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biological clock, commitment, commitment phobia, dating, dating advice, dating after divorce, divorce, dream guy, happily ever after, marriage, marriage material, marriage minded, online dating, red pill, relationships, remarriage
So often when I hear women talking of finding a guy they are quick to list all of the many qualities and requirements they want — the must-have list.
Naturally the list of often quite demanding. She only wants the best, after all!
Often if I ask her what she has to offer, I am met with a confused look and radio silence. Big mistake.
A woman who is serious about meeting and marrying a guy who is what every other gal also hopes to find would be foolish not to put herself in his shoes and consider if she is what a guy such as that would be seeking? Does she even know what that is?
And as many guys like that readily admit, the answer is usually, “No.”
Add to that the legal environment is not set up to favor, much less equally protect, him in the case of divorce and child custody, combined with a lifetime of observing this harsh reality in the lives of the men around them, such men today are even more wary of becoming a husband and father.
So he’s facing a dating pool of women who eagerly rattle off checklists of all he must be and do, who at the same time have little to no understanding of what he wants or needs, and meanwhile his odds are the same as flipping a coin that if he marries and has kids that he’ll end up in divorce court vs. that lasting a lifetime. Can you see why he may not be saying, “Sign me up!”
One can dismiss this inconvenient truth all she likes, blame his commitment phobia, or demand he needs to, “Man up!” But guess what? That’s not going to get her any closer to her goal.
A savvy gal instead becomes singleminded in figuring out what a guy like that is looking for and does all she can to develop herself and those qualities. The earlier in life she does this, the better.
Such women are exceedingly rare, some might call them unicorns. But in that rareness they stand out like a precious jewel — the kind of woman every guy is looking for.
See how that’s a two-way street? Yep.
Let those who have ears hear!
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
“Often if I ask her what she has to offer, I am met with a confused look and radio silence.” Reminds me of a story told by Peter Drucker, the author and management consultant…
When Drucker was young, he did some work for a wealthy Dutch banker, who had four wives. It seems the man didn’t believe it was healthy for a woman to have more than 3 children…apparently he didn’t believe in contraception or didn’t trust it…so after the count of three was reached with a wife, he’d divorce her and marry another. And they all lives together, apparently happily.
Drucker couldn’t tell them apart…they all seemed like the “regulation Dutch housewife” to him…and the banker explained: “I’m old enough to know the woman for whom I make a good husband and stick to that model.”
Probably not many would have said **the woman for whom I make a good husband**, most men would have said **the woman who makes a good wife for me**.
What does a man want? It could never be defined by two women. The irony is when I hear single moms in their 20’s answer: I have a kid. I’m a strong woman.
These things generally don’t rank in the top 30.
If it was a tit for tat exchange of expectations, no women would probably be selected.
There are generally just four things you could hit to pick up a man.
‘Often if I ask her what she has to offer, I am met with a confused look and radio silence. Big mistake.’
Well outside of feminism telling them being strong, independent, and awesome (but nothing about virtue, wife, home and baby making, feminine skills and soft personality) I wouldn’t expect them to have a clue. They only know what they expect men to be.
Flip side Bloom, the minute a man even hints at having some standards for women (the more feminine the better)…the harpies come out and wail and gnash teeth. ‘Misoygynist!’ They say. So I often wonder just if the average Western woman knows how much she’s lost in these times.
You called? Is the coast clear? Did we ditch Catherine?
What an embarrassment Catherine was.
I was going to say that there was no Catherine. I was going to say that Catherine was just a figment of my imagination. I was going to say that Catherine was just my cheap ploy at garnering sympathy from the denizens of this Blog Site. But no. Catherine is all too real. Admittedly, Catherine is an egregious example. At the same time Catherine is what is available to me in the dating pool. Welcome to my world. If the prospect of Catherine as my girlfriend doesn’t illicit sympathy for me on the part of RPG, I don’t know what will.
No, the coast is not clear. Catherine lurks.
Roger,
You have my sympathies with respect to Catherine. The hardest thing a MGTOW has to deal with is the realization that there are no NAWALTs out there.
RPG,
I think you just gave an example of galactic solipsism. They are not going to get it. Once you drill down to the bottom, they can’t understand that they are part of a team.
This year’s pornstar convention had fewer pornstars than last year. This pornstar convention is not the big one. The big one is called Biz X, and it happens in January.
Last year the Sunday of the convention fell on Mother’s Day. They were giving out free passes to the Sunday of 2019 saying that there were fewer pornstars because it was Mother’s Day. But when I went on this past Saturday there were even fewer pornstars than on Mother’s Day last year. The problem is that they need to find a way for the pornstars to make money. I’m sure that what has happened is that the pornstars realized that it wasn’t worth their time to stand there. Last year there were twenty or so normal, healthy-looking women. This year the pornstars who showed up looked sickly. They looked skinny, but skinny due uppers as opposed to skinny due to exercise and a healthy diet.
I was only able to give money out to Norah Nova, who is a housewife with two kids. The other pornstars were too difficult to talk to. The hooker that I brought with me had more success at talking to them. She was collecting their contact information to invite them to her party. She likes to throw parties for guys like me and hookers like her.
