Tags
battle of the sexes, break up, break ups, breakup, breakups, divorce, red pill, separation, single parenting
I got some sad news yesterday that a couple I know has separated and is on the path to divorce. Their son is 11-years-old.
They did not marry until later in life, late 40s. He is a chemist with a well-paying job working for a large company, she was a former housekeeper and has been a stay at home wife and then mom since they married close to a dozen years ago now.
They hadn’t planned on becoming parents, so the news they were going to have a baby came as a shock. She was nearly 50 at the time, although both seem and act a decade younger. Their son is a very bright child, charming and well mannered. Even so I suppose becoming a parent by choice versus by accident is a different experience, and she struggled to be happy about it, or her marriage.
As far as I could see, a big part of their issues come from her attitude. She’s constantly focused on the negatives and has complained about the marriage and threatened divorce nearly from the start. Frankly, she’s a miserable person and difficult to be around.
One day, after walking me thru their home and describing all the remodeling projects she had underway, once again she started in on how she wasn’t haaaaapy, he wasn’t this or that, she was sick of it, and she may as well get a divorce.
Perhaps because I was a single mom she expected me to be on board. So I think she was a bit shocked when I pointed out how lucky she was that her biggest problem seemed to be what color of tile to choose while I was each and every month panicking about how I would pay the mortgage and other bills and not lose our home. I told her she had no idea how hard life as a single mom can be. At the time she actually thanked me for providing some perspective, and I urged her to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. And to not create problems that were not there.
This was over a year ago. Unfortunately it sounds like she continued with the picking apart of the marriage and after years and years of it, he snapped. He said he was tired of the constant complaining, moved out to an apartment nearby, and has no interest in going back.
According to our mutual friend, it did not occur to the wife that HE might be the one to check out, and she is now desperately trying to get him to change his mind to no avail. She’s now panicking at the thought of being on her own, having to get a job, possibly living alone for the rest of her life. Easy street has come to an abrupt end. What color of tile to pick is no longer all she has to worry about.
I know several other women who share this same attitude toward their marriage, always picking it apart, never happy, constantly complaining. I suppose it is an easy habit to get into, but a very destructive one. They literally create problems that are not there. Only thinking about themselves, me, me, me. (If perhaps you have fallen into this trap, please stop it TODAY!)
For the record her husband is a good man. Smart. Faithful. Good looking. Steady. No major deal breaker flaws for sure. She could do a lot worse. Much. As far as I can see, there really isn’t any reason for her unhappiness except her own mental roadblock. And I would be willing to bet that mental roadblock will remain, she will continue to be negative and unhappy, but will no longer have the husband to blame. (Hopefully it will not then transfer to the son, who my heart breaks for having to go through all this.)
Ladies, happiness is an inside job. Don’t be foolish like this woman, tearing your house down with your own hands. That good man may just decide better to live in the corner of an attic with a leaky roof than spend one more day listening to a nagging, complaining wife. And at that point, as this woman has found, it may be too late.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
@ RPG, Fnu Mnu Lnu, Earl, Ton
Thank you for support. Hanging in here.
Ame,
Cinderella was:
Kind.
Thoughtful.
Helpful.
Cared for those who could not care for themselves.
Humble.
Worked very hard.
Pretty.
Generous.
Sacrificing
In other words a complete illusion, a unicorn and an animated movie character, definitely NOT a standard issue US modern female. Out of the 9 Cinderella attributes listed, I would bet 99.9% of American females would score zero to maybe one, tops.
It’s interesting how “out group” people tend to find the manosphere. Or the manosphere finds them.
Alan
Several of the farms keep donkeys with the herd both horses and cows.
They are one of the few herd animals that challenge call predators so the owner is alerted by the breying.
I have seen the remnants of a coyote that messed with a donkey. Whole herd of 2000 lb warmbloods fled in terror and a little 300 lb juvenile donkey cleaned house.
And ponr? Yup. Just Stop. You cease to exist.
