Tonight I was reading a blog post by a gal who is waiting for her devinely appointed other half to find her.
She seems like a genuinely great gal, has her head on straight, shows many signs of good wifely character. She’s attractive and well dressed. The images she posts of her home show a lovely tidy space. And she’s home on weekends with candles and a book rather than hitting all the party spots.
And yet I found myself thinking maybe she’s being a little bit passive about this. Especially as the third decade nears. Trust me, I do believe in the Devine, but I also believe God helps those who help themselves.
Gals today may not realize it yet, but thanks to lots of reasons, many men today aren’t even seeking marriage. By 30-some they have either seen too many marriages not work out, their own marriage didn’t work out, they have been burned by too many gals passing them over for the chance at a bigger fish, or they are that bigger fish and are too busy and too used to playing the game to settle down.
All this boils down to a gal understanding that she may need to bridge the gap. Let friends and family know she’s looking, make herself available at locations where marriage minded type guys might be, and to be friendly and open to guys who approach. And very key, instead of looking for reasons to rule guys out, she should start to look for the good things about the guys she does meet. Reasons to rule him in.
At the same time when she does meet a guy, she should be clear she’s marriage minded not just dating to date, conciously be displaying marriage qualities, wife qualities, how she potentially adds value. Don’t be one of those gals with lots of attitude and a “perfect guy” list of all he will do for HER a mile long.
From what I see, this gal would make a good candidate. I hope she still seeks heavenly guidance first and foremost, but also gets a bit more proactive in her search.
I’d link to her blog but I think better to not. That way it keeps the discussion general rather than about this particular gal herself.
What do you think? What advice would you give to a gal seeking marriage today? What’s a good game plan, if any? Please feel free to share in the comments!
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
@ Love I would agree w Earl that your way of saying that could be more clear. Be upfront that you are not dating just to date but are seeking marriage and kids. When the physical thing comes up after a few dates, it’s a great time to say something like, “I am very interested in you but I am not ready for that YET. And that you believe sex should wait until marriage, or something along those lines. At the same time be showing value in other ways, make dinner or cookies, be helpful, be available, etc. it’s hard when sex has pretty much become expected as part of dating but w guys who are seeking marriage I think having that boundary is going to be a plus. Guys who break it off were likely not looking for marriage.
and should go wo saying if after date 1 or 2, you have no interest in a guy beyond friends, don’t go on any more dates. only continue to date guys you’d consider marrying.
‘. However as I read more about red pill, I want to be more aware and compassionate for men. I understand it is so much more difficult for men in the dating scene. Hence why I don’t want to take advantage of their generosity and lead them on with hopes of sex. ‘
It’s not the casual sex that is the biggest problem (although it is a problem)…it’s the women’s attitudes and expectations. And I could probably add the unwarranted pressure you put on yourselves before anything has even happened. If you are learning even the faintest hint of empathy for what a guy has to go through…you are well on your way.
Women with crappy attitudes can give away sex easily and the guy won’t stick around…it’s the ones who have a good and pleasant attitude the guy wants to keep around.
Good girl Love. It’s unreal how many bitches date just to get free stuff. Which is why I put a $30 limit on the whole deal. She puts out before I spend $30 or next. $6 or under is ideal.
Ton – Your first post on the thread, spot on. Sometimes you surprise me how you can go from being total dick to zen master in a span of a few hours or less (I mean that in the most complimentary way).
As for yoga pants; They are misleading, which is why like 3/4 of women wear them now like 100% of the time. Kinda like a push-up bra. Holds everything together to make it look way better and more defined. Turns a 6 into a 7 sometimes, until you see it come off and it all falls apart. All of the 5s love them because they want to pretend like they aren’t 5s. And they all do it for attention, even if they pretend like they don’t Remember back when women used to actually dress beyond bum workout shit 24/7? They went from stockings to pantyhose to next to nothing but maybe a thong and yoga pants now.
I’m cool with a woman who is like a 7 without any of that BS, because she is comfortable without being fake. The 9s that need that stuff might really be a 7 or 8 underneath it all.
‘As for yoga pants; They are misleading, which is why like 3/4 of women wear them now like 100% of the time. Kinda like a push-up bra.’
I’ve thought the same thing…they’re the push-up bra for the butt.
If they earn it by squats, then I’m not as apt to think it’s fake.
@ A Dad; leggings and skinny jeans too. Serves the same function
In this here battle of the sexes, deception is all the only tool women have to fight with
Lol Ton we have even more tools now with technology. Photoshop, cropping, lights, angles, filters, and on and on.
Deception is the tool women use to try and control men.
Deception is the tool women use to try and control men.
just men? shoot, women use it to try to control everyone and everything!
a (single/frivorced/alpha-widow) woman in my family was giving her notice at a job. this was a 2nd job for a short period of time to build back up her savings acct. when she was writing her resignation letter she called me (not unusual as i’m good at writing). she ended up with her plan ‘c’ because plan ‘a’ didn’t work (plan a was the truth), plan ‘b’ had too many lies, but the lies in plan ‘c’ were ones she could live with. it wasn’t even worth my time to comment as she’s been a liar all her life. at least she acknowledged what she was doing was lying. totally made no sense to me b/c the truth was good. nothing in the truth reflected poorly on her at all. but she couldn’t go with the truth. she had to go with the lie.
i totally don’t get that.
i know, Ton, AWALT, so i must fit in there somewhere, but honestly, i don’t get that!
To be fair, a lot of guys are deceptive too. It’s just different. Those types of dudes pretend to be higher status to attract women, lie about their current relationship / marriage, children, etc.
True Dad but men also have other options to elevate their smp/ mmp value
I’m talking in the battle of the sexes realm.
There are many reasons for deception outside of that too.
Legit darling
“True Dad but men also have other options to elevate their smp/ mmp value”
——
I agree. Just getting into decent shape and learning not to be a pussy is almost enough of a start for most guys.
For women, looks and fertility are pretty much everything even though the hottest ones aren’t always the best to keep around. If she has a few useful skills and can actually be a benefit, rather than a burden, then that’s the icing on the cake.
Even guys in shape can still be pussies.
Learning to not be a pussy is probably the biggest thing most guys need.
I can’t count how many times I see a guy say ‘sorry’ to a lady for the most asinine of things. Sure if you royally screw up, do it…but not for mundane things like walking past each other.
I can’t count how many times I see a guy say ‘sorry’ to a lady for the most asinine of things.
and that makes a man weak in a woman’s eyes every.single.time whether she comprehends that it does or not.
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