliers in those studies – those who are extremely extroverted and/or produce more testosterone than a ‘normal’ girl does (without trying to define ‘normal’ production).
If this girl is not an outlier, then her sexual activity would indicate that she does not have a close relationship with her dad. Most likely because of what everyone is saying – her mother is driving him away. I was just speculating on some possible reasons for her doing that. Him being too friendly with daughter could be one reason. Her engaging in parental alientation “just because” could also be another.
We don’t have enough information to justify speculating about anything other than this: given the research that has been done on the age of first sexual activity, the statistics suggest that something unusual is going on here. Don’t know enough to say anything more than that.
“Way I see things our “culture” is heavily invested in producing good little boys who suck ass at being men so girls can get away with being terribly behaved brats.
But that’s just me
I will say it is a mistake to down play what being successful requires. Doing so breeds contempt in women on the home front. This was a common theme in my old line of work”
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Agreed with Ton.
Apparently CNN thinks that most men want to have their wives / girlfriends sleep by someone else though: https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/25/health/cuckolding-sex-kerner/index.html
This is just a barrel full of LOLs.
Seriously. Was that article accidentally released before April 1? I doubt that even ultra-progressives can take this seriously. It’s getting to be so insane.
@rp I would guess it’s due to the dysfunction at home w it being a competitive mom vs dad environment than dad is inappropriate, but I get what you are saying — something is the root of her early promiscuity. Sad. I truly think it’s a big middle finger of rebellion to her parents, due to acting out bc of the toxic dysfunction.
Also her older sister got pregnant on purpose w a guy she wasn’t even interested in a relationship w “just because.” Little sister got lost in that shuffle. And was likely influenced poorly by older sister (who truly is an idiot. Too stupid to even see how stupid she is, and I am saying that kindly.) Maybe it takes a crisis to get attention at home? This is also why mom put her on bc as a first response — damage control?
a dad – silly you for thinking the article you linked to was about heterosexual sex. “Everything” is supposed to be normal now – so doncha know they can write articles about homosexual stuff without needing to identify it as such. Cause sex is sex, and stuff.
Seriously, did you look at the link in the article you linked to? The results discussed in the article you linked to came from a stufy of homosexual activity.
Wow RP, I did not follow the links either!
But of course it’s CNN and you know you can trust them, right?
So tragic
Just going to throw out a real red pill here.
Being that we are all RP’d we all know that 80/20 is reality and that women are biologically geared to do exactly what the 14 year old girl is doing, and that her mom is HELPING her to do it subconsciously.
It doesn’t matter that she is, in our eyes, a “kiddo”. She’s acting out what her DNA tells her to do. No limits. Dad isn’t even part of the equation. He might as well be completely out of the picture. After all, mom is “unhaaaaaapy!” with her weak but reliable man. Mom helping out the daughter where she failed, to reproduce with the best available options that she could access. Sure, she subconsciously knows it’s morally wrong, but she doesn’t really do anything to stop it.
Female biological imperative is incompatible with the growth of western civilization. Women know that men are now too weak to control it, and now are seeking something else. Maybe this is just the way that civilization flushes everything down the toilet? Amazing that it all happened so fast though. It didn’t really take long to show that the legally enforced 1:1 ratio of men to women wasn’t working because ultimately the lesser-quality women would revolt when their options were limited when being forced into reproducing with the least viable options. After all, even the trolls want sex with the best guys.
That certainly doesn’t help from the perspective of evolution. You’ve either got civilization (men build because they have an incentive) or no civilization (women control and seek a welfare state where they want to fight for the best DNA for their children, and the weak men provide resources for them).
The increase in hypersexual 14 year-olds is probably indicative of a societal decline and further acceleration of this phenomenon. I get it. It probably seems too ludicrous to be true, but I don’t think that there are any other viable explanations of this. If we all discredit our animal nature in exchange for our humanity, it helps us to ignore the core problem.
