As you may or may not know, this blog came out of my stumbling across the manosphere, listening what to these gruff and sometimes grouchy men had to say, and then realizing that it was information being said nowhere else that women like myself and those I knew needed to hear.
And I also knew that most women probably wouldn’t be able to stick around the manosphere long enough before they got offended, or in an argument with the men, and rejected the message entirely.
Because guys see things in a different way, it’s almost a different language, my I’d ea was to take the information that the men were sharing and then translate it into language that women could understand, would find helpful, and would not reject because of the way that it was phrased or who was saying it.
I also wanted this to be a welcoming space for male readers, just as they so graciously allowed me to hang around the “men only” manosphere and answer my million questions and not just run me off. Maybe I (and we) can give them some insight into the female brain, just like they gave me insight into the male brain.
And here I am, I don’t know how many years later, 6 or 7 years later, and I find myself writing less not because I don’t care about this anymore or I don’t believe in these things anymore but because I really feel like I rarely have something new to say that I haven’t said before.
If you are new here I would encourage you to dig back to the beginning of time and read from the bottom up or just poke around and read stuff as you see fit or use the search box and find things that you have questions about. There’s a lot of information here.
Today I was thinking about this concept of how girls just want to have fun and how it’s both an upside and a downside.
But for better or for worse it is the way the Creator has designed woman, and I truly think the world needs their levity when it is a positive force. The feminine nature is at its best inspirational and what makes civilization get built by men who like these silly happy creatures and making them happier.
But it can be also a huge blind spot and weak point for women who do not understand it themselves.
The naturals and cads of the world understand this about women intuitively, and know that appealing to a girls just want to have fun nature is a big part of connecting with them.
The downside to this of course is that women often get involved with the wrong kind of man, the love ‘em and leave ‘em cad, just because he’s witty or charming or knows how to talk to women and “be fun.”
In the past the man in a woman’s family would sort that out because they can see it better than women can and they would runoff the men that had bad intentions and not let them get close to their precious women They were trying to protect and wanted good future’s for.
Along came feminism which told women these men are trying to control you and you should be able to make your own choices.
It all sounds good but it’s kind of like Eve and the Apple. And what seems harmless can cause great harm indeed, including to her. Although she may be having so much fun at the time she doesn’t notice.
But if you look around and you observe how many women are being used and misstreated and ditched and hurt because of this, you will see the obvious downside and how it’s really not that fun except initially.
So ladies remember girls just wanting to have fun can have drawbacks. So make sure you’re sticking to the good fun side of things.
And to any men folk reading here I would say remember girls just want to have fun and so if you can somehow couch your interactions with them in the guise of fun you will probably find it is very effective, indeed! It’s like catnip! Use this knowledge well and wisely and for good.
Goodness knows with everything else that’s going on in the world we could all use a little more fun in our lives. Just make sure it’s of the productive sort.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
RPG,
I think much of the “girls just want to have fun” nature comes from being geared towards taking care of small children. Children want to play often, and much of their best learning comes through play. Women seem, at least to me, to be much more wired towards this interaction than are men. We “gruff and sometimes grouchy” folk are less apt towards entertaining and growing very young minds than are the playful spirits on the feminine side.
excellent post, Bloom.
as my daughters are young adult / college age, i’m in a place of observing other kids/parents. what surprises me is the emotional and instructional hands-off pov parents take when their daughters graduate from high school. it’s like they’re throwing their daughters out to the wind and hope they turn out okay.
i think this actually begins earlier, though, with the mindset that we need to allow our children to become who they *want* to become. this is dangerous as our brains are not fully developed until our 20’s-30’s.
it’s like parents have totally abdicated their role to … the feelings and desires of their children.
a (Christian, married) mom i know who is in her early 30’s with a preschooler made a comment sometime back that they shouldn’t be brainwashing their child. what they were telling her was true. i told her it’s not brainwashing to tell your kids the truth.
that was a very perplexing pov, and i wonder if it’s prevalent in that generation … that we cannot teach and instruct and direct our children, especially our daughters, in the truth b/c if we do, it’s brainwashing. how ludicrous.
