Have you ever stopped to conciously think about your self talk? You know the voice inside your head commenting on your choices, actions, successes, and failures?
Most people probably don’t stop to think about what they are saying to themselves, but it’s well worth doing because self talk is powerful stuff.
Self talk seems to have a personality of its own almost. It can be stern, critical, and unforgiving, or it can be bewildered, unsure, and confused, or it can be spiteful, bitter, and angry, or it can be melencholy, sad, and discouraged, or it can be joyful, lighthearted, and fun, or it can be kind, encouraging, and supportive.
The good thing about becoming aware of one’s self talk is it allows you to then ask if your self talk is working for you or against you. You can change that self talk, start to direct it, rather than let it simply run wild.
Today take note of your self talk, Ask yourself if it sounds more like a friend or a foe. If you don’t like what you are hearing, make it a priority to train your self talk in a better direction.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
🙂 even successful people need positive self talk.
Also, a good book to read when feeling down is Choose Yourself by James Altucher.
There is a Toaist practice…listen to the wind.
(Not meditate. Meditation is ignoring, emptying.)
Go out on a hilltop or any other place and just listen to the wind for half an hour.
“The wind will bring you the truth.”
Really it is a way of listening to that inner voice. Having nothing to hear but the randomness of the wind brings the voice forward to hear.
And not advice, the voice is often self defeating, neurotic, afraid, boastful.
But it is True. It is your True Self talking.
“Ride the truth as a bird rides the wind.”
The second part is deal with what you hear.
A bird is not tossed aimlessly before the wind. The ride it, or fly against it, or roost until it blows favorably. They us the wind, master the wind.
Just as one must master the quiet but incistent voices in their head.
(Or just tell it to Shut Up and Fuck Off as Ton does.)
One day a week I do this. Randomly. Sometimes a gale, sometimes calm, it just depends. But if I don’t do it for a while I can literally feel the doubts, anger, melancholy build.
So I sit in a chair in the yard just listening.
Self talk and mental rehearsals are big deals in my circles.
I do talk to myself and sometimes I also have my inner voice talking to me. Since I was little, I imagined it like a little guy on my shoulder, with name Ginny (I don’t know why…). And yeah, most often Ginny gets annoying, blaming me for something or reminding me something. Of course, it is not a real voice, and just part of myself. It is important to listen to it, because who can know you better, than yourself?
no, I don’t do that anymore. I always lose those arguments…
I’d be in trouble if I let my inner voice outside all the time.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/letting-it-go/
gla very true, success does not mean no need for positive self talk, sustaining success or taking it higher likely requires it all the more!
Horseman I like it, I will be wind listening from here on! 🙂
Horseman – that is very interesting. in the Bible God often uses the wind to show His mighty power.
Ton – how so?
FNU and Ash – LOL!
Just so nobody worries, I am away for a week and may not have WiFi. See you all on the other side of a much needed vacay,,,
Think you can do that without mentally rehearsing and lots of self talk driving you past the pain, fear and self doubt?
no, I wouldn’t. but then I also wouldn’t presume to know what a man is thinking or how he motivates himself.
it is logical in my female brain, though 😉
but then I also wouldn’t presume to know what a man is thinking or how he motivates himself
……..
Good girl darling
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/04/01/a-rare-bird-indeed/
One of The most referenced, talked about pieces in the Manosphere after Rollos chart.
1 read it and not be horrified.
2 read it and see the brutal truth in it
3 read it and try to buy into her justifications.
Bonus: try to refute it without relying on. NAWALT.
Ps. NAWALT is bullshit. So what if 1 woman is not like that?
The true question is TAWILT
The Average Woman Is Like That.
‘Bonus: try to refute it without relying on. NAWALT.’
This won’t be a refute…I think it points out how we are under the consequences of the fall of man given to us by God, but we try to find ways out of it.
For example…men try to figure out how to make work easier. Just because it’s easier doesn’t mean it’s better in the long run. You have to sweat to earn bread. And bread can mean more things than just money or food….(muscle, emotional stability, experience-wisdom, etc.)
Women try to figure out how to get out of being under their husband’s authority…either by leaving, trying to get under another man’s authority, or wearing the pants in the marriage.
