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battle of the sexes, breaking up, breakup, breakups, casual sex, dating, dating advice, hook ups, hookup, hookups, marriage, red pill
Ladies, if you find yourself puzzling over dating dilemmas such as what to do when a guy doesn’t call back, what men think about sex on the first date, a simple way you can stand out from the rest, and more you’ll want to go to this informative dating blog written by a man cluing women into all those things about dating that never made sense, but suddenly will!
Now some of his advice may come across as blunt or even harsh at times, but if you take it like advice from a brother to his sister, his no holds barred, cut to the chase style becomes more a form of tough love to save you from many mistakes, broken hearts, and go nowhere situations.
In fact, I would suggest you go to this page that lists all of his posts, and start reading from the bottom up a few a day until you have read them all. By the time you do, dating will no longer be so much of a mystery and you will be armed with the knowledge you need to succeed in relationships, rather than wondering time and again what went wrong.
What do you think? Please share in the comments!
aaand … i hope all that made sense … with all the stuff going on with my aspie-girl this week, i could have just given instructions to some crazy place at the bottom of the ocean 😉
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/05/25/daughters-preference/
“she would not do well married to a man who wanted to travel and see the world. that is not her. she would do better with a man who has a more predictable career. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.”
I love your comments Ame… not trying to be difficult. ❤
There's nothing wrong with her preferring to marry someone who wasn't going to travel, but once you're married, and I know you agree, you just have to adjust and literally rise to the challenge of being a helpmeet to your husband – however that looks like. She can decide on that before marriage, but ultimately God directs her steps and as much as you'd like 🙂 you have no control over what that may look like where God will lead her and the kind of man she'll end up marrying. God may ask him to be a missionary who will travel the world, AFTER they are married for 5 years and have 2 kids. I've seen that happen. Women need to be instructed in being like Sarah and being willing to follow no matter their personality or temperament.
I've read many women's accounts of their struggles in accepting being a wife supporting their husbands' missions. They don't call it his mission, but it's clear that's what their struggle is dealing with.
From farmers' wives to women who suddenly found their husbands decided to become Diplomats and Ambassadors who did truly travel all over. Or they married their husbands young and then they got into the military afterward and ended up moving all over the world as a military family. I've seen things like that happen, and I don't think it'd be acceptable for a wife to just be like, "Oh, sorry – I didn't sign up for that. My personality clashes with this marriage lifestyle."
Nothing wrong with trying to avoid marrying someone "wrong" for you, but most of the time even women who *think* they know what they're getting into (like farmers' daughters thinking they know what farm wifing is like) and truly believe they'd like it, end up finding out they were wrong and that it's **still** very hard and very much a struggle.
I really don't think we should be trying to avoid struggles like these anyway when it comes to things like that. I get it though… we want to plan out our children's lives and try to make it easier for them, or teach them to choose the easiest route to happiness, but real life just doesn't work out that way. It's probably better to prepare them to have to rise to the challenge – whatever that struggle will be – and to truly become actual helpmeets to the men they marry.
And what I mean by saying I don’t think we should be trying to avoid struggles like these anyway is that… these are the very things that build a person’s faith.
If someone has an easy life with the perfect personality match of a spouse, where is the chance for them to ever grow spiritually or in faith through such an easy life? Why would they ever need to lean on God if following their husband’s mission and supporting him was supposed to be an easy thing?
Without struggles, people prove to be kind of futile and lack backbone and real strength. And the farmers’ wives I’ve witnessed who did rise to the challenge, even though it looked so hard, they came out of that a million times stronger than if they’d had a life that was somehow easier.
These struggles that a wife would suffer through if she married someone and God called him to do the very thing she didn’t want him to do, going through that is called suffering, which Romans tells us produces perseverance, and perseverance is what builds character, and character eventually builds hope.
I just don’t see why parents seek so much (to the point of denying their children the ability to grow into strong, capable women who can meet the challenge of anything through the strength of their faith), by providing her the “perfect” life where she marries this elusive perfect man who will perfectly match her personality so that she never has struggles.
@ Stephanie rp and Ame, I can see what all of you are saying. And thing is all are valid: a gal should really think about who she chooses for a life mate, and support his mission, and also know if life takes a turn and things change, better to adapt and change direction w him than become a thorn in his side. Absolutely. We can do our best to plan and choose well and wisely, but if and when plans change (and who is really what they planned at 20?) then one must roll w it and embrace the tactical reality on the ground rather than hang up on “how it should be.” Also true re struggle. It’s part of life. Maybe not the fun part but it can be a positive growth part w the right attitude. Today people often see struggle as something to avoid at all cost. And self induced needless struggle, yes. But struggle in general comes and goes. We may not get to choose when or how but we can choose our response. Positive is better than negative. So in short, you are all right! 💕💖💕
I really don’t think we should be trying to avoid struggles like these anyway when it comes to things like that. I get it though… we want to plan out our children’s lives and try to make it easier for them, or teach them to choose the easiest route to happiness, but real life just doesn’t work out that way. It’s probably better to prepare them to have to rise to the challenge – whatever that struggle will be – and to truly become actual helpmeets to the men they marry.
*sad smile*
Sweet Stephanie – you know I love you and value you. and I hope and your children you never know what my girls and I know …
what it’s like to find out your world is shattered b/c your dad is leaving.
what it’s like to buffer your dad so he doesn’t hurt your sister, and you’re only seven years old yourself.
what it’s like to train your children to obey and respect their father who continuously provokes them to anger, in anger.
what it’s like to train your children to forgive their father, and their mother, because in their little eyes it doesn’t matter who left whom and who divorced whom, their little hearts hurt so bad they wish they were dead.
what it’s like to help your nine year old battle being suicidal because despite what every expert says and what those who know her say, he refuses to do what’s good for her simply out of spite for her mother because of his hate for her to the extent that he gets a court order to make it happen.
what it’s like to watch your kids cry and beg you not to go to Daddy’s while you respect their Dad and teach them by example how to respect and obey him, too.
what it’s like to watch your daughter get diagnosed by some of the leading specialists in the country only for her dad to continuously blame it all on you, not believing them even when they prove their diagnoses to be true.
what it’s like to get the call from your high school freshman daughter telling you that Daddy has just told her to her face that he doesn’t like her, that he doesn’t want her, and to call her mom because she’s no longer welcome in his home.
