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Yesterday I ran into a colleague for the first time since I heard he and his wife were divorcing. (Click on the link for the backstory.)
He summed it up simply. “I am happier,” he said. Even in a small apartment with next to nothing, he’s happier. And I don’t doubt it. His ex is one of those bitter, unhaaaaapy, always complaining types.
As other men have described it before, after years of trying, years of counseling, years of wanting things to work despite years of her nonsense, one day over a relatively small incident he suddenly just didn’t care anymore. He was done. No looking back. He said he just knew at that moment it was never going to work.
Currently he is supporting her and his son in the house while paying for the apartment as well. He says she wants to keep both her small house she had when they married (a paid off rental) and then the house he had bought shortly before they married too. She wants it all, but has no job and no job skills that would allow her to afford it. He’s already been told she won’t qualify for spousal support. The divorce proceedings are underway and soon I have a feeling that she’s going to be very unhappy when reality hits and she’s living on much reduced means.
I also have a feeling it’s going to be a really harsh reality to swallow when she realizes all the problems she blamed him for are still there. Combined with new problems, like having to move, having to live on much less, having to work, etc.
Meanwhile, he’s happier. He’s living a simple life, and is fine with it. He’ll still go to work and all the rest like before, except instead of coming home to strife he now comes home to peace. Another MGTOW is born.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
My wife called it shoulders. When her dad passed, there was only two guys at the funeral; because all her sisters except for one were divorced. She was used to funerals with my three brothers and myself, so the women had lots of shoulders to console them.
We lived in a redneck area of Vancouver Island; children road their bikes down the street safely; young (and us older) lovers held hands as they walked. We liked it; we had neighbourly potlucks; where sometimes the rules were changed so I was required to provide two trays of brownies and my wife needed to provide sweet and sour both chicken and pork. But nobody ever expected much when things were slim.
BG – i love that … Shoulders … very powerful; very powerful, indeed. so much conveyed in a man being a shoulder for his woman.
so beautiful … your words take me to a place that’s like a dream, but it’s real b/c you’ve lived it. so many memories to warm your soul 🙂
Rewarding women with chocolate = fat bitches.
Reward them skinny bitches with your cock and baby gravy
LOL Ton!
everything in moderation, Ton, everything in moderation … well, chocolate in moderation 😉
“Well, almost I suppose, one night with an aged hooker is worth $130,000? No V can be that good unless it has grown teeth”
Teeth?!?
He wasn’t paying for the V. He was paying for the V to go away quietly.
“He wasn’t paying for the V. He was paying for the V to go away quietly.: aaand the old V didn’t go away quietly, it’s still squeaking. Maybe get Stormy a job in some half-ass college teaching a course of Attention Whoring 101? She could prolong her limelight by years
Ame.
“lol! there must be some physiological connection to chocolate and hormones, specifically pms.”
It’s called addiction…
Isn’t it hypocritical that they can throw away the man, but still demand his support monetarily?
Demanding her marital share, of money he still would have made if he had remained single. And in many cases could have made even more if he had been single.
I think that if the law and the courts took into consideration the actual contribution made to the health and welfare of the other person, The results of a divorce would be very much different.
Even “crooked sperm”is high in protein, and low in saturated fat…
http://www.tmz.com/2018/03/22/stormy-daniels-camster-president-trump-scandal/
‘Isn’t it hypocritical that they can throw away the man, but still demand his support monetarily?’
Very, but perhaps it proves where their heart actually lies.
She has a job teleworking lol
https://camster.com/webcam/stormydaniels/70456
Funny you say that. For years i was made to feel like i was nothing more than a paycheck.
Replaying things in my mind, i can now see that even back to when we were engaged.
If only my eyes had been more open…
LOL!
it is always wise to give purposeful attention to the foundations of one’s diet 😉
@fml yes, it does. I was thinking that as he described the situation. She’ll get half his retirement etc. too. And she was a crappy wife, truly. Didn’t contribute much of anything, even emotionally. If the courts really could determine the “sweat equity” of each, her share would be far less than half.
I do hope he stands up for himself financially rather than just lets her have it all even if that seems “easier” at the time. He doesn’t want his son to have a reduced standard of living, have to change schools, etc. and I can understand that. But I am not sure how that will work out realistically. I suggested maybe he retain ownership and rent to them at below market value until the son starts college or something rather than give her the house outright. At least then he would have the asset later. Of course she may not like that idea vs. just getting it.
All things considered she is getting a pretty good return on 12 years of being a D- spouse.
For example, the final straw moment. He said he had worked a 14 hour day, cooked dinner for himself and the boy, had cleaned up etc. and was winding down, she was away at her book club. She got home and instantly started grilling him, had he checked the boys room to be sure he had cleaned it? Had he done this? Had he done that? Rant, rant, rant. And he just was done. Snap. Saw no hope of it ever getting or being better. He just emotionally checked out at that moment, “F it!”
From Ame
“It’s all or nothing. and once she chooses nothing, it’s always nothing. he’s pulled anchor and sailed and is never coming back.”