Cinderella was also a doormat to her crap family. She badly needed to grow up and stand up for herself.
“Cinderella was also a doormat to her crap family. She badly needed to grow up and stand up for herself.” Seriously? That was a CARTOON!
That’s what I thought too while reading Larry’s comment. They don’t call it a fairytale for nothing.
Here now, what is this un-PC crap? “Fairy” tale?????? Oh hell no, LGBQT Story if you please
Um, pk…”Cinderella was also a doormat to her crap family.” And Snow White lived way off the grid and had seven-somes with midgets..
“Ladies, happiness is an inside job. Don’t be foolish like this woman, tearing your house down with your own hands.”
This is what we in the South (of the US) call “grandma advice”. The kind of stuff young ladies would hear from their grandmas in the days of old. Nowadays young ladies prefer to get their advice from Sex and the City reruns lol.
It’s interesting how “out group” people tend to find the manosphere. Or the manosphere finds them.
You don’t necessarily need to be part of the our group. All you really need is to realize that things are not really right, some willingness to buck the supposed smart set, combined with a bit of intelligence.
Cinderella was also a doormat to her crap family. She badly needed to grow up and stand up for herself.
Doing that wasn’t always so easy back in those fairy tale days
Smart. Faithful. Good looking. Steady.
Hmmm…what could possibly be her complaint?
For example, I wonder what SHE would consider being “steady”?
I’m seeing a lot of dysfunction lately in married couples around me…very imbalanced dynamics, especially for the ones who are smart, faithful, good-looking, and steady.
The Careful What You Wish For meme very much applies to the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) right now – as they seem to be going through some sort of insurrection.
The Careful What You Wish For meme very much applies to those who are re-writing, re-purposing, re-imagining what God has actually said.
The following links (at Boxer and Dalrock) are a bit off-topic, but fit into the overall warning to be careful what you wish for . Both links are directly addressing what the Bible says about how him and her are to relate to each other in the context of marriage – even though they come at it from different directions.
If you have the time and the inclination, I think the thoughts expressed in both of these links will provide some backstory to many of the points made here. The links open in the middle of the threads to comments I want to draw your attention to. But you can scroll up and read from the start of the thread if you are interested. Both threads are interesting and relevant. The first link starts with comment I made. The second link hits the nail directly on the head in a way that I have not seen before around these parts.
What Creates a Biblical Marriage?
Biblical Requirements for Leadership
@ farm boy it’s interesting to me most here seem to be among the “scarce” personality types by Meyers Briggs testing. The ones who question reality?!? Lol.
@pedat indeed. A friend who is a psychologist explains it this way, “The human mind is designed to face problems. If there aren’t problems, it will create them.” His advice was to create good problems on purpose… train for a marathon, engage in a hobby, learn a new language or skill. Otherwise the mind will create self destructive problems like in this example…
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In other words a complete illusion, a unicorn and an animated movie character, definitely NOT a standard issue US modern female. Out of the 9 Cinderella attributes listed, I would bet 99.9% of American females would score zero to maybe one, tops.
yes … but it’s a great goal to attain to.
i don’t have a problem letting girls watch fairy tales … as long as they know it’s a fairy tale … and that with great privilege comes great responsibility … and that if one desires privilege (at least in our home) then they must demonstrate responsibility, first 🙂
there are a lot of kids who grow up doormats in crap families.
copperfox – that’s actually from the bible 🙂
Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
Farm Boy
5h ago
Cinderella was also a doormat to her crap family. She badly needed to grow up and stand up for herself.
Doing that wasn’t always so easy back in those fairy tale days
Farm Boy – you are so right. and it’s not easy, if one finds themselves in such a situation these days, either.
A friend who is a psychologist explains it this way, “The human mind is designed to face problems. If there aren’t problems, it will create them.” His advice was to create good problems on purpose… train for a marathon, engage in a hobby, learn a new language or skill. Otherwise the mind will create self destructive problems like in this example…
that’s very interesting, Bloom. i think there’s a lot of depth and truth to that.