what it’s like to watch your daughter go through severe neurological trauma because her dad rejected her, ending her up in the ER and seeing multiple specialists, enduring many difficult medical tests, until they could diagnose her with a something she’ll have to live with for the rest of her life.
what it’s like to watch your daughter become suicidal, once again, because Daddy doesn’t want her.
what it’s like for your other daughter to get the call from her Dad telling her the same, that he doesn’t like her and doesn’t want her and she’s not allowed to see him anymore.
what it’s like to listen to your seventh grade daughter call her Daddy and beg him to see her, just long enough to give her a hug, crying hyperventilating tears, while he tells her that no, she doesn’t deserve to see him.
what it’s like to teach your daughters to forgive their Daddy because you know their heart can’t live with it if they don’t.
what it’s like to watch your mom marry another man who is not your Daddy and to have to live in his house and under his rules and move away from the only school district you’ve ever known to do so.
what it’s like to watch your mom get married again, and while it’s a double fudge sundae with real whipped cream and a cherry on top, it’s not without calories or the labor to create … and when your Mom submits to her new husband, that means you must also.
my girls know things. they know that in this life they will have many trials. they know that marriage for a woman means submission and adapting regardless of the cost, and that it’s not always easy, but it is what God has called us to do.
they know that marriage and parenting are relationships, and in relationship we have to sacrifice ourselves for another.
I don’t raise my girls for the fairy tale. they already know good and well that doesn’t exist. I raise my girls to trust in a God who is bigger than all the trials that can ever come their way. I raise my girls to forgive, and that forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. I raise my girls knowing that trust must be earned but respect must be given. and I raise them to know, to KNOW, that even though life is really REALLY hard, God is more good than life is hard. and that in the end, they will stand before God all on their own and face Him, and that they will want to do so with a pure heart that is devoted to Him, regardless of what this life has held and will hold for them.
and you want to know the most amazing part of all of that? they still want to live.
– – –
and … there is no perfect life 🙂 … as I know you know 🙂
I have a friend who has truly lived the most perfect life one can imagine. she grew up in a home with a self-made father and great wealth. she and her three siblings all married amazing spouses. they all had amazing children. and their children are all (those of age) married and having children of their own. their marriages haven’t always been easy, but they’ve had their whole family of support behind each and every one of them. they’ve had her dad’s money to help them start out in life with cars and houses when they got married and his money to fall back on when needed. and none of them have had any real serious ‘problems’ in life. yet, I know her well enough to know … she’s had her own demons to face. we all do.
we do well, as you wisely said, to teach our children how to struggle rather than how to avoid the struggle. for it will come, to all of us.
I’m so sorry Ame. I think if anything their struggles probably made them stronger ❤ although I'm sure you wish it was different 😥 I am sorry though.
…
I guess… when I'm in the position to teach younger women, I really am going to try to teach them against what I've heard it called the "cult of personality." Basing decisions and everything pretty much on tempermant instead of **character.**
There's personality differences and then there's character that people develop. I want women to know that the only thing that truly matters is their character, and if they decide to do what is right over what "feels" right.
My dad was the one who taught me about this new (in the 80’s) “cult of personality,” that was so widely accepted. Whenever RP mentions “personality differences” LOL I mentally get sent back to all my dads discussions speaking against that kind of thinking. You have to remember my dad was a lot like Peterson… and he had a real problem with wording that I think I picked up through him teaching me things. I think there’s so much value in looking deeply into these things though.
There *are* personality differences, I’m not trying to say they aren’t… but they are just not as important as a person’s overall *character,* and what they choose to do, regardless of their personality or how hard it may be for them due to their natural temperament.
No one’s struggles are really unique. We like to think that they are, but everyone has sometimes severe struggles they either have gone through, or will go through.
And to bring it back to what RP was tryign to say to Love…
No one’s struggles are really unique, even though we like to think or imagine they are.
There are lonely wives who are married to simple farmers… who they barely get to see when it’s harvesting season and they REALLY really struggle with that.
There are lonely wives who have men with 9-5 jobs, who they haven’t done the work to try to connect with and enjoy him as he is.
And yes, there are the lonely wives who are married to the very few men who really are gone “always.” Their struggle is just not as unique as he’s making it sound. Lots of wives have to deal with loneliness – no matter who they’re married to or how successful he is.
So if that struggle isn’t really so unique as he’s saying… it seems better to teach young women to be able to deal with their feelings and “personality differences” so that they base their decisions on solely character.
‘they turn into the most bitter creatures imagineable, who curse their husbands daily and constantly remind EVERYONE around them about their sore lot in life’
Which to me is still one of the dumbest things to do. She married the guy…so that means they are one. Curse your husband and you curse yourself.
It’s high time bitter wives remember that fact again.
@stephanie agreed, I think women are mislead that their husband and marriage are supposed to make them happy/fulfilled/complete, etc. No. Each person must do that and find that themselves. A spouse can support (or not) that but I think too many women expect this magical and effortless happy ever after and then fall into bitterness, blame, and anger when it isn’t so. Then use it as an excuse to divorce. Better to approach marriage realistically. It’s good and bad, will have ups and downs, and is based on the commitment made not the feeling of the moment.
I do get what RP is saying, some people are an easier fit than others. But also agree w you, once wed it can’t be based on, “we are or aren’t a good fit.” Because that kind of thinking makes leaving an option vs working through tough times or situations. The time to choose the personality fit is prior to marriage, once married it’s about making things fit and even sometimes accepting maybe they don’t but the commitment was made and standing by it and is the solution. I was not taught these things and as a result approached marriage from a very immature place. I can now see the wisdom of approaching it differently. The feels based thing I was taught is doomed to fail.
The reality of marriage is that both spouses sacrifice something for one another. It’s not the husband only and the wife does nothing but complain how unhappy she is.
Yes, it just reminds me so much of my dad… my wonderful, wise dad. Who knew all of this stuff, and yet still tried to prevent me from marrying young (he always wanted me to travel 🙂 ) and without being graduated yet. He (and my mom) both wanted so badly to “save” me from the “suffering” of marrying so young, and a lot of it was based on this kind of thinking that you have to have it all perfectly matched up, your ducks in a row, etc. to have a good marriage or good life.
It’s all so that their children can avoid suffering.
