Tags
drama, dysfunctional, functional, happiness, Healthy, personal growth, red pill, self actualizing
Much of life is a series of choices. When presented between the healthy card or not, choose the healthy card.
For example, in relationships one can choose to be emotionally healthy, regulated, supportive, and kind or one can choose to be drama driven, off the chain, unsupportive, and hurtful. One can also in turn choose or refuse these behavior traits from a potential partner.
The same goes for friendships, co-worker relations, relatives, and others. If or when things get hard, one can still choose the healthy card by refusing to participate in unhealthy, dysfunctional dynamics. Somebody choosing healthy often stops the unhealthy, or at least leads the person who won’t choose healthy to take it elsewhere.
If you have trouble choosing the healthy card, it’s something to explore, perhaps with a trained professional. Dysfunctional, unhealthy, or abusive patterns in adulthood often stem from similar ones in childhood. One may have had little choice then, but as an adult one can choose to not haunt themself or others with ghosts from the past. It takes work, persistence, and self knowledge but it is well worth the effort.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Just as Stefan said “Hope is not a strategy”
Also “Apathy is not a choice”
Many of these situations devolve from first appearances. So you were honestly mistaken. But then in light of the devolving situation you did…..Nothing.
“There was nothing I could do…..”
“I thought maybe….”
“I just couldnt…”
Blooms article repeatedly says “you can choose…”
If one actually CHOOSES!!
P.s. not choosing to me is like the person in all the bad movies.
Three doors and a window in the room but their fear drives them into the only corner in the room.
The road of life is paved with
Flat squirrels who
Couldn’t decide.
Bloom “one may have had little choice then, but as an adult one can choose to not haunt themself or others with ghosts from the past.”
You have 18 years as a choiceless, powerless child.
After that you are your own parent unless you abdicate your life to another.
So by 36 you have been away from your childhood, shaped by an equal number of events for as long as you were a child.
So why are you still a helpless, undecisive, fearful child?
‘Many of these situations devolve from first appearances. So you were honestly mistaken. But then in light of the devolving situation you did…..Nothing.’
It’s amazing how superficially driven a lot of people are in relationships.
Sure he or she is crazy, destructive and worse than poision to your health…but he or she is ‘hawt’ and has good loin gymnastics.
What would help is the changing the general thought that ‘tingles’ and excitement comes from only doing unhealthy or ungodly things. Sexing a cad, blowing up a family, drinking or drugging until you blackout, going to dank clubs where you can’t hear anything…these things will slam you headfirst into the wall. I’m sure these lifestyles either bring on or exacerbate all these mental disorders.
You can get ‘tingles’ and excitement from living a holy and healthy life. They might not be as often as going the destructive route but they are often better because you work for them and earn them…and they last over time.
@mgtowhorseman said, “I would like to hear Bloom or Ame or Steph or any of the women lurkers impression of the Moleneux video.”
Well, that would be nice. But instead you are going to get yet another man’s perspective. To me the question is at what point are we going to call out failure. American womanhood is a failure. What’s more, Western womanhood is a failure. We need to be calling women out for the failures that they are. Since I was raised in a blue pill haze, I could not see the failure until recently. Take my mother (please). Her narrative up until the age of 68 was that she was a strong independent Baby-Boomer woman who had been failed by American men. She finally admitted that she was never relationship material. Today I tell my mother—or I would tell my mother if we were ever to speak to each other again—the following: She is a disgrace to feminism; she is a disgrace to motherhood; and she is a disgrace to womanhood.
Let me tell you about the my last relationship. Looking through the blue haze she seemed like a smashing success. After college she had gone on to medical school, married a fellow medical student who went on to become an emergency room doctor, became a pediatrician, and had four beautiful daughters. She divorced her husband after seventeen years of marriage. Her narrative was that her husband had never been too emotionally healthy and that emergency room doctors are all crazy anyway. When I reconnected with her at our 25th college reunion, she had been divorced for a year and a half. I thought that I’d died and gone to heaven.
