Tags
androgeny, dating, equality, men, modern marriage, red pill, relationship, women
Quote found elsewhere:
“The women of today don’t believe the men are manly enough, and the men of today don’t believe the women are womanly enough. Both are correct.”
What do you think? Please share in the comments!
Advertisements
Ladies.
Please refute the reversing of the typical im done dating bad boys that TFM mentions.
I.e.
You are interested in a guy, 30, handsome, rich. He dates hot twenty somethings. Ignores you. Then he loses his fortune, not broke, just an average guy. The young hotties abandon him sensing the money is gone. For a while he desperastely tries to get hot chicks. Then he turns to you. Says he has matured. He is done dating “hot chicks, your not like that.” He wants someone “stable, solid”
Would you marry him. Knowing he wanted a hot chick and he sees you as not hot at all.
That is EXACTLY what you are saying when you say you are done with badboys.
Do you get the soul crushing message of this now?
Do you get why most men will tell you to get stuffed?
Do you see why long term marriage after 30 is rediculious?
Why soon marriage at all is dead?
Yes you can start over, 2nd marriage, etc. It does happen.
For some of you its holding on to the hope that it does happen.
But how, or why?
But to literally grow up, from 16 in my case or say twenty. Then spend twenty+ years with someone. The long term comfort, the she is just there.
How is it even possible to rebuild.
How do you go from that, knowing how she moves, thinks, takes her mashed potatoes (coffee is easy), how she feeds the cat.
How do you go from that to an akward first three months of dating?
How do you have that first few nights sleeping together. Not sex, just sleeping.
When for twenty years you knew how she moves, when she farts, even when to wake up because she is doing that not breathing thing again. How she reaches for your hand in her sleep?
Yes it happens.
But you cant replace a thirty year marriage.
I dont think many of you can relate to this statement to the depth it is meant. Not critizing, just few experience it…
“Living with her is like breathing, you just do it.
Sometimes sighing, sometimes puffing in anger, sometimes gasping for breath 😉 but you dont think about it, it just is.
I cannot fathom having to think about it.
Too bad 95%+ of your readers have no clue what I am talking about.”
Having to think about what your new love is thinking about or thinks about you.
When you just know what she thinks, instinctually, without effort.
I could not do that.
Sadder still is maybe 1 in 1000 these days will ever experience this. To get thru some bad shit, together, stay together, and grow to where you get to this point.
Most will be lucky to get to year ten.
hey horseman,
You and I are on the same page with marriage, but I think your are trying to show the apathetic and clueless what real commitment to a wife looks like…I seriously doubt that too many of today’s women actually give a shit about growing old with one man.
Lots of the things you mentioned about really knowing your wife, the bad, good and gross comes only from time (decades!) spent together. We made promises to our women, and kept those promises and stuck it out.
“Too bad 95%+ of your readers have no clue what I am talking about.” and they are not interested, ok? Too busy playing the AF/BB games to know that one day, all that “fun” will come to a screeching halt.
Telling the arrogant and silly females anything is a total waste of time and energy. Bloom herself said that is the purpose of her blog was to reach and educate the half dozen women left in the US of A that they need to carefully consider their choices. Huge impact? Nope. But Bloom has given it a shot.
Horseman, during these final years that I may have left, I am not going to waste any more time or effort worrying about things I cannot change (nor would I want to if I could). Let them sink or swim on their own, no one wants out opinion or assistance,
With all that being said, I bid you adieu.
i think Bloom writes to those who want to hear.
the number of people who truly want to know the Truth has always been small relative to the population, so speaking the Truth will always go against the flow of culture. are there some cultures in history and time that are more receptive to Truth than others? absolutely. but overall, the number who want to know will always be a small percentage of the whole. there is nothing new under the sun.
and i think Bloom is doing an awesome job out here … and in her personal life.