There’s a scene in LOTR where Arwen is leaving Middle Earth because her father convinced her marrying the man of her dreams was not in her best interest – that he looked into her future and saw only death. As she’s leaving, she sees a true vision of what her future would have looked like – and it involved having a son. The son runs to his father (her man her father has convinced her is not worth marrying) the dad lovingly takes him into his arms and then the son looks EXACTLY into her eyes like “Are you really leaving us?”
She then goes back to her dad and accuses him of not telling her that there was more than death (suffering) if she married him, there was also LIFE (her son)!
That scene… it is exactly how I felt with my parents.
And we did have a son first. And it was so worth it.
ahhhhh … now I know where you’re coming from, Stephanie.
I don’t think it’s an either/or thing. one of those ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bath water,’ kinda things.
character is more important, but that doesn’t mean personality and temperament should not be taken into consideration. had I known how to look at my first husband’s temperament before we were married, I think it might have saved me a lot of bad.
anyway – your dad surely is wise 🙂
Anybody here use Astrology to pick a partner ? I’ve had people laugh at me … many times actually … but I actually think there is something to do. Not perfect of course but as a general rule … some signs get along and some do not. For example Aries … my brother was Aries and we fought all the time as boys. Even to this day … if I meet some and have an instant distaste for them … many times they turn out to be Aries. Or Scorpio. Those two just don’t work for me. Has happened over and over … too many times to be coincidence.
Ditto for people that I do get along with. There are some that I do and many times have an instant understanding with them. I’m surprised how often its right. Aquarius for example.
I even use an online Astrology site … put in your date and time of birth and where on the planet you were born. Do that for a potential partner and it will tell you if you’d make a good match. Works better than you’d think.
Wise words Stephanie. Thank you. ❤
Aww Ame!!!!!!!!!
Your husband was (sorry!) an idiot. And he sounds seriously like he was really a foolish or even an evil man. A lot like Nabal in the Bible (and you were/are Abigail – which is HUGE kudos to you for growing so beautiful in character through all of that).
To me… like 99% of the things I said in all those comments (sorry people… I talk too much), they don’t apply to your marriage!
His “temperament” of doing what he did to you and his daughters doesn’t sound normal to me 😦
But I love you, and I wasn’t referring to your marriage, just in general (trying to exclude evil men or outliers like that).
“had I known how to look at my first husband’s temperament before we were married, I think it might have saved me a lot of bad.”
I mean, only you can know this! But to me, his “temperament” or “personality differences” sound so mentally off.
Some people are just assholes. Living with them (like you’ve explained) is extreme suffering.
Great post and the link in your site is very good!
Mega, my Indian friend is from a specific caste. The elders in her caste arranged her marriage by doing a complex natal chart compatibility (astrology charting by hand) … They also investigated 5 generations back for both her and her spouse. I think that definitely beats any online dating app’s algorithm for matching people.
Which to me is still one of the dumbest things to do. She married the guy…so that means they are one. Curse your husband and you curse yourself.
It’s high time bitter wives remember that fact again.
yep. a good way to put it.
@Mega – Do note that this site was started in 2012. Just before feminism became the ugly monster it is now.
@Stephanie – you said that you could not tell whether I was kidding or not in one of my comments. So I elaborated for you, comparing the extremes of always there versus always gone. I then stated that I had known women who chose the type of men that Love expressed a desire for. The driven, accomplished type. Who got that way by working long hours. Those women came to regret their choice because the man was alway gone – as driven men tend to be (always gone).
1. I know there exists a cohort of reasonable men who exist between always there and always gone. I was not arguing that point.
2. I did not say, or imply that the women were justified in blowing up their marriages because the men were always gone. I simply said that I have know such women.
3. I have no issue with the points that you are making. In general, I agree with you, but your points are different than the points I was making.. I do disagree with how you are characterizing what I said.
Give it a few days and then re-read what I wrote that you took issue with. See if it doesn’t make more sense to you then. You can find my post here: RichardP 5-24-18; 9:35 pm. (Hopefully I got this link right.)
@Sam
Can you elaborate … not quite sure what you’re getting at. Feminism has been an ugly monster for a decades now. No-fault divorce originated in the late 1970s and spread like a virus in the 1980s. We are now in the 3rd wave of Feminism. What’s 2012 got to do with anything ???
For everyone else … have a great holiday weekend. Headed out of town tomorrow AM with the GF … will check back in after a few days. Thinking the marriage question may be discussed … probably overdue. Will have lots of time in the car to talk about it in any case.
Remember … what Memorial Day is all about. The millions of men who gave their lives so that we may retain our freedom. That freedom seems to be getting in short supply these days, not a good thing.
Peace
@Stephanie and whoever else: I think I am making an assumption in my comment that may not be as obvious as I think it is. I said:
You can have what the 80-year-old ex-professor brings to the table, or what Ton brought to the table in his younger years (always around or always gone).
Translation: man of great accomplishment = man who is always gone. Man who is always there = man of much lesser accomplishment. That actually is the way it is in the real world, unless you work from home. (Remember that I am ignoring all of the men in the middle. I’m pointing out the extremes.)
When one expresses a desire for a man of great accomplishment, as Love did, in real life they are expressing a desire for a man who is always gone. If one wants a man who will always be around, or mostly be around, by definition they must accept a man of lesser accomplishment. That is the way it is in the real world. That was the point I was making to Love.
I have known women who thought they wanted a man of great accomplishment. Then when they got what the thought they wanted (the man of great accomplishment), they discovered that what they really wanted was a man who would be around physically and emotionally. It turned out there was such a man … the gardner. Which is just a euphemism for the guy across town that the woman in the Eagle’s Lyin’ Eyes was off to see. Ame makes reference to this fellow in her comments above the gardner. She says he was available to her. And, human nature being what it is, I’m guessing the urge to accept what he had to offer was strong in her. But Ame’s character prevailed and she chose to not accept what the gardner had to offer.
Be careful of what you say that you want. Because what you really want may turn out to be something different. Better to know that before you make the commitment than after. This is a valid point. And it is a very narrow point. It is important to encourage women to look at the experiences of others and learn from them. If you want a man of great accomplishment, understand that you will likely be left alone. If you don’t want to be left alone, then understand that you’d best choose a middle manager rather than the owner of the company. It is good to know this before you make your commitment, rather than after.
