, , , , , ,

A big part of the red pill involves unraveling all the pretty little lies we are told about how things work and are versus how things really work and really are. Often this occurs when those pretty little lies fall apart.

For men it may look something like this: All their lives they have been told that if they are good, kind, respectful, generous, sensitive, and so on that girls will like that, they will find a good girl, and live happily ever after. “Be a modern male,” they are told. Often this does not work as described and such men either don’t find girls as attracted to them as “bad boy” types or he does marry, does all the “right” things, and his wife is unhaaaapy and divorces him.

For women, it looks a little different. Women are told things like education and career should be their focus. Put off marriage and children. Be independent and self reliant, even in a relationship or marriage. You can do, be, and have it all. There are no limits. Don’t “waste” your potential. Etc. “Be a modern woman.”

I am simplifying as there are many many more layers than this. And many girls and later women work very hard to be and do all that. And it can even seem to be working or work somewhat. Society reinforces and props up the ideas on many levels, furthering the illusion. Yet for many women, despite doing and being all that, life doesn’t work “better” as described. A gnawing uneasiness develops as the mid-30s approach. The cause is often misunderstood. It couldn’t be the pretty little lies!

So she may double down, thinking more independence, career, self-reliance, etc. is what is needed. Maybe a divorce, sudden career change, or move is how it materializes. “Change,” becomes the answer. Perhaps it works short term. But as the decades pass, the discord between how it was supposed to work and how it’s actually working grows.

For many women in their early 40s and above, you are here. (It may occur earlier or later depending on situations and circumstances.)

A choice. Double down again, or admit maybe they were wrong? Maybe you were wrong?  There’s no going back, no do-over, just now. Maybe it’s time to start unraveling the pretty little lies? To reconstruct with what remains?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!