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48
@ Ame and CopperFox3c, yes! As is this one:
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24.
Lots of good solid life wisdom in Proverbs. A chapter a night would make for good recommended reading, imho.
A friend of mine said when her parents divorced at age 8, she felt like her whole world ended. It angers me how ridiculously selfish and completely naive this woman is. Grrrrr…..
adults are so short-sighted when it comes to the affects of our choices on children … or perhaps we’re just too selfish to allow ourselves to see the truth?
divorce ALWAYS hurts children.
using the platitude, “Children are resilient,” is just a way to make adults feel better.
sure, God made us pliable and resilient to survive, but God will not be mocked, and we will be held accountable for the choices we make. i honestly do not understand all of how that will play out, but i do know it’s true.
btw – my parents divorced when i was in my 40’s, and it still sucked … and still sucks. i hate it. i sat in my sister’s family room recently with my mom, my dad, and his witch. i hated it. it is not normal. my dad’s not prize, and he’s been an abusive jerk over the years, but my mom was never any better. she was wrong to leave him. their divorce caused and will continue to cause negative ripple effects for all of us.
@ Ame I am sure the parents tell themselves two happy homes are better than one unhappy one. Or better than the conflict and fighting. It’s a cop out but people say such things all the time.
Thing is as even you have found, it’s never over. And in all but a few cases it’s not better, or easier. What would be best for their son is to see them act like grown ups and figure it out.
I’d bet you if Cinderella did the empowered get out of doormat route…she’d have no prince charming either.
But it is a fairy tale after all…I could be overthinking it.
I am not sure Cinderella had much choice in life w/ her stepmom and stepsisters, except to choose to have a good attitude. I think that may be the moral of the story — she was rewarded for doing the right thing while her stepsisters (and stepmom) did not win, despite their manipulative and self-serving ways.
Cinderella might have just turned into another evil stepmom or stepsister and they’d all live alone together in misery.
Cinderella was also a doormat to her crap family. She badly needed to grow up and stand up for herself.
………..
Yeah…. And not land the prince but whatever
The human mind is designed to face problems. If there aren’t problems, it will create them.” His advice was to create good problems on purpose… train for a marathon, engage in a hobby, learn a new language or skill. Otherwise the mind will create self destructive problems like in this example…
……….
I dropped out of high school and been saying that exact same thing for how lonng now?
What a waste of college debt
Lol Ton, agreed but they do require a degree to do what he does. He specializes in phobias and such now (spends his days putting folks in dark boxes or near spiders and such) but before that he worked for the military doing psych screenings for special forces candidates. He has some pretty interesting stories, for sure! He said the ideal candidate it one hair short of actually psychotic! Lol. He said those guys were awesome amazing people, unless of course you were their target.
Also been saying that and again I dropped out of high school
I do remember you saying that, and how in your relationships you cause drama before the girls get a chance to! Smart!
it is shocking how many people think that college debt is okay.
i always took Aspie Girl into the school the week before a new year began so we could meet her lead sped teachers and find out how they planned the year for her. when i did that before she began her freshman year of high school, the sped dept head for the 5A school asked her about college, to which she replied that college debt was not an option. that woman was shocked!
and i was thinking … these are SPECIAL ED kids who may or may not be able to get a job where they can pay back those stupid loans, and you are encouraging them to take on debt?!!! idiot!
didn’t matter … she made other stupid decisions, and i withdrew her after two weeks and we haven’t looked back. her class just graduated, and she got to miss all that stupidity.
but that’s how the public school system works … get into debt and be beholden to the govt for forever … because … COLLEGE!!!
i’m tired of drama. i’d be delighted to be rid of drama. i’ll export my drama to Ton 😉 LOL!
Maybe if she stood up to her family then she wouldn’t have been blessed with a fairy godmother who was the reason she went to ball so she could meet said prince.
Otherwise I don’t know how it translates into not landing him.