– – –
i do know some couples my age and older who have what Horseman has and even some who have it better. there are a tiny few who get to live their lives in a sort of utopia … they have parents on both sides who were amazing parents as they grew up and who support and strengthen them as adults and who love and support their grandchildren … who have worked through the ebb and flow of life and are going strong … whose worst tragedy (and i am NOT minimizing these AT ALL) is a miscarriage … or the earlier-than-normal death of a parent or grandparent – these are ‘normal’ life challenges. they do not know divorce or abuse or single parenting or troubled kids or abandonment or adultery.
but for the majority of the population from the beginning … we’ve had to deal with hard stuff … Cain murdered Abel … parents favored one child over another to the extreme … adultery … incest … abandonment … murder. it’s all there … throughout all of history.
the difference is what we choose to do with what we’ve got. do we do the best we can with what we’ve got … taking responsibility and owning what is ours … forgiving when necessary … pulling on our boots and moving on? or do we wallow in selfishness, blaming everyone else for everything, expecting more than we give, caring only for ourselves?
we can’t get back the past. we cannot undo what has been done. but we CAN make conscious, significant choices to live right from here on out … to accept responsibility for the choices we’ve made – even when it costs us something … to have a good attitude … to care about and help others … to love fiercely whomever is brought into our path … to forgive … to be cautious with trust … to be grateful for what we do have.
@horseman said: To start over again. To try it again, doing the hard emotional labor of getting to know her and relationship building. To continue the work. To keep investing.
Then I said: But some are forced to, either though divorce or the death of a spouse. Second or third time around will never be what the first time around is – simply because you start at a different point in the aging process, and with different assumptions. That is not necessarily bad.
The point being discussed was horseman’s thought that most / many men choose to stay married when they consider all that would be involved in starting over. I was agreeing with horseman with my comment. And was stating the obvious, a truth: with a second marriage, the man is not starting at the same spot that he started from with his first marriage; and with a third marriage, the man is not starting at the same spot that he started from with his second marriage. Simply because he is older physically, and more experienced emotionally, each marriage will be underpinned by a different dynamic. I concluded by saying that this was not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just a real thing..
Then Stephanie said: I do wonder how true this is of women under a certain age though.
horseman and I were not discussing women. We were discussing what is mostly true for men. So – Stephanie, I don’t disagree with anything you said in your post. I can’t, because you were discussing women and I was discussing men. But consider this statement of yours: … they have really good marriages. But they’re the 2nd wife … I’m willing to bet that the marriage is really good because they are the second wife. They are not married to the same man that the first wife was married to. Just like the second child in the family is not raised by the same parents the first child was raised by. There is experience and wisdom informing the parent’s / husband’s behavior the second time around that was not there the first time around.
Off-topic, but not entirely unrelated to the subject of womanly charms. I was playing an old playlist earlier in the day when this song came on. It made me think of Stephanie’s current avatar – where she is looking sort of sideways at the camera wih a sad / sweet look on her face (maybe just exhausted from being the mother of three). I wonder how many here have ever heard this song. This needs something more than laptop computer or iPhone speakers if you have them.
The Shadow of Your Smile – Boots Randolph
“the difference is what we choose to do with what we’ve got.”
Exactly, I choose to try to be positive where possible, and to truly at least try to explain when I cannot. My wife and myself raised our two nephews during the summer holidays and sometimes during the Easter break because their frivorced mother wasn’t much. Both married, both made a daughter, and both were divorced. The older’s break up was the ugliest, she broke his jaw with a whiskey bottle, then had several of her friends kick his ribs in. She took the kid and escaped to her reserve where they could not be brought to justice. He spent a week in hospital then went to work and sent money to the band for her daughter for more than 20 years.
So he is relatively comfortable but pretty much MGTOW now, he says if he wants a woman, he will rent her. I give him a little heat about that, but he just says, ” You got lucky, they broke the mold after her.”
Again, only because of fake morality. Not that i agree with cheating on a SO, or using “professionals”. But things are what they are.
