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abundance, advice, career path, finances, financial stability, fitness, life, red pill, truth, weight loss, work
To keep riffing on the idea that actions create outcomes, let’s look at some examples. What would the outcome be for the following (best guess, just based on the average outcome.)
Case Study 1: Person shows up to work on time (or a bit early!), is rarely absent, works diligently, looks and acts professionally, adds value whenever possible, is minimal drama, and gets ‘er done on a daily and regular basis. Outcome?
Case Study 2: Person is often late, sick the minute a leave day accrues, often gets off task, looks and acts unprofessionally, does the minimum, often involved in or creating drama, doesn’t complete tasks on a regular or daily basis. Outcome?
Case Study 1: On a regular or daily basis person does the following: walks for 15 minutes a day, takes the stairs instead of the elevator whenever possible, parks in the farthest spot in the lot, does resistance training either at home with body weight resistance and bands or at the gym with weights, has an active hobby (boating, hiking, swimming, biking, etc.), and mostly eats a sensible, balanced, high nutrition, low processed and junk food diet. Outcome?
Cast Study 2: Person wishes they could lose weight and get fit, but never or rarely or sporadically at best does any of the above. Outcome?
Case Study 1: Person wants financial stability so they put away 10 percent of every paycheck, avoid debt or pay extra on any prior debt until it is paid off, pays bills early or on time to avoid fees, shops at garage sales, consignment shops, resale shops, or thrift stores for most household and clothing items, comparison shops and buys new items on sale vs. retail, prioritizes needs vs. wants, has $1500 in a rainy day fund for emergencies and repays the fund when used, puts money regularly into some sort of retirement fund, takes on extra work or generates extra income on the side when possible, lives below their means on a regular or daily basis. Outcome?
Case Study 2: Person wants financial stability but tells themselves they can’t afford to save anything, buys mostly on credit, pays minimum on cards and debts, often pays late including additional fees, always buys household and clothing items brand new at full retail price, has no cash reserves for emergencies so charges such expenses, puts nothing away for retirement, doesn’t look for extra work or ways to generate income on the side when possible, lives paycheck to paycheck or even above their means via credit. Outcome?
As these examples hopefully illustrate, it’s not rocket science. The secret to getting the outcome you desire is taking regular or daily actions that have high odds of leading to the desired outcome. Not doing so greatly decreases it.
I am sure you can think of such case studies of your own (and if so, feel free to add them or other thoughts on actions and outcomes in the comments!)
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Are these trick questions?
RPG, might be a good idea to also consider that certain outcomes often dictate actions or reactions. What you just wrote about is 99% common sense I think.
Unfortunately over 30 years I have seen the typical archtypes at work anbd am writing a book of them.
Case study 1 is what I call the Radars, after Radar on MASH. Work diligently, quietly. Peoplke just pile more and more work on them. Everyone needs them but no one sasys thank you. It is assumed they will just be there. Until tnbey are not. Then everyone is screwed likme when Klinger took over.
First thing I say to managers….thank your radars.
Case study 2 is either the drama queen or the instigator depending on temperment.
Both use drama to deflect their ineptitude. The queen survives because she knows people or things that would create facelosing drama for thge higher ups so they placate therm. Similarly the instigatoir is protected by their status, race, etc. that woiuld be brought to bear if you were to act on them.
The other archtypes include
Scrounger…you need it just dont ask where it came from.
Aunt May…mother to ease the result of internal strife between factions
Terminator…hugely productive and focused just dont get in his way
Hyde…charismatic, enigma, unscrupulous..JR Ewing etc.
Sheldon\Spock…socially obtuse but technically brilliant, runs IT or Plant
Drone….unnoticed, largely unimportant but produces steadily. Feed regularly
Imposter…from the 1961 Tony Curtis movie. They know everything, everybody but what do they do….also Barney Stinson
Dear Leader….tyrant. May be junior clerk or ceo but everyone fears and obeys them.
22 in all.
Should be case 1 rewarded, case 2 crashes and burns.
Usually the opposite.
Larry G, one would think but all three case 2 scenarios are people I know in real life who want something but are doing the opposite needed to get there. Then either don’t get why or blame others or outside forces. No kidding!