Personalities are real, and persistent. Based on individual biological characteristics (little testosterone versus lots; little cortisol versus lots; great sensitivity to light and sound versus little sensitivity, etc.) The personalities of CEOs and company owners are much different than the personalities of those who top out in middle management. Read a few books on the subject, learn some basic biology, and you can improve your ability to spot the type of men who are likely to always be gone versus always be there (and all the others that exist in the middle). Arming young ladies with this type of information is much more useful than simply encouraging them to go for the guy that all the other women want.
But character counts. It is important to instill in young people the fact that God requires you to honor your commitment, even if your partner turns out to be something other than what you thought you were commiting to. That is the for better or for worse part of the marriage vow. When young folks really get that – and really buy into the concept that they must honor their commitment – the result is they will be much more careful about choosing who they will commit to.
At least that is the goal.
The first two lines of italics are all I intended. After those first two lines, italics should be off.
Legit RP
Many women what The Ton. How many women wanted The Ton as a broke, physical fit but only good at shooting fuckers in the face 20 year old asshole Ton? How many women want The Ton as a fairly wealthy but frequently absnete asshole?
I drank two bottles of whiskey toneght so fuck off iF my spelling sucks
@richard p, there is also the issue of women wanting whatever it is they don’t have. Women can become aware of and guard against this. If he’s a driven guy, she at times will wish he were more available, if he’s not she will at times wish he were more driven. Everything has pros and cons. Realizing this can help prevent “the grass is greener” syndrome. But yes, a gal who needs her guy around would be unwise to choose a very driven guy, as she will likely work against his mission rather than support it.
” But Ame’s character prevailed and she chose to not accept what the gardner had to offer.”
The “personalities differ” thing you always pull out is true, but even here… this simple sentence shows that character ALWAYS trumps personality or the better true term for it (that puts it in it’s rightful place) – temperament.
I totally understand that there are different kinds of driven people – the type
Oops posted too soon..
…the typeA, type B, and type C. I actually wrote a crazy long academic paper on those different kinds of personalities, and their effects on longterm health among tons of other biological stuff I included that I was researching at that time in my undergrad.
BUT it’s ridiculous to assume that people don’t match up romantically anyway according to their personalities. To me you were warning that women need to be wary of mismatching (according solely to their personality) when in reality, that’s highly unlikely to happen just due to how attraction works.
And even if they do marry someone you’re claiming is “wrong for them” personality wise (again, not likely… due to them having to have romance first anyway, to mispair) but even if they did, character should trump that… override it… and make a marriage work.
Anyway… being aware of how often a husband will be gone or where life is going to take them, or where he’ll suddenly feel God leading him… all that is SO uncontrollable when they’re just dating.
We have friends who one day the husband revealed that God had been calling him to Siberia, Russia. And she went… with 3 small children in tow with him. She had to learn Russian. And it was hard for little kids to adjust to that harsh of an environment. They’ve been in Siberia for about 5 years now and we keep up with their updates.
THAT to me is following your husband. And it is so beautiful.
“If he’s a driven guy, she at times will wish he were more available, if he’s not she will at times wish he were more driven. ”
^^This.
This is why I think it’s not going to work in this atmosphere, to simply tell women to pick who is “perfect” for them personality wise. Aside from the fact I think that’s built upon the whole cult of personality (where character doesn’t matter anymore), longterm it won’t work because people can change. They can lose their motivation or drive or suddenly increase it dramatically.
I know police wives who are VERY unhappy with how **not** driven their husbands are to promote up. That’s wrong on the wives’ part. They should support him in how he’s happy where he’s at and enjoying the work he’s doing (and he’s doing a good job of it, the one I have in mind). But she’s just not happy with him “settling” for the normal beat shift.
I do know that he was pretty driven when they first married (military experience and then worked very hard to get into our academy, etc.) but then settled into a nice comfy beat shift where he’s just really happy. Her job is to focus on being content with what they have now, and stop pushing him to test to promote each year and then feeling resentful when seeing her friends’ husbands promote over him and get more pay etc.
And I also know women who are resentful their husbands have such an active (higher up) position where they find tons of fulfillment in doing activities that pertain to their job (extra stuff). They start drinking and becoming a little psycho. I know 2 like this and they are very hard to be around. I think this behavior comes from not accepting who and what their husband is, and feeling content in all of it and finding their own happiness with him.
This is all so much more complicated than just “make sure you marry someone your personality matches.” It’s more *much much more* about these wives’ character flaws in not being able to change, learn the secret of being content, and accept their husbands for who they are, not who they wish they’d be.
Also consider this point.
Women who complain… they’ll probably complain no matter what. Which is what Bloom pointed out. That is a character flaw – not some different kind of personality where they didn’t match well.
They may want their husband to move up the ladder or have more ambition, but if they had what they wanted, they’d probably complain about that, too.
Again… character is just far more important than the cult of personality.
Yes people who complain constantly will complain about anything when things are going good or bad. It shows a lack of contentment.
Basically how it goes for me: I’m attracted to a woman’s beauty, but I look at the heart to see if she’s the commitment type. And a lot of women are found wanting in this regard.
Both are “good for their age” mid fifties I guess.
Neither would stand a chance in the wider MMP.
Shr might get a ONS but a commitment?
But look at how playful and relaxed they are, how comfortable in their skin.
This is what Vixen (and any post forty divorcee) will Never Ever have.
There isnt time to get thru the stasge after novelty wears off to the just comfortable with each other stage. It takes about ten years plus.
And yes she is better than he.
But he would be fine alone long term if he had to.
She knows what she has is not bad. Not Amazing Faaaabuloous, but not bad.
And that is good enough.
That video was awesome Horseman!
Simplistic, yet so true.
The “personality” thing is somewhat related to a study I read about long ago that showed people who believed in “soul mates” actually fared worse in LTRs than people who didn’t. It seems counterintuitive but what researchers found was in the “soul mate” model people would perceive struggles or hard times as “a sign” they were not soul mates, just as they had read earlier “signs” indicating they were. Relationships that lasted better were based on a more realistic, “all relationships take work” model.
That said obviously just randomly matching people up and expecting that to work would probably not work either so yes some matches are better than others but all matches will at times require character and commitment to see thru harder times.
Arranged marriages have a low divorce rate but according to those I have asked about that, who come from those countries, say it’s often bc divorce is so socially unacceptable that people make it work vs the arranged marriages are “better matches.”