“The point being discussed was horseman’s thought that most / many men choose to stay married when they consider all that would be involved in starting over. I was agreeing with horseman with my comment. And was stating the obvious, a truth: with a second marriage, the man is not starting at the same spot that he started from with his first marriage; and with a third marriage, the man is not starting at the same spot that he started from with his second marriage. Simply because he is older physically, and more experienced emotionally, each marriage will be underpinned by a different dynamic. I concluded by saying that this was not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just a real thing..”
Well, I can’t speak for anyone else, but when I was first married we were broke, homeless (living with his parents), sleeping on a twin sized bed. He delivered pizzas, I went to school and temped and substitute taught.
I wouldn’t really want to go back to that either. But it was a step in our growth as a couple. Every private joke (and we’ve got an arsenal full after 26 years) has an origin. Often a painful origin.
“I can’t, because you were discussing women and I was discussing men. But consider this statement of yours: … they have really good marriages. But they’re the 2nd wife … I’m willing to bet that the marriage is really good because they are the second wife. They are not married to the same man that the first wife was married to.”
…..
Well, I was implying it to be this way for men, too, because of Sam Houston’s transformation – he was like a totally renewed man with his much younger, and very much in love with him, 3rd wife. I need to find the quote from someone in their family, but they refer to that marriage as “releasing his soul from the warfare he had inside him,” so that he could focus more freely on the political warfare he engaged in during that marriage.
It seemed like the first wives of these men I’ve known along with their second, really did have a big role in how their marriages went. Granted the info is coming from the 2nd wives, so maybe it’s a bit skewed, but they’re getting their info from the husband who remembers how much of a bitch that first wife was to him. Seriously… a lot of them have said that the first wife did not care at all about her husband’s career or wanting to help him or be involved in any way.
I think it depends on the wife and the marriage. Think about Band of Brothers (yes all dudes but it makes the point about humans and the way teams are built…over shared mutual interest and stress). Bonds are created over stress and time that can’t be matched…for example after the Battle of Bastone, the newbies weren’t welcome. But if you have a crappy teammate the opposite happens. So after a bad experience sets the bar low a new better person is probably very welcome. Obviously marriage isn’t quite the battle of baston (hopefully….though I’m sure some marriages are worse). Very similar in some ways though. On a micro scale, human mutually-dependent interactions are similar.
Another thing people don’t usually consider nowadays is….there was a very increased likelihood of death in childbirth. It wasn’t unusual at all for a man to have two or three wives…after the first expired he’d need someone to care for the kid/kiddos.
Larry
I agree. Peace and safe travels my brother
@Liz Yes… we had similar circumstances 😀 Broke… he was an IHOP waiter lol, I worked at a bookstore… we were still college students… the whole bit! I love how we’ve been through all that together though. It’s so romantic knowing how close it made us. ❤
@Liz “But if you have a crappy teammate the opposite happens. So after a bad experience sets the bar low a new better person is probably very welcome. ”
^^ We’ve seen quite a few marriages NOT survive the hard early times. There will already be outside stress on the marriage in those early days, but too much inside stress doesn’t seem good.
We really didn’t have very much inside stress (within the marriage), it was our safety and refuge and stress-reliever LOL with all the sex 😀 .
Something I used to remind myself of back when I had to deal with the outside world more than I do now: “They’re not doing it to YOU, they’re just doing it.”
Most people’s BS is on autopilot. If they seem to be doing it to you it’s just because you happened to pause long enough in the target zone. It may effect you personally, if you let it, but it’s not, actually, personal. Few people, male or female, are in control of their behavior. They CAN be, as in they can choose to work on being in control but, for the most part, they are not.
One of the great issues we are facing is that both men and women tend to accept the ways that males are not in total control of themselves. This is not to say that either sex accepts that not being in control is good … they just accept men’s faults and, in doing so, they also allow men to actually HAVE greater control because in knowing that they don’t have total control they can begin to gain some shadings of control. You know, you can’t start recovery until you admit your weakness.