Last I read they had a pretty good work up on who was most likely to pass, down to birth order, PT scores, age….. I mean the list was long as hell but if I recall it wasn’t all that useful by and large since lots of guys defy expectations…… I was everything on their list but birth order…… I want to recall the best two factors were PT score and previous job in the military…. And oddly enough a PT score over a certain point was positively correlated to passing.
* was not. To good at PT was almost as likely to fail as to low of a score
Hmmm, I think your notify of new comments may not be working properly ;-D
lol yup. My niece, the one who has been hospitalized twice for her problems had the same kind of thing. The family is just hoping she stays out of jail, off drugs, the streets etc
Because men don’t like the bitch/ yet I ain’t a bitch act you push on the regular
At the time Cinderella was written, an orphan who is basically being kept by a step family would not have had many options, nor education or skills to strike out on her own and support herself. The Stepmother and stepsisters basically got her inheritance, and she got a corner in the attic.
But yes, it is also a tale that plays into the hypergamy idea — even a poor orphan who is mistreated can end up marrying a prince!
no, even after he’s died, the divorce is never over … because it marks their souls.
and the cases where it’s better are VERY few.
i believe the bible does not give christian women the authority to divorce, but in the event they need to protect themselves and/or their children, i believe it gives them the ability to do so – by being separate but remaining single or being reunited to their husband. if that were the law, i think there’d be significantly fewer divorces initiated by women b/c they wouldn’t be looking for the greener pastures.
Ton, do you think standing up for yourself means you’re a bitch?
I am sure in the end it comes down to the “X” factor — they either have the mettle to endure or they drop out. That can be hard to predict in advance, but shakes out over time. A lot of it is mental ability to simply not give in or give up or to be able to focus on the goal in the midst of hardship.
b g before I replied directly to your comment and I know that will send a notification, but I am not sure how the follow all comments thing works. Did you click that and not get any notices?
ohhh, yes. i totally get that. my aspie girl is very impulsive and is not able to tell her peers no – she goes along with the crowd. i keep her in a very controlled environment.
i’ll tell you what i’ve done that seems to have worked – or so she says it did – because i needed to have something that would trigger her brain like alarm bells when in situations where she needed to make good choices – something that would override all the circumstances and her emotions and her impulses. apparently it worked – but that coupled with her highly controlled environment, imo, has kept her on the straight and narrow so far.
i never told my girls *not* to do anything like drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. i always told them they had a choice and that i would not be there when that choice was presented. however, IF they chose to do drugs, or drink, or have sex … here’s what i would do:
1. if i got a call they were doing drugs or alcohol, i’d call the cops on them first.
2. i’d empty their rooms of everything except a pillow, a blanket, and 3 changes of clothes.
3. they would have to work to earn my trust again.
and they believed me. i made sure to make rules with consequences, and enforce those consequences over the years, so they knew that when Mama said something, she meant business.
and they i prayed and prayed i’d never have to follow up!
also … for my aspie girl, i told her that if she did certain things, once she got to be a certain age they’d stick her in jail … and if they did that, i’d let her spend the night and get myself a good night’s rest before picking her up the next day. i made sure she knew what jail and juvie would look like and feel like. i even took her down to the police station when she was in middle school and let her talk to the school officer (who was wonderful about all this). that officer gave her a tour of the interrogation rooms and the jail.
i didn’t hound her on this stuff. i just made it matter-of-fact. like wash your hair when you take a shower. did you brush your teeth. if i find out you’ve been drinking or doing drugs, i’m calling the police on you and them emptying your room and then getting a good night’s sleep.
recently we were with someone who was talking about consequences, and she said,”Oh, I know all about consequences! If I ever drank or did drugs, my Mom was going to call the police on me! She never told me not to do them, she just told me what the consequences would be if I did!” and i was thinking, “Whew! I’m sooo glad that worked!!!”
btw – if her parents would ever like another mom to talk to, feel free to give them my email address.