Interesting horseman, and I think it is very insightful to point that out. Doing the right thing increases odds of getting to the goal but there can be other factors at play as well that also require action to overcome.
Additionally as the multiple types suggest, sometimes there are multiple possible action paths, some (seemingly?) work even though they shouldn’t in theory (the lazy/inept/foolish/etc. person everyone keeps bailing out, for example.)
So yes, Radars do risk going unnoticed and unrewarded if they don’t also take some action to avoid it when this occurs.
oh wow…LOL….western society is soooo screwed then.
Lol Larry G, perhaps so. Likely working in their favor or enabling it is the “don’t blame/don’t shame” mantra so popular today. It’s practically taboo to actually call someone on the connection between their actions and outcomes. “So mean!!! Waaaaa. ” Yet still doesn’t make it untrue, or help them reach the goal. In fact not calling it out actually ENABLES it to continue!
jeez, this pussy generation I see all around would not have stood a chance in hell of surviving Khe Sanh
It’s practically taboo to actually call someone on the connection between their actions and outcomes.
Do you find that true for guys also – or just with the gals?
‘It’s practically taboo to actually call someone on the connection between their actions and outcomes.’
It’s only taboo to call someone on the connection between evil actions and predictible consequences.
Giving props for doing an actual job well done often doesn’t lead to a ‘don’t judge me’ reaction. Although I would laugh if I heard it in that scenerio.
excellent. i sent this to my daughters 🙂
Actually Larry G, one case 2 example is a woman in her late 60s
(Weight loss.) The other two are a mid-20s (work) and a mid 40s (finances). So multiple generations represented here — boomer, gen x, and millennial!
@ RichardP, I have seen guys do this too. Probably less but still more than one might think. This type of thinking seems to me to be rife in American culture, not sure why. Want results w no effort. It’s “just going to happen…someday…magically.” Or something? Some of it may also be entitled, “but I deserve it” thinking.
I agree you on choices in your personal life.
The pleasure of food versus the pain of obesity.
Where the disconnect happens is in the various martyr deflections for bad behaviour.
The drama queen or instigator only work because those around them go shhhhh, here have a candy when they make a scene. I just look at them and ask “Are you done yet?”
Shaming is a strong, valid social control. The spendthrift, the fast girl, the office gossip used to be parodies, laughed at. No one wanted to be them in real life.
Now its $1000 iphones, body positivity and the TV show about the drama on a yatch.
We encourage it.
As Cappy says “Enjoy the Decline.”
Its just going to happen magically….well duh, of course.
And I am not going to settle!
Because I need it!
I don’t need no ….fill in the blank.
All of the focus on Victimology…by academics, activists, journalists, and politicians…surely encourages people to believe that their fate is out of their control, is determined by things that are done to or for them rather than things they do. (The technical term for this dichotomy is ‘internal vs external locus of control’.
Some people do overcome this indoctrination, but too often, the local powers-that-be push them in the other direction. Here’s an absolutely appalling story about a professor who is upset with her Hispanic students because so many of them credit their success to their own hard work and determination..she would apparently like to see them focused more on racism and the need for affirmative action.
https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11091
@david foster good point. And how sad to tell students their success comes from their victimhood not their effort. That’s terrible! Talk about invalidating
That would be like someone saying to me, “well you are good at what you do, but because you are a girl we’re going to give you extra points to help… (because implied it can’t stand on its own against the same by a (white) male, naturally.) But it’s good for a girl!
Insulting!
It’s ironic those pushing equality seem to simultaneously message it will never really be equal (bc if it was then all their programs would be unnecessary!)
RPG: “It’s practically taboo to actually call someone on the connection between their actions and outcomes.”
I used to tell my writing students, “Characters are nothing more than the sum total of their actions.” Meaning don’t tell me about them in the text, show them doing things that teach the audience who they are. They liked this … not so much, however, when I would say it’s the same in our lives. You may be something special to yourself but to everyone else you are no more than what you do. There’s a lot more of “everyone else” than there is of you … so shape up.
RPG: “This type of thinking seems to me to be rife in American culture, not sure why. Want results w no effort. It’s “just going to happen…someday…magically.” Or something? Some of it may also be entitled, “but I deserve it” thinking.”
