Are you owning your life?
Its a deceptively easy question, yet one that can also strike to the core. Many today would prefer to blame others or circumstance than take ownership for life being less than they want.
Sure, some are born into more wealth, or a more stable family, the right connections, or have more smarts. But even these people eventually have to pick up the ball of life and run with it, or not.
So if the life you want isn’t the life you have, own it. Look within and identify what YOU can do to bring the two as close together as possible.
Maybe some fixes are as easy as spending a few hours, others may be lifelong projects. But they will never materialize without you owning them and taking the steps necessary to manifest them.
Wishing isn’t doing.
Maybe you will have to change habits, step out of your comfort zone, do and be things you never have before. It might seem easier to just stay the course. But it’s not.
Maybe you need to give yourself permission to actually have a good life? Maybe somehow you are holding back or don’t believe it’s possible? Maybe somehow you picked up the message that the good life is for others?
The big secret is in most cases it’s entirely possible, but only if you own it. Only if you do it rather than simply dream it.
Sure there will be setbacks and struggles. Don’t read them as signs you are failing, read them as growing pains, teachable moments, and lessons learned.
In the end it’s your life. Your work of art. Your short span on this spinning ball. No matter what has happened up until now, the future is not yet written.
Own it! Make it yours. Make it a tale of triumph!
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Reblogged this on Just another voice and commented:
Very useful advice that everyone should read!
I don’t know if you were implying this…but I’ll present this as a retort.
‘Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.’
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
When it comes to your life and ‘owning it’…you can’t forget God’s involvement in it and that we should live to follow His will.
Three levels of reality:
1. What is.
2. What is perceived.
3. Problems created by discrepancies between Points 1 and 2.
We can’t really do much about Point 1. Our best bet at changing anything is to improve our knowledge, skilils, and abilities regarding Point 2.
A useful meme: The future hasn’t happened yet; it’s ours to invent. But the quality of our inventions is tied directly to the knowledge, skills, and abilities we have. Start there.
Attribution Theory
Learned Helplessness
Thanks for the reblog! Carpe diem! 🙂
Indeed Earl, thank you for adding that! I pray for the strength, wisdom, courage, etc. to do this daily. pkug into the true power source, higher power, for sure!
Absolutely Richard! Thank you for adding that. It’s not simply desire, but knowledge, skills, ability, and action, that make things so. Learned helplessness — yes, such a good think to self examine for. We often limit ourselves w our thinking far more than any outside factor does.
You are what you do.
To most of the people in the world, you are ONLY what you do. A few may care what you think, but not many and not for long.
If you want to be a different person or have a different life, just consistently do different things.
In the end, you are the sum total of what you did in life.
There’s another side to this: Calories never lie. The more calories someone expends doing something, the more they mean it. A thought takes very few calories, saying something a few more, doing something and doing something repeatedly, sucks up a lot of energy. People do what they mean. They do who they are.
Also we all have natural limitations, so doing what’s possible wi what’s possible is also owning it. Thanks to a recent shoulder injury, certain activities are now out permanently for me. Luckily nothing deal breaking, but part of owning it is accepting and adapting to limitations as much as possibilities.
And then there’s perspective. I was feeling super defeated by my injury until I went to physical therapy and saw others who have much more to overcome putting their all in. In one moment my whole perspective. changed!
Ironically, the simple phrase “own it” is the antithesis of modern feminism and progressivism.
Feminists try turning being a victim into a virtue.
I love this article! So positive and true ❤
I have a new co-worker. Great young guy. Early 20s, very smart, hard worker, and so motivated. He has such uplifting energy. We were talking, and he shared his love for cooking. Makes everything from scratch. Talented all around. He said that he was raised by a single mom so he knows how to do everything domestically … And has learned everything about women so is compassionate for them. He said whomever he marries will be spoiled because he will do the cooking, cleaning and laundry. He is very sweet and his statement worried me. I hope he chooses well because some women would take advantage of his nurturing nature and they might not appreciate him. I told him to allow his partner to at least do half. Otherwise it is unfair for him. Given that I’m a female I can’t school or lecture him. Any advice I should give him?
Tell him to get a copy of Bob Lewis’ The Feminist Lie and have him read that before he makes any life changing decisions in regards to his relations with women.
yes 🙂
Thank you George. I do have to be careful in my statements given that we are co-workers and I do not want to offend him. Maybe I will ask him if he recommends any books and I will then suggest yours.
Whether he marries or not, best of luck to him, it is after all his decision:
😉
I wonder if Cristina Garcia has decided to “own it”?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/02/09/california-lawmaker-behind-metoo-push-is-accused-of-groping-male-staffer/?utm_term=.815ba8bd962f
‘Any advice I should give him?’
Find male role models.