The highlight of the afternoon for me was giving $100 to Norah Nova. I stood in front of her at a bit of a distance and I held up the $100 bill in front of me. I said, “Oh, Norah.” I walked toward her holding out the $100 bill for her to take.
She was startled at first, worried that it was some sort of trick. She said, “For me? All of it?”
I said, “I am Roger Blakely, the guy who told you that you did such a good job on the VR Bangers video. Here. I’m going to kiss your neck.”
By now she was beaming from ear to ear. She told us about how much fun she had on that shoot. She told us that she was so turned on that she was sweating up a storm. They had to stop the shoot a couple of times to dry her off. I asked her if the male in the video was the VR Bangers producer.
She said, “No. It was a famous male pornstar who is known for bondage. I asked if he could move his hands while he was laying there behind the VR camera. I asked if he could choke me.”
I asked, “Does he choke you later in the video?” I said, “I’ve never made it to the end of the video.”
“Yes,” she said. “Unless they edited it out.”
By this time Norah was clutching the now-folded-up $100 bill because, you know, she didn’t have pockets.
I am my man’s dark unicorn. I know exactly what I bring to the table, and so does he.
These qualities of a woman might not be valuable to every man, but they only need to be valuable to her man.
@freemattpidcast welcome! Yes I would agree it will vary from man to man but there likely are some good constants, too. I have a guess what the four things might be but I am curious to hear it from you. We (mostly a guy named Deti has spoken of it many times) have talked about this “short list” here many times so your outside observation would be interesting to see how those match up!
@Earl I think you are right, most likely have no clue what they have lost. I had no idea before I found the manosphere (and I can still get caught up in my post modern programming, falling back on strong and independent vs soft and interdependent). And as recently discussed at Spawny most women the past few generations have learned short term game vs long term. So what works in the dating realm may work against her as far as the marriage/long term/relationship building vs abandoning skills arena.
I seem to have missed the Catherine era, I apologize I don’t check in daily like I once did and likely missed that during a span I had been gone to long to really reread all that was discussed. I’ll have to look back but sounds like a non red pill gal likely got a complete shock of her life to read the things discussed here. Then just freaked and declared it all rubbish. I am guessing but is that pretty close?
@ fuzzie worse they have been taught that ever letting their guard down to become part of a team would lead to oppression and victimization. It’s like women have been taught green is yellow and yello is green! They don’t even know what they have been taught will “save them” in fact destroys all hope for them! Sad.
@fuzzie you have pretty much been here from the start of my own journey, have hopefully seen how much I try, how hard I have worked, and how much I have learned and yet four + years later I STILL can snap right back into that old mindset. Even knowing all I know! It’s like a well worn record groove the needle jumps to on autopilot. So if it’s that hard for ME to not do so, imagine the odds of someone who doesn’t even see it or begin to understand the issues getting it. It’s like the flat earth era thinking the round earth types were completely mad! And sailing off to sure doom rather than new worlds. My former babysitter on the other had, never had the false program. She navigated becoming a wife and mom with complete ease, a duck in water! Not that she’s nawalt but I used to marvel how natural and easy things came to her vs myself, 20 years older! It’s hard to explain… but I am not sure if I will ever get to what comes to her naturally. I will always be hobbling along on my crutches trying my best while she just saunters on wo a thought. That’s what women have lost — their natural intuition. It’s the female version of the blue pill guy that has been so thoroughly taught masculinity is to be avoided at all costs that if he even tries it feels so wrong and terrifying he can’t. No matter how much he may want it orunderstand it works for others or knows it logically but he’s been taught to the core of his being so that he himself can’t even take two steps in that direction before the brainwashing snaps him back into being “a good guy.”
And further Fuzzie mind you I was likely “brainwashed light” compared to today. I was still of the era people dated, went steady, went slow, maybe someday (but not too young God forbid!!!) married. Today with Tinder and hookups and so many being even even any semblance of that being “normal” much less “acceptable” … imagine….
“I seem to have missed the Catherine era,“
You did’nt miss a thing, trust me.
“Often if I ask her what she has to offer, I am met with a confused look and radio silence. ”
LOL! Nicely put, RPG. Absolutely no clue what the females have of value other than a piece of ass
RPG,
I don’t know what to do about it. Women are not about to accept any input from men on this.
You’ll be happy to know that Catherine was treated well. Liz did most of the talking.
@ Larry g sadly. And when that was a big part but backed up with offspring raised well and fidelity. It worked. On its own? Meh. Hit it and forget it!
RPG,
As long as women see benefit and advantage from feminism, this will go on. When they see that they are cutting their own throats, they will drop it like a hot potato.
I can’t see how men play into that.
Liz did most of the talking w me too. Maybe w some reflection Catherine will seek more info! I hope so.
Blaming women who have been brainwashed does as much good as blaming blue pilled nice guys. Part of the problem? Yes. But it won’t lead in either case to a solution. Awakening to the loss and lies is the only way… and even that is not easy nor fun. We’ve been sold flat earth when it never was that.