Ding! Winner!
A wife is The One Person out of 9+ billion on the planet. ALL!
So to give that up, the other 9+ billion become more than her. Nothing!
I think that if the law and the courts took into consideration … The results of a divorce would be very much different.
when i went to court for the finalization of our divorce … i had to agree to this list of things. the attny hadn’t gone over it before, and in it was stuff like he didn’t do xyz, and i looked at her stunned b/c she knew he did, and she whispered that i just needed to answer okay and let it go b/c it would cause more trouble if i didn’t.
i was already an emotional wreck. he had been doing all these things – i can’t remember the details now and don’t want to, but i had talked to the attny that morning and told her what he’d been doing. she said that she needed to get me out of that asap, called the judge to get us in right before lunch, and i had to make quick arrangements to have another adult cover as i was chaperoning a school thing, and head to the courtroom. i guess the thought was that i would be protected from him by the divorce agreement. idk if that’s actually true, but i guess as her job that’s how she saw it.
he filed. he arranged it all. he created this complex divorce agreement that i never did fully understand. we had one attny, not individual attny’s, and a couple years later when he sued me for custody (b/c he could), i had to get my own attny. he said i should have done that from the beginning … he was right. but i never could do the ‘war’ thing. i just couldn’t. i can fight for what i believe in, but i never believed in the divorce or that it was what was best. i knew it was not best. i knew it was bad. and i knew it would be terrible for our kids 😦
anyway … so much money thrown to a system that feeds out of sucking the life out of people, leaving a wake of destruction wrapped up in the guise that they are helping people. it’s all so sick.
We have often talked of the moment wife goggles smash.
Women don’t believe it. ‘He has always taken my shit so he always will.”
Bloom just described it.
It is literally a moment. A second. A decision to see what is instead of what one hopes.
And it is immutable.
You cannot unring the bell.
(Many choose to not act immediately i.e. the married but checked out guys, but the goggles are gone.)
Earl’s cartoon.
How can anyone NOT be mgtow?
Horseman – it sucks to realize too late that your choices and attitude DO matter in this life … that the years you invest when you’re young have a purpose.
i’ve tried to teach this concept to my girls … that their choices matter … that their attitude matters … that everything they do now will circle back in their future in some form, so choose wisely now.
unfortunately, they learned a lot of this – that choices matter and accumulate – from their dad’s bad example 😦 … tragic, but at least they’ve learned from the tragedy, so it’s not all wasted. i try to pull out the good things he did, too, as much as i can. they need that.
one of the things i will always miss is not having that one man for life … not having our family intact for life. all those years of investing into our marriage and family were torn from me, and i deeply miss that. i have to be careful where and how i share that b/c i don’t want anyone to see that as me disrespecting my now-husband, because i don’t. and he knows that if i could make the changes so both of us could still be married to our first spouse, i would. i’d do it in a heartbeat. because it’s better that way.
even after nine years in my second marriage, it’s just not the same. there’s not the same investment b/c that investment was already given away. i can’t give those 20 years to anyone else … and what we learned and shared in those 20 years cannot be recreated b/c we cannot recreate youth. and what we share when we’re young – in our 20’s and 30’s, is … powerful. it’s just not the same in my second marriage as it was in my first.
‘She got home and instantly started grilling him, had he checked the boys room to be sure he had cleaned it? Had he done this? Had he done that? Rant, rant, rant. And he just was done. Snap. Saw no hope of it ever getting or being better. He just emotionally checked out at that moment, “F it!”’
That’s why tyrannical dictators don’t last forever…eventually enough people go ‘F it!’ Same when it comes to marriage.
‘How can anyone NOT be mgtow?’
Certainly an option if you don’t want a dictator living under your roof.
‘If only my eyes had been more open…’
Hey, they are now.
Sad part is now a lot of women want to throw away the man and not respect the works/fruit he brings her. Example #1…the kids.
@ Ame I think I understand what you are saying but I would counterargue that you never really had in your first marriage what you have now. The first was an illusion, even had you not divorced it would never have been really “real” in the way you long for and how it sounds like you have now bc your ex wasn’t capable of real. Not that it isn’t tragic all the same but hopefully that makes sense? Maybe the bonding/investment you describe is caused by gaslighting and abuse, so was actually an unhealthy toxic bond? Toxic relationships can of course be more intense, that’s often why people stay despite being mistreated, but intense isn’t necessarily better. And again hope that makes sense…. I don’t mean to cause distress.
Or to put it another way maybe you grieve what it wasn’t (but if healthy could have been) more than what it was?
Like the guy in this example. He certainly deserved more. He realized she simply was NOT CAPABLE of being a loving supportive partner and no amount of counseling or whatever was going to change that. And knowing her I believe he is right about that. She would not be capable of that relationship w anyone.
But when you look at their annual professional photos of them as a “happy family” it looks so. The photos are touching, beautiful. It looks so much like something it never was. 😦 an illusion not a marriage, not a family, at least not in a true sense.