I see a lot of this coming out of the Entertainment Industry, Entertainment News and the like. That may be because that’s where I work but I do suspect that it has spread from there to the rest of the culture. It don’t think Entertainment is the only source but the myths of that business are everywhere.
The classic is the “over-night success.” Pretty stupid because every success starts somewhere and if you look no farther back then, of course, it seems over-night. Most successful people spent years preparing in obscurity. Many in show business start very young so that helps solidify the myth.
Entertainment, and I include sports here, is also a ferocious meritocracy with hundreds of thousands trying to get in and only a fraction of a percent making it to a level that is even visible. They make it look easy because they are the savants, the naturals. None of that diminishes the effort they put in. I was talking many years ago with a top Country Western artist. I asked him what he did to get better, to really stay at the top of his game. “I play scales four hours a day,” was his reply. The note becomes muscle memory.
The study of many arts in college is focused on the “meaning” of the work, as in the social or political meaning. Professors who try to teach the “how to” aspects are looked down on because that’s “vocational,” not the lofty intellectual theories of the true academic.
Lastly, as we are seeing in the culture at large, authenticity is highly prized when teaching the arts. The spin put on it is that the rough voice of the authentic artist makes it seem like all you have to be is you and you will succeed. That is true for a very few who naturally are doing something in a particular way that an entire audience naturally just loves. This is pretty freaking rare. As I said above, a fraction of a percent. Those who fall by the wayside are never considered, they don’t even exist. It makes it seem that the “Real You” is art just waiting to be discovered.
I’ve always suspected that the reason so many artists have socialist tendencies is that they always feel very fragile and are terrified of the meritocratic aspects of what they do. They would love a government to validate them with a guaranteed audience. Even the stars live in fear of losing their star mojo and would like to be permanently enshrined by some higher power.
,,, the amount of practice necessary for exceptional performance is so extensive that people who end up on top need help. They invariably have access to lucky breaks or privileges or conditions that make all those years of practice possible.
The Ten-Thousand Hour Rule
The bolded part of that quote is a valid issue and is at least part of what the professor at David Foster’s link above was concerned about. And I also believe this is a valid point: talent and hard work (internal locus of control) are often not enough to guarantee success. Often, others must part the sea before the “hard worker” can walk through to the other side. Those who think that the sea just parted on its own, or parted because they had something to do with it – and don’t understand that it parted only because of the efforts of others – are seriously at a disadvantage.
It is true that one is at a disadvantage if they think they have no control over outcomes in their life. But the one who thinks that they alone are in control of the outcomes of their life is equally at a disadvantage. There is no need to cultivate relationships with others if you think you have no need of them. And none of us succeeds totally all by ourself. So those with that attitude are going to be in trouble when they encounter the need to rely on the assistance of others and have no social skills that would allow them to ask for that help. Or, worse, have alienated anyone who would want to help them through constant display of a I don’t need no stinkin’ help attitude.
That, I think, explains at least in part the concern that the professor was expressing. I also understand that, if her income depends on working within the construct of affirmative action, that she (and everyone else so affected) will fight tooth and toenail against any evidence that affirmative action is not needed. Sort of a Munchausen syndrome by proxy situation.
In addition to locus of control factors, the subject of this thread is also greatly impacted by a person’s time orientation (or temporal orientation) and ability at impulse control. It seems intuitive that someone for whom the present looms larger than the past or the future, and who has trouble excercising impulse control, is going to live in the now to the exclusion of any signifigant planning for the future and saving for a rainy day.
There has been a good deal of research on the origins of time orientation and impulse control. There is some evidence that the conditions have a biological component that might be stronger than the socialization component (nature a stronger determinant than nurture in many cases).
Alan K…”Professors who try to teach the “how to” aspects are looked down on because that’s “vocational,” not the lofty intellectual theories of the true academic.”
Reminds me of something Peter Drucker wrote almost half a century ago:
“Today music appreciation is a respected academic discipline (even though it tends to be a deadly bore for the kids who have to memorize a lot of names when they have never heard the music). Playing an instrument or composing are considered, however, amateurish or “trade school.” This is not very bright, even if school is considered vocational preparation for the scribe. When school becomes general education for everyone, it is lunacy.”