Probably the best they can do is refuse to play. Mtgow. Of whatever form. Or take the risk knowing it. But ignorance is not bliss. And correct men trying to tell women won’t work. Only women can tell women. And even then it’s a hard sell.
I dont know how to fix it either bear, not globally. All I can control is my own choices, my own world. Personally I ditched the hot potato. Maybe I am an early adopter? Time will tell. And if I save me and mine, that’s about the best I can hope. Any extra is a bonus.
Speaking of bears, I think that humans are making it more complicated that it has to be.
It is like she is saying, “I really like you, but I am not in season.”
On the other hand I just happened to check the stats for my site which I rarely do and was shocked to find 4200+ unique visitors have looked at it since Jan. 1. I have hardly been posting. I wonder if they are reading back stuff or? And why and how can they not comment? Even if they disagree? Clearly I cannot NOT comment lol, but I am getting better than back when I commented on every comment! Even the ones not directed to me. Lol. Good thing for all your sake I am so busy, I guess!
RPG,
It sounds like you have developed a following. They may be too shy to comment.
“Outrage Fatigue” One of your better posts, RPG. Stay busy and stay out of the way, the shrieking will go on with or without your input.
A dark unicorn is pretty cute
Horseman said it best:
She has to be better than nothing!
Most men can learn to live with nothing. Can she bring something/ anything positive to the table. Based on RPG’s post, most of the women she has had this conversations with can’t even comprehend bringing something positive to the table.
Possibly because women are taught that just being a women and existing are positive things and any man would be lucky to have one.
a cute 1940’s advert……
Lovely!!!
there, there…dry your tears….
totally agree…
Let me point to the “man tax”.
At some point today or tomorrow I want to go over The Deti’s devastating post over at Spawnyspace last week. At this point I just want to pull some ideas together to highlight the “man tax”.
I was convinced by The Deti’s argument that what women these days want is to have sex with hot men, i.e., sex with as many hot men as possible for as many years as possible. Women have shown that they don’t want to be married. If women really wanted to be married, they’d be married.
The Deti also mentioned that women are not interested in what men have traditionally provided them, i.e., provision and protection. These days women have their own jobs, and they don’t need men’s money.
Fuzzie has correctly pointed out a wrinkle with the 80/20 rule. The idea of the 80/20 rule is that eighty percent of women are only interested in the top twenty percent of men. Fuzzie and I wish that it were true. The reality that men in cities face is the 98/2 rule; i.e., that ninety-eight percent of women are only interested in the top two percent of men.
We have heard that women are the gatekeepers of sex and that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Now men find themselves in a situation where women no longer value men’s commitment. They don’t need men’s commitment because they don’t want to be married anyway.
So here comes the man tax. If men want sex, something that I argue that men desperately need in order to stay healthy, they are going to have to pay prostitutes.
I am a little upset with my number one and number two hookers. These days number one and number two are legitimate starving students in the California university system. In chatting with them about the future, both of them indicated that they will continue working as hookers on the Web Site after they finish with their studies and get real jobs. They are going to continue to charge men for sex after the point in their lives when they no longer need men’s money to make ends meet. My number three and number four hookers, in contrast, are professional sex workers who have no plans for leaving their line of work. They will always need to charge men for sex because sex is their only source of income.
Let’s say that a man makes an average wage. Let’s say that he makes $20 per hour. This wage is actually a little higher than the average wage, but we’ll use it anyway. His gross income is $800 per week. After taxes (25% effective tax rate) he takes home $600 per week. If he wants to have sex with normal hookers in So Cal, he is going to pay $300. If he wants to have sex every week, it is going to cost him fifty percent of his net income. If he wants to have sex every two weeks, it is going to cost him twenty-five percent of his net income.
If a guy wants to stay happy and healthy, he is going to end up spending about the same amount of money on sex as he spends on rent. And as someone in New York City once said, “Rent’s too damn high.”
Someone once said about modern women and feminism, “They have all of the pussy, and now they want half of the money.” The end result of the feminist attitudes of modern women is that ordinary guys are going to end up spending between a quarter and a half of their net income on sex.
This is where the sex doll comes in. If a guy deals with the sex doll and virtual reality pornography, he might be able to get by with only having sex with a real woman once per month.
Something else that needs to be discussed is that a man spending half of his net income on sex is still better off than if he were married. If he were married, he’d spend more than half his income on his wife, and he’d get no sex.
Yeah. Death and taxes.
Sure to royally piss off feminists every time! Love it!
LMAO! Um, nothing to ad to this ad…
I don’t read French but kinda self explanatory, no?
almost my favorite…
well nuts..and I quit smoking 5 years ago…
Take a hint, Ladies…
Yo! Ho….want to THOT trot?
Consider the proposition that 98% want the 2%.
Consider the city of Los Angeles. Consider two populations in Los Angeles: all the single women, and all the single men.
Is there even one woman in the single womans’ population who even knows who 100% of the single men are in Los Angeles?
Give 100% of the single women in Los Angeles a list of 100% of the single men in Los Angeles. Ask them to read through the list and check off each name that they are attracted to. Or, better yet, create a database with 100% of the single mens’ names in it and ask 100% of the single women to search the list with a computer program and check off all of the men they are attracted to that they find in the database.