The women in this post is one of the two described in this post from 2015, btw… https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2015/09/21/dont-be-a-harpy/
no – you do not cause me distress. and these are very good questions.
i think there was a lot that was real, but there was a lot that was toxic … that was a dream or a hope that he might one day get better.
that picture thing … that’s rough. we have this set of pics taken for Aspie Girl’s first birthday. we fought all the way there – or, rather, he was angry with me all the way there, and i had been crying the whole way. i think i was blessed to be able to cry and not have any visible effects left over. and in these pics, we look like the most happy and beautiful family.
on the crying … there were several years where we worked close together and ate lunch together most everyday, and many of those times i remember coming back to work and going straight to the bathroom to check to see if anyone could tell i’d been crying.
i also learned to cry without him knowing b/c he’d be harsher on me.
– – –
what i’m learning, though … is that i cannot recreate those years of my youth with anyone else … and those years count. i’m not diminishing what i have now … i’m just trying to share with those who might think it’s no big deal, that they can throw those years away, that they can start over, because it doesn’t matter anyway.
and what i’m learning is that it DOES matter. it matters a whole, whole lot. friends my age who are still married to their first husbands, despite having rough years and hard times, are in a whole different place in life than i will ever be – i will never have the opportunity to be where they are. they’ve stayed in, together … they’ve endured, together … and they’re reaping the benefits of doing so. they’re not depleted from giving to more than one marriage – and marriage takes giving of yourself … i didn’t understand this fully to the extent that it does until several years into my second marriage. there are things i cannot give to my second marriage because they’ve already been given to my first, and i cannot recreate that, and i cannot get it back. it’s gone. and the same is true for him – there are things he gave away to his first wife that are not there for him to give to me. a lot of this is in the experiences of youth … the memories of times shared – both good and bad … of facing those mountains and climbing them together. there is an energy and innocence in youth that we cannot recreate in mid-life because it’s gone. knowledge, once gained, cannot be unknown.
i’ve hesitated sharing this because i’m not sure i can articulate it correctly. in no way do i want to diminish what i have now or how blessed i am that i’m his 🙂 … but i see what i lost, now, from a different pov. and i see what he lost from a different pov (he has a similar story to many men out here).
there’s a flippancy in youth, i think, that we can get another chance, and another chance, and by getting another chance it will be like starting with a clean slate. but that’s a lie. we will never have a clean slate again. that ship has sailed. our slate now has stuff on it, life experiences done and shared with someone else – both good and bad – that we cannot go back to and share with someone new coming into our lives.”
– – –
i also wonder sometimes if he had to lump everything into how terrible i was at the end to justify doing what he did. if he began to take responsibility for his own stuff and to face it and deal with it, then he would have to accept that we really did have some good times in there … that, though i was definitely flawed and young and stupid, i was a good wife, a good woman, and i was good to him, and i was a great mother. to give in any to the goodness meant it would begin to shatter the lie that protected his lies or whatever it was.
does that make sense at all?
i used to pray as i cried myself to sleep, which was most every night of our marriage b/c he would just turn over and go to sleep hardly acknowledging i was there … i used to pray that God would make it worth it someday, that He would make the endurance worth it. it certainly did not turn out the way i thought it would or the way I thought God should make it worth it. and i can’t say that i’m convinced He has from my very limited pov, but i have to trust that because He is God, and He doesn’t waste anything, that He is taking these things and making something beautiful out of them whether i see it or not (or acknowledge it or not), in His time and in His ways which are all so much higher and better than mine.
😦
whining and complaining can become addictive … and we tend to draw other like-minded people into our whining and complaining with us that reinforces our whining and complaining. women love to get on that bandwagon.
it’s why i’ve advocated that men get to know a woman’s friends, if possible. cause they have such a powerful influence over her, esp in negative things.
women have a difficult time supporting each other with good things – too jealous, i guess. but they love to jump on the whining and complaining hayride and take it till it tumbles in the dump.
I do get it Ame. I try to explain that to my girls too. Value your innocence, stay innocent. Life makes us jaded when we endure heartbreak(s). Better to just wait. And yes I get that too, the building together in youth thing. I sometimes wonder myself, had I known then what I know now, could we have been one of those couples who struggled but made it? I’ll never know. I wish I had then what I have w my guy now. I wish I had met my guy now back then and we had shared all those years. But all that wishing… kinda dangerous vs. living in the here and now and what IS. Who knows “what might have been.” It was what it was. It is what it is. We are both lucky to have another chance! I’ll be embracing mine in person later today! 😉
yes, it’s a bit of a slippery slope to even bring it up. but sometimes i just want to shake younger women and show them the truth. people want to look at me and say, “Well, that’s all good and well for you now that you’ve found a good man.” well … yes … but, there’s a better way – don’t throw away your opportunity for the better way because of a few rough years … b/c you don’t like the way he does xyz … b/c of things that seem big but are really negligible in the scheme of life … etc … cause, someday, this will become part of the glue that makes you stronger together and more beautiful together … you will have a life-story together rather than a partial-life-story.