Fast forward through the idealization/devaluation/discard cycle of the woman with narcissistic personality disorder. I said, “Wait. If you cannot handle a guy who is everything that he is supposed to be and does everything that he is supposed to do and lives a hundred miles away, then what ever made you qualified to be the wife of an emergency room doctor?” If she couldn’t figure out how to deal with me, she never loved that poor guy. He never had a chance. She saddled him with four children and divorced him at the moment it was convenient. If a woman isn’t relationship material, she isn’t wife material. If she isn’t wife material, she isn’t mother material. She is a disgrace to feminism; she is a disgrace to motherhood; and she is a disgrace to womanhood. She messed up her life, her ex-husband’s life, and the lives of her four daughters who struggle with emotional problems.
So the thirty-two-year-old Swedish female doctor that Moleneux is interviewing is not a woman whose life story is could potentially turn out poorly. She is a failure now. Right now she is a disgrace to feminism; she is a disgrace to motherhood; and she is a disgrace to womanhood. We need to start calling this out. Moleneux recognizes this too. He was just toying with her for the purpose of delivering an entertaining radio interview.
@ Roger Blakely; she is not a disgrace to feminism, she is actually quite the champion of it. You say, “disgrace to feminism” like feminism is some kind of a virtue? Under feminism she did exactly what she was supposed to do. Grade A product of feminism. I think you mean to say she is a disgrace to femininity. Femininity does not equal feminism.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
It takes work, persistence, and self knowledge but it is well worth the effort.
truth.
I chose the healthy card. I was playing a decent game too. Then there was this bakery that makes cheese cake from scratch, and one thing lead to another…
@roger Blakey very insightful! And a great first hand example. Women want to both claim power and victim hood. And somehow feminism backs that up. If women can handle it they must take ownership, if not take leadership. Somehow the obvious escapes even women who are apparently highly capable and educated, like doctors!
Good point gla. I was also once a “good little feminist” achieving much career wise. But everything comes at a price. They don’t tell girls that. Instead they tell them, “you can have it ALL and all at once.” Total bs.
@ jdg a little cheesecake now and then is not a bad thing. Everything in moderation. Healthy might be enjoying every bite of that cheesecake and then eating light otherwise and going for a nice stroll. 🙂
You can’t have it all as a feminist…if you choose that path you sacrifice your femininity, womanhood, and motherhood. All for what…to try to be something you’re not?
I don’t look at a woman having a career automatically meaning she’s a feminist…it’s if she’s using that career to sacrifice her femininity (or she hates it), and her role as a mother is where she’s a feminist.
RPG I’ve been informed by a Youtube video that sugar makes insulin and insulin causes the body to store fat for 48 hours instead of burn it (or something like that). If that’s the case I may as well eat the whole cheese cake in one sitting and than wait two days before eating anything else.
But in case anyone was was wondering, cheesecake made from scratch is extremely delicious. It may not be as important to our society as sammiches, but wow what a difference.
Reflecting on Earl’s 12:25 pm comment, I differentiate between having a career and having a job to make ends meet. On this I tend to agree with Mr. Jordan Peterson that very few people have a career. A career will usually take all of your time and energy in order to be successful, and not many folks will make that sacrifice for the long hall.
It’s quite obvious from the choices women make and from biology itself that women in general are better suited to be “worker’s at home” (as the Bible says) rather than in male work places which then must be softened up for them.
In addition, genuine Christian teaching is that the woman was made for the man (1 Cor 11:9) as a helper for him (Gen 2:18), therefore any course a married Christian woman takes should be in the direction of helping her husband.
If that requires her working some to help with whatever the overall strategy for the household is, then she should work. The end goal is to help her husband. If the strategy requires she remain at home full time, then she should remain at home. The end goal is to help her husband.