Unfortunately what you are suggesting is what we call captain save a hoe. Where I have to make sure that she is entertained. Being happy fun guy is attractive, but it should be WHO you are as a man NOT what you do to get the girl. I am not here to entertain someone. I have a purpose and direction for my life. She can come along or not. Her choice. It’s a brave new world. I just live here.
I stopped sending paragraphs, stopped begging, I stopped telling people how to treat me, and started walking away, blocking, and distancing myself. Life may be lonely at times but it’s peaceful. Sometimes being alone in life is better than being surrounded by halfass people where I have to talk them into staying, remind them of my value,
my love is unconditional, but your presence in my life is not. The moment that you prove that your value of me does not measure up to my
sense of self-worth, I’ll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of you and moving on.
You have said elsewhere you might not read this. FWIW I think you are a worthwhile person of some (seriously! 😉 ) unusual talent. Onya Bloom.
Somebody will have to link the video. It may as well be me.
It is just as awful as I remember. The problem with all this is that women have devolved to be the gatekeepers of sex and men the gatekeepers of relationships. Women no longer put a premium on relationships. In 1960, over seventy percent of adults were married. In 2015, it dipped below fifty percent. Rollo Tomassi predicts that half of all women age thirty five in 2030 will be never married and childless. Nothing like this has happened since Adam had issues with Lilith and that took Divine Intervention to solve.
The manosphere is dying along with hope that women can be persuaded to be socially supportive.
Sorry RPG, you tried. They see advantage in what they do and every institution supports them in this.
Grown up girls want to have the fun without the work. (Premade structures instead of building a house)
I wonder if I have misunderstood… or if my wife is better than the average (Western) woman by an amount larger than what I previously thought.
Prior to marriage, I never promised her a fun time. In fact I told her we would have problems, we just did not know yet what they would be.
We did have some laughs and enjoyment together, but I never took her to a carnival, bar, sporting event or concert. I was offering life with me; not a full-time entertainment director.
And she still married me. And is now focused on wanting us to spend time together.
Per Proverbs 31, a good wife is to be praised… and is also rarer than rubies.
i’m reading two different perspectives on ‘fun’ … or i think i am.
the men see it as girls being flippant and frivolous and only wanting what they want.
i saw the post as girls wanting to make things as fun as possible, regardless of how difficult … finding the laughter in the pain, finding the joy in the work, finding the smile in the sorrow … and, like Okrahead mentioned, finding the time to sit on the floor and play with a child, in their world, in the midst of all her responsibilities in her adult world.
are there flippant, selfish women and girls out there? tons.
but there are some good ones, too, who find value in the beauty and joy and finding the ‘fun’ in life in the midst of … well, life.
when things are hard, would you rather come home to a wife who’s all serious and business? or would you rather come home to a wife who’s smiling and flirting and being seductive while welcoming you home, fixing your dinner, and climbing into bed with you at the end of the day? that wife isn’t ignoring the hard stuff, she’s finding the joy and smile and fun in the midst of the hard stuff.
if you get a woman like that, be careful not to snuff out that flame of life inside her. encourage it; don’t stomp all over it. she’s being vulnerable and open with you.
Grown up Girls who want to honor God, want to have fun while they work with their Husbands, supporting them, while building a life together.
Granted, there aren’t many of these kinds of women around, but they do exist.
The second half of Ame’s post from 8:06 above is excellent.
thank you, JPF 🙂
it’s a whole lot more fun to smile when my Husband comes home, to flirt with him, to curl up in bed with him and enjoy our time together, than it is to dwell on the harshness of life.
I’m sorry, no more unicorn chasing. We have all tried that. Then, we get to see what women are chasing and we kneel before the porcelain throne. Ladies, you have burnt through all the men who would care. Also, you have brought it home that there is little point in arguing with solipsism.
As an indicator of the manosphere, Hawaiian Libertarian has a blog aggregator that now lists posts a week old. Not so long ago, a post would list for the better part of a day. That is how few posts there are.
