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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Monthly Archives: February 2019

Put Yourself in His Shoes

27 Wednesday Feb 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 99 Comments

Tags

biological clock, commitment, commitment phobia, dating, dating advice, dating after divorce, divorce, dream guy, happily ever after, marriage, marriage material, marriage minded, online dating, red pill, relationships, remarriage

So often when I hear women talking of finding a guy they are quick to list all of the many qualities and requirements they want — the must-have list.

Naturally the list of often quite demanding. She only wants the best, after all!

Often if I ask her what she has to offer, I am met with a confused look and radio silence. Big mistake.

A woman who is serious about meeting and marrying a guy who is what every other gal also hopes to find would be foolish not to put herself in his shoes and consider if she is what a guy such as that would be seeking? Does she even know what that is?

And as many guys like that readily admit, the answer is usually, “No.”

Add to that the legal environment is not set up to favor, much less equally protect, him in the case of divorce and child custody, combined with a lifetime of observing this harsh reality in the lives of the men around them, such men today are even more wary of becoming a husband and father.

So he’s facing a dating pool of women who eagerly rattle off checklists of all he must be and do, who at the same time have little to no understanding of what he wants or needs, and meanwhile his odds are the same as flipping a coin that if he marries and has kids that he’ll end up in divorce court vs. that lasting a lifetime. Can you see why he may not be saying, “Sign me up!”

One can dismiss this inconvenient truth all she likes, blame his commitment phobia, or demand he needs to, “Man up!” But guess what? That’s not going to get her any closer to her goal.

A savvy gal instead becomes singleminded in figuring out what a guy like that is looking for and does all she can to develop herself and those qualities. The earlier in life she does this, the better.

Such women are exceedingly rare, some might call them unicorns. But in that rareness they stand out like a precious jewel — the kind of woman every guy is looking for.

See how that’s a two-way street? Yep.

Let those who have ears hear!

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

TLF!!!

20 Wednesday Feb 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 56 Comments

Tags

love, marriage, red pill, remarriage

Ok maybe I am getting jaded, but who else is really buying this?

https://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2019/02/12/modesto-elderly-couple-wedding/

I know they are going for the feel-good story here. And for everyone involved’s sake I hope it’s true.

But her SEVENTH marriage and his FOURTH? But this time, of course, it’s different, it’s the real deal.

Really? True love forever (TLF) or is that too late fools??!!??? (TLF)

I suppose if nothing else, I guess it shows hope springs eternal. Even in my most jaded of thoughts on the topic, I hope I am wrong about them and this. But I would not bet money on it, so I guess not hopeful enough. Although at their ages the odds a divorce will be finalized before…. (wow, I really AM getting jaded!!!)

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Self elimination, lack of education

19 Tuesday Feb 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

divorce, family, inheritance, marriage, red pill

I know a gal, super entitled, who married into a major land-owning family in my area. Like 500+acres owning.

The family she married into has already put their land into trust. Those who continue the line will continue to inherit what has been built.

Still she says she will never have children. Wants to get her tubes tied. Blah, blah, blah me, me, me! As she said all this, for his family’s sake I agreed — get those tubes tied! You go sista!

Because as she and I wrapped up a group business meeting at a local watering hole, she was already cozying up to a guy at the bar who was by every indication a total cad at best.

Her husband’s family strongly objected to the marriage and held it off even for several years. But she (and he) prevailed.

I find it tragic but also illuminating that rather than secure her position via future generations she seems hell bent on not only terminating that for herself but also her husband, who is currently the oldest son of the oldest son.

Hopefully  the cad boys will be there for her. But probably not.

When she bails I have a feeling the oldest son will find a more than willing life mate to secure his future line.

If he can believe in it then, that is.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

 

 

A Red Pill Valentine’s

14 Thursday Feb 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 49 Comments

Tags

dating, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, romance, V-day, Valentine's Day

Ahhh, Valentines Day. A day wrought with high expectations. I heard once more couples fight on Valentines than not. I am not sure it’s true, but if so it wouldn’t surprise me.

Many times Valentine’s is focused on, “What did I get?” Not, “What can I give?”

This Valentine’s take a different approach. Instead of picking apart your relationship, or the day, or having high expectations of the dozen roses and right restaurant and the blah blah blah, focus on the good.

Focus on how YOU can show love, appreciation, and gratitude. And the many things big and small you have to be greatful for.  Forget what’s missing, focus on what’s there. Everybody’s Valentines Day will be better off for it.

And if you are alone this Valentines, also try to focus on what you have not what you don’t. I bet there is someone you could show love to and for today even if it’s not romantic love. Doing so will make their day and yours much better than focusing on what’s missing.

Happy Valentine’s folks! I love you! Each and every one! Thank you for reading this! Thank you for all the wisdom and caring and concern you have shared, given, and shown for me over the years! I appreciate it and YOU!

💞💕❤️💕💞

What do you think about Valentines? Please share in the comments!

Another Marriage Done

13 Wednesday Feb 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 78 Comments

Tags

divorce, Empty nest, Empty nest syndrome, red pill, single, single parenting

The other day I ran into a gal I don’t know super well and had not seen in awhile. I always liked her and her husband, a very striking couple with three picture perfect girls. They seemed happy in the photos on Facebook of them hiking, or in sappy happy anniversary posts to each other, or photos with the kids. She was active in church. Volunteered at the school. Seemed to have a very good life.

That’s why I was shocked to bump into her the other day and have her break the news they have divorced, but everything is good, and both are happier. I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to talk then but she wants to get together soon.

The youngest daughter just went off to college. (The mom is very attractive and young looking, my guess is they started their family young. She was in the Air Force when they met, so maybe she’s older than I think but… anyway…) I hate to predict this but my guess is she’s doing some version of empty nest, “Eat, Pray, Love.”

I wanted to tell her. Warn her. Advise her to go back and do whatever it takes to preserve her marriage. But I could tell by the hopeful gleam in her eye as she shared the news,  she probably wouldn’t get it.

I suspect, like many do, she thinks I love being a strong independent female.

I think she will be surprised. I wonder if I won’t be.

Very sad.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

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