We are all capable of that.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/04/03/lean-in-lean-out/
If having full-blown philosophical conversations with my dog counts as Self Talk, then I guess I am definitely guilty of it … /s
There is anew post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/04/05/swst-suffrage/
From http://savingeve.net/risk-taking-as-love/
‘Being a loving husband is NOT about doing chores or being chivalrous. Being a loving husband is about taking the necessary risks that she is too afraid or unable to take herself. And you protect her from the downside of those risks by taking it upon yourself.’
Mic drop on behalf of eve.
Close up shop Bloom, explanation found. Done.
LOL really? Because that sounds like pure beta bullshit to me
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/04/07/dont-judge-me/
RPG,
t has been a while since we last heard from you. Should we be worried? If all is well, please let us know.
Hello again! I am back and recovering from jet lag! 🙂 It was an amazing trip, and at the same time it’s so good to be home!
Yay Bloom!
I was really wondering about your thoughts on this!!
Hi Stephanie, it’s a tricky subject bc it’s possible some grad thots are in it for the attention while others truly are trying to inflence other women to abandon the emptiness of today’s thinking. I wish I had someone explain these things to me when I was young, there were few women then and even now telling young girls, “It’s better not to go down that empty path.” So I guess i’d Say I can see both sides, some gals probably are in it for the wrong reasons (fame, attention, being popular, etc.) and others are just trying to push back on the crazy.
What do you think?
I think you’re probably right. I liked how this woman viewed it though. And it was sad to me that Roosh sounds even more unhappy.
RPG,
Glad to know that all is well. I can go back to lurking in good conscience.
Stephanie,
I can understand why Roosh has turned cynical. He has seen too much. As for “traditional women”, there are too few and they can only benefit one man, their husband.
It seems to me Roosh is fighting his own personal demons. His quotes are about what I would expect from him. He has written things that make me suspect he regrets some of the direction he took and maybe wishes now for something more traditional but after all he’s seen and done he himself admits that even if he found it he’s not sure he could do it now. At least he’s honest w himself about that. Last I read he seemed to have accepted that a traditional family life really isn’t in the cards for him and turned his focus toward helping build other men up (rather than encouraging them to focus just on scoring, as he previously did and now seems to regret as emptiness.)
Its tricky to be a woman in the manosphere. Ones motivations and sincerity will always be questioned. It’s par for the course. A gal’s bring respectful and not taking things personal or demanding inclusion and accommodation in all male spaces helps, as does having thick skin when “AWALT” gets thrown around.
And as you have seen, sometimes it the other women being hard on the gals even more so than the men! Ironically…
There are those who have ears, who can learn from reading/hearing about the experiences of others. Others won’t learn from anything except their own experiences. Guess which group of learners end up wasting the most time.
Scott has recently been talking about what draws him to the Orthodox side of things. I think the words below speak to why that drawing is there for Scott and others. Orthodoxy is not the only group that can provide what Roosh has come to value. Any group with family continuity and young ones with ears to hear can accomplish something similar.
From here: (Roosh talking)
http://www.rooshv.com/why-its-folly-to-design-your-own-lifestyle
In my mid 20’s I bought the idea that I could create my own lifestyle from scratch, not based on consultations from wise men or guidance from church and family, but from my own desires. …
I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s quite arrogant for one man to think that he can ignore human nature and wisdom from men long gone to think he will find the one way that provides the most joy and entertainment for him, and that he will be able to evaluate all the multitude of ways to live, the thousands of foods to eat, the hundreds of countries to live in, and the millions of girls available to date in order to spit out the one correct answer for him that is the most optimal. It’s quite impossible, and I know this because I’ve tried. …
You’re set up to fail the second you believe that a certain lifestyle will make you happy, because you don’t have the genetic wiring or ability to determine which lifestyle is best based out of the billions of combinations available, and even if you did, you’d likely adapt to it and see diminishing value over time. Therefore, the pursuit of an optimal lifestyle is a foolhardy endeavor that will not give you as much long-term satisfaction as you believe. …
… if I had the meaning in my life that my grandfathers had, I wouldn’t have thought that traveling the world and banging hoes would have benefited me. But us men don’t have what our ancestors had, so we think achieving such a lifestyle will benefit us. We fantasize and hope that future trips, women, and money will complete us and make us feel that we’ve arrived, but it rarely does, and all we can do is wonder why.