Yes many women will complain they want the opposite until they get that and they complain they want the former. I would be amazed if some of the men here have not personally experienced this phenomenon?
Wanting what one doesn’t have can lead to good things like pushing oneself to their highest, but it can also be a bad thing. Contentment is not a virtue preached much anymore but I believe it’s really the key to happiness in many ways. Making what one has the best they can is far more realistic and doable than wanting what they don’t have. Wanting what one doesn’t have only leads to missing what blessing one does have!
I am paraphrasing (hopefully not totally off) but there is a verse, “He who does much with little can do more with much. He who cannot do much with little will not do more with much.”
Lol horseman, I believe Ton said once his grandmother advised the same as the video! 🙂
I am paraphrasing (hopefully not totally off) but there is a verse, “He who does much with little can do more with much. He who cannot do much with little will not do more with much.”
i think you’re referring to the parable of the talents?
Matthew 25:14 “For it is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them. 15 To one he gave five [a]talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey. 16 Immediately the one who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more talents. 17 In the same manner the one who had received the two talents gained two more. 18 But he who received the one talent went away, and dug a hole in the ground and hid his [b]master’s money.
19 “Now after a long time the master of those slaves *came and *settled accounts with them. 20 The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, ‘Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your [c]master.’
22 “Also the one who had received the two talents came up and said, ‘Master, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more talents.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’
24 “And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’
26 “But his master answered and said to him, ‘You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed. 27 Then you ought to have put my money [d]in the bank, and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest. 28 Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.’
29 “For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. 30 Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
lol! i’ve heard that before … and it’s true 😉
amazing how simple it is … and how, ummm, successful it is 🙂
it should probably be in the vows of every woman getting married! lol!
That’s a good one too Ame but I was thinking of Luke 16:10:
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
I think I may have been blending it w this Luke 12:48:
For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required
“Arranged marriages have a low divorce rate but according to those I have asked about that, who come from those countries, say it’s often bc divorce is so socially unacceptable that people make it work vs the arranged marriages are “better matches.””
Can’t argue with success can you. RPG?
Here is another little gem, for your perusal
https://www.yourtango.com/4-modern-reasons-i-refuse-to-change-my-last-name-for-marriage
🙂
love those 🙂
Love that website you suggested. Was one of the first things that opened my eyes to how dating really worked.
@ Stephanie interesting re the not being happy w a guy being a beat cop. Maybe it’s the hypergamy/apex fallacy thing at play? Obviously there needs to be beat cops, and likely more beat cops than higher ups. (I am guessing not knowing much about law enforcement hierarchy etc.) And, for such ladies I may wonder, how much does their pushing for advancement lead their guy to resist it? When if supported he may not resist but actually want to advance? Just a thought…. have you seen or suspected this?
@blush dot welcome! 🙂
I don’t know what is happening with that exactly. And you’re right that there needs to be 100’s more officers doing their normal beats, rather than detectives, then sergeants, etc. It does get smaller and smaller the higher up you go.
And definitely if a wife is pushing her husband to advance, then he’s going to not like it. It has to come from him to have that desire.
Back from the weekend getaway with the GF … to meet much of her extended family for the first time. I didn’t bring up the marriage talk till 90% of the way home. Was thinking I’d just let it slide but thought if I posted that here … that I never brought it up … people would be calling me a chicken shit, lol.
Anyway, brought it up and we discussed it like adults; that’s one of the reasons we get along so well … communications are very open and honest. She had a few reservations which were legit; so I’ll mull those over. She even said that given what had happened to me in my divorce she didn’t know if I would ever want to get married again. Told her what I felt so it went both ways. Anyway now that its in the open we can figure out what’s best. Actually, I think she was relieved I finally brought it up so glad that I did. She even admited that she half expected someone to ask her during the trip when we were getting married. So now at least she has an answer.
The visit with the relatives could take up several posts of their own. Just glad I took the Red Pill … as I now view personal interactions in a totally different manner; now that all the lies and delusions have been stripped away. I guess they are a pretty typical middle class white family these days … meaning 90% of them are completely fucked up in the head. If anyone cares to know I could drop a few tidbits … funny or pathetic ? Who knows …
I am right here! 😜
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/double-down-they-will/
Seems like there isn’t any interest … and its RPG’s blog after all … so I’ll pass filling in the details of what when down with the Fam. Not fond of spilling personal details anyway. I passed with the Fam which is all that matters.
Mega – sometimes i say to my girls, “Patience is a virtue, get some NOW!” lol!
i’m sure no one’s responded b/c it’s the middle of the night most places after a long weekend, and people need to go to work tomorrow … so they probably didn’t jump onto Bloom’s site immediately after you posted to immediately encourage you to tell your weekend stories because they’re sleeping 🙂
however, i would enjoy reading your weekend stories with the possible in-laws … esp how you handled it all differently with the red pill than you would have without it 🙂
Re beat cops.
There are few real beat cops any more. Patrols yes but actually walk a beat?
My Scots grandfather was a beat cop in Toronto for twenty years from the war to the mid sixties. He even moved into his “beat”. He knew everyone and related to everyone.
He got more street info than any detective as even the thugs knew him as a standup guy. And they knew his “rules”: kids and the old, don’t even think of it vice versa settle a debt between thugs he sees nothing, just no one gets seriously hurt.
He literally was the walking symbol of pride in a neighboirhood. Just his presence could diffuse a situation. Course 6-7 280 diffuses alot.
I’ve heard that about the officers 2 generations older than my husband. We know one and his wife and he was like a legend. That is so cool!
It’s true it’s not like that anymore. BUT I do have to say, they still have their certain areas they regularly patrol – IF they prove they can handle them. They call them (here at least) their “districts.” But it’s not the same as when they knew everyone and even the thugs respected them.
We (here) have way too many undocumented immigrants (lol) to have that kind of level of respect for officers or for other people and our country in general. They feel extremely entitled, too, to fraud, to stealing, to hurting anyone, and no respect for authority.
So I guess “beat cops” now to me at least, means an officer whose proven he can handle an entire district mostly on his own. There’s not enough of them to have them be on foot anymore (at all LOL). And he’s lucky if he can get a partner.
Change of topic: Chivalry
Something happened at the grocery store today that shows my age and “Chivalry”.