Reading up on the tale…what I learned from this rendetion is to not marry a proud and haughty woman. She’ll bring up equally terrible daughters. Sounds like his first wife had the better demeanor.
‘Cendrillon, by Perrault
One of the most popular versions of Cinderella was written in French by Charles Perrault in 1697, under the name Cendrillon. The popularity of his tale was due to his additions to the story, including the pumpkin, the fairy-godmother and the introduction of “glass” slippers.
A wealthy widower marries a proud and haughty woman as his second wife. She has two daughters, who are equally vain and selfish. The gentleman has a beautiful young daughter, a girl of unparalleled kindness and sweet temper. The man’s daughter is forced into servitude, where she is made to work day and night doing menial chores. After the girl’s chores are done for the day, she curls up near the fireplace in an effort to stay warm. She often arises covered in cinders, giving rise to the mocking nickname “Cinderella” by her stepsisters. Cinderella bears the abuse patiently and does not tell her father, who would have scolded her.’
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella
Given that track record…she shouldn’t stand up for herself. She’ll eventually turn into the evil stepsister. It’s all about what personality traits men find appealing…not what your feelz find appealing.
Ugh those are the worst types to deal with! My sister and mother in law are just like that and it sucks.
Crazy how unappreciative some women can be, not realizing how much harder it is doing things on your own. Being raised by a single parent myself, it’s like having 4 full time jobs.
Kudos to you for biting your 👅 lol
❤️❤️
Lol also is there any potential for you and this guy? He sounds like a catch!
‘Les see here, “Proud, haughty and arrogant”? Check. “Loud, brassy and obnoxious”? Check. “Vulgar, insulting and a 100% gold plated bitch”? Check. “Single at 64 and has 5 cats who regularly run away or shit on the floor”? Check. “Accurate description of my sister who I hope stays far the fuck away from me”? CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!!!!!!
Don’t you just love family?
https://www.memecenter.com/fun/2118053/time-to-become-a-crazy-cat-lady
RPG, I seem to be getting a repeat of all comments every couple of minutes. Is it possible to deactivate the notify me of new comments. Hmmm, just checked again, maybe it has finally stopped now. Not a real problem, just a minor annoyance.
my Oldest daughter loves fairy tales and history and has done extensive research on all fairy tales, where they originated, how they evolved over time, etc. so i showed her this discussion and asked her to write out her comments. this is what she wrote (of which i am exceedingly proud for many reasons!):
The story that we now call “Cinderella” has general roots in almost every prominent, and many less prominent, cultures around the world. While the details of the story change according to the values and sentiments of the culture, the Cinderella character generally remains the same. She is characterized by her natural kindness and goodness, often inherited from her birth mother, in contrast to the vanity and selfishness of her stepmother and stepsister or stepsisters, which vary in number depending on the version of the story, though two seems to be a common number. Her father, if he is mentioned, is either dead or completely under the thumb of the wicked stepmother. Her stepfamily forces her to do menial chores that they refuse to do while they squander what they have in vain attempts to become more attractive. The reason that she does not leave this toxic environment is simple, where else can she go? This is her family, the only on that she has, and her options are stay there (the devil she knows), leave and be at the mercy of the world (the devil she does not know), or “stand up for herself” to her stepmother and/or her father and either be severely punished or thrown out. She does the best with what she has.
As for “going to the ball by magic to find her prince,” normally she only goes to the ball due to the intervention of a fairy godmother figure or the spirit of her deceased mother. The “finding her prince” part almost always happens by accident, with the prince (or king or nobleman in some editions) immediately noticing her for her beauty, which is shown through her aforementioned goodness and kindness. She usually has to leave the party either through recognition by her stepfamily or because of a predetermined time limit. Despite this, the man that fell in love with her at the party determinedly finds her through her shoe which will fit no other woman than her. The two of them are married and live happily ever after while her stepfamily is drastically punished in some way by either the fairy godmother figure or by the new husband of the Cinderella character. All in all, the fairytale Cinderella is about persevering throughout the harsh times, even when those who are supposed to protect you are the ones that are inflicting the most damage, and the rewards that can come from being good and kind.