so … it’s a bit of a risk sharing it.
getting a second chance does not erase all the previous years.
and, yes, we both wish we’d met first 🙂
– – –
anyway … YAY that you get to see him later today!!!!!!! i know you need him. even though it’s a hectic season, just having him there will ground you 🙂
enjoy your time without stressing over not being able to give him all of it 🙂
i think that my mom used my divorce to give her ‘courage’ (for lack of a better word) to leave my dad b/c she did so not long after my divorce was final.
i don’t ever want to give someone the ‘courage’ to leave their husband because i am divorced (and in a difficult season, they won’t care who filed in my case or other details) … and then i found a great guy and remarried and am happy.
i don’t want my story to, in some distorted way, give them ‘hope’ or ‘permission’ to be stupid.
rather … i’d like to be honest with them and tell the the truth … that while i love my second husband and we have a really great marriage, in both our opinions 😉 … it’s not the same as sticking it out with your first one … that it’s better to face your own stuff and deal with it, make the necessary changes, and make your marriage work rather than thinking, “I can be like Ame! She proves the grass is greener with another man!”
stop being stupid. look at the whole picture.
when i was a single mom, my girls were little – kinder and second grade … and their dad would pick them up for 38 hours every other weekend. in between, my Aspie Girl would have terrible nights b/c of full-gut issues and lots of pain, so i rarely got a full night’s sleep, and i didn’t have any down time while she was at school b/c i was on-call the whole time, and she was an enormous amount of work before and after school, and Oldest needed a huge amount of time and attention. i was so exhausted that i would sleep most of that 38 hours.
another married mom who had two girls the ages of mine whined to me one day that she wished SHE had a weekend off every other weekend to just sleep!
i was … dumbstruck. really? she thought it was a joyride? i had a special needs daughter with significant mental and physical issues, a second grader whose grief was profound, both needing significant amounts of time with me leaving extremely little, if any, for myself … and she wanted what i had?! seriously? she thought it was better b/c her husband didn’t jump at her beck-and-call?!
for most women, even reading the truth and telling them the truth, they will only see what they want to see. but, perhaps, there will be a few out there who will read this someday and step back, and take a hard look at themselves and their lives, and realize doing the work to stay in where they are is really best. that they already have the good life, they just need to nurture it and love on it rather than criticize it and focus only on the bad. that it really is worth it to do so and to sick it out. and, most importantly, that it really is best for your kids in both the short term and long run.
Yay Bloom!
Hope you have a great day with your man. 🙂
And well said, Ame.
Per the topic, if I got a dime for every man who was happier post divorce, and woman whose life turned to crap in exactly the same proportion, I’d have a full piggy bank of dimes.
I’d have a full piggy bank of dimes.
me thinks there’d be a shortage of dimes, and they’d be beggin you to deposit them for cash 😉
Ames
I consider you friend and respect you. And the others here.
Know that because what I am about to say is harsh
but its out of friendship and an objective perspective and if I am off base tell me.
So. Here goes.
SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!
You are displaying classic alpha widowhood behaviour towards your first husband!!!
He was an asshole but it is coulda woulda shoulda. Its not the same nine years into my second marriage….etc etc.
Sharing is great, don’t stop. But as your friends we need to help you not just listen.
You have a good man now. Focus on him. Learn from the past but dont live there!!
You aren’t the same as twenty years ago. Me and Mrs arent either.
You and he are together now.
Thats all that matters!
A casual read would suggest you are not that enthused about your current husband, “its not just the same” blah blah. I know thats not the case. But it sure sounds like it.
So Snap out of it. Live for today. Live for him! Live for you! NOW!!
Go make him a sammich. Greet him at the door in a smile (if ya know what I mean.)!
Go enjoy what you have today.
Yesterday for good, bad, great, worse….IS GONE!!
That is all.
Nothin to see here. Move along.
here’s another part of the whole … or another perspective we can’t see when we’re younger … but one Horseman keeps referring to b/c his wife is in this age group.
let’s use straws for our example … you know … just to be ornery 😉
so … we’re all born with, let’s say, 50 straws. these are stress-straws. every time we go thru any thing stressful, we lose a straw – and once a straw is gone, it can never be replaced. rough childhood illness? straw. puberty? straw. surgery? straw. parents divorce? several straws. etc.
our own divorce? lots of straws.
being a single mom? are there enough straws?
our child getting seriously ill? straw, or two, or more.
developing a new relationship with children still at home? yep, at least one straw.
remarrying and blending a family? definitely a straw or two or more.
balancing multiple families – yours, mine, ours, our children’s other parents families … especially on holidays? straw. or two.
our own kids going thru puberty? how many do we have left? lol!
and then the natural progressions of life for a woman, including perimenopause and menopause.
and you get to where i am … fixing to be 54 in a few months (EEEEK!!!) … and i just don’t have the energy i did even ten years ago … and it’s not just physical energy, but mental and emotional energy.