So, ladies. Do you think that your gender is biologically geared to behave this way? In a way, answering “yes” would absolve you of the moral implications, because, after all, your own God made you this way and you simply can’t help yourselves. It’s almost as though older generations of women understood the ramifications of these actions, and kept it all under control through collective shaming attempts to maintain chastity. Now, there is no such thing and the more control that women have over Western society has effectively left the fox to guard the hen house. Such is the case of the mother with no shame over allowing her daughter to do what she is doing.
And before anyone tries to call me out on this, I could cite numerous articles that support this argument. Such as:
https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-reproductive-success
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dna-human-gene-pool
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/through-history-more-women-have-reproduced-men-180952840/
Comment awaiting moderation, but a few links provided to support the post.
@ A Dad: “The increase in hypersexual 14 year-olds is probably indicative of a societal decline and further acceleration of this phenomenon.”
Wikipedia: “The average age of first sexual intercourse in the United States is around 18 for males and around 17 for females, and this [average age] has been rising in recent years.”
From here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States
@ A Dad: “Being that we … all know that … women are biologically geared to do exactly what the 14 year old girl is doing …”
You are correct, but I’m not sure you understand exactly what it is that you have said.
Assuming that the statistics about the present father and the age of first sexual activity for daughters is correct, and it seems to be, 14-year-old girls actively seeking sex are doing what they are biologically programmed to do: get the male attention that they thrive under when that attention is positive, the male attention they should be getting from their father but are not, and instead use what works to get the attention of a different male.
It is not possible to do a double-blind test with the same people, but as a mental exercise we can. Imagine the same 14-year-old girl in two different situations. In the first, her father has always been a present and positive influence in her life. In the second, her father has been physically or emotionally absent, or physically close and molesting her. The statistics indicate that the 14-year-old in the first situation is not going to become sexually active until she is much older. The statistics indicate that the same 14-year-old, but in the second situation, is going to become sexually active as quickly as she can. A Dad, if you are correct that women are biologically geared to do what this 14-year-old is doing, you are making a case that biology demands a present and positive father. And if she doesn’t get it, biology is driving her to find that present and positive male attention through the use of her body. One of the most persistent admission in the manosphere about those riding the cock carousel is that the women are looking for the alpha that will stick with them. They are not looking to have 39 sexual relationships. They only end up there because the alpha’s don’t give them what they are actually after – the present and positive attention from dad that they were denied. The statistics indicate that those who get that present and positive attention from dad generally end up being useful partners with their husband in building a social structure worth living in.
I have recently been reminded of the truth of this by a comment that Elspeth made on her blog. While looking for something else, I inadvertently saw something presented by someone from my younger years that dovetailed with Elspeth’s comment. That sent me on a Facebook journey through many friends and acquaintences I had in the wheatfields of central Washington State. Many daughters of farmers that I knew, or knew of as a young man, now have Facebook pages with pictures of their own children, grandchildren – and in some cases – great grandchildren. And they are still with the man they married out of high school or college. In many cases, I knew their fathers. In other cases, I knew of their fathers. I saw that those fathers were present and positive (and growly on the order of Ton) in their daughters lives. And, in looking at their lives presented through Facebook, I can see what that positive presence reaped.
Caveat: note my stipulation in comments above that certain girls who are extroverted and/or high testosterone producers may become outliers who don’t conform to the norms discussed above. .
@A Dad: “I will say it is a mistake to down play what being successful requires.”
In the case of the daughters I referred to in the previous post, they had fathers where it was obvious what being successful required. Miles and miles of wheat fields that would produce nothing if their fathers didn’t do the right thing. Same with my time in Western Washington – pea crops, carrot crops, etc, or dairy cows. Nothing grows properly if dad doesn’t do the right stuff. And in doing the right stuff, “what being successful requires” is on full display.
Yeah I think y’all are way underestimating the levels of sexual desire in teenage girls. And it aint hard to lure a hetrosexual 14 year old young man into sex. Its like y’all are still operating under a blue pill fog. I would say being 14 and in a lonely, dysfunctional home explains all her troubles without suggesting her father is raping her.