I had some related thoughts here:
https://chicagoboyz.net/archives/36871.html
dormative powers seems a good-enough explanation of the active ingredient in Opium. Useful in the same way that When the airplane goes fast, that makes a wind under the wings, and that holds the airplane up is useful.
Richard P…disagree. The line about wind under the wings makes the important point that flight (of a fixed-wing aircraft) is dependent on forward motion…about all one could reasonably expect someone to understand at that age, I think. The ‘dormative powers’ line is simply definitional.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/07/08/signalling-that-you-are-ready/
@ Alan that’s all very insightful, material for several future posts there!
Yes, instant success… I get that all the time, actually. People see the outcome of my actions and think “it just happened.” But in reality they are looking at 15+ years of constant, continual, day-after-day effort (and yes some lucky breaks) adding up to what it is today. They don’t see the backstage — the grunt work, hard labor, long hours, going without, sweat equity, delayed gratification, personal sacrifice, etc. involved. They just think I am, “lucky!” Or will even say, “you live my dream life.” I just smile and say, “every job has its moments.” What they don’t know is I worked four 12 hour days prior to the “charmed” one to create the illusion. And of course I need to make it look easy bc people want to believe the dream, they don’t want to hear the reality. So perhaps even I perpetuate the myth? Hard to say. I give them the illusion the want, I suppose. But in reality if it were easy, everyone would do it!
…and the people who actually know me know how things are backstage! And true, many help in many ways also make it possible! I do a lot but thankfully not all alone!
Great comments! Lots to process! Keep em coming while I ponder this….
RichardP: “It seems intuitive that someone for whom the present looms larger than the past or the future, and who has trouble excercising impulse control, is going to live in the now to the exclusion of any signifigant planning for the future and saving for a rainy day.”
Our relationship to time is a sneaky aspect of many important things, like courage and morality. A couple of VERY rough ‘for instances’:
The company that reports quarterly may take a risk and dump it’s waste in a river because making the quarterly report is necessary for its (or its officer’s) survival. Another corporation that reports, say biannually, has to take into consideration that it might be caught in that time and thus takes fewer risks because the bottom line is spread over a greater amount of time.
A junkie who knows he’s going to be in the agony of withdrawal by midnight may violently rob a gas station but the same guy might beg for money or even work a odd job if he knows he’s got all day.
A well off young man; prep school, university, graduate school, an attractive wife, a good job; seeing this well planned life ahead of him, might hesitate to help someone in a car wreck … “What if there is some liability if I try moving her?” “What if they want to waste my time keeping me here to make a statement?”
But another kid, one who has grown up under harsh circumstances, few jobs, no 10th grade drop out, abusive parents, violent streets, one who might feel that an offense to his honor or an intrusion on his space is worthy of extreme violence … he might have such a short vision of his future that he runs into a burning building to save a child. In his case he says, “Why not?” Or he just does it because in his world, desperate questions are answered by action rather than contemplation and assessment.
A good deal of the time Bad Asses are Bad Asses because they have been trained to have a shorter vision of the future than the more “civilized” among us. That’s true of the scumbag with the gun in your face and it’s true of the ex-con who uses his body to protect an injured person from gunfire.
Yet you eat the extra serving of cake because you don’t have a vision of a thinner future. It’s a mixed bag but the Time Element or how people relate to time and their vision of the future is very important. We need people with both the long view and the short, we need to train ourselves to have the right time frame for the right moment.
David Foster: “Reminds me of something Peter Drucker wrote almost half a century ago: “Today music appreciation is a respected academic discipline (even though it tends to be a deadly bore for the kids who have to memorize a lot of names when they have never heard the music). Playing an instrument or composing are considered, however, amateurish or “trade school.””
So much of this comes from narcissistic professors. THEY can sit around contemplating things and banging on in their BS post modern lingo about them but somebody has to actually DO the stuff they erect their theories around. Far too often the profs I’ve been around believe that their students shouldn’t soil themselves with the world outside the academy. Many tend to think that their true goal is to raise up the next generation of professors and any who don’t go on to teach are the failures in life. Few have held any job outside education. It’s no wonder they are bouncing around in a hermetically sealed thought bubble. A good education (not necessarily what these people directly provide) is a wonderful thing but I really pity the parents who believe their kid can survive college without a skeptical and challenging attitude toward their teachers.
