Not long after I stumbled upon the manosphere and the Red Pill, a (rather dour tbh) regular of the blog I frequented at the time said something that really stuck with me.
“We are all just wandering through the smoking wreckage.”
Yep.We may not have detonated the bomb, or had any say in the plan way back when, but here we are today, now almost 50 years later, wandering through the smoking wreckage.
The idyllic past is gone, if it ever existed, anyway. The present is a s#itshow, pardon my language. And so? Now that we find ourselves here, now, like it or not, what next?
Well there are really three choices. Denial. Nihilism. Or facing and making some personal best of the tactical reality on the ground. Ok, choice four is some version of self-destruction, but I would not suggest it. So let’s just cross that option off the list.
Maybe you had a perfect childhood. Maybe not. Maybe you have the lucky golden path. If you are reading this my guess is you (like 98% of us) did not. And even if you had both, it still might not be working out. Welcome to here, now. And so?
Chances are you can’t change it much, really, on a scale larger than yourself. Maybe you can but probably not really. Or not because that was your main goal.
The opportunities are in the margins, as they say. So rather than trying to fix anyone else much less the world, maybe just start by making something out of the smoking wreckage for you and yours.
What that will look like is highly individual, but it probably involves some version of what worked for centuries before the “modern way” and your own personal situation.
For some it may be going your own way. For others it may mean some form of long term commitment on whatever terms (legally committed, or committed without legal terms, or something inbetween.) For others, it may be something that others don’t understand but that works for those involved. Obviously there are more possible scenarios than I can ever name here. You know your own situation, limits, negotiables and and non-negotiables better than me.
In short: accept the past path is gone, feel free to reject the current path that’s got a 50/50 chance at best, and sift through and build the best version of tomorrow for your situation as you can, from among the smoking wreckage and options realistically available, based upon your personal pros and cons.
Speaking of, if your personal situation is more con than pro, start there. Nobody can fix you or save you. Take responsibility for your own stuff. Figure out what hasn’t worked and why and what parts of that are yours and yours to change. Understand. Make those changes. Be what you yourself would expect from others. Don’t expect it all but bring little to none to the table.
Its true that despite all that, things may not work out as you hoped or planned. But doing more than 80% of others are surely can’t hurt your odds of crafting a life versus blindly and naively hoping for the best.
There’s not much among the smoking wreckage to work with, true. But at least if you know what it is you are trying to achieve and then are actually, actively, and ongoingly taking steps to get there it has got to lead to better odds than dumb luck or random chance. Or in the very least will help you avoid what you absolutely don’t want.
It’s far from ideal, it’s true. But it is what it is. Accepting that and then making the best of it as you can based on the options available and within your control is really the only viable path I can see. Rebuilding from rubble isn’t ideal or easy. But if it’s rubble you’ve got, and sticking with that isn’t what you want, what other options do you have? Start sifting and build what you can, or forget building and accept your choice without blame or bitterness.
What do you think? Please share in the comments!
What got us here is entirely female led and female driven. I don’t think that asking men to make lemonade out of these lemons is going to help much. We can only begin to improve when women come to see what they have wrought. We’re not there yet. Women still see advantage in things as they are.
Happiness= Reality- Expectations
@ Fuzzie hows that working for you? For anyone? It’s not your fault true. But is it my fault? Were any of us there when these choices were made? Or were we born into this, male and female both? Is it really working any better for women than it’s working for men? Maybe on the surface it may seem so, but studies show women today are less happy than ever before. Maybe “women” choose that (but did they? Conciously? Do women have that much power? Does anyone?) Are all women to blame for the choices some women made? Long ago? Before any of us were born? Are women who do what society has told them works, even if it doesn’t, any more to blame than men who do the same?
I am not asking men to make lemons out of lemonade here, although I can see how it could seem so. This blog is directed to a female audience, not advice I am giving to men, not that it may not apply to both at times by random chance. And I doubt there will come a day when all women collectively agree that yep, they were wrong, are to blame, and will all change, will ever come to pass. And even if it does will you be there? Will I? Will that change what we have personally experienced any or make it right?
I would argue no. It won’t or wouldn’t. But you can make the best of things for you, even if that means avoiding relationships with women entirely. Even if for me it means trying to have a relationship despite the rest of the world not being right or perfect or even everything in our relationship not being right, perfect, or ideal. If being not in a legal or non legal or otherwise relationship is what works best of the options available to you for you, and is what you have chosen, is that not making the best of the smoking wreckage what’s best for you?
