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This week I have been in battle. I have killed hundreds, possibly thousands — of wasps.
For some reason they are especially bad this year. Nobody around can remember them building their papery nests in seemingly every crack and crevice like this. Stores are literally running out of wasp spray, people are buying it by the case.
Some ground dwelling type is altogether new. And especially aggressive. Several hover at the entrance, double dog daring anyone who comes near. If they feel it is too close they suddenly charge.
Maybe it was when I was mowing the lawn near a nest and one such scout wasp not only followed me across the yard but then flew up into my hair and lodged there, buzzing menacingly as I tried to shake it off that my switch flipped from “live and let live” to “sorry but this town ain’t big enough for the two of us.” Or maybe it was when it then flew up my shirt and stung me — twice — that I finally decided the wasps had to go. (Unlike bees, wasps can sting again and again, little f’ers!)
And they don’t just sting people! I have a sprinkler head that is leaking that they loved to hang out at like a little wasp oasis. So I turned off the water line until it can get fixed. Later that day I noticed two wasps on the now dry sprinkler head, attempting to sting it like mad, pissed as hell that it wasn’t dripping H2O any longer. Vicious!
I told myself it wasn’t just for my sake it had to be done. The wasps could sting the kids, or their friends, or others visiting. No, I could not look away and hope for the best any longer.
I asked around and got as many answers for how to take out their underground bunker as I asked people. Bury them. Drown them. Spray them. Light them on fire. The list went on and on.
Since I had a can of spray, I decided to try that first. After dusk when all the wasps were tucking away in their beds, I fumigated the tunnel. A heavy rock covering the opening ought to do, I thought.
The next morning not only had they dug out around the edges of the rock, they had made new exits to boot.
It was in the comments of a video of two guys lighting up an underground wasp nest that I got the next idea. As these guys found, while lighting the entrance up like a Fourth of July pyro’s dream might be satisfying, the commenter said doing so would suck the vapors up and out of the cavern, preventing a clean kill. Far better to pour 3-4 ounces in and simply put a rock on the opening till morning, they claimed.
Simple. Deadly. Relatively cheap. And I had it on hand. Perfect.
That night I doused two ground nests, once again putting a big rock on top of the exit. I would not know if I had won the battle until first light.
Low and behold the next day the hole in the ground that had actively been a buzz with wasps coming and going the day before now showed no signs of life at all.
You’d think I would celebrate but instead I felt guilty. Didn’t they deserve to live as much as myself? Was it fair? Was I being waspist?
I doubt many men would fret one iota over doing what needed done. They might even use it as a bragging right.
I realized what another commenter had said about men and women’s moral reasoning being different based on ancient programming was true.
Most women don’t do well with killing stuff that needs killed. Men? They don’t seem to share that same inner conflict.
Perhaps there are specialized roles for a reason?
In any case I have since offed two more ground hives. I still don’t like doing it. But it’s got to be done.
What do you think? Please share in the comments!
I love destroying pests. It’s an intellectual challenge – you must know your enemy.
Long ago I had a veggie patch and slugs were defoliating the broccoli. After research, I enacted two strategies:
1. Spray strong coffee on the leaves. They ingest the caffeine through their skin and it kills them.
2. Put beer dregs in saucers around the plants. The slugs are hopelessly attracted to the fermented odour, crawl in, get too drunk to crawl out and they drown.
Worry about killing them? When I buy bug spray I ask the shopkeeper for the one that delivers the slowest and most agonizing death.
might you have felt differently if a sting had almost killed one of your daughters?
my aspie-girl had an anaphylactic reaction to one several years ago. all creepy crawlies and flying creepies can die … and unlike Nikolai, i want them dead and fast. and forever dead. but all those things find ways to come back. ticks me off.
however … i admit that i don’t like to actually kill them if i don’t have to … especially if they smish … ewww! gives me the hibbie jibbies!
I don’t like killing, even pests like insects, but protecting your family and friends is more important. Do what needs to be done.
“2. Put beer dregs in saucers around the plants. The slugs are hopelessly attracted to the fermented odour, crawl in, get too drunk to crawl out and they drown.”
LOL I’ve done this… thought it funny that they were hopelessly attracted to the beer. But I did feel a little sad/guilty.
As per the wasps… I’ve been battling them at our place, too, especially because it’s scary with the kids outside. They did seem really aggressive this year even way down here!