Girl, too many guys do not ever see those smiles. I was fortunate, but I know she was what is now known as a unicorn. Even 50 years ago, I was very close to becoming a recluse, becoming a hermit. Sure, I played hide the wienie on the weekends, but I had no hope of finding a decent mate. I got lucky, she always called it grace ;-D
You are trying to make two good ones I am trying to help create one ;-D
Bloom,
I saw your comments at Spawny’s, and can see that you are stressed.
Things may suck soon, but I know that you and the girls will be OK.
Since I’m too far away to give you a real hug, this is the best I can do for now:
{{{HUGS}}}
For my sons (I’m a middle aged, married dude, LONG out of the market).
Give examples of a guy being fun. What would a guy do, act like? Describe example scenarios/interactions that are fun for a girl.
There is a picture going around on Facebook of Kamala Harris walking next to a wall dressed in her business suit and casting a shadow on the wall of a nine-year-old girl. Blue pill me would have found the picture endearing. Red pill me finds the picture disturbing.
Roger,
You have a point. She has no claim to innocence.
cameron
1d ago
For my sons (I’m a middle aged, married dude, LONG out of the market).
Give examples of a guy being fun. What would a guy do, act like? Describe example scenarios/interactions that are fun for a girl.
that’s a great question. i’ll answer for myself … and for what’s helped my daughters through a rough life …
a lot of that is just bringing levity to life in the little things. laughter is healing and changes the chemicals in our brain.
it’s the simple things, i think … a walk, an unexpected hug, a little dance, singing, being goofy. making and remembering silly memories. taking time to ‘smell the roses’ and find the humor in life.
Fuzzie, Suzanne Venker’s Web Site and Facebook page have been helping me these days. I think that I can guess at what Suzanne Venker would say. She would say that Kamala Harris’s life path with her masculine drive for power and her decision not to prioritize her husband and children would prove utterly unfulfilling to the vast majority of women. (Kamala Harris is childless, isn’t she?) From men’s perspective Kamala Harris is unattractive as a significant other. In spite of Kamala Harris being married I suspect that she is completely incapable of being a man’s wife. She is simply incapable of having a successful, fulfilling relationship with a man. The image of Kamala Harris is profoundly destructive in ways that the dominant cultural narrative (a term that Suzanne Venker likes to use) cannot identify.
Roger,
It is beyond a masculine drive for power. She used sex to serve her ambition. Women like that less than men. Yes, she is childless, but she is married. I guess he stays out of the light. I guess that she is the feminist ideal.
Fuzzie,
It’s not who you know; it’s who you blow.
Roger,
That has worked for Kamala Harris, but nobody likes her for it.
Captain Capitalism hit another out of the park.
http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2020/11/making-it-illegal-to-pass-shit-tests.html
Suzanne Venker’s latest opinion essay, “Woke women are killing marriage and dating,” in the Washington Examiner is worth reading. She writes:
This is what feminist culture has produced: a generation of women whose anger and resentment toward men and marriage precludes them from not only having a sense of humor but from acquiring any critical thinking skills.
There’s no middle ground anymore, no place for cogent conversation. It’s just hate.
I read it, brief and worth while. I like Suzanne, but have the feeling that tradcon women are out to see women succeed and men support. Here is the link.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/woke-women-are-killing-marriage-and-dating
She makes a good point. Women’s expectations are sky high. They can’t begin to accept a man they can live with.
Roger,
I think you are right. It’s all about hate ans how can a man with good intentions combat that? Women are going to crash the sexual marketplace and end up crying in their beer, that they pay for.
Two hours ago Suzanne Venker posted this on her Facebook page:
To the men on this page who offer nothing but “Don’t get married!”: I’m going to ban you if you continue. I’m done reading that.
So far she has 128 comments. I got banned weeks ago.
Take the fun angle you’ve written about, combine it with the “me me me” attitude of Western feminism, and what do you get?
Quite a number of irritating women who demand absolutely that men entertain them at all times, that’s what you get.
