, , , , , , , , , , , ,

There’s a concept in the manosphere called, “the wall.” It’s basically defined as the point where a woman’s youth and beauty (and the powerful sway they had) have peaked and are diminishing.

At what age this happens can vary on a multitude of factors. For some women it happens early in life. (Think the former beauty nobody recognizes at her ten year class reunion.) For others, and less often, it comes late in the game. In some cases it can be a sudden change, in others a gradual slide.

Chances are no women completely avoids the wall (I wonder what Christy Brinkley looks like in person, minus the airbrushing?) but there are factors that can if not avoid it, soften the impact.

1. Genetics

Some people just age more slowly and/or better than others. This is why men often joke before marrying a girl, it’s good to take a long hard look at her mom to see what she may look like in 20+ years.  One can’t do much to change genetics except know the likely issues (tendency toward weight gain, wrinkle prone skin, etc.) and take steps to offset them.

2. Lifestyle

A gal I know who was absolutely stunning at 18 had destroyed her looks and appeal before she was 26 with a lifestyle of heavy drinking, drug use, and a party lifestyle. She seemed to age 5 years for every one. Sadly even after she cleaned up, the damage was done and she remains a shadow of her former self. Tanning, tobacco use, and other age-accelerating lifestyle choices can speed the pace toward the wall, while good habits established early in life can forestall it.

3. Attitude

I know women who are still the center of attention well past “the wall.” Even young men are captivated by them, perhaps not as potential romantic partners but their draw is unmistakable and not solely attributed to their physical appearance. They often share a good attitude — they are charming, man-friendly, bubbly, and seem to shine from within.

4. Character

Another quality such women seem to share is they have character — their identity and worth are not based solely on their physical appearance but on their personality, wit, skills, and integrity. They are much more than a pretty face or nice figure, and have other valued or desirable qualities that aren’t diminished by time and age.

5. Feminimity

Women who lean toward the feminine often weather “the wall” better than those who don’t. Kindness, meekness, gentleness, grace, modesty, goodness, manners, self-control, beauty, charm, and poise are attractive qualities in a woman of any age.  Often men describe such women as, “true ladies.” They are so rare in a crass and base world that they stand out, even when they aren’t trying to.

6. The “It” Factor

Women who remain very appealing long after youth and beauty fade have an elusive “it” factor that is very hard to describe. Men are drawn to them. Men fawn over them. Men seek them out in a crowded room. Men notice them. Men remember them fondly. Men enjoy their company. These are the type of women men just can’t seem to resist, and while there may be an underlying admiration or attraction, it’s not simply or solely sex appeal. Often the connection is completely platonic, almost idealistic. They simply like her and like being around her. Men feel lifted up after interacting with her, as if refreshed and rejuvenated from the weight of the world.   Such a woman brings out his best and highest masculine qualities, makes him want to be a better man, inspires him to build, create, do, and be all he can. When the draw is romantic, fortunes, empires, legends, monuments, and masterpieces have been made or built because of and for such women.

What do you think? Do you know or have you ever met a woman who seems to avoid the wall? Please share in the comments.

(p.s. this article does not mean to deny the wall or even say women who weather it well have the same appeal in middle age and beyond as they did in youth. It’s just something I see now and again, certainly not often, and so I wanted to write about it to encourage women to try and be a woman like that. While some of it is luck, much of it can also be cultivated.)