and i’m watching friends the same age as i, who are still married to the first guy … who have a lot more straws left than i do … so their stress levels are much more calm … their hearts and souls and minds and bodies have been thru a whole lot less than i have …
and therefore they have something i will never have …
they have … all this free mental and emotional and physical space left with which to not only live and do things not just for themselves but for others … in ways i will never have.
they can start something new with their Man – something he’s always wanted to do but it wasn’t prudent when the kids were still at home … they can do volunteer work … or ministry work … or help in unique ways … or serve in unique ways … because their minds and bodies are free to do so. they still have a lot of straws left. and they will likely die with quite a few straws left someday. they just didn’t need them all.
it’s not a lack of appreciation for what i do have … it’s an acceptance of the reality of what is.
those bad and stupid choices made when we’re young (our own choices and/or another’s choices that directly impacts us) … those cost, a lot. we often can’t see the cost when we’re young b/c we still have so much life in us … but as we get older? it seems to snowball.
and … here’s the hard part … even if we get back on the good path … even if we take all those ashes and make something beautiful, it still costs us, a lot, and those straws are gone forever.
these are things i don’t know how to articulate well. i don’t know how to explain the gravity of how these choices play out over the long run … as we age.
can we make the best of what we’ve got? absolutely! i love LOVE my Husband 🙂 . i’m so deeply grateful for him. we laugh a lot. he is kind and good yet firm and strong. when i go off on my bitchy whatevers, he just looks at me and says, “Sheeit,” and walks away. lol! that or, “Buuull Sheeit,” and walks away, if he acknowledges it at all. but he doesn’t use it against me. he doesn’t make me pay for being human, for making mistakes, or for simply being a woman. it truly is wonderful. but it comes with a cost. a very high cost.
for those who have the choice to do so, choose wisely when you’re young. save your straws for that elusive (but oh.so.very.real day) when you get older and wish you still had them. can there be green grass someday on the other side? sure. but it comes with a very high cost. wouldn’t you rather put that effort and investment into something more lasting than simply surviving?
(fifty-freakin-four?!!! i think i’ll go into denial and curl up in a corner and suck my thumb! where’s my blankie? i need my blankie!)
jeez..I just do not understand why american men insist on fishing in the same polluted fishing hole when the KNOW they will catch nothing but carp….guessing ignorance, perhaps lazy or familiarity is the reasons…whatever
“(fifty-freakin-four?!!! i think i’ll go into denial and curl up in a corner and suck my thumb! where’s my blankie? i need my blankie!)”
LOL! Ame,Ame, Ame…what are we going to do with you? You are soooo right, life is over at 54, yup, one foot in the grave and the other on ice! How shall we compare hitting the big 54?? Plane crash? yup..Train wreck?? Over the hill, MOST CERTAINLY!!
55th birthday celebration!
🙂
i hear you.
i just hate for women to make these choices young thinking it’s okay … they’ll get a 2nd chance at life, and they can move on like nothin ever happened.
i’m in a place thru experience where i can speak to that.
loving my life now does not mean i don’t wish it could have been different … not just for me, but for my husband and his kids, too. things about his first wife came up this past week, and i just hate that woman. i hate what she did to him and their kids. i hate how she lied to their kids about him. i hope her guilt keeps her awake at night. and i really hope i never have a chance to tell her how i feel b/c i know i won’t be able to do it justice 🙂 .
if we marry young and live a long life … we get to be married 50, 60+ years? so what if a good number are hard ones. life is hard. suck it up. stick it out. and do it well with a good attitude. because it’s worth it. because your marriage is worth it. and because your kids are worth it. Mrs. Horseman made the better choice, and all of you are better off because of it 🙂
LOL! Ame,Ame, Ame…what are we going to do with you?
lol! i know! i’m just a hot mess! no one ever accused me of being bland and unemotional!!! LOL!
“no one ever accused me of being bland and unemotional!!!” No one sane would dare to accuse you of being bland….kinda like a dab of Tabasco sauce on a chocolate chip cookie, a bit surprising, eh?
Horseman,
“We have often talked of the moment wife goggles smash.
Women don’t believe it. ‘He has always taken my shit so he always will.”
Bloom just described it.
It is literally a moment. A second. A decision to see what is instead of what one hopes.
And it is immutable.
You cannot unring the bell.”
The husband wears the wife-goggles voluntarily and usually with full knowledge he is doing so. The wife should do everything in her power to ensure the goggles fit comfortably as he wears them. Ladies, you absolutely cannot afford to fuck that up.
50 freakin 4. Yup. Thats me too. 1964! Great vintage.
From society’s point of view, yup invisible, over the hill etc.
But as the skit says “I’m not dead yet! I don’t want to go on the cart!”
Its what you do with it.
I know holy contradiction Batman!
My beef is always with the unrealists, the life will go on being rainbows and lollipops.
Similarly with the “its over I give up” crowd.
I am never again going to get out of bed without something hurting. But I still get up.