When the entertainment stops, apparently what’s often left is a mode of tribute-seeking, which then drives men away because it’s less awful to be away from such women.
And so if you want to understand this dynamic of Western men refusing to get involved with Western women, look closer at the underlying dynamics of how this “fun-seeking orientation” can be turned into something more sinister.
Just because you live next to a comedy club doesn’t mean your life is always hilarious.
Roger,
I can see why you got banned. Truth hurts. Add to that, women put a premium on tone and comfort over practical truth. I really believe this SMP has to get run into the ground before women see that they are at the root of it. The boys tried. We tried really hard. The girls thought they could burn through Chads the way Chads burn through girls.
Roger,
There is something else. Susan Walsh used to welcome comments from men years ago at Hooking Up Smart, but to appease the women, who made it all about comfort and tone, she ended up banning the men. So, it became a girl’s club and no woman that went there came away better prepared to deal with men, but the women felt real good about themselves.
Biden thinks Harris is his Kindergarten Teacher and they are playing ‘PRESIDENTS’?
Fuzzie,
You are exactly right. Two months ago there was a black matchmaker operating out of Florida, Letisha Underwood, who was part of a black single Christian women’s Facebook group. In that Facebook group Letisha started banging on about how women needed to be cooperative and let men take the lead in relationships. She was banned from the Facebook group.
Roger,
I can see that happening all too easily. They don’t want to be told to meet men in the middle. Years ago, I shared comments with a guy from the NYC metro area. His beef was that women wouldn’t meet him in the middle, literally. He had to deal with lots of bridges and tolls plus the time involved going to and from.
Ladies,
This is what you are messing with. In seeking an advantage over men in everything, this is what you are throwing away. Put your seat belt on before watching.
I don’t think that knowing French will help with understanding this.
Great video fuzzie. The following is what popped into my head while watching. Just a comment. Not a criticism.
Some may think that the “story” is in the interaction between the him-and-her lead singers.
The real story is in the interaction among the instrument players and between them and the conductor that are creating the music for the lead singers. That story is much more representative of real life – where nothing much worthwhile gets accomplished without cooperation and leadership among the many, of both sexes.
Be truthful. How much attention have you given to the instrument players and the conductor? The lead singers are that emotional, sexual, hook-up moment in the bar. But the instrument players and the conductor are the holders-together of a useful society. Neither the lead singers nor the orchestra by themselves would be as interesting alone as they are when put together with each other. But, if I had to listen to only one, I would prefer the orchestra and conductor without the lead singers over the lead singers without the orchestra and conductor.
Emoting in bar hookups is interesting for a while. But, sooner or later, one or both will need to leave that scene of emotion and go to the store for milk and dog food. Suppose on getting to the store, it doesn’t exist, much less the products in it. Which has the greatest impact on society: the absence of mundane stores and products, or the absence of the “sex sells everything” (even musich videos) approach?
Sooner or later we have to plow the field, plant the seeds, milk the cows, bring in the harvest, take said harvest to market. That activity which is necessary for the continuation of life and society works much better when there is a team involved: him, her, and the many kids. Such a team is not built by spinning plates. Find “Roosh” on Wikipedia for detalis.
@fuzzie said: I don’t think that knowing French will help with understanding this.
I disagree. But – the viewer is better off not knowing the lyrics. I assume fuzzie that you don’t know the lyrics, since you said this: In seeking an advantage over men in everything, this is what you are throwing away.. Ummm … yeah …
At least the orchestra will live to play another performane / plant and take in another harvest.
I just got to thinking about where your posts have been the other day. Came back to check and see if you were still here.
You could always repurpose a lot of your old content if you wanted. Put a new spin on it, etc. I’d miss reading your posts if you quit. But of course it’s up to you.
Fuzzie, I don’t recall Susan Walsh banning all men. Maybe she banned some people who couldn’t behave. I remember that much. There’s another site I wish would have stayed around. She inspired me a lot in my beginning writing journey.
RichardP,
Exaggeration in song seems to be a French thing.