Proving the point of this cliche: “Remember that, no matter where you go, there YOU are.”
It is the “you” that needs to be grounded and centered and comfortable in your own skin, so that you are basically comfortable in your own skin now matter where you find yourself (geographic-wise or situation-wise). The traditional way of becoming grounded and comfortable in your own skin was being part of an extended family with oldsters who shared their wisdom with the young, and young who paid attention (more or less) to the oldsters. The proverbial “it takes a village … ”
But that requires an audience that is willing to learn from others, that is not intent on learning only from their own experiences.
Richard – i find all that very interesting … and confounding … and even frustrating sometimes. the bible talks about the personalities of people even in the womb and how those personalities will affect their lives – and this frustrates me.
there are those who are hell-bent on finding a different way, and there are those who are content with what is. both are needed, and both need to learn to manage who they are … and that often comes from wisdom … and wisdom, while given by God to all who ask, is often also learned from experience.
in my 50’s now, i have a bit clearer picture of the cycles of life, and really, humanity hasn’t changed much, and God has never changed. the bible is still real and relevant and necessary. when we are young we struggle with containing all our energy and dreams in a manageable way that benefits us and society. when we’re older we struggle with complacency and wondering why try at all b/c it’s all going to end up the same anyway.
when i read the stories in the bible … take David, for example. when he was young, God had him picked out of a lineup of all his brothers and labeled him as king, but he still had to work for it and through it and wait for it. and God delighted in him and rewarded him and protected him and cared for him … all while knowing that one day he’d screw up with Bathsheba and bring down terrible destruction on his family. since God is everywhere all the time and all-knowing, He knew David would screw up, but He didn’t discipline David until he screwed up.
then take the Prodigal Son … who took his inheritance and squandered it away, living the high life and then screwing up so bad he was literally in the slops, but he was still loved and welcomed home. God knew he’d eventually get that light-bulb of sense in his head but let him live his life as he chose and let him experience all the consequences of it, too.
i guess i’m getting philosophical here. i ponder things like this. till we breathe our last breath, there’s always room for redemption – not removal of our sins, but forgiveness and rescue. that’s … powerful.
sometimes i wonder . . . we work so hard to find something better, to do it right when others have done it wrong . . . and in the process, while we feel lost, perhaps that’s where we’re doing it right all along and don’t even realize it till it’s over. idk … pondering Ame here today 🙂
Ame – there are libraries full of books that have been written to address each of the points you raise above. My emotional impulse is to respond to your post but my intellect tells me that we can’t begin to do justice to these issues in a limited forum such as this.
A few threads back I posted a link to something I recently wrote to my daughter as she is facing the transition from undergraduate to graduate education (speech and language pathology, with a bit of a nudge from SSM). What I wrote in that link seems appropriate for this point in this thread as well. It certainly ties in with what Roosh is admiting to in what he wrote above. So, Ame, by way of underscoring what you wrote:
Choices
The points raised by Roosh and Ame and others in this thread are bumping up against the reason I ask the guys from time to time why they are expecting to find a wife that is better than the one that Adam’s father got for him. Adam had God’s attention and ministrations. Yet God saw that Adam was alone / lonely and said that it was not good for Adam to be alone. So he made Eve for Adam – supposedly to be a help, proper and fitting for him. God knew what Eve was going to do to Adam before he created her, force Adam to choose between her and God, and God created her anyway. If God had expected Adam to choose God over Eve when her imperfections started showing, logic suggests that God wouldn’t have made Eve to begin with. The New Testament states that God appointed Jesus to be the unblemished lamb to be offered as the final sacrifice “from before the foundation of the world”. That means “from before he created Eve”. He could have saved the unblemished lamb a lot of difficulty simply by making an Eve that would behave herself. But that wasn’t God’s plan. That wasn’t what God had in mind. Based on what the Bible says, God’s plan (for whatever reason) is that we are all supposed to muddle through, together, the less perfect and the not-so-less perfect, creating a life together through the making of mistakes – large and small. Why would there be a need for the final sacrifice if we could somehow escape those mistakes and do it all a different way? Adam didn’t tell God (couldn’t tell God?) “thanks, but no thanks” for Eve. He took what God gave him and they went out into the cursed ground outside the Garden and set about creating the rest of humanity. If they could do it, in spite of their imperfections, why can’t we?