To make a probably poor analogy of things, would it be fair to say to someone who is Japanese born and living in Hiroshima Japan who has health issues because of a bomb that went off there long before they were born, it’s their fault because “the Japanese started it” really true? Would it be true if they said no it was your fault because, “you are American” and Americans dropped the bomb, any more true? Would it even matter or help them to focus on whose fault it was? Would it be more productive to learn what they could about being born and raised by just random chance in a place a nuclear bomb went off years ago, what the effects may be, what they could or could not change about it, and then take whatever steps they could to make the best of the situation as it stands? Or if nothing could be done, to accept that it was what it was and whoever’s fault it was died long ago, and so blaming anyone really didn’t change anything? Or should they blame themselves or give themselves a total pass because they are Japanese? (Something again they did not choose, have any control over, and can’t change? Nor would it change the facts otherwise if they could?) Even if they decided it was their fault or not, would it undo what had been done long ago? Would that really change anything? Make the radiation magically disappear? Change their problem at hand in any productive or constructive way?
And please don’t take this as a personal attack bear. I am just speaking in general, noodling with it out loud. Whose fault is it? Does it matter? Will focusing on that change anything? Or in the end aren’t we all still here now wandering through the smoking wreckage, like it or not? With the only real option, be we male or female, to accept that we are here now, there is no going back, all we have are the days we personally have left, and to do what we could to make the best of it whatever that means to each of us individually even if nothing else changes at all? Even if the world as a whole, or women as a whole, or men as a whole, don’t change before our personal days on earth are done? Is waiting for the whole rest of the planet to change (something we have zero control over and is highly unlikely) the most logical approach? Does that improve your personal experience or my personal experience any? Is it maybe a complete waste of time?
Anyway, Happy New Year Bear 🐻. May it be a great year for us both, and for all reading along. May we all find something within the smoking wreckage that works for us.
Ash Pariseau said:
Regardless of what someone is going through in life, I can think of no time when holding on to a bitter victim mentality is the way to go. Either suck it up and deal with reality or do something to change your own situation. However, don’t think you are going to change other people.
In the past, when I have tried to fix things, I have found wasteful and useless to attempt to fix that which is functioning. Men aren’t broken. However, there is a ray of hope. This is self correcting. Supporting all this foolishness is expensive and we can’t afford it indefinitely. Reality has to prevail at some time.
And how does that help YOU bear? See what I am saying?
All I can say is…the path God has pointed out is the path we should choose.
That doesn’t mean all your earthly dreams, desires, and rewards come true…but it gives you hope and a mission in life. A lot of the nihilism that is happening is because most people choose feelz and fulfilling feelz as the path but it leads to despair in the heart. If you were to take this feuding between the sexes to the more spiritual level I think this manifestation of despair is what is coming out.
And I’d agree with Ash…playing victim does you no good. Especially if you figured out you were going on the wrong path to begin with and are striving to go the narrow route now.
I would agree with that Earl! The narrow path is a good choice. Tried and true. Still not a rose garden but if followed minus the snares, traps, pitfalls, and folly of other paths.
george liquor american said:
This is probably one of your best if not absolute best poasts, Black Pill Bloom. 😉
The despair brought about from the destruction of two World Wars was thought to be rectified by the boomers by doing things like free love, drugs, and purchasing whatever thrills they desired. But it turns out they doubled down on the despair and destruction because it got into marriage, family, children, and civilization in general.
It can be turned around…but it won’t be turned around on the present course of action.
Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
Junior was born with a silver screw for a belly button. As he grew, he resented not being normal. He was taught to pray, and so he began praying for God to remove the silver screw. Time went by, and the screw remained. He began to resent God. But he had no other option, and so he continued to beseech God to remove the screw.
One day, some time after he had turned 21 years of age, he was alone out in the field. Dark clouds suddenly gathered together. Thunder rolled. A hugh flash of lightning, and the clouds parted. Out of the clouds came an enormous silver screwdriver and slowly descended until it was level with Junior’s silver screw. Carefully the enormous screwdriver mated with the screw, and turned gently until the screw was entirely removed.
Junior was overjoyed. His prayers had been answered. He could not contain himself and began jumping up and down in celebration, thanking God for answering his prayer.
And his ass fell off.
Moral of the story: fixing some things can lead to the breaking of other things. Be careful what you wish for.
Subnote: Junior built quite a life for himself while the screw was in place. He remembered that longingly as he spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair. No matter how hard he prayed, that screwdriver never did return to put the screw back in.
Happy New Year everbody. Build what you can with what you have. None of us can do any more than that. We plant the seed, but God gives the increase. 1 Corinthians 3:6-9
Why thank you GLA, Happy 2019!
I don’t have the energy to pursue an individual solution anymore.
Isn’t that in itself a choice bear? If that’s what you have decided is what makes the most sense for you, that is an individual solution! May you embrace what you have and not wish for what you don’t. Nothing is perfect anyway, it’s all cobbled together rubble in one form or another.
“I don’t have the energy to pursue an individual solution anymore.”
What’s the alternative, Fuzzie?
“Happy New Year everbody. Build what you can with what you have. None of us can do any more than that. We plant the seed, but God gives the increase. 1 Corinthians 3:6-9”
Amen! Happy New Year back at yah! 🙂
In a wasteland the strong and ruthless or hidden and cunning survive.