Tldr/ way disappointed y’all would spend that much time calling the father a child rapist vs the more likely cause. As in much esteem has been lost
Yup RP, well behaved women are afraid of their fathers and afraid of disappointing their fathers.
‘Apparently CNN thinks that most men want to have their wives / girlfriends sleep by someone else though:’
I’ve said it before…female promiscuity is encouraged, supported, and celebrated by society. Nevermind the consequences it produces which are bad for everyone.
Have we figured out yet that sexual liberation is a lie…we are seeing it as sexual oppression.
Thanks for letting me know about the comment in moderation a dad, it’s free now 🙂 two or more links in a comment seems to cause this…
RichardP – I’m sure that we’ve all read that, statistically, young women are geared to seek out male protection if an adequate male figure is missing.
As for the stats from the Wikipedia article; Well, I’m not so sure that I put a lot of faith in it. Aside from the fact that people lie about sex (women tend to hide their sexual history and men like to exaggerate it), it also says that 70% of adolescents from 11-16 didn’t believe that oral sex disqualified them from virginity.
There’s a new post… https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2018/01/29/choose-to-follow/
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@Ton: “Tldr/ way disappointed y’all would spend that much time calling the father a child rapist …”
It sounds like you missed the parts where I and others agreed we don’t have enough information to leap to “child rapist”. It was simply pointed out as one among many – the primary thing being it seems like the mother is driving the father away from a productive relationship with his daughter. But even that it assuming facts not in evidence. Who knows whether he is capable of having a productive relationship with his daughter, even if wife was perfect.
Sexual desire in females is driven by hormones (testosterone) just as it is in guys, although girls have far less testosterone. Multiple studies have demonstrated that daughters enter puberty much earlier when mom has had a variety of men passing through the house. That is, biology plays a role in develpment, but environment also plays a role in that same development. My point above is one girl, growing up in two different environments, is going to turn out differently in each environment. So the internal sexual expression is shaped by genetics as well as the environment. Given that, I’m simply pointing out, in a necessarily superficial way, that there is a good bit of information about the development of sexuality that has been demonstrated through research but that has not found its way into conversations of this kind. That lack of diversity of information has led folks to some questionable conclusions.
Ton said “… I think y’all are way underestimating the levels of sexual desire in teenage girls. ” The reality is that there are several different pathways to that sexual desire, several different pathways to how early or late that desire develops, and several different pathways of acting on that desire (or not acting) when it develops. Those pathways are determined by what is external to the girl interacting with what is internal. Research has demonstrated that the external can and does influence how the internal develops. Same girl, same genetics, two different environments, is going to produce two different expressions of female sexuality. That has been observed. It is foolishness to believe that all girls get to the same spot at the same time for the same reasons, and respond to that development in the same way.
I’ve already stipulated above that I understand there are outliers. But, excluding those outliers, Ton and others would not find any of the girls I mentioned in my post above out riding the carousel and, for the most part, not even in bars. And if bars and carousel riders are what most alpha guys know, then they are not going to know these other girls even exist.
It’s an elephant Ton. I think you haven’t felt all of the elephant yet, to know what all of it is. And if by personal preference you choose to not ever go near what the trunk grows out of, you’re not ever going to know that the trunk is there. Not a criticism. Just an acknowledgement that you don’t know all the girls there are to know – simply because you and they exist in orbits that never cross.
@A Dad: “… I’m sure that we’ve all read that, statistically, young women are geared to seek out male protection if an adequate male figure is missing.”
Each one of my comments above was about something other than male protection. A male can protect anyone, even a female, without any emotional connection. The phrase “dad involved in daughter’s life in a positive way” is about something other than protection.
i knew a girl whose mother always assumed the worst of her and accused her of it. one day she decided if she was going to be punished for ‘it,’ she might as well do ‘it.’ so she became wild and didn’t look back.