@aa I am now happily taken. 🙂 so some other lucky gal will have him. If he’s not bitter and jaded entirely after all that, anyway.
B g hopefully that resolves the comment spamming! I never sign up comment updates for that reason… less hassle to just check in when I can catch up. Welcome aboard and thanks for commenting!
@aa plus whoever gets w him would have to deal w her as the ex! No thanks!
@aa I think that day I schooled her I may have even said then if she didn’t want him I was sure some single mom like myself would be happy to snatch him up! 😉
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-we-need-mens-voices-and-wallets-to-help-women-in-domestic-crisis/
“The simple part: Strengthening Ties is looking for 50 men across the country to make a $3,000 commitment over three years to Women’s Shelters Canada. They also agree to be advocates speaking out against domestic violence; that, perhaps, is trickier than writing a cheque.”
No it will go to the ONE, As in SINGLE, Only shelter for men in Canada.
https://menandfamilies.org
Nothing says more about the divide than this.
Men are beaters, men are never victims…..oh we need men’s money.
Bloom check moderation please
“my Oldest daughter loves fairy tales and history and has done extensive research on all fairy tales, where they originated, how they evolved over time, etc. so i showed her this discussion and asked her to write out her comments. this is what she wrote (of which i am exceedingly proud for many reasons!):”
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
AWWWWWWW AME!!!! That is so awesome what she wrote!!!! Please tell her I admire her so much – such a smart young lady!
I have to say…. as ridiculous as it may sound
I also really like fairy tales. I mean… I know they’re not real (LOL) but they’re just so sweet and romantic and full of goodness (usually) and consequences and good triumphing over evil (usually).
And historically, they were A LOT harsher than the disney versions.
I mean… Ariel (the Little Mermaid) gets turned into SEA FOAM for disobeying her father in the real story. In the Disney version, the actual events are a lot different.
Ame,
That is a very good essay from your daughter. There are plenty of college graduates these days who can’t write anywhere near that well.
I enjoy an entertaining story as well. In them, there is good and there is evil, and good usually wins. Different from reality where many people are a mixture of good and evil, and sometimes you don’t know what’s what and sometimes the bad guys win, sometimes the good guys win, sometimes no one wins. I think that fact is what bothers a lot of people.
‘I mean… Ariel (the Little Mermaid) gets turned into SEA FOAM for disobeying her father in the real story. In the Disney version, the actual events are a lot different.’
Funny how the story changed when the original had things like the daughter disobeying or rebelling from her father led to bad consequences. It’s still true today but daughters often hear they should do the opposite.
i think what’s interesting about fairy tales is how dark many of them were, and they were told to children. more from my daughter (just what i could type fast enough as she shared more details with me! amazing what she knows!):
“We think of fairy tales today as just something to read, but back then [when they were originated] they were cautionary tales, tales of morality, and what to do and what not to do. Most fairy tales were originally created for adults. They were stories where the good guy won against all odds, and the bad guy lost and was punished for his wrong-doings, and since that didn’t happen a lot in real life, they were inspiring. Fairy tales were first oral, not written, and writing fairy tales and stories for children is an extremely recent idea. The Brother’s Grim, though dark, were written for children in the early 1800’s.”
Thank you Stephanie! I admire her so much, too!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thank you, David! yes, she is an excellent writer as is very passionate about writing. but she’s also a voracious reader and has been since third grade when they finally admitted she is dyslexic and began helping her with that. just weeks after she began take special classes for dyslexia, her reading took off, and she hasn’t stopped.
also, speaking with proper grammar is expected in our home which, i believe, translates into good writing.
my Aspie-Girl is also dyslexic though extremely so, and while she had seven years of dyslexia special classes in public school (which were excellent, btw, in the two districts we were in), it is still difficult for her to transcribe her thoughts to something permanent.