Now run crosstabs and see what percent of the total population had sex with the same guys. That would be the only way to prove that 98% had 2%.
Thinking in this way makes it obvious that they only way to prove that 98% are attracted to 2% is to prove that each woman in the singles category has had sufficient interaction with 100% of the guys in the singles list. Without such an interaction, how can a girl know that she is attracted? Certainly reading names in a list isn’t going to elicite attraction.
Logic suggests that not one of the single women has had interaction with 100% of the single guys. Not even close. But yet we keep repeating the 80 / 20 or 98 / 2 rule. In spite of what logic shows us.
And yet we make fun of Sandy O for the silly things she says.
Re. the “Now run crosstabs …” paragraph. s/b “are attracted to” rather than “had sex with”.
@RichardP: I think that what Fuzzie and I are getting at is that the situation is hopeless for the vast majority of men. It you were facing 80/20, the argument could reasonably be made that efforts at self-improvement could reward you with a chance of being chosen by a woman. But when you are facing 98/2, you might as well give up.
Yeah – and your use of 80.20 ir 98/2 has no basis in fact – as no woman in any city is going to encounter 100 % of the men in order to figure out who she is attracted to.
To say that you cannot attract a woman that you would consider having is one thing. That says nothing about whether you could attract such a woman by looking elsewhere – even in the same city. For a given 12-block area, the women in the library are going to be different then they women looking to be picked up and taken home at the nightclub. Having said that, I agree that the situation for the vast majority of men is hopless – given the approaches they are using. Different approaches could well produce different results. But “being the right man” requires proper training from competent adult males at an earlier stage of life. If that is missing, there may well be no hope, in the nightclud OR the library.
Dalrock et. al are accused of pointing out the problem over and over again while not providing workable routines that might help engineer a solution. Continuing to use the illogical meme of 80 / 20 or 98 / 2 is part of the problem of constantly “defining” the problem while ignoring in-depth discussions of possible solutions. I would guess that the reason this is done is that most (all?) don’t have a clue as to what proposed solution might work. Particularly if “being the right person” is part of the solution – and the time for learning how to be the right person is long past.
@RPG said: I seem to have missed the Catherine era
https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2019/01/21/post-outrage/comment-page-1/#comments
Search the page on “Catherine”
I have a post on Page 2 and another on Page 3 of that thread that riff on what I said to you a while back when you expressed concern about your older daughter. Search those pages on “Richard” if you want to find the posts.
@redpillgirlnotes: Not in a specific order but adjusted for a man’s taste/situation. Beauty. Fertility. Youth. Symmetry. (Its watered down but every man’s top 4 are different. It can be hit and miss but most women are despondent when they cant find a man that hits a hell of a lot more than 4 things). There is no breakage or easement.
So I often wonder just if the average Western woman knows how much she’s lost in these times.
The answer is mostly no. I have an upcoming post on that topic
Richard P,
I found this from two and a half years ago. Out of 203k right swipes, he never got to a third date with any of them. I did see a picture of him. There is nothing wrong with him. 98/2 may be an exaggeration. It may be orders of magnitude worse.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2016/08/01/this-guy-has-swiped-right-on-200000-women-without-much-success/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.60f8e92f54e2
Roger,
I don’t think that men will spring for prostitutes with half their take home while their landlords get the other half. In ancient Rome, the standard price was equivalent to the price of a loaf of bread.My guess is that if women wreck the sexual marketplace, the cost of prostitution will plummet.
You rang?
Point of OP.
35 year old hunky financially well off handyman. Guy is one of five in the metro area hitting the boxes. So any woman is competing with what 2, 3, 4 THOUSAND women ages 25-50 to land him permanently.
Plus the last decade was being alone, doing as he pleases, at best not being taken seriously by women he wants to marry to at worst outright rejected. His default setting is unimpressed, self sufficient bachelor.
You beat the other women…..how?
A real life example. I am 6-1, 180 and can still run a <30 min 5km.
Imagine what its costs monthly to board my 5 horses.
I just paid cash for an acre lot with caribbean beachfront.
I have over half a million in liquid investments and zero debt. Even the cars are paid.
I turned down a six figure job offer this month because I felt like it.
Whats it gonna take to win me?
A 55 year old, slightly chubby girl with sags and wrinkles….
……who bore my children and stayed with me thru 30 years of poverty!!
Toodles
You are not going to meet the top 2%. Ever. Look at ALL the people you have EVER met even in passing of the opposite sex assuming cis. How many are even a 7, an 8 on whatever scale; looks, money, stability, whatever. How many? 3? 4?
Any 9?
Now look at ALL the people of your sex you have EVER met even in passing. Could you win even the 7 against ALL of them? Beat Every Single One of them? None are better than you?
And what if even if you “won” could you still land the 7 if they had any reservations or previous experience about commitment?
Now how about the 9?
Awwwww did I hurt your widdow feeewings?
Get real people.
Alternative. Its the apocalypse today. You are at the local mall. Its sealed but self sustaining food water heat etc forever. Within there you have to repopulate. With only the people at the mall RIGHT NOW. Go.
Thats reality folks.
