It’s a controversial topic, submission, but one worth talking about more often because it’s so misunderstood.
When many people hear the word submission today, they often think oppression or abuse. But in reality it’s anything but.
True submission is a CHOICE, not something imposed or forced upon anyone. It’s the choice to follow, not lead.
And it’s not just a female-male thing. Men actually submit to recognizing a hierarchy and following the recognized leader all the time. In the military or at work, for example. Even in casual situations, an AMOG (Alpha man of the group) surfaces and the men all seem to intuitively know where they fit in the order. When they don’t, bad things can happen and AMOG may be established with posturing or even by physical force. Bar fights are an easy example of this.
Women are the ones who seem to struggle with the concept more. Women’s minds seem to function more in a “let’s all be on the same level and all have an equal say” way. This likely comes from a biological place, as in ancient times women most likely lived in villages with the young and the old and other women and things were always a collaboration/negotiation. This approach can be a strength, but not when it comes to recognizing leadership.
I have countless times observed women in a work setting, for example, not getting in step with or openly subverting their team leader or manager rather than recognizing who the leader is and choosing to follow direction. It can cause lots of problems when this happens.
The same can be said in a family. When there is no clear leader, there can be much chaos. The women I know who struggle most or are least happy in their marriages are often also fighting to have equal say or more often to be calling the shots.
If you had asked me in my youth, when I was blue pill, I likely would have argued that marriage should be 50/50 and all should have a say and so on. I believed that in my own marriage and many times actively went against my now ex-husband in decisions on finances or other matters. And you know what? Looking back I can see he was right and had I listened we (and I) would have been ahead had I gone along rather than fought for my own way. There were many cringeworthy moments.
For example, at one job I got 1000 stock options for $1 each. At one point they were worth over $100 each. My husband advised I cash out. I refused, believing it would go higher. Within a week they were at $45 a share. He advised I sell, as it was dropping fast. I refused. I held those darn options right down to $4 a share. To his credit he never rubbed that in my face. But how I wish I had just listened, chosen to follow. It was foolish pride on my part. I would have been far better off to listen. (Eventually after my divorce I sold them for around $12 a share. Later they finally went to up to $45 again. Sigh. But anyway…)
The above is just one example, but I have learned. In my current relationship I refuse to fight for the lead. I choose to follow. I choose someone I knew I could safely follow. He’s a good man and he’s made a lifetime of good choices. I trust his opinion and advice. I am smart but he’s much smarter. I recognize this and see going with it is in my advantage. He’s not forcing me to, in fact he’s always willing to hear me out, and still I am choosing to cede the lead. It’s working out really well. It’s by far the least drama relationship I’ve ever had, and I like it.
In short, choosing to follow can be a good thing and fighting the lead can be costly. It’s a mistake only YOU can choose not to make.
What do you think? Please share in the comments!
Horseman, I think men do need to get angry about the things women are saying now. Y’all do need to push back hard, raise your sons to have a strong frame that won’t accept that. Eventually there will be a societal reset, probably through war… but to prepare for that time, we need to be building the strongest men possible, who reject women unless they submit to his frame.
When it comes to women today they are in two camps.
They are either receptive or rebellious (to God, her legit male authority, etc). And you really don’t find that out until they are faced with some adversity…or something that pulls the mask off. I don’t even have to do much anymore to figure out what path she’s taking….
I think the only way men will get that strong frame back is a return to God and a strong fatherhood/brotherhood. War doesn’t have to be the answer…but if things don’t change a societal collapse is all but certain. This corrupt state won’t last forever and its power is on the last legs.
Horseman:
So when influential women pull this crap….
How is the average guy supposed to protect himself
And FUCKING TRUST Any Of You????
This entire #Metoo and #Timesup thing is endemic of the entire problem.
1) Women make more and more demands of men. “Do this. Stop doing that. Give us this. Don’t make us do that.”
2) Men either (a) capitulate and cave in; or (b) simply withdraw further and further away.
3) Women find another “problem” and make more demands. “Do this. Stop doing that. Give us this. Don’t make us do that.”
4) Men eventually have no more ground to give up, so they just withdraw completely. Or, they just refuse to give up any more ground, and women are either in their lives or not, on men’s terms.
More and more men are getting to 4), in my opinion. It’s not many, it’s still a small number, but it’s enough where people are noticing, I think.
If anything, this is laying bare why men and women are together in the first place.
When you get all the way down to it, men have women in their lives because they want them for sex. We very, very much want to have sex with them. Food, shelter, clothing and sex. Once the top three are met, men set about looking for a woman/women to have sex with.
Men need women for sex. That’s really all we need them for, but we do need them for that. Importantly, that’s a major reason how we got here and how women have gotten so many concessions. Whenever a woman makes a demand on a man, whenever a girlfriend starts putting conditions on things, whenever a wife harries a husband, the implied threat is
“give me what I want, or I am leaving and I will not have sex with you, I will stop having sex with you, and we both know it will take a long time for you to get someone else to have sex with you.”
And when you get all the way down to it, women keep men around for sex (sometimes), but mostly for companionship, provision and protection. That’s it. All of male-female interaction in the West over the past 100 years have been women’s efforts to reduce and neutralize men’s ability to withdraw provision and protection. It has all been a concerted effort to wrest money and resources from men, to increase women’s ability to get their own money and resources, and to remove men’s control over money and resources, so that women will not have to depend on men for those things. So men have a lot less power now than women do in terms of forming relationships and keeping them together.
Men have a lot of sexual power, and physical power. Another objective of #metoo and #timesup is to negate and neutralize those power advantages as well. Women will never have as much brute strength as men do; so they use law, culture and legal pressure to neutralize men’s last innate source of power. And it is also designed to dissuade, chill and deter more and more men from acting as the pursuer and initiator in sex and relationships. I had read somewhere that 1/3 of women now say that they feel sexually harassed when a (unattractive) man asks them out for drinks. They actually said this – when a (unattractive) man asks them out, it’s sexual harassment.
This isn’t good.
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