I am never going to bang a 30 year old so I bang the 53 year old next to me. (Yes the bitch is younger than me by a few months, not that I can ever forget it.)
Toaists have no afterlife, no reincarnation. Life is. Then it is not. So we live each day.
LIVE.
Fully aware
Fully accepting
Fully responsible.
Mrs. Horseman made the better choice, and all of you are better off because of it 🙂
NO!!!
She made A choice. No better no worse. Just different.
She would gladly change the year from hell and the ten wasted years living up to it.
Because of looking into the abyss we are grsteful for what we have now.
I think that is where you are.
Looking into the Abyss.
Look. Ponder. Grieve for what might have been.
Then step back.
Give you another perspective.
Her two best friends since high school. Chat daily. I call them the three stooges.
We all went to high school together. All 1964 classic vintage.
One’s hubby got had an accident a few years ago and broke his neck. No paralysis but his body is fucked up.
The other got married at 50+ for the first time and a few months later hubby stroked. Survived but his language is fucked up.
I DIED the first time at 34, the second time at 36.
Yes. Died. Flatlined. But like Johnny I am back.
We are of the age where even forget accidents, SHIT can happen.
Tomorrow could be the day one says “if only I had yesterday back”
GO LIVE!!
All of you.
(Except Ton. That fucker is gonna fuckin live forever, ornery old fuck.)
Larry
I did that!!
While learning bounced a landing and drove a trike into the hanger at about 40 knots.
1964? here ya go…
“Larry I did that!!
While learning bounced a landing and drove a trike into the hanger at about 40 knots.”
Mine was a Cessna 172 at 11K feet. The instructor thought it might be a good idea to show me what happens when the engine quits working, one wing works and the other one doesn’t. Flat spin. Real interesting watching mother earth doing 360 every 5 seconds.
At around 5k I finally got my shit together and hit rudder, dickhead just sat there next to me grinning like an idiot. Good instructor, we didn’t die
“drove a trike into the hanger at about 40 knots.” So, did you break the hanger?
I had an artificial horizon tumble on me at fl 130 in hard ifr. Lost about 3000 in a hard left turn before i realized what was happening, and tracon didn’t even notice. Ended up flying on only the turn coordinator and altimeter, and shooting the ils against the active traffic pattern. I broke out of the clouds just barely before the map.
Scariest thing i’ve ever been through.
FML, ain’t altitude adrenaline great?
It scared the living shit out of me. Took awhile to get me back in a plane after that.
LMAO!!! “It scared the living shit out of me. Took awhile to get me back in a plane after that.”
My pants cleaned up well too when I got home after debriefing….
My flight instructor had a few words of wisdom every time before we took off…”whatever you do, don’t fuck up.” Kinda to the point I’d say.
FML, Larry, and horseman are all pilots?
ASEL-IA with retract & high performance endorsements. Used to fly Socata TB-20s and PA32-300s.
nope…I ran out of money before getting a license. Got as far as navigating by instrument only…(sigh). But what the hell, I had a great time while it lasted.
aaaand later on I was posted to a South Pacific island for my job (18 months) where I took up SCUBA diving. That I was PADI certified for to 40 feet, single tank
I got to fly a C5 Galaxy simulator at Westover AFB for about an hour back in 1998. What an amazing experience.
Liz, this was all post-divorce.
Heh, that’s cool FML! Sorry Larry…our oldest is trying to get his license now. It’s really expensive. My father in law (RIP) used to build aerobatics planes (still has a very dusty Christen Eagle in his hangar). It really gave Mike an edge with the experience he got flying those things.
whoa…”I got to fly a C5 Galaxy simulator at Westover AFB for about an hour back in 1998. What an amazing experience.” Big ass plane. Did you splatter a couple of times?
“aaaand later on I was posted to a South Pacific island for my job (18 months) where I took up SCUBA diving. That I was PADI certified for to 40 feet, single tank”
I’ll bet THAT was awesome (though there are a lot of big fishes in the Pacific)
LOL! Shit, I knew it was going to damn near drain the piddly account I had left; but to fly??? Hell yeah!
“Sorry Larry…our oldest is trying to get his license now. It’s really expensive”
Better for me pay to fly than mundane things like food and rent.
Liz, f you have 15 minutes to spare
Kwajalein, Rep. of Marshall Islands
Not even once. I had a few of my employees with me, and one of them hurled during a really tight turn. That’s why it only lasted an hour.
Never let him live it down…
some 3 months after my divorce was a done deal, my boss called me into his office one morning and told me to sit. He said he was going to offer me a job, slight pay cut, to get me away from the shit storm I had just gone though.
Did I know where New Zealand was? Yeah. Well, you ain’t going there! Going to send your smiling ass to a coral island 2 miles long and 200 yards wide for 18 months. 2000 sea miles from any major land mass. Buh BYE!
Did my divorce recovery there mostly.
“one of them hurled during a really tight turn.” Dare I say this? Excellent!!!
Is it complete?
It was epic! Poor bastard never should have said he was getting queezy. Gave me the extra incentive to nose down, then pull up and turn.