98/2 my ass. Eventually guys wanna fuck and girls wanna spawn. Eventually (40s)
Too bad once they do they hate who they did it with.
It is irrecoverable.
Fuzz…half your takehome? Anything over 200/hr would be ultra high class I am guessing. Hell lunch at subway every day costs more than 200 a month.
It would be a viable alternative.
P.s. its coming. Booze, smokes, lottery, casinos, pot. All other sources of sin taxes are maxed and govt still runs deficits. Its gotta come soon. Daddy needs taxes to pay the single moms. There is nothing else.
So I often wonder just if the average Western woman knows how much she’s lost in these times.
The answer is mostly no. I have an upcoming post on that topic
Respectfully disagree.
Every single woman over 45 post menaupasal without a committed relationship knows the soul crushing reality of her chances for the Rest of Her Life.
Admit it? Nope. Take responsibility? Nope.
But every lonely night staring at the ceiling at three a.m.
She Knows!! Oh She Knows!!!
At the same three a.m. Mrs rolls over and puts her hand on mine and sighs contentedly in her sleep. She Knows!!
Ahahahahahahaha.
(Yes I am eveil for taking joy at it)
Yes. Yes I am 🙂
I wrote that I am a little upset with my number-one and number-two hookers for saying that they intend to continue charging men for sex after the point in their lives when they no longer need men’s money to make ends meet. I guess that I shouldn’t be too hard on them. Hooking is an addiction.
Ladies, let me pull back the veil a little bit so that you can take a peek. Hooking is far more gratifying and wonderful than anyone has been willing to tell you. You can fly your freak flag and get paid handsomely for it. My hookers have snorted at my question. “What am I going to do? Work a nine-to-five job? Are you kidding me?”
Hooking is one of the few situations in life where women get massive and immediate validation for being what they want to be, i.e., sexy feminine women. Her job is to go to the trouble of looking pretty and sexy. For her efforts she is going to be rewarded by having sex with an acceptable man who is going to pay her half a week’s wages for an hour of sex. For the purpose of this discussion, let’s assume that there is nothing wrong with the man. He isn’t horribly ugly; he isn’t grossly overweight; and he doesn’t have bad hygiene. For a woman that is a huge hit of dopamine.
Where else is a woman going to get that much validation for being sexy and feminine? Her work uniform is lingerie. My work uniform is a work shirt with a patch with my name over one pocket and a patch with the company’s logo over the other. When does a woman get to wear lingerie? None of my girlfriends ever owned a stitch of lingerie.
Want to act like a slut and a little whore? Get your freak on, baby. The freakier the better. Whatever fantasies or fetishes a woman has, she is welcome to express them. She will be rewarded by having an army of loyal, well-paying worshipers (including me) at her service.
The only problem is that once a woman gets a taste of it, she can’t go back. She loses the ability to have a normal relationship. She loses the ability to enjoy sex if she isn’t getting paid. If a man isn’t handing her half a week’s wages, she feels as if she is being taken advantage of. Going out on a normal date seems tedious. Is she going to let a man have sex with her because he said something charming? Will she let him have sex with her because he bought her a $20 entre? How lame.
There is one more element of the hooker experience that I want to mention here. The process promotes immediate intimacy. It’s sex, yes, I know. But let me mention something that will make my point. On Saturday I was at my number-two hooker’s house. In her apartment the bathroom off of her bedroom is somewhat cramped. We continued our conversation while she sat on the toilet peeing. That is a moment of intimacy that takes months to achieve with a normal girlfriend.
After reading Horseman’s comments, I am reminded that hypergamy cuts both ways. It can be a real detriment for women.
Roger,
It may be ancient history, but there really was a Flora who ran a bordello out of the Bear Flag building on Cannery Row made famous by John Steinbeck. She was usually able to see her girls get married off to someone in Salinas, the county seat twenty five miles away, but culturally as distant as the moon. However, you may be correct for today. I don’t think that women can change lifestyles that radically.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2019/03/01/the-road-to-cats/
She loses the ability to have a normal relationship. She loses the ability to enjoy sex if she isn’t getting paid.
That’s a pretty big drawback for anyone who believes in value beyond just dollars and cents.
Liz,
You did say that you worked as a nurse in Pahrump. It’s likely that you are acquainted with more women in this business than Roger. Can they make the transition from “the life” to normality?
Seriously all women here need to watch this.
Why the shaming tactic “aren’t you afraid of dying alone” is coming out more and more.
Because there is now a significant population of women 45+ who Are alone and fear this happening. AsTerrance Pop says 40 to 80 is a long time.
Men dont fear dying alone.
Men work dangerous jobs, men can be drafted, men commute long distances, men must protect their families from crime, weather. Men have strokes, heart attacks.
Men Know there is a good chance they may die suddenly well before retirement. A peaceful death of old age alone is a gift not something to fear.
Women are the ones who fear. But not death. Lonliness.
Years and years and decades and decades. Alone. The middle aged women no one sees. The old lady sitting in her apartment at 65 looking at the clock ticking her empty life away.
And men dont care about them. So shame wont work.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/competence/
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/competence/
Liz,
You did say that you worked as a nurse in Pahrump.