In combat the only rule is survive. You can survive peacefully if no one attacks you but if attacked you must defeat the attacker so fully they can never attack you again.
When everyone is selfish, doing for yourself, first (and often only) is incentivized.
The greater good, for society, for the children is no longer relevent or rewarded.
To each their own according to their experienced tactical situation.
End of line.
A) whatever I want
B) who cares
Since when did Bloom start channeling Ton?
Agreed. I like black pill Bloom.
She is now safe from Vixens, Dancers, other leeches of the world.
One cannot fix society. Morality is malleable.
One can only do for themselves.
Not my kin, not my problem.
A parting thought.
To the “boo hoo I was tricked, I support mgtow, where are the men, I will change, come back, Rhett where will I go” women
(As each person does solely for themselves)
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
No One Cares!!
SFC Ton said:
All of us born after Adam and eve are walking through some version of smoking wreckage.
I consider it a blessing I am not walking through the smoking wreckage that was Europe after 2 world wars, or the killing fields of Cambodia or the very day life of most of Africa.
Betas in the usa think life is hard because the smp/ mmp sucks? Try being dirt poor in the slums or Rio or New Delhi
Excellent, Bloom. Excellent.
since i was four years old my whole goal in life was to be a wife and mother. i even picked out my Oldest daughter’s name when she was four, and before she was ever in my womb, i had visions of her which turned out to be exactly who she was.
when i was around twenty i decided i needed to forgive my mother before i became a mother so i wouldn’t pass down all that wreckage to my kids. it took me ten years to work through forgiving her for what she’d done the first twenty years of my life, but i did it.
when i was thirty and had just fully forgiven my mother, i went to this women’s retreat with my church. the main speaker was this woman who grew up in the most perfect home with the most beautiful godly mother. a dream life. after she spoke i was driven to speak to her – something i NEVER did. and i was couldn’t stop crying – another something i NEVER EVER EVER did in public and rarely in private. but it was finally my turn, and all i could get out was, “I’ve just forgiven my mother.”
and you know what she said? this woman who grew up in the perfect home with the perfect godly mother and who became a beautiful mother herself?
she said, “We all have to forgive our mothers.”
i was blown.away.
so i taught my daughters from infancy to forgive me, to forgive their Dad, simply … to forgive. bad things happen. even good people do bad things to us. and we need to forgive.
it also taught me that … i wasn’t going to be a perfect mom or a perfect person in any area of my life, and that I would NEED forgiveness. humbling.
btw – forgiveness does NOT equal trust; trust must always be earned (and if you’ve followed my comments, you know neither of my parents have ever even tried to earn my trust 😦 ) … neither does forgiveness excuse bad or wrong behavior. forgiveness is simply processing thru wrongs done and then letting go of the power they hold over you.
the depth of the offense determines the length of time needed to forgive.
Happy New Year, Y’all … you have all made my life so much richer and better 🙂
in 2019 …
may we find Strength to endure …
Peace when life is hard …
the ability to Help someone else …
eyes to See and ears to Hear the Truth …
and lots of reasons to Smile and Laugh 🙂
David Foster said:
Ame…totally off-topic, but I recently chanced upon this company that make Apps for autistic people…might be use use with your daughter:
THANK YOU David Foster! i just sent her the link – she’s really good with apps and stuff, so i’m sure she’ll figure out which work best for her … and that would be awesome to find some that help her. it gets … overwhelming … sometimes … at least for me 🙂
that’s really kind of you to remember her and share this with me … wow, thank you! i really appreciate it 🙂
David – pufferfishapps is all ios based. since we don’t have any apple products (too expensive for us) i’ve been searching for android based autism apps. interesting that there aren’t as many and that there are tons of ios apps.
just the concept, though, that there are apps for autistic people gives me a whole new area to research for support for her. thank you 🙂
“Oh, the first few years will be fine. After you get through the nasty process of divorce, settle your differences with your ex-husband, try to repair the relationship with your kids, and mourn the loss of that which you killed, you’ll have a little money in your purse, your own car, your own apartment, and it will be like college again – just you and your girlfriends, your very own Sex In The City.
You’ll initially delight in the prospect of sampling the exotic adventures implicit in a new man, and you’ll pore through the MEN SEEKING WOMEN section of half-a-dozen dating sites with unabashed glee. There are men out there who know how to make you feel appreciated – you just know it. All you have to do is find them. If Bob the Ex-Husband wasn’t appreciative enough, then certainly the successful 45 year-old executive you can’t BELIEVE has a body like that will be . . .
. . . only he doesn’t answer mail from anyone over 30.
You’ll go to singles’ nights with The Girls, just a bawdy gang of cougars on the prowl. You might even get lucky, and seduce some hot stud with the remains of your feminine charms. But the next morning you’ll find him gone, and you’ll find the contact information he gave you is bogus, and then you’ll discover a few months later that he took naked pictures of you while you were asleep for his internet “MILF Trophy Room”.