You missed the point. It was about passion, and women are doing their best to kill it.
Ashley,
The men who stayed on, were these the men who agreed with her?
Roger
Suzanne Venker’s banning the “don’t get married” message directed at men is yet another example of how men and women still cannot discuss these issues in any meaningful way. Notice a lot of men at the FB page defended the “don’t marry” position. Most women could raise no real principled objection to that position. All that most of them could say, most notably Venker herself, is “It just doesn’t help, I don’t like it, and I’m tired of reading it”.
This particular issue – men saying to other men “do not get married” and a prominent woman taking umbrage at it – is because of men’s and women’s differing views on this issue. Men see the problem and find a way to solve it that benefits them. Women don’t like it and “it doesn’t help” because women view the “do not get married” stance as very threatening, and insulting, I think. I really think women are positively petrified of men refusing to get married.
But at the heart of it is that women are really taking “don’t marry” personally. I really think women view this as a personal insult, directed at them personally. To them, “don’t marry” translates as “you want men to hurt women” and “you just hate women” and “you’re a misogynist” and “why do you hate us” and the ever popular NAWALT and my personal favorite, the Sheila Wray Gregoire special:
–“but I am not like that, my friends are not like that, no one who comments at my blog is like that, and no one I know in my little remote Canadian outpost is like that!!”
Women really need to stop viewing everything as being about them, personally. Women really need to take an objective look at this and consider that maybe, just maybe, men have a point here. Women really need to stop being personally insulted and offended, need to stop FEELING about this, and start THINKING about this. Stop wallowing in your personal offense and start figuring out what YOU can do to fix this.
the irony of it is that most people, men and women, get married at least once. Men are not walking away from marriage in droves. Most men eventually get married at least once even if they’re forced to wait until their early 40s to do it.
Men: See a problem, and devise a solution that benefits them exclusively.
Women see that, and get afraid that it will affect them, and get insulted and take it really personally.
We saw this same phenomenon with the Lori Alexander post
“Um, hey girls! Men prefer tattooless virgins with no debt. And Christian men also prefer tattooless virgins with no debt”
Women read that, and they translated it as
“Men hate college educated nonvirgins with tats! You Men are saying that these women cannot be Christians! You Men JUST HATE WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD SEX!! YOU JUST HATE WOMEN WITH TATS! YOU JUST HATE GIRLS GOING TO COLLEGE! MISOGYNY! YOU WANT WOMEN CHAINED TO STOVES AND BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT! BACK ALLEY ABORTIONS! DEPENDENT WOMEN WHO CAN’T SPEND THEIR OWN MONEY! YOU WANT TO TAKE AWAY WOMEN’S RIGHT TO VOTE!
“I CANNOT BELIEVE that she said that and that men agree with this!! Any man who believes this is not a Christian, and is a horrible human who needs to die in a fire!”
You should see in particular InsanityBytes’ hyperventilating over it at her blog for the better part of a week. Sheila’s daughter went positively apoplectic. Women around the internet temporarily lost their minds over this.
A simple statement of men’s preferences exploded into baseless accusations of misogyny and hate, and accusing men of believing things they do not believe. It is as if women are telling men that they can’t have any preferences and if they do, they damn well better not talk about those preferences. Because men talking about what they want and prefer hurts the women folk’s fee fees, and we can’t have that. We can’t have women feeling bad because a man said something about what he wants and prefers.
Ladies: If you want to discuss these things, you need to accept that men want and need things too, and men are going to talk about the fact that they want and need them. Otherwise, we’re just going to find solutions and implement them, and there won’t be much need to discuss any of it. Which is a good part of why women stand around wailing “Where have all the good men gone? What happened? Where did all the men go??”
Answer: Away from here, because we tried to talk to you about it, and you lost your shit.
fuz
At Giggles’ site, a few men remained. It was only like 2 or 3. HUS 3.0 had a lot fewer comments and commenters, and the articles got more and more sparse. She eventually retired from blogging , her objectives having been reached: She got her kids married off (in particular her son), and became a grandma. She gave HUS to someone else, who let it die. It, and its content, are gone. Down the memory hole.