His mother raised a good woman.
Love – Not sure that there is much you can do for the guy. He’s operating off of what he’s been told rather than his gut instincts about life. I’d say it’s pretty normal for guys to be like him these days. He wants to think that he’s some unicorn, but just a guy who’s been programmed to be subservient and accommodating to women. Sorta acting as a surrogate husband for his single mom. She’s leached off of him for her own benefit and turned him into what he is, and he’s waiting to be rescued by the next woman who will take him away from mom.
Not every guy starts out so passive but many become that way anyway. Case in point, I got to be fairly passive just out of being in a marriage for so many years. My ex was attracted to the old me, but not the accommodating “nice guy” I’d become after I was a dad. After a while, I was also doing all of the cooking and cleaning and raising the kiddo and bringing in the money. What kind of life is that to just be married to someone who uses you and never gives back? I don’t think it is completely wrong, provided that you are with someone who won’t take advantage of you, but that’s completely unlikely. Some people just can’t help but to take more than they give. Some people just cannot be empathetic unless they have something to gain from it.
I’m back to being independent, care free, and sorta have an “f-you” attitude towards the people that don’t bring any value into the world around me. Not saying that guys should be jerks; Just not a doormat. He’s going to have to just crash hard if he’s going to see it another way, and it might not be good for him. He might either get exploited, bitter, checked out, or some combination of these things. Or else it will liberate him and he will become better at being a man out of the whole endeavor.
If you told him anything else, it would completely contradict the things that his mother has taught him, because she has ultimately used him for her own personal gain. It’s sad, and sick, but true.
Sounds like he is into you, to be honest. He’s just throwing out a statement about how he’d be a great catch to see if he can get a bite, but I think that the opposite is really true. Some woman will latch onto him but I don’t think it’s going to be good for him. He sounds a bit needy, maybe he expects that a woman can love him the way that he wants to be loved, but it’s not likely that this could happen.
…….. He said that he was raised by a single mom so he knows how to do everything domestically … And has learned everything about women so is compassionate for them. He said whomever he marries will be spoiled because he will do the cooking, cleaning and laundry……..
He’s fucked. Or unfucked depending on how you view things.
Thank you. I felt like a ‘big sister’ towards him hoping I could motivate him not to advertise his domestic skills in order to find a mate. He has even purchased a house so he is definitely a great opportunity for any woman looking for a ‘working wife’. A Dad, you’re absolutely right, there are far more takers in this world and the chances that he’ll attract a user are high. As you said, he may be looking for another mother figure to run him.
Tell him to get punched in the face a couple dozen times, get a tattoo or 2 and a bike. That will help off set “bitch” tattooed across his forehead
Lol Ton. I couldn’t do that. I would attempt to sugar coat and soften the message. I guess that’s why women shouldn’t give men advice.
‘ I felt like a ‘big sister’ towards him…’
ANDDDDDDDDDD that’s reason #1 why a guy shouldn’t broadcast those skills.
@ A Dad; I take that as a “No.” I would be very surprised if she did.
*own it
I expect nothing is going to happen to her, while #metoo and #timesup keeps the witch hunt going for men everywhere.
“He’s fucked. Or unfucked depending on how you view things.”
———–
Both.
“Thank you. I felt like a ‘big sister’ towards him hoping I could motivate him not to advertise his domestic skills in order to find a mate. ”
——————-
You already friend zoned him. What’s that say? You are looking for a great guy. He is looking for a great girl. Clearly incompatible in spite of this.
GLA – Cristina Garcia has stopped her daily #MeToo BS propaganda, so apparently the allegations have done something.
Total phony. Apparently gets fuckered drunk and grabs random dicks while proclaiming female victimhood is the norm. Puts up Twitter photo that tries to make her look like she’s not a solid 3. No wonder she’s grabbing strange dicks for attention and then complaining about it. Got no substance to back it up.
She’s the liberal norm now. Guh. I’d #MeToo as well if she was grab-assing and reaching for my junk. She’s like girly Weinstein.
Love – The last think I’d want, as a man, is a big sister. That would mean that I failed at being a man. 😉
A big brother maybe but that’s why we have Uncle Ton.
Gosh now I feel bad. He is definitely not a failure. I am older than him so maybe why I feel like a big sis. Perhaps I felt protective in that he’s a great guy yet he’s advertising the wrong things. I don’t need a wife. I rather be the one doing the domestic stuff.
It’s what happens when a boy doesn’t have a father, father figure, or some male influence in his life. The single mother turns him into the perfect wife.
Love – You must be sweet as can be if you feel that way. Why feel bad? You didn’t do anything to him. The dude is young and just doesn’t get it yet because he’s picked up a lot of misinformation. Part of it is just going to be experience and learning to be a man.