Off topic and mostly from the lurking ladies.
We talk about the guys already in ltrs trying to navigate it or reduce the losses of frivorce. And ad nauseum about how women should be to get a man
But like everyone we ignore the prime real estate….the single, stable, non player man.
Why has no one ever responded to my several repeated challenges to explain why an individual man 25-40 should get married?
Not for society, not for the children,not because the women want him to.
But because it is good for him in even a single way that he cannot get on his own or in a short term ejectable relationship. Doesnt even have to balance the risks, just an example of one thing.
Sell it to me!
By the resounding silence I am beginning to think
Gasp!
There Is NO Reason!
In which case Bloom’s efforts are tilting at windmills. Well intended but …really?
Let’s leave the poor saps already captured to tough it out or suffer the frivorce
Lets watch women have their decade of fun (25-35) and then 5 decades of wine and cats and bitter bitter lonliness (35-85) known as the 1 for 5 rule
Lets leave the upcoming guys to either be playaas or quietly amass wealth while working little and playing games
Lets watch the labour rate crumble so the huge wave of boomers can change their own diapers in the home
Lets watch the marriage rate and birth rate crater so cities can go back to farmland.
No young man today under 30 does not, from personal up close experience, see relationships and marriage for what they are and hence is making the associated decisions. Tradition, its just what you do and shame have no effect.
So unless you ladies finally come up with a valid reason and sell it hard
I mean beer commercial during the superbowl hard sell…..
It Is Over.
(Playing ostrich makes one a dead duck)
Just sayin…..
Basically respond to the guy in my video above, which by the way the original article was penned in 2004, a decade ago. And its not just the 30 year olds who think this. Many TEENAGERS do.
Talk about outcomes. Jesus!
https://business.financialpost.com/personal-finance/family-finance/woman-juggling-500000-in-debts-less-than-200000-net-worth-fears-shes-doomed-to-bleak-retirement
1 she appears to have divorced once the kids left home, isnt that a trigger I warn about, the child support is bye bye and the man can emerge from under the threat.
2. She is supporting grown kids! No dears make your own way.
3. 22,000 in car loan at 8%? Where?? Car loans are 1%! Trade it in for a older car!!
4. 11,000 in line of credit? It aint free money dear!! And 12,000 in credit card? What?
5. But she got the house in the divorce! Whoopie!! 450,000 in mortgage!!
6. She earns 7k a month plus a pension! So well over 100k a year! Better pray the company doesnt fold or the bosses get mad at her. I know I lost such a job in a budget cutback. Overnight literally!
Assume she was making this for years and hubby had even a joe job. They were easily 150k + a year. In Alberta, not Toronto or Vancouver.!!
They should be mortgage and debt free with assets in the bank. Both should have walked from the divorce with oodles of cash.
Instead they lived the lifestyle assuming the good times never would end!
Ahahahahahaha.
And yes I can talk.
Exact boat as her job wise but I lived frugally, my kids pay their own schooling, I had my mortgage way paid down so made a lot when I sold it. So when I lost the 7k a month job I only have to work part time for grocery money.
Oh and both cars are paid off, one 7, one 9 and only 150km on each.
‘Why has no one ever responded to my several repeated challenges to explain why an individual man 25-40 should get married?’
It’s the term you used….’should’. A man has the freedom to get married for various reasons or not to get married for various reasons. Not every man should get married and there’s even Biblical references as to why this is the case.
‘This 52-year-old Alberta woman feels trapped by finances decimated by a divorce, but there is a way she can go from survival mode to a secure, enjoyable retirement’
I guess it’s not all ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ like Hollyweird tells them.
Heck she makes twice as much as I do in a month and other than a car payment I have no debt and make sure to save what I can. Keep the credit cards payed and not buying a big box for my stuff that costs way too much. Then again I realize divorce is a downside in pretty much every arena.
@horseman, I have seen your query before and will ponder it. I think in the average case, you are right there really is no advantage.