Hm….I might’ve had a Pahrump story or two, I’ve been there a couple of times, but never lived or worked there. Trying to remember when I’ve mentioned it and what the context might’ve been, but can’t recall.
That would DEFINITELY be an interesting place to work as a nurse, though!
(probably sad too)
A woman’s b.s. is grounded in two things; boredom and jealousy
A man’s b.s. is grounded in two things; frustration and tiredness
A woman wants to be amused and have possession
A man wants to achieve and have peace
Toodles
Paul Elam is interested in my concept of treating whores with all the love and respect that I would have for a wife.
Men provide and protect, and women reward men with affection and sex. Clouding this relationship is the great crime of feminism. Every time men took women’s rhetoric about equality at face value, men got burned. Warren Farrell talks about going on a date with one of the leaders of NOW. He didn’t pay for dinner, and he didn’t get a second date.
The term whore has no meaning. All women are whores.
So what is wrong with me treating my whores like wives? What is wrong wiith taking them to the mall to buy them clothes, or taking their car to the shop and pay for the shop to replace the timing belt?
I’ve been told, “You are just deceiving yourself into thinking that you are in a relationship.” Oh, really? Why don’t you ask every divorced man what it felt like when he first realized that his marriage was an illusion.
My whores are better than any of the girlfriends that I’ve ever had.
There’s a necessary concept to get across: many women want to “wash themselves” in the status of the men they’re associated with, and so the 493 point check list exists because they want to raise their status by association.
Never mind that any reasonably aware man will regard such women as possibly necessary evils in the lives of their male friends, at best tolerable weaknesses and at worst life liabilities. These women are all about their own status, no quid pro quo, no ceteris paribus, and certainly no sense of being a useful “helpmeet”, hence why reasonably aware men see them in such stark terms.
The former slut becomes the “high status” wife of a university professor, and the cheerleader “party favour” becomes the wife of a police constable, both expecting to raise their status by association within the community and among their friends …
You’d think these situations would produce unsurprising results, and to an extent, you’d be right, but the follow-on results have at least for me been a surprise. During the inevitable divorces, the university professor went into a mental health hospice while the police constable hung himself …
And so I’m very much attuned to the status desires of women mostly because the history of my own friends tells me very much to be constantly aware of it.
I believe men have a much sharper survival instinct than women and will walk away from bad situations as long as they feel there’s a way to walk away from them …
Otherwise, fight-or-flight doesn’t always work out the way that their friends would have ever expected.
Men are staying away in droves because their core survival instincts have kicked in, and to paraphrase The Architect from “The Matrix”, there are modes of survival these men are willing to accept.
And when Neo no longer loves Trinity?
Or worse never approaches her?
“There is no spoon” has become “There is no love”
Horseman, are you actually trying to convince young women that marriage is a good idea for them?
I have to ask.
I can’t answer for horseman, but this is the way I interpret it…
We are entering a time when marriage will be rare, so if you are a young women interested in marriage and a life partner, you need to understand that you want a rare thing. You will be lucky to find it. You need to get serious about it and make plans. If you believe in god, prayers would be good too.
Liz,
It was years ago, but the impression that stuck with me was that you were a nurse serving a nearby brothel.
Roger,
I am laughing out loud at the idea of buying presents. It does kind of stand the whole concept on its head.
goFigure,
I does seem as if feminism ha taken the concept of marriage and run it straight up on the rocks. I don’t think that women in general have come to see this yet. You’ll hear the howling when they do. That was a valuable option for them.
Hm…I did take a couple of brothel tours, and I’m acquainted with a very high end prostitute (haven’t spoken to her in years). We lived in Las Vegas for about four years total (two different assignments). Never did the nursing gig for prostitutes though (think I might’ve had an anecdote from a night in the ER when we had to get the bolt cutters out for a “chastity belt” of sorts (needed to put in a catheter).
Ah, nursing stories. 😆
Bolt cutters??? I don’t think I want to know any more. Thanks, for clearing that up.
Aw, com’on. That’s a cheap shot. Don’t act like you haven’t had to go to the emergency room to have your chastity belt cut off at least once in your life.
LOL Roger. 😆
Mom always said….always wear a fresh
pair of underwearchastity belt!You never know if you might have to go to the hospital.
Marriage is wonderful.
But only if you go into it unselfishly, believing the combination is more than the parts. Not whats in it for me or even what do I do for him/her.
Its what can I do for the marriage that supports US.
Believe in, do for, protect The Marriage.
At the same time trying to scare the shit out of the 25-35 who think the party lasts forever.
Realistically if you are at your 42 birthday not in a committed relationship
You Never Will Be Again.
Short term maybe, flings, but both sexes are past expiry date or unable to bond.
Therefore the last Four Decades spent alone.
I wouldnt wish that on anyone.
Gofigure…bingo.
Ladies….get it thru your head.
An average guy 25 today. Raised by feminists, soaked by the media
Does. Not. Want. Marriage.
To Anyone.
Ever.
So on top of competing with every other girl you have to convince him on the concept.
If you are not actively training at 25 and hunting…..its never gonna just happen.
You Will meet your soulmate. On the subway, at work, in the shops.