You’ll carry on, meeting one balding loser after another, your heart sinking even as your girlfriends encourage you to try a new hairstyle, a new look, new shoes . . . a new bar. A new dating site. But every time you go forth looking for adventure and – yes! – appreciation, you go home a little sadder and a little more frightened.
And then someday, sometime, you’ll wake up in the middle of the night, the terrors of your subconscious breathing down your neck, your whole body covered in sweat as you wrestle with some primal fear from the depths of your brain. You’ll sit bolt upright in the darkness, your eyes wide, your body wracked with chills, panting with imagined exertion and very real fear, your mind reduced to the whimpering incoherence of a terrified child.
And then you’ll instinctively reach across the bed for the warmth and comfort you once had, that you promised you’d keep forever, and the bed will be cold and empty.
You’ll realize that you have no one to talk to about your nightmare.
Then you’ll realize that no one would really care about it, anyway.
Such things are inherently intimate, not for “girls’ night” or even the whispered confessions between “besties”. Only a sister, or a parent, or a husband is capable of soothing fears on that level. Someone has to reassure you that Everything Is Going To Be All Right . . . otherwise you’ll know everything isn’t going to be all right. Then you’ll think of your ex-husband’s second wife, clinging to the comfort and the strength of the arms that you accused of making you “not feel appreciated”, and there will be a bitter pang in your stomach and a fierce, savage psychic wail of despair as you – at last – realize what a tragic mistake you’ve made.”
@ horseman you raise a good point. I was going to add a paragraph about that very topic, but it was late and I was tired. But agreed, I am not advocating an “it’s all about me,” approach here. The individualized approach does not have to equal a, “to hell with anyone else, I am getting my needs and wants regardless of how it affects anyone else.” I think it’s wholly possible to effect an individualized solution that does not harm anyone else in the process. It’s possible to quietly craft a life that works even amidst a world that doesn’t. Hopefully in the process others are influenced positively or inspired themselves to also do so. Thanks for bringing up this important nuance.
Lol! Channeling Ton! Well I have been reading his words of wisdom for years now, I’d have to look back but my guess is since 2012 or 2013. Ton and Uoda and Fuzzie and Liz were all there then. That blog no longer exists or is online, but the conversations had there were mind blowing. They would easily go 300 or more comments deep and there were so many really sharp people who sadly didn’t migrate along when that blog went kaput. So yes over the years some Ton mentality has rubbed off I am sure! “Tactical reality on the ground,” is for example a favorite Ton-ism of mine!
“She is now safe from the Vixens, Dancers, and other leeches…”
I sure hope! Some people just don’t want to
… just don’t want to fix their stuff or stop the drama. Fair enough but I truly am tired of listening to it. Also fair enough! Opting out of that endless loop of futility! Those people just suck you down with them.
It’s moments like that, commenters caring enough to pass on helpful apps and info, that’s what I love about you guys! True community! Good people! ❤️❤️❤️
Farm Boy said:
“We are all just wandering through the smoking wreckage.”
Wasn’t that Elspeth?
@ Farm Boy no, gosh now I can’t think of his name but he commented often, he May have been a oastor or somehow heavily involved with his church? Episcopalian. Older. In a very dead bedroom marriage, very miserable. Oh shoot… it will come to me.
Some people just don’t want to … just don’t want to fix their stuff or stop the drama. Fair enough but I truly am tired of listening to it. Also fair enough! Opting out of that endless loop of futility! Those people just suck you down with them.
learning to walk away from those people. priceless.
it’s on me to share the Truth … but it’s not on me to make someone else believe it.
– – –
i let my dad know i’m sick. he blew it off. it hurt. then i thought … well, i let him know. i gave him the opportunity to be a part of my life again, but he chose, again, to decline. so, i walk away, again. it hurts, but i can’t make him want to be a part of my life … i can’t make him care about me … i can’t make him be a dad.
unless you’re a sweet doggie with real puppy dog eyees, begging is a waste of time.
Wasn’t that Elspeth?
“Loving in the Ruins” was the title of her Blog.
b g said:
You are talking about rebuilding, but the first rule of that is scraping off all the rubble to a solid foundation. That’s the late 40-50’s, today’s women are not yet going to accept that they cannot get to keep what they have lied, cheated, and stolen over the last 60+ years. Fuzzie is correct, men may forgive, but they are not going to forget.
SFC Ton said:
Most people do shit to improve their lot in life
Smp related for men….
Did you loose 25 pounds of fat? Or put on 25 pounds of muscle via barbell and steroids?
Did you kayak a river from its headwaters to the ocean?
Hike the Appalachian trail in a summer?
Learn to speak Spanish or cook Eye–talion?
Approach 10000 girls in person?
Did you learn photography, start a side hustle and add 20k to your yearly income?
