As I may have mentioned, I live in a rural area surrounded by farmland and small-acreage “country estates/hobby farms” owned by people who want to live a country lifestyle.
My place is surrounded on two sides by a family that has lived and farmed the area for generations. The father, widowed after 40+ years of marriage and now in his late 70s, lives with his bachelor brother on the original farm. His two sons, in their late 40s or early 50s, both own 40-acre hobby farms. They are a good family, solid church going folks who are upstanding citizen types.
Recently, the grandson announced he was engaged, and will be married this summer on the family property. He, his mom, and his bride-to-be stopped by to say hello a few weeks ago, sharing their good news.
I was immediately impressed by this young woman. She’s tall and fit with a curvy but athletic build. Her long brunette hair is styled in natural cascading waves, and I was not surprised to hear that she sometimes does modeling work. She was dressed stylishly but modestly, in clothes that fit and flattered. (She was conspicuously lacking in the tattoos, wild hair colors, piercings, and other fashion choices many gals her age are making these days.)
She’s bubbly, graceful, and well mannered. By no means shy or a doormat, but she’s also not at all overbearing. She’s got a regal confidence, the bearing of a true young lady. Classy. His mom beamed at her with pride, obviously smitten with her son’s choice of a future wife. All good signs that I was happy to see!
The son is a strapping young man. Thanks to working around the farm plus having very athletic parents, he’s pretty much the physical ideal example of a young man. I could not help but notice this the other day when he and his fiance stopped by to check in on cutting my hay field. Instead of the long sleeved shirt he had worn during the prior visit, this time he was in a loose tank top. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before but his biceps and chest were huge, the boy is solid muscle!
As the two bounded off to check the field, he and his eager helpmate, I thought what a dashing pair they make, so happy and carefree and obviously in love. Like his parents and his dads parents before that, I can see them married for life, building a life, and starting a family of their own.
I did not ask their ages or what they do, but my guess is they are recently out of college, in their early 20s. While others in their age group are sowing wild oats, these two are pairing up and settling down.
I thought what a smart cookie she was to choose wisely and well, marrying into a solid family, with a bright financial future. I have no doubt they will have a beautiful and fairly easy life. Charmed, even.
Like many of her age, she could instead be on Tinder, swiping and matching, putting everything into her career, going out to nightclubs and bars, keeping her options open, telling herself maybe she’ll settle down, “someday,” but for the time being wanting freedom, independence, empowerment, and lots of life experiences.
I wondered how she had happened to take the path less traveled, if it was just blind luck or if she consciously sought to find her mate, a good man from a good family who she loved with all her heart, and happily marry young? My bet is that it is a result of deliberate choices to be and do different than most of her peers, choices that are now paying off.
In any case, I think she’s wise. And I don’t see her doing anything but building upon the firm foundation she’s establishing. Like his mother who herself married wisely and well in her youth, I see a relatively carefree and easy road ahead for this girl rather than one filled with pain, struggle, and strife.
It makes me happy to see it and to share the tale — sometimes you see it working out, despite the odds, and it gives me hope that all is not lost. I hope other young ladies (including my own girls!) who hear her tale see the wisdom in doing different, and take the same path themselves!
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
‘My bet is that it is a result of deliberate choices to be and do different than most of her peers, choices that are now paying off.’
Probably good upbringing too.
True Earl, I ma curious to meet her family later this summer at the wedding. I will likely post an update when I do!
I doubt the girl realizes this, but the grandfather’s farm was long ago divided into five-acre lots. If the family ever decides to sell the land, or even part of it, its value is easily in the tens of millions of dollars! However, I did not at all get the sense she’s in it for the money. Her affection for him is too obviously genuine.
Fnu Mnu Lnu said:
Fnu Mnu Lnu said:
the problem is that people change over time. or more accurately, they become more of who they really were all along.
i hope that i am wrong, but the odds are stacked against them right from the beginning.
George Liquor American said:
” I hope other young ladies (including my own girls!) who hear her tale see the wisdom in doing different, and take the same path themselves!”
Generally depends on what or how their relationship with their father or any other masculine influence in their life is like.
George Liquor American said:
… if and only if a masculine influence in their life even exists at all.
eed, people do change over time. However my impression of her was that she’s not the type to blow up a good thing, but rather one who will invest in it as it truly is her most secure future.
Ash Pariseau said:
I would be impressed to know that they strategized this. Most kids that age are clueless as to what they are doing in relationships.
However, it could be the case because it’s not all that uncommon when you live in a rural area, but with strong influence from family.
This actually sounds very similar to the beginning of my 20 something relationship.
Awwwwww ❤ So sweet to read stories like this happening! I hope it all goes well for them and they have a beautiful marriage!