Its just he wont notice you and if he does he will say “Meh”
And walk out of your life.
Never saying Hi
Never giving you even a 30 second chance to pitch how great you are.
Marriage is wonderful
The gods gift to mankind
Too bad its dead
Heh, fair enough. Thanks for the response, Horseman! 🙂
I happen to work around weddings from time to time and while they are still happening, more and more when I ask how they met, I hear “We’ve been together since high school.” Even if they are early 20s and have put it off until going to school etc. so yes, by 25 he’s either has his first love break his heart or he’s been rejected too many times to count or all sorts of possible scnerios. Girls who are being told to put things off, have experiences, don’t settle down too soon.. all advice that will work against them, and yet it’s commonly proclaimed vs. marry young, be faithful and true. Don’t drink the cat lady kool aid!
I’m glad to see that RPG is peeping the comments today. Here is a good topic for RPG to post: the cultivation of male loyalty.
A number of comments have been knocking around in my head as I try to make sense of things. I posted a comment discussing how rewarding and sexually gratifying prostitution is for women. The biggest drawback for women is that they lose their ability to enjoy sex without having a man hand them half a week’s wages for one hour of sex. They also loose their ability to endure the tedium of normal dating. Liz commented, “That’s a pretty big drawback for anyone who believes in value beyond just dollars and cents.”
When—for Pete’s sake—has a woman ever said that a life goal of hers is to conserve her ability to pair bond with a man? When has a woman ever said that she wants to do everything in her power to circumvent her natural tendency to shit-can her man and blow up her marriage (rinse and repeat).
Now let me talk about the sexual marketplace. Young women walk around acting high and mighty because they think that they are winning in the sexual marketplace. The t-shirt has a fish riding a bicycle, and the caption reads, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” I can imagine Nicole Michelle (black dating coach for women out of Atlanta) saying something like, “But you forgot to read the back of the t-shirt, baby girl, because it says, ‘until she’s thirty’.” When they said that you don’t need a man, they didn’t mean that you don’t need a man. They meant that you don’t need a man until you’ve hit the wall. And then you need a man.
Young women think that the sexual marketplace is their friend. Let’s go figure. Let’s say that a woman’s adult years go from twenty years of age to eighty-five years of age. That is sixty-five years of living as an adult. Let’s say that the sexual marketplace is kind to her from the age of twenty years old to the age of thirty-five years old. Fifteen years out of sixty-five years is twenty percent. The sexual marketplace was good to her for twenty percent of her adult life. If I had a friend who was only good to me for twenty percent of the time, I wouldn’t call that person a friend. I’d call that person an enemy. So the sexual marketplace, in the big picture, is a woman’s enemy.
Over a woman’s lifetime she survives due to the kindness of men. A young woman deludes herself into thinking that she thrives due to the kindness of the sexual marketplace. If a young woman were smart, she would realize that her survival depends far more on the kindness of men than on the kindness of the sexual marketplace. If a young woman were smart, she would cultivate male loyalty from the beginning. She would prioritize the cultivation of male loyalty over the exploitation of her fleeting value in the sexual marketplace.
Male loyalty is an anti-sexual-marketplace force. Male loyalty opposes the logic of the sexual marketplace. This is what mgtowhorseman is getting at when he describes his wife as slightly chubby. He is saying that since she has cultivated his loyalty over decades of marriage, he acts in a manner that is contrary to the logic of the sexual marketplace and takes care of her as his wife in spite of her value on the open sexual marketplace having fallen dramatically over the decades.
Now we are going the see the effects of second wave feminism. My mother, the first of the Baby Boomers (born in 1946), is seventy-two years old. My mother has been alone for thirty years. She is looking at another thirty years of being alone. We are going to start to see mass female homelessness. We are going to she the results of women having cultivated everything but male loyalty. Two and a half generations of women are going to pay for their mistake. The price is going to be staggering. And women are going to pay that price until they finally die. Misery and death is all that awaits them.
Grace = unmerited mercy. Going forward, some men will be gracious to some of these women. Mostly through non-profit organizations.
Orm Sati:
https://www.rt.com/news/india-ritual-suicide-sati/
“Orm” s/b “Or”
When—for Pete’s sake—has a woman ever said that a life goal of hers is to conserve her ability to pair bond with a man?
I mentioned it (tangentially) back in November. Part of the whole long term benefit over short term thing.
When has a woman ever said that she wants to do everything in her power to circumvent her natural tendency to shit-can her man and blow up her marriage (rinse and repeat).
Everyone who doesn’t shit can her man/marriage would seem to be going so.
Lots of people doing this on the day to day. They don’t usually post on youtube.
Trust and loyalty are things that build over time. You have to go through some shit together.
I had to run out to the market. As if on cue there was an old white woman clinging to a young asian woman as they stood on the grassy curb of the parking lot. The old woman was acting as if she were going to fall down. She was crying for help and crying for her walker. Another guy and I got pulled into the situation by the women helping her.
It looked like a scene staged for attention. If she were so frail, how was it that she was able to drive to the market and do some shopping with her walker? I put her bag of tangerines in her trunk and her purse on her passenger seat.