On the other hand most women I know seem to deny any lack of control, often to the point of suggesting that there is anything to control at all. There is very, very, little self criticism, analysis, or reconsideration. Really, that’s not the way to come to grips with your sh*t.
Human culture, human traditions, have imperfectly worked to control human nature. But men have held accepted their faults and, to a great extent, held on to age old, semi successful, ways of mitigating them. In the last 50 years women, with a lot of male help, have thrown out most of their cultural and traditional controls … the most profound of which is simply the capacity to see if something is conducive to a cautious vision of a healthy future. The feminine/subjective/collectivist is also utopian, and that means it does not plan well for an uncertain future.
We are in the midst of a war between a more traditionally feminine/subjective/collectivist mindset (which includes plenty of males) and the traditionally masculine/objective/individualist mindset. The problem we all see in the conflicts in our society is the idea that each thinks that their side is going to “take over,” win, dominate, or even exterminate, the other. That’s crazy … and simply impossible.
We will only move on once we find a balance to move forward together, complimenting rather than competing, with one another. The critical challenge we are dealing with is that the feminine/subjective/collectivist parts of our culture (possibly even each of our brains) has to own its baggage, admit its baggage, control its baggage.
In the past culture and conditions did this for them. Well, the old culture and conditions have been broken down. Fine. We are not going to be able to go back. Fine. Now it’s time for realizing, owning, admitting, controlling. That process will never be perfect, but you have to start somewhere.
Maybe it’s because my divorce is so recent. But i honestly do not understand why anyone would get married a second or even a third time. There’s just so much that has already been given away from inside, that it wouldn’t be fair to give a second or a third spouse, so much less.
@FML I get that, it was surprising to me to find that Sam Houston was able to love so much and so freely with his sweet last wife. It really would seem like that part of him would be gone after so much he went through. And then to have the energy to have 8 children and be a good father to them, and a very loving husband to her even when she almost died after their 8th.
Granted I think when someone falls in love, they’re not really looking for it. He sounds like the type that would have vehemently sworn off marriage, and then some years later, there she was at a party her mother was throwing, and the “mutual attraction was instantaneous.” Just very sweet.
‘^^ We’ve seen quite a few marriages NOT survive the hard early times. There will already be outside stress on the marriage in those early days, but too much inside stress doesn’t seem good.’
I mentioned this on the man blogs but I’ll share it here to for the ladies….
I was talking with an older guy I know at the gym and I found out he has been divorced twice. He probably gave me the most simple advice when it came to women:
‘They are either for you or against you.’
Isn’t that what we(men) have all been trying to say in our own way?
interesting on porn stars vs hookers.
i remember my therapist telling me, all those years ago now, that when he started out as a therapist he worked at a place where he monitored and ran? group therapy. they found out quickly they could not put obese people with eating disorders in the same groups as drug addicts and alcoholics … because drug addicts and alcoholics did NOT have THAT kind of problem!
perspective … it’s a powerful thing … distorted sometimes, but powerful 🙂
that’s tragic, Liz, that we live in such an environment … that the guilty get to convict the innocent and ruin their lives on such a wide scale – AND be culturally supported. truth no longer matters.
at 18 imagining oneself at 50 is kind of like imagining being a giraffe.
it starts to work in reverse, too, when you get over 50 😉
Maybe it’s because my divorce is so recent. But i honestly do not understand why anyone would get married a second or even a third time. There’s just so much that has already been given away from inside, that it wouldn’t be fair to give a second or a third spouse, so much less.
this.
‘There’s just so much that has already been given away from the inside’ … yes. and that’s what’s hard to explain to a young person … that what you give away, you cannot take back. you cannot recreate. it’s gone.
and the older we get, the more we understand this, the more we know … there are just some things that are no longer worth trying again.
i do think age of when these things happen, and history – meaning whether the experience was good or bad – influence tremendously. but when so much has been taken out of you … you just know … there isn’t much left to give.
that’s why i loved getting married young. we survived thru those lean years, struggling together, figuring it out. i loved having that history with him. i so wish he hadn’t gone off the rails, but he did 😦 … and i still think marrying young is priceless. i think the advice to wait till you’ve got your degree is bad – it takes away the opportunity to grow and grow up together in ways that can never be duplicated again, imo.