@ earl I never liked the Disney version of Little Mermaid for that very reason — she risks the safety and future of her whole community with her rebellion etc. It sends a lot of bad messages — don’t listen to your father/parents, make deals with the dark side, the ends justifies the means, etc.
The comments below are a discussion of what the Protestan Bible says. I am not stating what is univerally correct. I am stating what the Protestant Bible says, for those who adhere to it.
@ame said: i believe the bible does not give christian women the authority to divorce
It does grant that authority to wives: Male and Female Divorce re. Paul
Jewish writing uses many different kinds of rhetorical devices, and this is obvious in the Bible. Folks who don’t know this, and who insist on an absolute literal translation of such flowery writing often come to conclusions that were not intended by the actual writing.
Consider this phrase from the link I gave above: Paul speaking (yet not him, but God): … a husband must not divorce his wife. Divorce is specifically mentioned in the context of men here, so the concept of divorce and men must go together in the Bible.
Consider this phrase from the link I gave above: Paul speaking (yet not him, but God): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does … The word “divorce” is not used, so the concept of divorce and women do not go together in the Bible.
But consider the conclusion of that phrase directed to women: … she must remain unmarried. Still no use of the word “divorce”, so divorce and women must not go together in the Bible, right??.
That is what an absolute literal translation would lead one to conclude.
However, how does wife (the word used by Paul in that admonition) get to unmarried (the other word Paul used in that admonition) except by divorce?
Sometimes we have to think past what is written on the page to get at what is actually being said. Unfortunately, a lot of guys in the manosphere don’t understand this.
The Bible does not state anywhere that divorce is a sin. It does state that adultery is a sin. And it does state that remarriage after divorce creates adultry (except in circumstances specified in other verses). So it is the remarriage that creates the problem, Biblically, not the divorce.
Annndddddd … this is where the link to my comment at Boxer’s place given above (and repeated below) butts head-on into real life. God does not care that sinners sin. It is not this sin rather than that sin that will cause God to say Depart from me; I never knew you at the Judgement. (The thing that will cause God to say that is the failure to repent when called to repentence by the Holy Spirit.) So Paul’s admonition is not directed to the unredeemed. It was/is directed to the redeemed.
What Creates a Biblical Marriage
What is it that creates the union of which God says what I (God) have joined together, let not man put assunder? (If you haven’t read through what I wrote at that link, I encourage you to do so if you are interested in this issue.) Whatever it is, it is to the union of those whom God has joined together that Paul is directing his comment discussed above in this post. It does not, and cannot, apply to those unions which God has not joined together (regardless of whatever civil or religeous ceremony that union may have had). It does not matter if the unredeemed get divorced and remarried, or not. They remain unredeemed, no matter which path they follow.
my Aspie-Girl is also dyslexic though extremely so,
…….
Ain’t hurt me none. Because of a couple different learning disabilities I didn’t learn how to read until the 6th grade. Also didn’t hurt me none in the long term…….
I don’t really know what to make of certain things. I can see the advantage of formal schooling. I also see a metric shit ton of disadvantages and for dudes…. well school has been utterly femonized since the 70’s and I tend to think any man who has done well in school is basically a chick but the non school routes to making money get cut off all the times these days. Laws and economy of scale is making all of it an absolute bitch to start, especially if you don’t come from serious money
Not sure in 20 years my grandsons will be able to go out and own bars, use car lots, bike shops, garages, tattoo studios, trucking company’s, farms and mid-size manufacturing plants…….
No real point I reckon other then I appreciate what youngins are facing and even more so the broken and battered and not quite right ones
Ps, The Ton loves many of them old school pre Disney fairy tales.