I have tried the beer traps for slugs too and was amazed how well that works! Seems best to use the cheapest, smelliest beer possible. They swarmed into it by the dozens the first night. Not one more slug could have fit into the trap it seemed. One would think upon seeing a pile of their dead pals they would steer clear but no. Instead it was like, “hey why didn’t you call?” I somehow felt less bad about the beer death than this. Lol.
drunks are gonna drunk…
https://prodygal.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/slug.jpg?w=300&h=264
Alcohol Poisoning is REAL guys LOL…
Photoshopped – I mean ACTUAL footage of said drunk, beer-drinking slug
And true, if one had stung the kids and especially if they were allergic I am sure I would not have felt bad at all about taking them out. Anaphalaytic allergies would be really scary I am sure. Yes, they have to go.
I also have a wild honeybee hive on my place. It’s very old, has been there as long as anyone can remember. I leave them be(e). They aren’t aggressive like the wasps and I always have a bumper crop of apples and other fruit thanks to their hard work. But again were the girls or I allergic to them I am sure I would feel entirely different.
‘I doubt many men would fret one iota over doing what needed done. They might even use it as a bragging right.’
Correct…being stung by a wasp once in my life was enough for me to deal vengence upon the rest that I ever see.
I’ve also dealt with over vermin such as cockroaches and mice…you do get some strange satisfaction killing the whole lot of invading nuisances. Otherwise you get their filth and disease in your home.
Bees are awesome. Wasps suck. Don’t feel bad about killing wasps.
We had them at the last house and one of my sons is allergic (not anaphylaxis yet…but his entire arm swelled up so I’ll bet it will be next time). The husband of a lab tech I know died of a wasp sting. Bad, bad (insert stream of creative expletives here).
Kill ’em all, Bloom! With fire. 🙂
Post reminded me of this:
😉
@earl I wish you could take out the mice who hang about the chicken coop, attracted to the feed. I need to but have not taken action… yet.
In my oppressive patriarchal sexist brain…I noticed the sex differences in mice when I caught them in the trap.
The males would fight and tried to rip themselves off the trap and bite at you. It was amazing how far those mice could drag it if they had a lot of fight in them. The females would just lay there and not do anything.
The females would just lay there and not do anything.
Where have we heard this before?
@RPG: this post makes me think of a comparison between wasps and terrorists.
Men generally have no problems with killings wasps, because we know that wasps aren’t just trying to hurt us. wasps are actually trying to kill us (if they could), or anything else they attack.
terrorists aren’t just trying to hurt people. they are trying to kill people.
both should be dealt with the same way.
I wonder if it’s not just fear that causes women to ask men to kill bugs, but the idea that women don’t think they should experience bloodlust.
We have a number of women in our circle of friends who spend much time and effort to capture the spider alive so it can be released outside (only to come back into the house again). I would rather just step on it and get it over with.
I don’t mind killing bugs if I have to. I grew up in the country, it had to be done regularly.
‘I would rather just step on it and get it over with.’
That’s also why I wonder why a lot of women are deathly afraid of spiders…you can just step on it and it’s dead.
Now if they want to be afraid of bears, crocs, or sharks…animals that are bigger and stronger than you are…that’s a legit fear.
Slide a hose in the hole after dusk…..the turn it on. Let run until full and over flowing. Wait a half hour. Remove in the morning. Bask in your wet bad assery!!!
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/08/03/grievance-mongers/
@fmu that’s interesting. Is it better to nip things in the bud or let it ride and then deal with a huge established colony of wasps? The wasps are not going to change their objectives/actions whether there are few or many, except they multiply accordingly in level of danger and stings as their population increases.
I also have been battling another invader — sugar ants. For years my neighbors had them but I didn’t. No matter what they did, no matter how clean they kept things, put food away, etc. the ants were everywhere. Yuck. One day two years ago, I remember it clearly, I saw a cluster of sugar ants on my front walkway. A ball of thousands, like a colony on the move. I thought, “I should spray those,” but got distracted and didn’t. Oh how I regret it now. They are everywhere and for two years have only increased and spread despite constant attempts by me to eliminate them. It’s gross! And embarrassing when one scurries across the kitchen counter! Had I just sprayed them that very day… it would have been so much easier…so much easier…
I must confess I catch and release spiders too! Lol.
Whether it be misbehaving kids, wasps, sugar ants, or terrorists, your reaction needs to be firm and immediate. Otherwise the problem just gets worse, and you will lose.
FML – i’m surprised you didn’t add ‘women’ to that list 😉
There’s no correcting women…
It does add to my list of why women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.