Bonds are created over stress and time that can’t be matched
truth.
which makes one wonder why we, as parents, always try to prevent our kids from having to go thru hard times? if we want the best for them … then allowing them to experience the difficulties of life while guiding them thru at young ages IS best.
Scars heal
Glory fades
And all we’re left with all the memories made
Oh yeah, pain hurts
But only for a minute
Life is short so go on and live it
‘Cause the chicks dig it!
Chris Cagle
And all the angels said all thats missing is a pretty thang.
Let There Be cowgirls.
“that’s why i loved getting married young. we survived thru those lean years, struggling together, figuring it out.”
Truth that. Those were the best years we had ;-D
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/09/02/tardcons/
A great quote from Kevin Williamson: “It was not the invention of the birth-control pill, or the adoption of no-fault divorce, that hollowed out marriage: It was that we became the sort of people who desired those things. We became — Western civilization became — the kids who flunked the test in the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment, unable to resist immediate gratification and, having stripped ourselves of the cultural basis for understanding the distinction, unable to tell the difference between pleasure and happiness.”
@Alan…
That is a great quote. We need to be a people who doesn’t desire birth control and divorce in order for change to happen. People who understand the value of sacrifice.
Its not the value of sacrifice. Anyone will sacrifice in the right circumstances.
Its as Alan says, the difference between happiness and contentment.
The house is secure, my belly is full, the fire is stoked, the dog lies by the hearth, my beloved slumbers next to me.
Gods, I want to take a minute, not to ask you for anything.
Simply to say thank you for all that I have.
It is Enough.
Ame “which makes one wonder why we, as parents, always try to prevent our kids from having to go thru hard times? if we want the best for them … then allowing them to experience the difficulties of life while guiding them thru at young ages IS best.”
That’s true to an extent. But it’s kind of part of loving someone to not want them to suffer isn’t it? Every mistake I’ve made in life was a learning step…but I’d rather not make mistakes. 😆 Every bad boss Mike had was a blessing because it showed him what NOT to do…but at the time it sure didn’t feel that way! I believe everything is a part of a Plan but that doesn’t mean I always like the plan, or understand it. Sometimes years later I look back and think, “so THAT’S why this happened”. Like a puzzle that makes its way around (if I hadn’t had an accident in my youth that kept me from walking for almost two years, for example, I never would have met Mike, and I would’ve probably been a different person if we had).
at any rate (per your point) I do like Paul Harvey’s “take” on this.
🙂
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better.
I’d really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.
…and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.
LOL, that is not a real hardship. My wife and myself plus our ‘dopted gobblers loved those. I liked a plain sandwich on mayo, the other three preferred open sandwiches with gravy and ketchup. It could be, that like stews and soups, meatloaf was better as leftovers because the flavours had a chance to meld, but it just might be her homemade bread. Which ever, those were good lunches ;-D
i love Paul Harvey – and that’s … beautiful, really.
Sometimes years later I look back and think, “so THAT’S why this happened”. Like a puzzle that makes its way around
yes 🙂 … sometimes it seems to take me a really looong time to figure out those puzzle pieces 😉
my Oldest and i have pondered these things a lot in light of my Aspie-Girl. she often tells me she’d have grown up to be a total snobbish bitch if it hadn’t been for her sister … slapping her with reality, grounding her. i think i would have given her everything her heart desired and had a really hard time telling her, no … because i could … if it hadn’t been for her sister … changing the dynamics of, well, everything, from the moment she was conceived (really hard from pregnancy on). but would i have chosen that for any of us? no. i’m selfish. i want it good all the time.