Kinda where i’d like to move to right now.
Pitcairn anyone? lol
Ame, one of the things that I am learning is that people with borderline personality disorder can fake it for decades. The entire relationship with them is an illusion. It can be an elaborate and long-lasting illusion but an illusion all the same.
I go to church on Sundays. The church in my suburb closed down, so no I have to go downtown to the original church. There are at most fifty people attending on any Sunday. Eligible singles are hard to come by, so I was the fresh meat when I walked in. I am fifty years old. Two women in their mid-fifties made it clear that they would like me to hit on them.
At lunch the first woman and I had a conversation about dating these days. She said that she had been on all of the sites and that there were no good men. I said that she could have any man that she wanted if she would just email them. I explained that during my last internet dating session, which lasted about six months, I sent out 120 emails, each one taking fifteen minutes to draft, and my efforts resulted in five dates and no second dates. My response rate was ten percent and my date rate was five percent. She said that she could not bring herself to initiate contact with a man. I told her that it was due to women like her that I gave up and now only have sex with hookers. She shamed me for not wanting a relationship and only being interested in sex. I asked her why I would want to have a relationship with a woman who could not be bothered to email a man. She never came back to church.
The second woman just stood there waiting for me to ask her out. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She never came back to church either.
Women do not understand that their situation has changed. She is not the prize. I am the prize. She has to offer me something. Offering me sex is a good start; in fact, it is the ante required to get into the game. She is competing with a hooker who is half her age and who, for a day’s wage, will beg me to give it to her sideways. Not only do these women not have anything to offer, they don’t even aspire to have anything to offer.
Gut Chuckle in progress “Poor bastard never should have said he was getting queezy. Gave me the extra incentive to nose down, then pull up and turn.” You know you are evil, right?
Mgtowhorseman really helped me out with his explanation of why he would not marry any woman who gets involved with him now that he is in his mid-fifties. That is an important perspective for me to adopt.
Pitcairn?? Oh hell no, man. New Caledonia.. had a month’s R&R there; damn little rest though
A little 😎
FML, you already know this so this is just a repeat; there is a smorgasbord of wife material and willing women offshore of the US of A. Just have to have the balls to go find one that suits you.
Thanks, but i am never going down that road again. “might” have a casual relationship at some point in the future, but i am never going to get serious with anyone ever again.
One of my neighbors who is 48 y/o and a decent 7, has been sniffing around. Nice person, and might actually give her a twirl at some point. But that’s about it.
I have been thinking about moving OCONUS, and have looked at Svalbad, Iceland, Scotland, Falklands, and Pitcairn. Distant and remote and off the beaten path is very enticing.
I’d have to give away some gats before i could do any of those.
i love y’all out here 🙂
will come back individually a bit later when i have more time … but …
my husband loves for me to flash him, so i usually wear ‘clothes’ that easily let me do that – remember my 20 and 18 year old daughters still live at home. he and i were having fun with that (in the kitchen, i think, i can’t remember … i kinda got a bit disoriented after getting caught), a few weeks ago when my Oldest slipped in. he was cracking up! i tried to cover up what i was doing, but i’m not sure i did. she didn’t ask, so neither did i mention it! she’d have just rolled her eyes at me, anyway 🙂
have had quite a few close calls with them, but that’s the first time i was caught!
we have a LOT of fun. he amazes me all.the.time that he can love and accept me just as i am. blows me away. even just this morning he reminded me of this and left me in (sweet) tears as he left for work. i am so eternally grateful.
forget the past? can’t do that … i’d have to forget a lot of the good things, too … and he’s my daughter’s father. i don’t want to forget someone so critically important in their lives. he’s a part of our daily life. we talk about him all the time. my girls know that’s always an open book – they can read from it and ask questions all they want. i’ll never close and shelve it; that would break them even more … and i will not intentionally hurt my children just to make life easier on me.
https://theredpillproverbsbible.wordpress.com/
1. The Bible Book of Proverbs says:
“It is better to live alone in an attic than in a big house with a contentious woman.”
Red Pill Proverb # 34:
A wise woman builds her home; but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. – Proverbs 14:1
Fnu Mnu Lnu
https://theredpillproverbsbible.wordpress.com/
1. The Bible Book of Proverbs says:
“It is better to live alone in an attic than in a big house with a contentious woman.”
Red Pill Proverb # 34:
A wise woman builds her home; but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. – Proverbs 14:1
yes, Sir! so … Mama’s … do not raise foolish, contentious daughters 🙂 … my girls both know that if they wanna be foolish and contentious, they are out. living here is a privilege, not a rite. continue to earn it … even my Aspie Girl knows this.