If we wait until we find the perfect person, we won’t ever get started. And then there is the added complication of discovering that the person we looked for for so long doesn’t see us as that perfect person they have been looking for for so long. Somewhere, along they way, we have to stop the looking and start the doing. Knowing full well that we are not going to be perfect at it. Just like God knew that we were not going to be perfect at it. And made us anyway.
A new post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/04/13/margaritaville/
Others won’t learn from anything except their own experiences
Some will learn even then not
RichardP, I think it sounds too simplistic though to equate all women as the same. Sure all of us have sinned (or sin and will continue to sin) but the Bible is full of examples of men and women who had better hearts sometimes than the rest of the people.
And from what I studied from Bible teachers and people who went to seminary schools, it seems that although God could know everything from the beginning (and sometimes it looks like He does), I thought most scholars outside “pre-destination” ones, did believe that HE *chooses* not to know. This would explain His great disappointment in His people at times in the Bible, His anger at their actions that He even admits “surprised Him.”
I believe like they do, that God does not allow Himself to see the end all of the time. Maybe some of the time, but even prophecies in the Bible were contingent on people still choosing to do the right thing. It even says multiple times in the Isaiac prophecies regarding Jesus that He chose to go through all of that pain. He could have decided not to do it, even Satan “tempted” Him for 40 days trying to persuade Jesus not to follow God’s plan.
God’s plan is changeable based on human choice and behavior. It’s one of the main reasons why I wrote that godliness requires choice and action – because God actually allows us to design our life (or “destiny” if you like that word).
We can even **change God’s mind about His plans** I’ve seen it in multiple Biblical examples I’ve studied throughout the years! I mean, it’s fascinating that we can change the mind of God, but we can sometimes.
I don’t know, I don’t pretend to know everything, but these things are for sure in the Bible and seem to suggest that God 1) chooses not to know everything, but allows us to make choices that even “surprise” Him in anger, and 2) allows us humans to literally change His mind about His plans for us in the future.
It’s crazy to me that an all-powerful God would allow humans that much control over our own lives and over His own heart, but He does seem to.
Stephanie – I don’t disagree with anything you say. My point was twofold in my comment above: 1) in this small space, we can’t say everything that needs to be said (so I couldn’t explain what I meant perfectly), and; 2) God’s plan for us includes the fact that he doesn’t intend for us to find, or be, the perfect spouse (what I already said above, plus “all have sinned and come short …” etc.)
I’m addressing those who think we folks can’t build anything worth-while with other imperfect folks. That is not a useful way to think, since God planned for us to need a final sacrifice before he began to create our world and us.
One note though: If God knows our end from our beginning before we even get started, as the Bible says – if God knows everything, as the Bible says – the concept of “getting God to change his mind” is a bit more complex than what we can adequately address in blogs such as this. The concept of “God changing his mind” in the context of him knowing our end from our beginning before we even get started requires some mental gymnastics and a re-definition of what it means to change ones mind.
Indeed Richard and Stephanie, such ideas are so complex on could ponder them for a lifetime! I do think that waiting to be perfect if folly, as is thinking one even can achieve perfection. If we could do so we would not need Grace. Thank God for Grace or I for one would be long ago done! 🙂
“The concept of “God changing his mind” in the context of him knowing our end from our beginning before we even get started requires some mental gymnastics and a re-definition of what it means to change ones mind.”
I do think it’s mysterious, and I don’t completely understand it either… but there are many instances in the Bible where He allowed people to persuade Him to do something different after He announced what He was going to do initially to them or to others.
Just one major example could be when He told King Hezekiah that he was going to die soon and to get his affairs in order. Then when the king prayed to change that plan, God felt moved and added 15 more years to his life! There’s other examples, too. God is not a strange stone-faced god. He has emotions and He listens to us. He allows us the option of choice. He may have known from the beginning what we would do or choose, but He also says He is “surprised” sometimes at the way we act.
Mysterious….
Richard …. wisdom.
loved Choices the first time you shared it; love it again. and it’s something i need to hear often at this season of my life – forgiving my younger self for not knowing what i do now … and then letting it go.