In return I will ask you, what would be advantages that would be worth it? Or how was it worth it before that it isn’t now? (Asking for a friend! Lol 🙂 )
I dont like being a doomsayer Bloom. I love my marriage.
I am trying to shake the complacancy. ‘Oh it will just happen!”
No! It Will Not!
Unless each of you ladies find a damn good answer to my question
YOU WILL BE ALONE! Forty years ALONE!
(Even if you get married for twenty years you still have 30-40 left)
The majority of unmarried men today of all ages
Do Not Want To Get Married!!!
Most used to want to and even if you didnt you did to get sex, respect, children.
No man today truly believes he “Will Have A Family” if he gets married.
Even the 2010 census said 50% of marriages dont make 20 years and its got worse since. So he Knows, logically, that at some point before the kids are raised His Family will break apart. It is A Fact! And men respond to facts.
So THE number 1 reason for getting married, your big gun, is known bullshit!
Love, devotion, companionship?
Um reread the above…..not gonna last, worse the one offering it Does It To You!!
Remember any guy under 40, i.e.born after 1978, has personally seen divorce in his family, parents, cousins, somebody. He has lived it!!!
I got married back when it meant something. I was a 6, she was a 6. We both wanted a strong family, her because she came from one, me because mine was disfunctional.
We were partners in Raising a Family before being Lovers.
Our crisis came when mission accomplished, kids were raised and gone. Then the year from Hell figuring out if we now wanted to be Lovers\Companions not just Parents.
And we did, massive pain, and behavior change.
And it wasn’t cause I desperately wanted Her, a fifty year old former 6.
It was because I wanted to be MARRIED to her.
See the difference.
I keep asking because my kids, my friends kids all ask me as the only long time married guy they know…(that alone is sad in itself and reinforces the above)
Why Should I get married?
And I honestly have no answer for them that isnt transparent bullshit.
Worse is their sisters.
How do I find a marriageable guy like you?
And the honest answer is…
You NEVER will.
(Even I am not that much of an asshole)
To answer your question Bloom, what advantages??
There is only one.
Some believeable, factual, practical assurance that it will last a lifetime as advertised.
Doesnt have to be good, even civil.
That is for the parties to work out for themselves.
But it has to last!!!!!!!!!!
Repeat that
It Has To Last!!!
Guys dont avoid marriage because of fear of frivorce. Men are both idolize romantic love and are fearless! Men are also practical, they observe reality not wishes.
Men don’t get married because…wait for it… the product is known to fail.
It doesn’t deliver its only promise “She Will Always Be There”
So you can hang up the playa spurs, lose the lines, never cold approach again. Relief from the games. Its not even advertised as great, it just lasts. You can chill.
Wanna find an advantage?
Have a room full of guys watching TV.
The De Boers commercial comes on.
“A diamond is FOREVER.”
…
….and NOT have the guys snicker and laugh.
Solve that and all the other disadvantages fall away.
Lemme know how you make out.
Every single one of you ladies go rent (ok netflix I am old, shut up)
Laws of Attraction with Pierce Brosnan.
His performance is stunning. How he looks at her with affection and “my you are being a child so I will be patient”. How he checks her.
Most of all his repeated elegant speeches about love.
(This was made not long after Cassandra died of cancer in his arms as he read to her.)
https://people.com/celebrity/people-archive-pierce-brosnan-remembers-wife-cassandra-harris/
And now he remains married to his second wife Kyle Smith even as she has gotten huge.
Only belief in the institution does that. You need to get men to believe again.
@horseman said: Only belief in the institution does that.
That being a subset of a commitment to principles rather than just commitment to a person. People change; principles don’t. Commitment to principles keeps the boat steady(er) throughout the chaos of life.
For those who believe in the Bible – Moses a long time ago allowed his charges to divorce. Failure to find a reason to stay together is not a new phenomenon.
Horseman, a lot of what you mentioned makes a bit of sense provided western females actually could:
1.) Have a shred of honor or commitment to someone other than themselves.
2.) Care about a future they neither care about nor can imagine in the present
3.) Get a single step beyond the built in narcissism that is their perceived birthright
Dude, IMO the train left the station well over 40 years ago for these females. They neither recognize or care that they are only leftovers and are incapable of changing; it’s locked in.