Ame “which makes one wonder why we, as parents, always try to prevent our kids from having to go thru hard times? if we want the best for them … then allowing them to experience the difficulties of life while guiding them thru at young ages IS best.”
so, i was speaking to myself here more than anything. i want to shelter my girls from all the bad things in life, but, obviously, bad things broke through my shields and got to them anyway.
and, in many ways, they’re better for it, stronger … even though deep in my Mama’s heart i wish, so desperately wish, it could have been different. they’ve been thru some really harsh things that i don’t think any child should have to suffer.
but … i have to leave it with God. in His hands. b/c when i try to grapple with it myself, it can drive me insane 🙂 … and that’s not good for any of us 🙂
what i really want to do, as a Mom … and absolutely would if i could … is take away all my Youngest’s diagnoses so life isn’t so hard for her … so i don’t have to teach her to overcome it all … so i never again have to say, “I know it’s harder on you than most, but that’s why God made you smart, so you could figure it out … so take control of your brain so it doesn’t control you.” i want to go back in their lives, even now, and take away all the pain, all the harshness, all the things their dad did to them that caused severe physical, neurological, and emotional trauma.
but … if i do that … i take away all the ways they’ve learned to forgive … to love anyway … to have compassion … to care … to see life through more realistic lenses … to both accept and overcome.
it’s a war in my soul – one i always lose. because i cannot go back and take away their hard. i can only teach them to accept, forgive, adapt, and move on. i can only teach them that, no matter what, God is.
Well said, Ame. God bless you and yours. ❤
Heh, bg, meatloaf was my favorite of the "old school foods" by far. Kids these days should try the "casserole surprise" meals I had to choke down.
And get off my lawn, whippersnappers!!
😆
LOL, c’mon now inflicting tuna or salmon surprise on innocent kids is just mean ;-D
thank you, Liz.
ditto 🙂
Again what I see is the destruction of the mass middle. I see very masculine men/ femmine women but the whole world seems to be top 20% or bottom 20% with most folks dropping down to the bottom
Peace and safe travels to all.
I will leave you with what used to be a called a love story, back when people believed in such things, by canadian Ian Thomas.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2018/09/04/how-many-comprehend/
Hmmm, do you honestly believe that there is no such thing as love?
Love is for women and childern
love – as an emotion, is fickle.
love – as a commitment, in general women have proven over time that it’s a commitment until they don’t feel it anymore. “But, I don’t lo-ove him, anymore!
so it has to be something deeper.
it’s a wonder that men believe a woman will stick around for life simply because she tells him she loves him. there are no cultural or social restraints on her behavior anymore, allowing her to change directions on a whim and leave a string of destruction in her wake.
Nah, existence then would be empty and joyless.
it’s when you’ve lived your live wholly committed for decades to the vows you made, the love you gave … to believing the other person is equally committed, to believing them when they said, “till death do us part,” … to believing them when they said, “I will always take care of you, no matter what,” …
and finding out it was a lie … it was all a lie … that when you were telling young women to value marriage because there’s nothing like living in a committed relationship where you KNOW he loves you and will always be there for you and you KNOW his word means something and is worth staking your whole life on …
only to find out it was all a lie … that he turned it all back on you and blamed you for every bad thing that ever happened in his life … that it was all your fault that he didn’t keep his pants zipped with all those others … that you deserve to be treated like scum because you made him treat you like scum …
that’s when you find out life can be empty and joyless …
except … it’s then that you’re raising his babies that you carried in your womb … and it’s then that you’re tending to their bleeding and wounded souls because daddy left them and doesn’t want them anymore … and you have to tuck away your own empty and joyless and bleeding heart because you know that these babies need you more.
the miracle is that i didn’t believe he was all men … that i believed there are truly good men out there whose word means something … who value a woman who delights in them and cares for the children and home.
the miracle is that i found a man who loves me anyway … and his love is not mushy or emotionally based … it’s a Man’s commitment to take care of his woman. period.