In other news… we found a baby white-winged dove today on the roof of one of our cars. So the boys and I have been taking care of it and it seems to be doing well 🙂 It's eating well and pooping and we have an old bird cage that I got out from the garage and cleaned up for it. I'm sure we're not keen on keeping the sweet dove, but we'll see.
If any of you have ever rescued baby doves, please let me know!!!
This is what it looks like (only it’s a bit older, still very very small though, fits completely in my hand). And this is how I’ve been feeding it pretty much exactly, with baby bird formula.
Oops forgot the link!
@ Stephanie, you might try Audubon society?
Thank you Bloom! I do see we have one here, and also a Wildlife Rescue Center. It’d probably be best if it was with other birds and learned how to behave around them.
So cute though ❤ !!
Larry G said:
Why Stephanie! “If any of you have ever rescued baby doves, please let me know!!!” I rescued several doves some years back. If I recall correctly they were lovely with the noodles.
I do know doves can be kept in captivity, at least certain types. I was thinking they may have general advice. Perhaps you could say your neighbor found a baby dove… or a friend… get some general info and then decide the next step?
This may have helpful info, too: http://www.birdwatching-bliss.com/baby-bird.html
Reading that site, yes, we have Kaytee baby bird formula – so at least we’re feeding it the right stuff.
“If I recall correctly they were lovely with the noodles.”
@FML: “the problem is that people change over time. or more accurately, they become more of who they really were all along.”
You’re close but don’t have it quite right. WOMEN change dramatically over time. Men not so much. What a woman wants at 20 is a lot different from what they want at 30, which is way different from what they want at 40, which is dramatically different from what they want at 50.
What men want at 20 is pretty much what they want at 30, and about the same as what they want at 40. By 50 … they want the same … just not in as large a quantity.
I’m talking about what women want from men, and what men want from women.
The problem with society is that when WOMEN change their minds … they have a cheering crowd telling her to cut the nuts off the father of her children, roast him alive, steal his children and then steal all the money he will make for years to come and if he can’t or won’t pay … make sure he ends up in prison.
MEN are told … to man up, stick it out, and pay the extortion money … for the children. Otherwise, he’s a loser, failure and a coward.
FML … that make sense ?
Over at Spawny’s there was a big discussion of sh*t testing a man.
This Allen Pason’s video exactly plays out how a woman sees a shit test.
(Nick and Sugar are already an item when it starts.)
But read the lyrics
“If you believe in the power of magic,
It’s all a fantasy
So if you need to believe in someone,
Just pretend it’s me
It ain’t enough that we meet as strangers
I can’t set you free
So will you turn your back forever on what you mean to me?
Don’t answer me, don’t break the silence
Don’t let me win
Don’t answer me, stay on your island
Don’t let me in
Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things we’ve said and done?”
The lyrics have a man expecting to be ignored and her to run away. He doesn’t believe in magic anymore.
If the man had hit the point of no return then at the drive in Nick would have just started his car and left Sugar with the Lug.
An ode to the Fine! Silent treatment and what a guy thinks of it….
“Don’t answer me, don’t break the silence
Don’t let me win
Don’t answer me, stay on your island
Don’t let me in.”
Any of you ladies ever push a shit test too far and end up with the Lug?
Yeah, it certainly looks as if she’s made great choices so far. But the young man’s burden of performance is still there. Sure hope that he has a grip on that versus just giving her everything she wants.
Farm Boy said:
There is a new post at Spawny’s
Blush Dot said:
Seems like the couple are off to a good start!
Fnu Mnu Lnu said:
Yeah, you are wrong. Everyone changes to some degree.
The only women I come across like this have had strong father figures in their life. On the other hand, the ones who haven’t had that are all sorts of dysfunctional.
It is almost like clockwork.
I’m guessing if you had inquired about her parents and family and childhood, RPS, you would have found something similar.
CopperfoxI will be meeting her side of the family at the wedding and will know more then but I suspect you are right. Likewise he has been raised in such a family so I wonder how much of a role that plays in his selection and also their dynamic?
I know people from some pretty messed up backgrounds who do well and also some who don’t despite coming from a seemingly ideal one, but those are likely the exceptions to the rule rather than the norm. Clearly being raised in an intact, healthy, functional family gives a child the best possibility for growing into a healthy functional adult who will create their own intact family.
Knowing this (see the stats from the previous post) one would think society would be doing all they could to support healthy functional intact families. But somehow it seems to be the opposite… hummm.
@RPG, the problem stems from the fact that many people mistakenly give to much weight to the “exceptions”. As I wrote on TRP a year or two ago: the exception to the rule does not invalidate the rule
Dirty secret about life is that people treat you well if you’re already treated well, and the reverse. Settling down and having a family will lead to your bosses, etc treating you better, which leads to more money and so on. When you let society treat you like shit, when you end up single and desperate and on tinder, that becomes a negative spiral likewise.
Indeed Anonomyus, I have seen this for sure.