Only my opinion now, Horseman. Just like trying to turn a huge ship at low speed, it can take a very long time to change course…it has taken since the 1960’s to bring society to this dark place we are now. It cannot be changed quickly or easily. As men abandon more relationships and marriage the women will adapt to living alone. There will be no sudden comprehension or understanding for the western females that it is much too late for them and they are not wanted.
Off topic video!
Richard
It was her commitment to the marriage that bought us the time to both change when I had had enough. I even let her back in the house not because of Her but because “for now she is still my Wife and its my duty to take care of her.” Our faith in our Marriage got us to like each other again.
Larry
Sadly, resignedly, I agree.
The change comes slow and I see people adapting to being apart as their easiest solution. Admitting failure and adapting to each other is too hard.
And people like easy. Otherwise the first step for everyone of putting down the fork and going for a walk would be a common thing
(Snickers) yeah like thats gonna happen.
Its not just women, its men too.
Men have adapted to not HAVING to be the breadwinner, working more than is in just their interests.
The hardest step, even if women become sweet and faithful, will be taking up the yoke again.
Yes I will trust you, yes I will marry you. But Bitch you gonna work as hard as me til we both retire at 65. 3 months pregnancy leave then back to the office. If I gotta go, you gotta go.
The days of staying home to raise the kids i.e. days off once they are in school is DONE!
Hell yeah I will take them to karate, and tuck them in and take the day off for the dentist appointment! We are equal parents with two careers!
Y’all aint gonna use that excuse Bitch!
If anything men have woken up to that little game!!!
LMAO Horseman! I assume then that your opinion of modern women is a tad less than sterling?
@horsemen….
This little social experiment was already tried in Soviet Russia where women had to work just as much as men and the same things happened. Abortion, divorce, state run daycares, marriage rates going down and men becoming chads and MGTOWs. Even corrupt Stalin was seeing this experiment was ruining Russia.
The only difference between us now and the Soviets back then is that the women were forced to do it or else…now they get the ‘choice’ to do it and empowerment is the candy used to delude women into it.
Earl
The difference is we are not going to make them work, we are just going to remove the option of staying home and raising babies. What they do with it is up to them.
Work, freeze in the dark, suck the government dry til there is no more.
Not my circus not my monkey.
Larry
I judge the individual. I respect Bloom.
Just few of her sisters are worth interaction.
I am just trying to point out outcomes without the blinders of want and feelings.
this might interest some …
In a newly released campaign ad, Dial dredges up a 32 year old divorce document between Pate and his ex-wife, Carolyn Pate.
The ad references a June 1986 divorce petition filed by Carolyn, that states “the Wife avers that the Husband has committed actual violence to her person and from his manner and conduct toward her, she is reasonably convinced that he will commit further violence upon her person, intended with danger to her life and health.”
“I denied that then and I deny that now,” Pate told the Decatur Daily referencing the alleged violence. He explained both he and his wife exchanged mean comments during the divorce, but now are on good terms and exchange annual Christmas cards. According to Pate, in May Carolyn “wrote a note ‘to whom it may concern’ that said they had a good marriage until the divorce, when hurtful words were exchanged.”
By the time the final divorce documents were filed, there was no mention of violence or restraining orders as the two were on more amicable terms.
http://altoday.com/archives/25069-ag-commissioner-race-takes-dark-turn-with-flat-out-lie-in-new-ad
@Richard P I think commitment to the principle really is the key. All this “if it’s right” or “if it feels good” or whatnot — that’s building ones house upon the sand. Commitment to the principle, that’s building upon the rock. Few do so these days but that’s really what works.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/07/10/bad-sex-for-millennial-women/
I think one of the caveats to this is that daily actions create small outcomes, and those small outcomes accumulate into bigger outcomes over time.
One of the key lessons from stoic thinking is to focus on the immediate steps. If you want to be a millionaire, don’t start thinking about actions to become a millionaire, start with actions that will earn you a $5 profit today and figure out how to grow that.
Too many people fail because they are focused on being a rock star, or super rich, or sleeping with hot models. But you achieve those things through many smaller steps. Small outcomes lead to larger ones.