Although I’ve been watching more of the women catch spiders and release them more in regards to European women handing water to invading armies from Africa.
lol!
i want all bugs dead. just easier that way. i’d much prefer not to be the one to do the killing b/c … ewww! especially if they squish! EWWW! but i still want them dead if they’re around me or in my home.
catch and release spiders?
no.
ugh. saw this on a t-shirt.
I am not spoiled.
My wife just loves me.
She was born in May.
She has anger issues and she is a bit crazy.
But
I love her and she is the love of my life.
I’m the lucky one
because I get to be her husband.
Yes she bought me this shirt.
I suggest some better living through chemistry …
Try some good old sodium tetraborate decahydrate (aka borax) mixed with a small amount of even more common O-α-D-glucopyranosyl-(1→2)-β-D-fructofuranoside (aka sucrose sugar) in solution with water. Spray anywhere you think there might be wasps, and wait until the evening to soak any known nests with the stuff.
Some wasps rely on fungal assistance to digest their food, so in addition to that I’ve usually added some terbinafine hydrochloride (aka Lamisil) or some somewhat cheaper miconazole nitrate (aka Desenex) in liquid form. That seemingly small addition has also helped with killing wasps as they’re inbound to try to sting the crap out of me.
@ Earl “It does add to my list of why women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”
You are starting to sound like Ton! Lol.
@ame I am sure I may not convince you but insects do a LOT of work that otherwise would be impossible to do. So it’s important not to throw the babies out with the bath water, so to speak. If it is dangerous, for sure it should go. If it’s the 90%+ that isn’t? Catch and release or live and let live is my approach. But then again I am overrun by sugar ants so… maybe not the best advice??? Lol
On that note, think I should mention (though you probably already know), there are insects that look like wasps but kill pests (spiders, wasps, I think mosquitos too)….don’t kill them! They’re the good guys (kind of like mosquito hawks). They’re called mud daubers and they live in the ground. We had a bunch of those at the last place, too.
i know. i try to remember that 🙂
my mother refused to clean house, so unless i cleaned it, it was filthy … gross filthy … turn on the lights at night and bugs scatter, filthy.
i can not freak out now if i see a bug in the house, but it’s taken a looong time to get to that place. i finally gave up bleach several years ago b/c bad for you and bad for asthma, and i’ve learned to relax on having a perfectly clean house b/c my husband i very relaxed about it and doesn’t like it when i get anxious about it. (my first husband would get intensely angry if the house wasn’t perfect).
– – –
i fight the sugar ant war, too … those are the most adaptable and clever suckers that ever did live!
I’d take sugar ants o er cockroaches anyway (yuck! Have never lived anywhere with those and hope I never do!) I am ok w live and let live w outdoor bugs but not bugs in the house.
@Liz yes I did double check but these were for sure wasps. Very aggressive ones at that.
Life on a farm involves pest control.
Wasps up to coyotes. I avoid killing if I can but it is necessary. You just do it.
Even now our wee cottage sits on seven acres of woods and fields. The four cats, all “barn cats” bring stuff home daily.
“Hun, there is a cat present on the porch!”
My job is to assess the poor thing, bird, snake, chipmonk, bunny.
If it is just stunned I carry it into a safe place under a tree far from the house, usually with a bowl of water to give it a chance.
If it has internal injuries or a broken limb it will not survive until sunset in the wild. I give it mercy. I have become adept at being quick and painless with my bare hands.
I say a prayer for its spirit to send it on its way.
I don’t like it but it needs to be done. Almost every day.
P.s. stop with the “keep the cats inside blah blah.”
They keep the bad vermin population; deer mice, rats under control in the fields otherwise in the fall our walls would be full of disease spreading tenants. The others are an unfortunate side effect.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/08/05/ist/
Earl:’Those wasps wouldn’t go around stinging honest folks if the just embraced our Lord and Saviour!’
Ton:’ Bloom, me an my army buddies(Special Forces) will be around to kill all them gook wasps. I have a special method that works every time. I pour a half gallon of my famous moonshine into their nests then I wait a spell then I suck up the moonshine, I git drunk and they git dead,what’s not to like?’
Horseman:’ Those wasps should all move to a farm and do 15 hours of honest back-breaking work they’d be too plum tuckered out to sting honest hard working folks.’
Yoda:’ Exiled on Degoba the wasps should be. Or put in the helmet of Kylo Ren they should be.’
Spawny Git:’ I blame Theresa May and the EU!’
Stephanie:’Speaking of blame, I point the finger at the lady wasps. If only they embraced traditional values instead of slutting it up!’
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