Store recently went to the shopping carts needing quarters to unlock. As I am walking up the parking lot I am pulling change from my pocket. (As a guy who still uses cash I have lots of change.) There in my hand are three shiny quarters amongst loonies and toonies.
I get to the carts behind an average 30ish woman. She stops, sees the carts and starts rummaging in her purse for a quarter. I look down at the three quarters in my hand….
And I THINK ABOUT IT!!!
Doesn’t matter what I thought (dont remember) but I Thought About It for a good twenty seconds. A long pause.
In that time she gives up in frustration, huffs, and goes back to the parking lot likely to find a quarter in her car.
Its not whether I would or wouldn’t have given one to her (not tellin’) but that
I Thought About It!!
In my youth, up to say 35, would be an autonimous act ” here you go mame.”
Now I expended brain cells on deciding on a simple chivalrous act.
(No its not rudeness, I didn’t slam the door in her face)
Says a lot about how things have changed.
Ame … ok, I’ll spill the beans a bit … wasn’t sure of FML’s “I’m here” meant that he wanted to hear what I had to say or not. So I’ll take that as two … spill the beans.
Guess I’ll start by laying out the landscape … perilous for a BF showing up for the first time … I’d never met any of these folks. So … we are staying at her cousin’s house. The cousin’s mom was the GF’s mom’s sister. The cousin and the GF are very, very close … like sisters. The cousin and her husband are approximately the same age as the GF and I and we stayed there all weekend, Sat night, Sun night, came back Mon. The big event was Sunday and a pool party … it was extremely hot and everyone showed up for pretty much the whole day. The first evening (Sat) and the last morning (Mon)… we had to leave mid day on Mon to get home … it was just us (GF and I, cousin and her hubby).
So the cousin’s parents show up at the pool party. As well as some of the cousin’s children. And their children … in droves. Yeah, confusing. Basically 80s, 50’s, 30’s, < 10 … 4 generations in the same house. 2 in the 80s. 4 in the 50s. 4 in the 30s. 7 less than 10 … ok … one girl was 12. So … 7 kids less than 12. One baby 6 mos old and 5 boys between 3 and 10. Yes, chaos ensued.
First thing I noticed was lack of men. Like most things these days … men just check the hell out. Great grampa showed up for a bit but left really early about 2pm. Cousin's hubby was around but really wasn't … took a 6 yr break mid day … said the sun was getting to him and went down to the basement to take a nap. There's Me. And one 30 something mostly dickless mangina. Cousin has a brother that didn't show. Cousin has 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. Girl showed, neither boy did.
Basically after gramps left it was me & soy boy … 5 women and 7 kids. Guess I was AMOG by default … but I knew not a single person there. Can you say "awkward" ?
So that sets the stage. I'll break this up into pieces … hope it all makes sense in the end.
So, one thing I notice is that … I imagine that nearly everyone there is probably broke. Gramps and wife are retired and probably won’t last long … his wifey is a drunk and basket case … probably won’t last long. So for them, it really doesn’t matter and they probably have more assets/money than anyone else. The elder patriarch, if you can call him that, was actually pretty cool. And that is something that I’ve found to be true as I’ve taken the red pill and learned to observe. The older dudes (and women too) … get it. How things really work. The younger you go … the more fucked up they are. The younger you go … the more delusional and brainwashed they are about everything.
So Gramps kinda played a trick on me. Kinda cool when you think about it. Just him and I were talking on the deck when he asks me about the GF’s kid … the one still at home and what he does to earn his keep. Asks about GF’s dad who he has probably known from before I was even born. And the kid … he’s probably known since he was born too. What’s the kid like and what does he do to help his grampa ? So I told him.
A little while later the GF stops in and they start chit-chatting and he asks HER the same questions that he asked me. Will he get the same answer ? Which is what he’s checking of course. Am I feeding him bs ? Do I REALLY know what’s going on within the family. If I do … I’m legit. If I don’t … I’m a poser.
GF answered pretty much word-for-word what I said. For the win ! Maybe Gramps found out what he wanted to know, cause shortly afterwards … they left.
As for cousin and her hubby, that deserves a post of its own.
As for the money issue. Most of the women didn’t work or had low end jobs. Husbands either didn’t work or worked like a slave. And every single one of them spent like fool. Cars, phones, tv’s … tech of all sorts. Food, drink, clothing … everything imaginable. So … mostly employed … middle to moderate income … basically MIDDLE CLASS … spending like there is no tomorrow. Basically other than Gramps and wife … I’d imagine most of the rest of them were broke or nearly so.
The weirdest thing was the cousin’s daughter … neither boy showed up. But the daughter did … with a 6 mo old infant. Girl is obese. Late 20s or maybe 30 … and 300 lbs with tits that sagged like you wouldn’t believe … no muscle tone at all. And a stupid, brainwashed libtard. Worked as a “special ed” teacher. Probably has 50K in student debt to make near minimum wage watching kids. Which is all she complained about. Sorta.
Another 30 something woman was there too. I never did figure out what the relationship was … so I had to ask the GF. Turns out cousin’s daughter and mystery woman were knocked up by the same guy. Lets call him Alpha Asshole. When cousins daughter … on the 1-10 scale … maybe a 4 … got knocked up because she fucked a Alpha Asshole way outta her range … she asked around and like all Alpha Assholes … he’d fucked lots of other moron women … all looking for the same Alpha Asshole. So she found and befriended another woman who’d he fucked 12 years earlier and had a daughter with. Alpha asshole had apparently men Alpha man hating cunt and they were married with other kids and she was making his life miserable and they were sucking him dry with child support. Didn’t understand the dynamic until the GF laid it out for me.
The mystery woman was probably a 5 … no, compared to other one a 6. 12 years ago she was probably a 7. Now … she was a 6 and might still be a 7 compared to all the fatties except every time she opened her mouth all that came out was ENTITLEMENT !!! Me, me, me, me … please all your morons just recognize that I’m the princess of the universe so … me, me, and more me.