Did you learn to dance?
Learn to fight, fix cars and ride a motorcycle?
Learn to draw or how to play a quitiar?
Learn game, how to be funny and pass shit tests?
Learn to fly or jump?
Build a house, a bike or an off road rig?
Tldr I have not yet seen the man who was unhappy with their life/ still an incel after he got serious about the bitch to bull path for 3-4 years.
Larry G said:
RPG, thoughtful and well written piece.
“Yep.We may not have detonated the bomb, or had any say in the plan way back when, but here we are today, now almost 50 years later, wandering through the smoking wreckage.
The idyllic past is gone, if it ever existed, anyway. The present is a s#itshow, pardon my language. And so? Now that we find ourselves here, now, like it or not, what next?”
Larry G said:
BG, a slight correction….”men may forgive, but they are not going to forget.”
SOME men may forgive, but none of them will ever forget. There is always a price to pay for betrayal and treason, “ladies”.
Larry G said:
“Well there are really three choices. Denial. Nihilism. Or facing and making some personal best of the tactical reality on the ground. Ok, choice four is some version of self-destruction, but I would not suggest it. So let’s just cross that option off the list.”
Perhaps a society wide self-destruction does indeed need to be included in your list of choices, RPG. That self-destruction is even now occurring at a quickening pace and will soon consume what is left of western society. This is the thought behind the “let it burn to the ground” group.
Sometimes rebuilding on rubble is not an option; one must haul the debris away and start fresh.
The fall of civilization doesn’t guarantee anything better springs up out of the rubble.
A while back a “watch it burn” advocate stated that he was excited for the collapse. He’d watch it all on the beach somewhere, on his boat.
Thought that was pretty optimistic of him thinking he was going to keep his boat.
Larry G said:
“The fall of civilization doesn’t guarantee anything better springs up out of the rubble.”
Liz, I agree…sometimes the society that falls also goes extinct. More often times a fallen culture is totally assimilated and replaced by one different (I’m thinking the ancient Persian empire).
“A while back a “watch it burn” advocate stated that he was excited for the collapse. He’d watch it all on the beach somewhere, on his boat.”
LOL! The collapse of western culture is in slow motion, kinda like the sinking of the Titanic; slow and relentless. That character watching from his boat will croak of old age before seeing much….
Roger Blakely MGTOW said:
In every video that Angry MGTOW posts he says, “Women are going to be saying that feminism got them everything they wanted and that now they want men to join them in fighting against it.”
Women–and I’m not even sure that the women who visit this Web Site aren’t included in this—don’t give a rat’s ass about men. They never have and they never will. All that is happening is that women are having buyers’ remorse about equality. Women achieved equality, and it turned out to be less fun than they thought it would be. Now what they want is all of the equality that they’ve accrued over the past half-century plus all of the protected status that they enjoyed a half-century ago.
How about a little sympathy for the heroic beta male simp (that would be me)? Economic Invincibility posted a video yesterday about an article written by a thirty-year-old woman admitting that—lo and behold—in spite of her years of mouthing her desire for a nice guy, the reality is that only dark-triade assholes can blow her skirt up. Female nature is incompatible with civilization.
These days we have the rise of the TradCons. But this term is incorrect. These women are not traditional conservatives. They are neo-traditional conservatives. Like I said, they want is all of the equality that they’ve accrued in the past half-century and all of the protected status that they enjoyed a half-century ago. Black America has one prominent neo-traditional conservative, Nichole Michelle, who gets interviewed regularly in the black manosphere. Mumia Obsidian Ali promised me that he would ask her his pressing question, which is this: What are the terms of the new social contract between men and women, and what are the terms of women’s surrender?
When I talked about this with Paul Elam the other day, he predicted that neo-traditional conservatives will end up being lonely neo-traditional-conservative cat ladies just like the lonely feminist cat ladies.
I’ve already offered my plan here (see my comment in RPG’s previous post) for living the rest of my life amongst the rubble.
Fifth option to Blooms five (or maybe just a variant)
(Re)Build an enclave, a life worth living, out of the rubble.
Make it safe and secure and prosperous and peaceful. Fill it with you and yours, kin and those who are worthy, those who would work for it, defend it as if it were their own. Only those are under your protection.
Start no troubles but finish them when they are thrust upon you.
Go beyond defending your enclave. If attacked repel the hordes and then go to their enclave and destroy it utterly as a sign to others. Start nothing with mine.
Ration your sympathies.
When the rightious or jealous or downtrodden come asking for admittence
Send them away as they will not add to your peoples.
When the pitiful or lazy ask for alms
Deny them for they will take from your peoples mouths
Take no councel beyond your own kin
For they have no heart for your people’s interests.
But would guide you to their own ends.
Lastly, look not beyond your own borders.
It is burden enough to see to your own.
Their lands are not yours to judge,
Their people not yours to lead
Their fortunes and troubles not yours to worry.