So, for Christians that take the teachings in the Bible seriously (in context and without ignoring the parts they disagree with), the path really is quite clear. Furthermore, I believe that even non-Christian women will benefit from following the pattern described above.
A new post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/03/18/just-say-no/
@JDG
I’ve continued to say a woman can either have control or a man (husband) but she can’t have both.
Feminism gives them that illusion of control…and it sacrifices men in their life to do it.
Earl I can’t argue with logic and good sense.
Did the thirty-two-year-old Swedish female doctor that Moleneux is interviewed consider no one wants her after she became a race traitor? Who the fuck wants sloppy seconds of a goat rapist
I have been talking with women around me about the issue of my doctor ex-girlfriend not meeting the needs of her emergency-room-doctor ex-husband. This issue was brought up by Stefan Molyneux in the Youtube video from the last post when he was talking to the 32-year-old Swedish doctor about her problems with finding a husband. Molyneux was pointing out to the female doctor that her hypothetical husband had a list of things that he needed in a wife. The doctor’s medical degree and career were not on the list.
Every woman around me expressed disdain for the concept that my doctor ex-girlfriend was never qualified to be the wife of an emergency room doctor. The experience has been eye-opening for me. I now understand at a deeper level that I am surrounded by toxic womanhood. No wonder the concept of a man getting what he needs out of a relationship with a woman has seemed so foreign to me up until now.
To satisfy their hypergamous instincts women want a man with a high-powered career. The more of a high-powered career that she has, the more she demands that her mate has an even more high-powered career. These women never stop to ask what kind of support person their high-powered-career husband would need. Women will shame and belittle a high-powered-career man for demanding in a wife what he actually needs as a support person. High-powered-career women could do the same thing, but that would go against their hypergamous instincts. So what you end up having, because women demand it, is a marriage between two high-powered-career people where neither of them gets their needs met.
The point is that American womanhood is so toxic and has so failed that American women cannot figure this out.
At my thirty-year high school reunion I was talking to a classmate who had gone on to become a doctor. Her husband was an accountant. Her husband was the one who throttled down on his career to take care of the child and the household. She said this to me with a hint of disappointment in her voice. I said, “Duh. How else was it going to work?” It’s that hint of disappointment that’s so toxic and destructive. WTF, bitch. Grow up.
I give up on American women. Now I am working on ridding my life of toxic womanhood.
Womanhood is toxic in America because they are trying to be men.
If she mentions that I can do (blank) just as well (or better) than a man…there’s the toxic thinking.
It’s not a competition ladies…it’s a complementation.
Roger Blakely, you are absolutely correct. i have not been able to watch that video yet, but the concept of no one being home to manage the home is totally lost in our culture.
i’ve noticed that a lot of women who have careers also have mothers or mil’s who fill in that role for them. i have a friend who goes over to her daughter’s house everyday to watch her three kids while daughter works from home in a home office. daughter’s husband is a high school teacher, so he doesn’t make a lot, relatively speaking, but they live in a beautiful new home – not inexpensive. they can do this b/c the wife’s mom fills in the home management role – raising the kids, cooking meals, tending to the home. wife’s parents also watch the children so the couple can go out on dates.
if there’s no mother or mil, then that whole role becomes an unfilled vacuum.
someone needs to tend to and nurture the marriage, the home, the family. if no one does, it withers and dies.
Is this true?
Do unattractive women want to sabotage healthy women so badly that they undermine their own cause?
Oh sorry, retorical question.
women sabotage women. they always have.
@ roger blanket, it’s the flip of the male blue pill — the more women try to work the “you can have it all, and all right now” script, the more it fails them and all that actually matters. Mostly they only see this way too late, if at all. It’s lose-lose. Nobody wins w the blue pill script. And yet somehow the obvious escapes most…
Absolutely Ame! I should write a post on that. So true.
Again so true Ame re women sabatoging women. It’s not only limited to women sabatoging men by any means. Crabs in a bucket they can be.