It sure looks like what happened was that she was at home and felt lonely. She drove to the market and staged a scene to get some attention.
This is the future that mgtowhorseman has been warning us about, a society full of lonely old women staging scenes to get attention.
Roger
Aka Horseman’s patented 1 for 5 rule.
Been saying it for years.
It didn’t have to be this way.
@horseman said: It didn’t have to be this way.
The problem I have with your response quoted above is that you have no way of knowing the lady’s 60-year backstory. Here is someone weaker than you, asking for help. Do you quiz each one and help only those whose backstory is acceptable to you? Old ladies get frail, even if they’ve been married to the same man for 60 years.
I read somewhere a long time ago something that speaks to Roger’s market story. The writer said something to the effect I would rather act to help and be made the fool for doing so than pass someone by who genuinely needed help and I didn’t act in order to not be made the fool.
In Roger’s case, and in all of the others similar to it, you can’t ever know if you are being played by someoneone (unless this is the ninth time for the same lady), so it it more effective and efficient to put your head down and, as Nike says, just do it. And then be on your way.
Finally – this silly cliche was created for these kinds of situations: you water plants because they need it, not because they deserve it. Moreso with humans. Unless, as I said above, they have developed a track record with you so that you know for certain that they are playing you.
The point brought up, having to deal with aging single women, is going to be exacerbated by the inversion of the demographic pyramid. There will be a lot fewer younger ones to assist the the older ones. It is not going to end well and the resolution will not be spoken of after the fact. That tells me that women will try to introduce feminism again in a few generations.
Don’t need no man.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/will-congress-repair-the-safety-net-for-older-americans-2019-03-04
First, many eligible Americans, especially older adults, are not receiving safety net benefits to which they are entitled. For example, the National Council on Aging estimates that almost 60% of older Americans eligible for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP; formerly known as food stamps) aren’t enrolled. Access to federal benefits is especially challenging for older women, who represent nearly two-thirds of all people 65 and older living in poverty. Certain safety net programs have shown a bias against women regarding benefits and coverage by considering work history and salary history; historically, women have been more likely to be unpaid caregivers and to have lower salaries than men. Fixing this type of bias is a prime example of potential safety net reform.
I meant society didnt have to be this way.
But to your point, yes as an honourable man you would help. To the weak, infirm, helpless so would I.
But if she was able bodied….NO!
A single mom with a bunch of kids in tow….NO!
A SIW drove her BMW into a snowbank…NO!
Do for kin.
Chivalry is dead, come to the rescue is dead, for the community is dead.
Men are refusing to help. Ignoring strangers.
The goodwill that fuels self sacrifice, aultruism is gone.
It didnt have to be this way.
But now that it is its irrecoverable.
Completely unrelated. Shadenfreude.
The last time I checked, long term care costs about five thousand a month of sixty thousand a year.That is too much for government or charity, especially on the scale that we are considering.
mgtowhorseman
17h ago
But to your point, yes as an honourable man you would help. To the weak, infirm, helpless so would I.
i’m really glad to hear that, Horseman. often you come across as never being willing to help anyone outside your approved family circle, ever, for any reason. i keep thinking you’re not that cold-hearted! 🙂
Yeah, Fuzzie, longterm care is extremely expensive.
First thing I looked up: Average costs for specific states are also available. $225 a day or $6,844 per month for a semi-private room in a nursing home. $253 a day or $7,698 per month for a private room in a nursing home.
Unbelievably expensive, especially for what they get (food is typically terrible, facilities are understaffed).
As a side note, Mike and I try to help people when we can. Makes for a better world.
Just to add (the snow is wet and I’m feeling lazy this morning, getting a slow start). Obviously there is a happy medium. There’s no benefit to making oneself a patsy and there are only so many people one can help (and folks do take advantage). There’s not a whole lot to be lost in helping a person to their car and putting a bag of oranges in the seat though. Mike’s been taken advantage of in the past. My dad was too. I’m sure I have been (nothing comes to mind at the moment). Over time, you learn who can be trusted and who can’t. Also people start to trust you. I have a reputation in this new neighborhood with the few folks I know, simply because we put ourselves out there (volunteered to help, walked the dogs when needed and so forth). They in turn helped me when my snow plow broke…I didn’t even have to ask. This is why I like small communities. Imagine facing an EMP in the city. Without trust in the community, it would be like rats on a sinking ship.
Liz,
Long term is expensive. I can see why families undertake to do this at home. Unfortunately, women who have had daughters are at an advantage here. as to cost, I have to wonder how much of this is insurance. Old people fall out of bed and break bones. Hospital beds are high and typically are on linoleum floors. This is going to become a real issue as spinsters age.
I can imagine EMP. You wouldn’t be able to operate a grocery store. Most people pay with cards and the registers are dependent on computer informed scanners. I do remember the Loma Prieta quake of ’89. Ice sold out immediately. No one could get gas or bank until the power came back days later. We are less prepared now.
Liz
Well said, we lived in a small city, technically, but in reality it was an amalgamation of small villages united for services. It is no accident that when we faced a long term power loss that the community joined to help the most needed, or that there were people that existed to ensure success.