just last night i was thanking him for working so hard to take care of us, and he looked up and said to me, as he often has, “It’s my job. It’s the commitment I made to take care of you and your girls.” … because it’s who he is; it’s what he does. he doesn’t just say it’s who he is and what he does, he actually does it. while my emotions and hormones are bouncing all over the place like a ball in the midst of a ferocious raquetball game, he is standing firm … because he made a commitment to do so.
he stands firm even when he knows that my fear that he’ll be like my dad and my ex is always hiding somewhere.
when you add in all the legal ramifications in the culture that being a man of honor can lead to … with women accusing and blaming men for all sorts of things and distorting them to their own advantage and getting away with it … it’s a miracle any man is willing to make a love-commitment to a woman anymore.
however … it is so refreshing to my soul to know there are those like you and your Beloved wife. your story IS a joy 🙂
@ horseman:
Would you marry him. Knowing he wanted a hot chick and he sees you as not hot at all.
Another good analogy is this:
“I used to be nice to my girlfriends and spend money on girls. I used to have lots of fun, going out, buying gifts for girls, taking them for nights out, weekends away, and for meals and drinks. We used to go dancing and spend money on booze and food.
“But I’ve matured and grown. That was just silliness on my part. That was then, this is now. I’m not that person anymore. I need to get serious about my life and settle down.
“So, I don’t do that anymore. I don’t spend lavishly anymore. I need to conserve my money and save my time and money for the serious business of family and saving for retirement. You don’t need all that fun spending anyway. Besides, all that was just dumb. I looooovvvvveeee you. You’re getting the very BEST of me – the frugal, thrifty, responsible me! I saved the BEST for YOU! YOU get me for the REST of your LIFE!!! And you get the grownup responsible serious me, not the dumb, stupid, flighty, irresponsible me! Aren’t you LUCKY!!!”
@Ame
A good man protects and provides, we are designed that way, hard wired over hundreds of thousands of years. Yes, feminism has been rotting both sexes for sixty years, but the rough instincts are still there. And all it takes is a feminine women to trigger it. My wife’s appearance could usually take my breath away for decades, she laughed and said yeah, okay, but I couldn’t trust my legs when we first met. I guess that is what girls think is somehow equal, Math is not really their strong point ;-D
that is so beautiful, BG 🙂 … your stories make me smile 🙂
i’m continuously amazed that my Husband finds me very attractive. at 53 i’m waaay past the wall, but he adores me. certainly not the kind of math i know 😉
That statement is utterly lacking in masculine frame, maturity and creativity
The opening lines of that paragraph basically says a man has no value outside of his utility toward women, childern and society
Ie devalues and dehumanize men.
Which is pretty much the blue pill world view in a nutshell
Then he married this German….
Every dude I know who’s done that as regretted it
“Every dude I know who’s done that as regretted it”
If they’re all as bad as this one, they should come with a warning label.
One aborted their child while he was down range becuase she was sure he was going to die and she didn’t want to be a single mom…… or more likely she was knocked up by some other dude while we were out maybe the world safe for apple pie and dumb ass democracy
Holy crap. 😦
This one didn’t kill her kid (yet, knock on wood) but she didn’t like being a military spouse, so he career suicided by refusing an assignment he wanted. He had a couple of years left on his service commitment and since he refused a good assignment they stuck him with something he hated. The home environment still went downhill, and she was so toxic he eventually went on anti-depressants which made him DNIF status and he lost his currency so when he left the service he couldn’t even apply for a flying job.
Guess if my boys bring back a German girl, I’ll have to kill her.
hahahah! I kid. Maybe.
Back when we were pregnant with our oldest, the one German woman I knew gave me “advice” when I let her know I was nervous about having our first child. She said VERY casually that if anything was wrong at all with it, you just abort it. It was like a no-brainer to her, and just very callous. 😦
I think the morality in Europe overall has gone downhill. It will take harsh times and mass migration of the Muslims to get people thinking that Christian morals are a good idea again.