Of course, mystery girl had the soy boy in tow. Was actually kinda funny. The 12 year old girl who was just getting curves and boobs and discovering her sexual power. At 12 they had to leave so she could visit her boyfriend. No shit. And the really funny part was step-dad if you could call soy boy that … don’t think they were married … actually tried to put his foot down when she showed up wearing a “thong” bikini. And got over-ruled by all the women there and since there were no men … it was him against the crowd so he caved. His words … “its inappropriate” … inappropriate … inappropriate … inappropriate, kept repeating it. Yeah … his 12 yr old step daughter prancing around practically naked … string in the back and a little bit of material in the front and she probably didn’t have any pubic hair to even hide … yet. That all went down prior so I didn’t get to see it. But with the teenie tiny bikini she was in … can’t imagine it left much to the imagination. And the worst … all the women voted him down … a 12 year old should be able to act like a whore if she wants too !!!
Jesus.
And … now for the cousin’s son’s wife. Hard to follow ? Yeah. So … thought she was Mexican when I first saw her. And before I did … the GF was bitching about how she managed to stay so skinny after having so many kids. Skinny, skinny, skinny. Lol, never heard her talk about anyone like that before. Jealous. AND IT WAS TRUE.
This chick was hot as fuck. Smooth buttery brown skin. Tight little titties, wore some sort of sports bra that held her tits tight, with a t shirt over it. Had some tight little shorts that hugged her ass. Nice looking face though her teeth weren’t perfect or anything. Ponytail. In and out of the pool all day … dripping wet. Kinda reminded me of the nurse I used to see. Probably 5-3 and 115 lbs. Sexuality just dripped off of her. Could see why every other girl in the vicinity got jealous.
Turns out she is a Philippines immigrant and grew up here. I’d heard that some girls from the Philippines are knockouts and now I can see why. Her hubby didn’t show because he was working a 12 hour shift on the holiday to make extra money to support his family.
See, this hottie was a stay at home mom … and had already had 5 kids. All boys. No shit. This chick was hotter than 95% of all american women … mostly because american women are pigs … after she’d already had 5 kids. Turns out that cousin’s son and her met at 17 in high school … paired up right away … got married and started pushing out the kids. The girl was probably around 30 … kinda hard to tell … had 5 boys under the age of 10. And her hubby was working as a slave to support her and his kids.
Toward the end of the evening, we started to chat and I think she was attracted to me. Haha or maybe because I was the only male with a dick (soy boy didn’t count). Or maybe she just knows how to manipulate males. Don’t matter … would I fuck her. Damn right I would.
So for cousin and her hubby … interesting dynamic. First … as for cousin … we got along great. Really liked her … super friendly. So the rest of this may sound horrible but I don’t mean it to be.
See, she probably weighed close to 350 lbs. Just fucking gross. She’s probably 5-4 and her hubby is probably close to 6ft and weighs less than 200 lbs. He’s kinda skinny kinda average, actually in pretty good shape for his age. She’s a pig. He looks good. And he probably hasn’t fucked his own wife in 20 yrs.
And this is a dynamic I’ve seen before, unfortunately. She cuts him off and what’s he gonna do ? CAN YOU SAY DIVORCE RAPE ? So she pushes it even further. She’s gotta have the latest phone and cell plan and an iphone and a ipad and directtv and netflix and clothes and makeup and massages once a week. So he counters with a truck and boat and a camper and the latest computer and the fastest internet connect. Basically they try to out-spend one another … since he will never get laid and works his ass off … he might as well get toys to play with. Fishing this weekend … check. Hunting in the fall … check.
Seen the dynamic before. Chick gets fat. Refuses sex. Demands toys. Dude won’t end it. Demands his toys too. Neither will end it. Both end up broke.
And I know this sounds horrible … but they really don’t hate each other. I actually liked both of them. And this behavior dynamic can go on for years too. I haven’t seen it play out to its end game though. Probably isn’t very nice. Whoever dies the first wins, I’d guess.
Guess I’ll end this with one final observation. We traveled by car nearly 6 hours to get to the BIG CITY. So saw some stuff that we normally don’t see. Like mixed race couples. Lots of them. Don’t see them around here much, not in my neighborhood anyway. But we did get out besides the pool party and they were noticeable. Mostly I noticed the women. White women with black babies. Or white women with mixed babies. And black women with white babies. Black women with black babies. Not many men, of course, which seems to be the new norm. Women with babies … no men around.
And its kinda funny how the generations view this stuff differently too. One of the cousin’s that didn’t show … married an “African” woman. They made that distinction, “African” and not “African American”. They all said she was pretty but a gold digger (which is normal of course, he had money … if they don’t like her … they call her a gold digger). They’d been married quite a while by now and had a couple of kids who were older now and both very attractive. White features with darker skin.
The Gramma hated the boy who married the “African” and hated the kids too. Just a racist hater. Most of the rest didn’t really care … the younger they were, the less they cared. But most were glad that at least she wasn’t an African American or a typical american black. Everyone seems to think those people are crap. Cousin even recounted a story where one of her coworkers takes the local public transport. And strips her rings and watch and hides her cellphone when she gets on the train. And won’t look at anyone while riding it. Every day on the way to work and back. And the coworker is Black herself. American blacks are angry and have no respect for anyone and prey on other blacks as well as whites. Everyone hates them … even other normal blacks.
Anyway, was another observation I made. Nobody trusts american blacks. Foreign born blacks might be ok to everyone but hardcore racists … and nobody can cure that. Haters gonna hate. Anyway, kinda weird to experience. Never seen so many single mothers with mixed race kids. Maybe that’s the new normal.
And I’ll shut up now. Things with the GF went fine. I actually got along with all her extended family … no matter how much I just bitched about them. So all is good.
@mega
two things.
first:
“i’m here” was in response to @love’s question about where the men are.
second:
after reading your replies about your experience with “the Fam”, all i can say is…
RUN!
FML – our families don’t have to define us. shoot, if my family of origin defined me, i might as well just kill myself and end it all now!
Mega – very interesting. family stuff is family stuff most everywhere, it seems.
that 12 year old girl wearing a string bikini and having a boyfriend – and the women supporting her?! that’s sick. beyond sick. the poor girl doesn’t have hardly a prayer.
no men around. tragic. sad. obese women drove them away. if their women were hot, they’d be there – unless they had to work like the one you mentioned.
interesting what draws people together – like, we all have the same baby daddy!
interesting on the mixed race couples. what region of the country do you live in? just curious – it seems to be more acceptable in some places than others, and certainly more acceptable in the cities.
american blacks have given themselves a terrible reputation. the good ones do hate the bad ones. about 25+ years ago i worked in a corp office in a big city with two black girls. one was good and normal, and the other was just selfish, entitled. one day she stole a role of paper towels – no lie – a stupid roll of paper towels, because she said the company ‘owed’ her.
loved the story about the grandfather asking you and then your GF the same question – in front of you! that’s awesome 🙂
FML … neither the GF or I are anything like that crap. We both just sat there and took all the craziness in and recognized it for what it is. We are older, not having any kids … it will be just her and I … all that other shit is just a distraction you deal with a couple of times a year, if that.