“He has retreated to his own little land and he will not go beyond its borders, not while this age lasts” (Gandalf on Tom Bombadil)
SFC Ton said:
Thought that was pretty optimistic of him thinking he was going to keep his boat.
Reckon he assumes The Ton can’t swim. Or doesn’t have a boat
“I wish you all a fond farwell. I must be going now.”
Yes, this is the thing about the burn it all down folk. I don’t think they really have any clue what that means or would truly look like. It would likely look like life in Venezuela. They are probably wishing for the halfway broken s#it before this totally broken s#it in Venezuela now. Life after it all burns down may be much, much worse than any of us have ever known, few take this possibility into account when they think radical change is the answer, people ridiculously idealize collapse. Is it an option? Sure. Only when no other workable option can be found perhaps, and I mean NO OTHER OPTION, but I personally would say we are very far from that. Call me an optimist. I don’t ever want to experience what they are right now in Venezuela. There may be winners but my guess is for 90% (optimistically), they are way worse off. For 60%, likely more, they are far far worse off than their worst day before. Like regretting their vote for that option day and night as they starve and watch everyone around them starve. No thanks.
Apathy is not going to save the West. Not by a long shot. Apathy is how we got here. Anarchy isn’t going to save it either. When has anarchy ever been an ideal of Western civilization? No. After a collapse it’s still Western ideals that lead to rebuilding, not the abandonment of them. Where are the Persians today? Iran. We are all just one bad vote away from that. People forget this.
Switching topics, so very true that the idea that this is and has been smoking wreckage ever since Adam and Eve (not just since feminism or the sexual revolution or some other point in recent human history) is a very valid point. And in this life, doing one’s best to be good in a bad world may be the highest one can aim for. Many examples of that path being rewarded or working out on an individual level, in the Book. It can be done. But yes, expecting perfect in a fallen world may be as far from the equation happiness = reality – expectation as one can get.
Back to collapse for just a sec, if all who wish for collapse would instead do like the Don, we’d turn things around in a hurry. He’s an example of what one fed up person (although not perfect, true) can do to turn things around for the better. But he can’t do it alone. Or forever. After him, then? Imagine what even ten more like him could do. A hundred. A thousand. Ten thousand. Ten hundred thousand. Ten million. What if he had said instead, “let it burn?” Where would we be? Probably in three more wars if not WWIII. I am glad he stepped up, demanded the deal advertised by the Founding Fathers. If we all did, imagine. I like that vision a lot better than one of collapse. I thank God daily for that man and pray for his protection.
Or to reduce it to one sentence: How would reducing the smoking wreckage to finer and smaller bits of smoking wreckage help?
You wanted to know how it is all working out for me. The answer is not well. In one sense, that may be a good thing. Honest people can’t make bargains with corruption. That is the price for living in a gynocentric society.
@ Fuzzie, I am not sure we are getting each other, or maybe we are talking about different things?
Maybe this will help me understand. Is there a society/country today that’s an example of a not gynocentric society? (Penocentric? I am not sure that’s the right term but…) A society where things are working? That may help me understand what you mean better…
To your question, I don’t know but I have seen some glimmers of hope. In Italy, a British tourist made false rape accusations against a local. By the time the police there realized this, she had flown back home. I think they have asked for extradition. Dubai has had problems along this line too as they have tried to set themselves up as a stopover destination. Ukraine shut down Femen and Russia is not coddling feminists. China called out “leftover women” for their hypergamy. In a nation where there are 115 men for every 100 women, there is no excuse for women to not find partners.
In short, there is more hope in non-English speaking countries than there is here. Also, I have seen the situation degrade in America at first hand over the last several decades.
To put it bluntly, men are well past pissed. The ones who would see it all burn down are the ones without incentive or hope.
I would definitely not put any confidence in the Italian justice system…it’s much worse than ours. Convictions in absentia, double jeopardy, et al.
Fuzzie, you might want to travel some. Living in foreign countries offers a very good perspective on the world. Some things are better in some places, but overall we have it pretty damn good over here in general.
I used to think so, but I have been seeing too much on YouTube. Cops are deliberately ignoring the law, trampling on the Constitution and doing violence to ordinary law abiding people, including murder, and there seems to be no consequences.
This is the latest, A wheelchair bound vet, paralyzed on his right below his waist was taken down for trying to buy a bottle of champagne for New Year’s. He was in the company of his family and some stinker at Walmart wanted to card them all, including his children. The police were called and they had to escalate it. Five of them piled on him. He is now paralyzed on both sides below the waist. Not that race should matter, but he is white.
There is a twenty minute version available. If you key in Walmart Muskogee police wheelchair vet it should come right up.
By the way, the nurse falsely arrested in Utah a year ago wasn’t an anomaly. Cops have also been doing that to firemen, ambulance drivers, and EMTs.
Fuzzie….I agree this is bad.