Roger Blakely MGTOW
Mgtowhorseman really helped me out with his explanation of why he would not marry any woman who gets involved with him now that he is in his mid-fifties. That is an important perspective for me to adopt.
this is another reason i wrote all that out … trying to help understand the mentality of women in this age group, their expectation … vs the reality ‘on the ground’ as y’all have said before.
women never stop thinking they’re 20 and should be worshiped by men. women never stop dreaming about their Prince Charming, hoping he’ll come along and whisk them off to a world where they can build something amazing and beautiful.
but the reality is … youth cannot be recreated … and the dreams and life you can build from youth can ONLY be built in youth.
what BG had … what Horseman has … what Liz and Mike have … what Stephanie and her husband are creating … those began in youth … not in their 40’s.
so you legally strap yourself to a woman in her 40’s … and she’s thinking she can have this dream b/c you’re her prince charming … but she soon realizes it’s not possible … and she never (rarely) blames herself or takes responsibility for it or even, at minimum, accepts that this can never happen and will never happen (again) in my life because my youth is gone.
who wants a woman like that? none of you. i don’t even want to be around a woman like that.
i have a sister who is like all the women described out here. but she’s in her late 40’s and thinks she can still find her Prince Charming … and is jealous of me b/c i have my Husband?!!! she’s deluded.
yes, my marriage is wonderful. but it will never be what it could have been if we’d begun this journey in our youth.
i don’t want women looking at me and thinking it’s worth killing what they have to have what i have.
and i don’t want men looking at me and thinking all women my age are like me.
b/c the reality is … we have a good marriage b/c we accept what is, and what is not … and we don’t expect from each other what we cannot give.
and getting married to him in my 40’s – him early 50’s – there’s a lot of reality we had to accept, harsh reality, in order for it to be as great as it is.
Basic cert expired 20 years ago.
Fly ultralight trikes now.
Uncontrolled strip.
Broke the bird, four ribs, scuffed the paint on the hangar.
Still can’t figure out how I did it. Musta held the bar in trying to plant it on the deck.
Fml.
Holy fuck. Bring me my brown pants.
Fly a Northwing trike with a Rotax. Lots of Hercs and Globemasters in the area training out of Trenton low level in the area. They like to mock us on the traffic calls into our uncontrolled strip.
“C148d fl025 5 miles west of stirling.”
Ten minutes later when I am facing a 20 knot headwind giving me a ground speed of about 5 knots.
“C148d fl025 still 5 miles west of stirling.”
Meanwhile Globemaster has been zooming around the area practicing combat approaches.
“Banjo 115, ah 48 delta, would you like a tow?”
Assholes.
Then I really shouldn’t tell Larry we bought our winter place on the island next to Roatan on the mesamerican reef. Going down to meet with our builder in January.
Too funny. Been thinking about LSAs or ultralights. But living and flying in the DC ADIZ isn’t fun.
Started flying trikes only a few years ago when the kids left and we sold the farm.
Waaaaaaay cheaper than traditional.
Plus its just a seat belt and some aluminum tubing between you and the air.
Course wearing a snowmobile suit in august during taxi sucks!!
Its fucking cold up there!!
Do miss a good stall recovery though.
“Waddaya mean push the nose Down?? Aaaagh we’re gonna die!!
Red Pill Proverb # 261:
You didn’t just fall off the turnip truck yesterday. A woman doesn’t suddenly start shaving her snatch and wearing fancy panties because she is talking with someone…they fancy it up because someone is using it…and it wasn’t you. Not then and now now. Ask me how I know, but you won’t like the answer!
They are the bomb.
Actually got into them because way back when I was in logistics Bill Lieshman was a client. Showed me his birds a few times. He’s about two hours and pops into the local field here a few times. P.s. the movie was bullshit, the documentary was way better.
So once the kids gone I signed up. About four weeks and 2k and I was licenced.
My bird used was about 11k.
Only problem is the short season here and the wind restrictions. Anything over 25 and its a bitch. That and late afternoon thermals.
“Um why am I indicating +400 fpm with the engine at idle”
Ame,
“..this is another reason i wrote all that out … trying to help understand the mentality of women in this age group, their expectation … vs the reality ‘on the ground’ as y’all have said before.”
Of the comments you have written, this one above hits closest to home and is top heavy in truth. I am very happy to call you my friend, glad you have a good place and man to call your own. I give you static on line and sometimes in private, you get a laugh out of it which does you good.
Horseman was right when he said “You have a good man now. Focus on him. Learn from the past but don’t live there!!”
Like my flight instructor kept telling me ”whatever you do, don’t fuck up.”
Horseman,
“Then I really shouldn’t tell Larry we bought our winter place on the island next to Roatan on the mesamerican reef. Going down to meet with our builder in January.”
well ok then. You invite me to Roatan and I invite you to Cyprus. How does that sound?
Horses, standard cars, backhoes, boats, planes.
If I can climb aboard and start it, I can drive it.
Now if that only worked on women.
Hmmm. Master switch on. Battery on. Fuel pump on. Mixture set to full rich….
Now where the fuck are the igniters on this bitch???
Done.
was thinking of a guys weekend.
You, me, fml, ton, cill….
The sheeeeiiiitt we could get into!!!
LOL!!! The “Start” button on women is a mislabeled kill switch!