And hope this isn’t over your head but the whole point of me posting all that … is … our society is so screwed up right now … what I just described is actually considered normal for a white middle class family.
Is that fucked up ? Hell yeah it is.
Wow Mega lol…. well at least your GF is normal right?
After that weekend… makes you feel better LOLl
“that 12 year old girl wearing a string bikini and having a boyfriend – and the women supporting her?! that’s sick. beyond sick. the poor girl doesn’t have hardly a prayer.”
Ame, it sort reminded me of when I was a soccer coach years ago. I coached 7th and 8th grade boys. And that is a weird time for boys … the more mature 8th graders were like teenagers … the less advanced 7th graders were still innocent children. So this was like that … the girl was on the innocent end of the spectrum, still a child. Not a woman. A child. She didn’t understand really what was going on and the power of her sexuality. Really, just a child being dressed like a whore and paraded in front of everyone practically naked. Where was her mother ? Not saying anything. Where was her father (surrogate) … being over ruled by the mob. What made it worse was all the women urging her on. Just … yuck !
Mega – that breaks my heart. mothers compete through their children. it’s wrong. we all do it on some level, but hopefully we check ourselves and stop. most don’t, though, and it’s devastating on the kids.
twelve year olds really don’t know what’s going on with their body or why it’s so powerful. her obese mother is using her daughter to try to prove her own worth, and nothing good will come out of it.
may God have mercy on this young girl’s soul and heart and body, and may He reach the mother before she brings more devastation on her own daughter.
@ Mega, wow! Quite the vacation. And sadly as you say all too common these things are today. Good observations!
Really? Bloody Really?
The CBC…our government sponsored broadcaster\newspaper
http://www.cbc.ca/life/wellness/the-more-the-merrier-new-study-suggests-polyamorists-may-have-more-satisfying-relationships-1.4681382
“While this is only the tip of the iceberg as far as beginning to understand the circumstances and consequences of different types of consensual non-monogamous relationships, hopefully these findings and others help to erode the perception and stigma of non-monogamy so it can begin to be seen as a healthy (and sometimes more satisfactory) alternative to the traditional relationship.”
Lets repeat that…our Government! wanting Unfaithfulness
“To be seen as a healthy and more satisfying ALTERNATIVE to the traditional relationship!!
Forget thge morality for a second. How does this address plunging birthrates or labour participation rate? Steady, devoted LTR is the Only incentive for either!!!
Àaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
(How does that Canuck anthem go again? The true North proud and Swedish!!!)
Horseman, what did you expect? Sanity? Surely not from the brain dead.
Hey, hey! ““To be seen as a healthy and more satisfying ALTERNATIVE to the traditional relationship!!” Then men should go back to correct Biblical relationships, multiple wives, harems and concubines!
thought this may contribute to the discussion in a small way, oldish but still a good read:
https://www.news-medical.net/news/2005/07/28/12082.aspx
men should go back to correct Biblical relationships, multiple wives, harems and concubines!
…….
Been advocating that for a goodly while now
Horseman,
I tried to look up the author. I think it is a pseudonym. Hard to believe your tax dollars are going to promote polyamory. One woman and multiple men has to be the most reproductively inefficient structure I can think of. With monogamy, you have one dead bedroom. With polyamory, a woman can make that number as big as she wants.
‘Then men should go back to correct Biblical relationships, multiple wives, harems and concubines!’
You better read what going that route did to the wisest man on earth, Solomon.
“You better read what going that route did to the wisest man on earth, Solomon.”…Earl, not I wasn’t thinking HUNDREDS of talky, bitchy females like ol’ Solly had, just a few dozen or so. Any of them get out of line too much just trade her off for a talking donkey.
Earl, besides…Solly actually married a bunch of them. He was wise in that he probably kept them in separate housing for some peace and quiet
LOL Larry! you crack me up!!!
ol’ Solly! lol!
‘you’re out, woman! my talking donkey is taking your place!’ lol!
i have no doubt! if he was as wise as is reported, surely he hired people to manage all those women for him and maintained a separate abode for a good night’s rest 🙂
Too much is probably just too much — of anything! A Chinese emperor who had as many concubines as days of the year and who had to visit a different one every night said it became a living hell. I wonder if rock stars ever feel like that? After awhile seems like even endless nameless poon would get old.
As for the poly study, I am sure it stressed equality w all that? I have never seen that work out irl. Maybe one guy w several “wives” old school worked (Again it did in China for centuries) but open relationships? No.
Bloom – polygyny is something i can’t wrap my head around. i accept it. i know it works for some – like Ton and his girls. but it needs a VERY strong man to manage multiple women 🙂
and it takes a different kind of woman than i to share a man 🙂
however … i can say that the idea of sharing household chores, sharing raising children, each working within their strengths and helping one another in their weaknesses, and having someone to share life with in various ways *sounds* appealing … but not enough to ‘share’ one man 😉
and, yes, too much of anything is just … too much!
kinda like the grass is greener – it *looks* like it’d be fun, but living it seems like it would be like eating cotton candy three meals a day without end.
A new post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/05/31/the-green-light/
Well ole Solly’s problem is that his numerous wives took him away from God.
That makes any man dumb.
And I have yet to see where polygamy brings a man closer to God. If anything it turns them more nuts.
However I will also concede that one woman could also do the same thing.
‘you’re out, woman! my talking donkey is taking your place!’ lol!
……..
Yeah that’s part of it.
However I will also concede that one woman could also do the same thing.
…….
The number of things that will pull a man away from God is beyond measure, though sex is probably near the top but I don’t think it’s sex per say. I reckon it’s more about lack of frame/ priority of fire
“but it needs a VERY strong man to manage multiple women 🙂”
No kidding.
If you know where to look for these kinds of things, you’ll see Muslim women confessing that they harbor dreams and fantasies of killing off the other wife (the older one or a young one, it doesn’t seem to matter).