But are you under the impression this sort of thing doesn’t happen in Italy, Dubai, China, the Ukraine, Russia?
Mike was at a bar in one of the countries in Eastern Europe and the cops came in waving those red laser sites over the crowd as everyone ducked under the tables. They went into the men’s bathroom, forced the occupants to face the wall with their hands over their heads and beat everyone with the exception of one person with clubs until they were essentially unconscious…then dragged them out. The unbeaten person was a friend of ours..he too was up against the wall with his hands over his head chanting, “I’m and American, I’m an American!” so they left him alone.
This would not be happening her if police believed in the rule of law. At this point, they hold it in contempt and have less regard for the Constitution. This is not supposed to be happening in America. What exacerbates this is they are hardly ever held to account and very rarely prosecuted.
Maybe we need to borrow those Eastern European policemen and have them raid a few cop bars?
There is more.
To bring this full circle back to feminism, here is a video of a clergyman confronting police trying to chase him off from demonstrating in front of an abortion clinic. He came prepared with printouts of all the pertinent statutes and ordinances. The police would not read them and still attempted to roust them. It gets very interesting when the “supervisor” shows up halfway through. She is very definitely a feminist and feminism is corrupting the whole criminal justice system.
While his threats of lawsuits may sound a little weak, I understand that “qualified immunity” goes out the window when police break the law. They can sued into personal bankruptcy.
Liz is on a roll in 2019 🙂
Fuzzie – what you focus on becomes who you are. yes, lots of bad things happen. but lots of good things, too. might want to consider *not* watching these videos anymore and only allowing good and positive things into your life.
my first Husband grew up in a foreign country and traveled outside the US quite a bit, and he often said that we have it significantly better here. people pick out the little bits of good from other countries and only focus on that rather than the whole picture … kind of like you’re doing when you only watch negative videos.
i’m not saying the bad stuff doesn’t exist … since the Apple, bad stuff is a given. but what we allow into our minds is powerful and can alter our whole beings.
so … the real question is … do you want to continue life for yourself as it is, or do you want something different? if you want to continue, that’s your choice. if you want something different, though, change what you feed your mind, body, and soul. change it drastically. do it as an experiment if you want. otherwise … while many of us enjoy whatever life we have and the life that’s given to us, you will continue to be miserable with yours.
btw, Fuzzie – if you want to change the way you think, you already have a whole support group out here willing to help. it’s hard, really really really hard. it’s not a straight path but one with lots of bumps and twists. but you CAN do it if you want to.
I used to think so, but I have been seeing too much on YouTube.
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was … pleasing to the eye …
What did it profit Eve to spend time gazing on the forbidden fruit? Particularly when there was so much else she could gaze on that was not forbidden?
It’s a sh*tty world. It’s also a beautiful world. What does it profit a man to gaze on all the sh*t when he could be gazing on the not-sh*tty stuff.
One need not be religious to understand the logic of this advice from the Bible: whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:8)
How can personal relationships, families, governments, nations, ever be perfect when they are populated with inherently imperfect people? They cannot ever be anything other than imperfect. And yet, it is possible to build a useful life in the midst of all the imperfection. But staring at the forbidden fruit, staring at all the imperfections we can find, is not going to lead us into that useful life Would any of us be here if Adam had spent the rest of his days staring through the gates back into the Garden from which he was expelled? Consider what she did to him – she who was created to dispell the aloneness from which he suffered. And then consider that, in spite of that, Adam went and built a useful life with her on ground that had been cursed just to make his life miserable.
I understand that everthing I just wrote will not do one who is clinically depressed one bit of good. But for one where it is just a habit and not biology, stop staring at the forbidden fruit. Stop staring at the bad stuff. You just might discover new life springing up inside of you after a while if you instead spend time gazing on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you
Formatting error. Only the first two lines were supposed to be italicized.
Liz … that is SO scary. very glad your friend got out of there. sometimes they don’t care if you’re an American or not.
excellent, Richard. Excellent.
“in 2019 …
may we find Strength to endure …
Peace when life is hard …
the ability to Help someone else …
eyes to See and ears to Hear the Truth …
and lots of reasons to Smile and Laugh 🙂”
❤ ❤ ❤
And be nice to awful people… even if they’re related LOL
Omg… just scrolling along… reading the comments… and I come to
Think of the feminists’ expressions when they hear that!
Aw Fuzzie! ❤
apparently there are women up somewhere in the arctic circle who are very into bears….
Just an FYI….
AAAAAAWWWWWWW! right back at you!
I have seen that bear before. He is Russian and his specialty is working with female humans.
I have to admire the models. They don’t have thick fur coats.
Sorry, wrong link. This should be the one,
Checking in once again and glad I did because this is one of the best posts ever on this blog and it won’t get the traction it deserves. Why ? Because its the truth. And I am living proof.