Little merimad
King fuck face is the worse king in the history of made up stories
she really does fairly well if she doesn’t have to read long passages (they frustrate her) and if what she’s required to do isn’t totally dependent upon what she reads (because she mis-reads a lot). she does very well if she can read it out loud – reading out loud covers a multitude of sins 😉 . her comprehension level is super high. of course, reading out loud in a public school setting or many indoor work settings is not acceptable.
her biggest challenge is her bipolar with her extremely intense negative emotions. keeping her ‘engine’ from getting too high, and giving her the space to bring it down when it does – what they call self-medicating – takes up a lot of our time. the paradox to self-medicating is that while this was always their goal, “We want her to be able to self- medicate (manage her own emotion extremes well),” they also didn’t want to provide her the ability to do so. that’s how homeschooling has helped. she needs rhythmic movement to do so, and the best way she has available to her is to walk in large circles in our backyard, which she can do night or day. if i had the budget to do so i’d build a super-strong adult-type ‘playground’ in our backyard for her.
these next several months will be interesting. in texas we have a program for ‘disabled’ adults where they help identify useful, marketable skills and help them find and be successful in jobs. they have a lot of programs and eduction right now for autism, so they’ll be testing and evaluating her in a myriad of ways, in job settings and online, to try to find the best fit for her.
we’ll also be working on finishing up her schooling and getting her into a junior college to get some form of associates degree or certification for something.
– – –
i think one of the most challenging things for adults working with kids like this is their brain development curve. they have the ability to do and learn many things, but on their own schedule. that’s because our brains develop at different rates but the schools teach to the middle. so when you have a kid who is really smart but their brain development lags behind in key areas – such as reading and math – then they get lost out there. add in a kid who needs lots of movement to learn, and they’re just not equipped – nor do they want to be – to handle them. i think male teachers would be much better with kids like this than female b/c men are, by nature, more active and doing and less nurturing and coddling.
so, there are a lot of things i’ve focused on at home, and a lot of other things i’ve watched from a distance to see when her brain is developed enough to readily grasp it. to do this i’ve needed to be home with her – not working or in a career – and make her my career …. or i’d need to have the money to hire others to do this for me, which i don’t have.
i see long-term her grasping these things, just much slower than her peers, which has always been okay with me but a challenge for the ‘system.’
– – –
idk what the future has for kids coming out of school and going into the workforce. from my pov at my age, it’s very frustrating, so i try not to pass that onto my kids 🙂 . i have to remind myself that my perception of my future at that age was much different than my perception of the future of kids at that age, now.
King fuck face
LOL!
yep!
in texas we have a program for ‘disabled’ adults where they help identify useful, marketable skills and help them find and be successful in jobs. they have a lot of programs and eduction right now for autism, so they’ll be testing and evaluating her in a myriad of ways, in job settings and online, to try to find the best fit for
……
God bless Texas…. And y’all
The joys of lost industrial america and you fuckers who voted for the donkey and elephant are both to blame for this shit
lol another turning point shill site jaja
so many suckers buy into it
since i know no one’s watching for the actual song 😉
“God bless Texas…. And y’all”
LOL 😀 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
LOL
So true y’all
I’m in love with that cat!!!
lol!
i’ve driven thru west texas, and driven to almost west texas. i’m not very fond of it out there 😉
when the road signs say, “Beware of rattle snakes,” … i’m out!
LOL!
http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1121108-lgbtq
LOL back when we were hit with Hurricane Harvey
More Texan Cats
I should pull a Liz and change my pic to a cat face.
I would pick this cat face. The ultimate angry pissed off cat ❤
OMG y’all!!!!! They have Trumpy Cat!!!!!
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQImsKTQvhahLf806ZyHC0AbMvCNHlGkhKszhI_tvPprh2n40XJ
LOL, Stephanie! i’m not a cat person, at all, but those are some great pics!
Just wait until you see this!!!!!
It’s another cat rescued from our Houston, TX flood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have. Hands Down. The Baddest Cats in the US.
Gives whole new meaning to
“DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!”
Those are some tough looking cats, for sure! Lol. Poor things. Cats and water don’t mix very well…
Yeah, I’ve had three Labs that cannot understand cats. Most beat them get the hell out of their noses, but one old female cat allowed a puppy to carry her around to the warm sunny part of the house…the lab pup purred too ;-D