At any rate, every man should know how to cook because there it no guarantee that anyone else can do it for him. But to do it just to land a woman is a bit misguided.
I actually cook pretty well and my son says that my cooking is better than his mom’s but I tell him not to let his mom know that because she takes her cooking pretty seriously. She just likes to try all sorts of crazy recipes. Not that they are bad; Just gets too carried away. Kinda like Ton said about the trained chef that he dated.
He’s working the blue pill script hard, the perfect male according to today’s norms. Chore play! Except that the visceral female reaction is either motherly, sisterly, or friendly but not, “wow, that’s so hot!” But he’s been taught or picked up somehow the misinfo that’s what women want. Not those bad boys! But….
@ love if you don’t mind me asking how much older than him are you?
I’m going to say…. About 10 years, give or take 2. I think that he’s OK with the age difference and is reaching out. She, not so much. Clearly friend zoned and that’s OK. Nothing wrong with being selective about finding the right sort of guy.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/02/14/sotu-mens-ambivalence/
5 years
Doh! I fail.
Though 5 years isn’t too bad. As a guy I’d be looking for half+7 rule, so he’s probably like a baby for you in your 20’s.
I don’t know if women have the half +7 rule.
I think most prefer the man be older.
And even if they don’t…I prefer the woman to be younger.
They don’t have the half+7 rule. That’s a man’s thing. Women don’t want to take care of a baby. They want a guy who is established and can handle his own.
It’s the currency of sex. Money and power vs youth and fertility. It’s proportionate to age, so normally a woman in her mid-late 20’s might be best paired with a guy in his ’30s. Not always, but most of the time. It sounds like Love has said that she wants to meet a guy who can, at the very least, support a family. I think that is a normal requirement for many women.
The problem is greater because a lot of Millennial men are kinda not making it out of their mom’s basements these days. At least this guy has his own place.
I do prefer the man to be older. Also since I work with him, it is already a no-no. But he is a good man for being so motivated and career driven at a young age. I’m happy to be reading about red pill because I would never have been alarmed by his words in the past. Yet now I can see how his desire to be domesticated and serve a woman can burn him in the future. I was hoping I could give him some advice but sounds like he has to learn on his own.
I think it’s different when people marry young. I married young. Stephanie says that she married out of college or something like that. Takes several years to get established but I think that being married fairly young is a strong motivator.
What sorts of guys are you meeting when you date? Less motivated or successful than even this guy? I only know what I’ve been reading, and that it’s harder for women in their 20’s and 30s today to find a suitable guy.
When I mean that I married young; Same woman I dated within a few years of graduating high school. I didn’t marry right after high school, but I was probably 19-20 when we met. We were together through college to the point of becoming fairly well established.
Every man I’ve gone on a date with has been educated and established in their career. Some single never married. Some divorced with kids. Some perhaps still married (lol yes their ‘single’ status was questionable). All of them were happy in their careers and loved their jobs. The divorced ones did talk about taking a big hit financially. They were the ones most hesitant to marry again.
On the age thing… it just seems to work better if the man is older. I’m sure there are exceptions to that rule of thumb, but if a man is going to be a leader, adviser, planner etc. it’s nice for him to have more experience and wisdom than his wife so that she can trust following him.
I know for me any man younger or even MY OWN AGE I only see as a son or younger brother. But usually as a son – probably since I have boys lol.
Just last night I had to attend the board meeting where they swore me in like an induction kind of thing with my husband… and I was sitting next to one of our City Councilmen and he was joking with me that his wife ran the household and that she made all the important decisions, etc. He was so charismatic, like those types are, but it pained me inside that he was like admitting he was controlled by his wife! And this… a pretty powerful, well-off man! He couldn’t believe that I got married so young and had already had 3 kids and that we were hoping to get pregnant again soonish.
‘I know for me any man younger or even MY OWN AGE I only see as a son or younger brother. But usually as a son – probably since I have boys lol.’
That’s why I wouldn’t date a woman older than me anymore. I did it once…and I still broke it off. The woman seeing the guy like a mother-son relationship is real.
Now there is also plenty of marriages where it is like that already too. If the woman is leading the marriage she treats her husband more like a son than the head…and I’d think emotionally she doesn’t want an Oedipus type marriage.
You already friend zoned him. What’s that say? You are looking for a great guy. He is looking for a great girl. Clearly incompatible in spite of this.
……
Of course Love friend zoned him. She already has one pussy in her life and she ain’t looking for a second one…. Or is she…..
lol! what would i do without my daily dose of Ton Perspective?!!!
Ton, I ❤ my own enough that I don’t need another one.
Too many people rely on relinquishing responsibility from themselves, instead opting to place blame. It’s good to see that there’s one more soul out there that says “Work for it!”