Nobody who knows me or my past would ever have thought that I’d get married again. But I did. Why ? Read Bloom’s post again. Its a smoking wreckage all right. And so I will quote: “It’s far from ideal, it’s true. But it is what it is. Accepting that and then making the best of it as you can based on the options available and within your control is really the only viable path I can see.”
And there you have it. There is very little you can change, the forces are beyond your control. But you can make choices in you live and how you function. Choose what you want, take the gamble, but realize that it probably won’t work out. But its either do that or forever remain a victim.
I made my choice. I put my life up for grabs. I trusted. I took a huge leap of faith. I hope it works out but I’ll likely not know if it doesn’t until its too late. That’s the situation. You can deal with it. Or deal with not dealing with it. Its YOUR LIFE. So do as you please.
In case anyone cares … its been 6 weeks. Lots and lots of changes in my life. And in hers. Still going strong. Thinking I made a good choice. But who really ever knows.
And since people seem to be getting off on posting pics and vids of shit to prove their point … how about this one. Dude wrote a song in the mid 1960’s at the age of 24. Think any current generation could write such a thing ? NOT A CHANCE IN HELL.
But the best words of the song. “Doesn’t mean that much to me, to mean that much to you”. Words to live by. Wanna know how much I care about what the readers of this blog think of me ? I don’t. I don’t give a shit. Burned it down here and didn’t return to read the grief. Really. Seriously.
Instead of giving me grief here is a challenge to the readers of this blog. Read Bloom’s post again. Take a chance. Go out and live a life. Take the risk, take the chance. Don’t live life where its safe. Buckle up. Saddle the horse. Then get the hell on and take the ride … and, yeah, you’ll likely get thrown off. AND THEN GET THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK ON.
That’s how life is meant to be lived. And Neil Young is/was/will always be … awesome.
@ mega congrats! It’s not so much about making a good choice (although choosing well rather than foolishly is good!) it’s really about choosing to honor that choice day after day. Over and over. And like Liz said once, the secret to a happy marriage is a very short memory! (Paraphrasing…) congrats! May you both choose the make it as good as it gets! ❤️💕❤️
Good to ear that things are working for you. That does make you an exception. For the rest of us, the SMP will have to crash before women see that they have made a complete mess of things.
My basic approach – which I don’t expect to work for everyone – is:
(1) I have never staked my happiness or identity on having a husband or boyfriend. I view relationships as gravy on top of a life well-lived. In my experience, men appreciate the lack of pressure they feel when they realize a woman has her own independent interests, pursuits and sources of satisfaction.
(2) Always remain authentic. I never lie about who I am, what I have experienced, what my flaws are, what I think, or what I feel. The process of exposing one’s warts as a relationship progresses is terrifying, risky, and SO rewarding if you are fortunate enough to find a person who accepts you. This process also means being prepared to respect the man’s prerogative to reject you and to let him go with as much equanimity as you can muster. It also takes a lot of discipline because there are always temptations to tell little lies to make oneself look better. But if you resist those temptations and ‘fess up if you fudged a bit, the rewards will be enormous.
(3) Listen to your man deeply and without judgment. Create a safe harbor for him to expose himself to you. I know the good, the bad, and the ugly about my man, and I love all of it. Of course, learning your man comes with risk that something he reveals to you will be a dealbreaker. And the woman, of course, has the prerogative to reject a man whose flaws or history are unacceptable to her in some way, just as the man has the moral right to reject her. But mutual authenticity combined with emotional safety in each other’s presence can cement a couple together in a happy way like nothing else I can think of. There is pure joy and security in being seen, loved, and accepted as you really are – and pure joy in giving another that gift of acceptance.
(4) This next tip is paradoxical and one that I fully understand will not be desirable or feasible for many, especially with young children. But I always make sure my man knows that I will let him go if ever the relationship stops working for him. Letting him go any time he wants would be my act of love for him. And I mean it and I am prepared for it. Men, perhaps more than women, resist being boxed in. Oddly enough, my man’s freedom to leave has probably helped keep him by my side. We always joke that when we are old, my man will say, “You always told me I could leave the porch, but I never ended up leaving the porch!” (as I smile craftily to myself).
(5) Accept that your man will be attracted to other women. You may daydream about being the only woman your man thinks about sexually but you would be delusional if you believed it. I actually love my man for his lust and I am CURIOUS about it. It’s part of him and I love learning it, just as I love learning his strengths, his flaws, his dreams, and his experiences. (Of course, this goes both ways and I don’t pretend to him that I am never attracted to other men.)
I am a feminist and thus out of step with the views of most here. I am not trying to proselytize and much of my approach is idiosyncratic to me (though not inconsistent with feminism). I’ve had my relationship ups-and-downs like everyone else, but I’ve been in love for several years with a man who gives me great joy and this is what works for me and him. Thank you for the interesting post and blog! Even though I am inclined to disagree when I hear “red pill,” I like the open-minded approach in the writing here.