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Ladies, are you marriage minded? As in, your goal of dating is to find a suitable mate and to marry, or if you are already married to be so for life?

Sometime in the 1970’s the social contract on marriage changed. It went from something that everyone involved expected to be for the long haul to something people expected to do, “until we don’t feel it” or “As long as we’re happy.” People admit to walking down the aisle knowing they can divorce if things don’t “work out.” In essence, marriage has been reduced to little more than going steady, another stop in the serial monogamy journey. This is not being marriage minded!

At the same time young women were urged to put off marriage into her 30’s. The advice is likely based on knowing young women in their late teens to early 30’s have youth and beauty on her side. If she’s married, some argued, she might “miss out” on maximizing on those assets. In reality, pairing up is much like the game of musical chairs. Over time there are fewer options left, until there are no options at all except a few broken chairs. Many women who followed this advice found sure enough, finding a man interested in marriage in the 30’s is not as easy as it would have been younger. Such women often regret not being marriage minded younger.

And finally, if one is going to marry, she should have her head on straight first about what marriage is really about. It’s about building a life, a partnership, raising a family,  leaving a legacy — not something that is based on feelz and being “in love” and “always happy” and “fulfilled” and all the rest. Not that marriage can’t have those things, but they are not the rock to build it on. Understand marriage is a long game, and not every day of it will be fun, fulfilling, and exciting. Lots of it will just be regular, uneventful, maybe even boring. Get that regular, uneventful, and maybe even boring is GOOD because that means things are going ok, there is no crisis, and that’s something to be thankful for!

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

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