HUS 2.0 was concrete proof that men and women cannot discuss intersexual dynamics in any real way. Men’s interests and women’s are at direct cross purposes. For men to get what they want, women have to lose. For women to get what they want, men have to lose. Sorry, but for the most part it really is a zero sum game. There’s a winner and a loser, and for about 50 or 60 years, men have been losing. That’s a direct result of the fact that for the 100 to 200 years before that, women were “losing”.
Deti,
I think you have a point, but I have my doubts about the previous two hundred years. I think that all benefited. For me, there is little point in arguing with solipsism.
I don’t know if you saw it, but Aunt Giggles had a video on Youtube called Douchebag Math. She presented a good argument for women to “go for the Dads and not the Cads”. I think she had to delete it to satisfy the sensibilities of the HUSsies.
You know what? Let them go crazy. They’re on their own and they can pick up after themselves.
Fuzzie, I’m not sure. I know I’ve disagreed with her quite a few times and we always had good discussions regardless.
To add to the discussion on marriage, I know there’s PEW research that shows men and women have about an equal interest in marriage. I recently touched on that (and where have all the good men gone) in an article I wrote for a digital magazine: https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/where-have-all-the-good-men-gone-actually-theyre-everywhere/
Women definitely don’t need to be threatened by men who don’t want to marry. It only means that is filters those particular men and leaves a clearer path for men who do want to marry. However, it is important for women to not get into deep relationships with these men if she wants to get married. Otherwise, she’ll find herself as a forever-girlfriend with the chore of having to convince him as well as herself that he’ll change his mind. My advice? Don’t bother. Find someone else completely who is enthusiastic about marriage.
Ash,
She is gone and so is Dalrock. There aren’t many left. As I said before, a post could be up for a day on Keoni’s aggregator. Now, it can list for a week or more.
There is a blog that I visit that has a thread pretty much owned by Toronto incels. They don’t want to hear anything about getting the hell out of Dodge. They are that angry.
thedeti,
I want to point out the problem one level deeper. (I am not even talking about the deeper levels.) If the discussion of marriage were a simple zero-sum game, the problem of pair bonding between Western men and women has been solved. A solution, which doesn’t work but which has been implemented anyway, attempted to solve the problem the old-fashioned way: Men sacrificed themselves for the benefit of women.
Take me for example. Up until about four years ago I was a middle-aged blue-pill cuck simp Captain Save-A-Hoe. I was a Gen. X’er who had been raised by a feminist Baby Boomer single mother. I had never been married, and I had no children. I was desperate to pair bond with a woman, and I would do anything to end the loneliness. But it never worked. It took me reading Randi Gunther’s earth-shattering 2014 article in the Huffington Post, “Why Great Husbands Are Being Abandoned,” to understand why. In spite of everything that modern women say that they want, at the end of the day they want traditional gender roles and to be dominated by an alpha male. So when men do everything that women say that they want, it still doesn’t work.
We have come to a point in our society where women cannot be happy. And we cannot even discuss what might make them happy.
Men like me are the collateral damage. It is too late for me. I have walked into the sunset never to return.
I think that the collective answer to women from men is that men are withdrawing. Before feminism, the deal was hard, but fair. All the sweetening done since for women has soured it for men.
Fuzzie,
Men are withdrawing, but women don’t notice that men are withdrawing because women are only looking at the giga-Chads. Better Bachelor did a good YouTube video yesterday where he talked about this topic. He said that about eight years ago he started noticing that women at his level in the sexual marketplace were no longer responding to his emails. Better Bachelor then went on to discuss a magazine article where the author, a Millennial male, described the situation for so many attractive, college-educated Millennial females with good jobs. The author wrote about attending a birthday party where all of the women in attendance were attractive, college-educated Millennial females with good jobs, and all of those women were single as fxxx. The author tried to soften his message to the birthday girl by explaining that her Mr. Perfect might be too hard to find and that there were plenty of men who were in the good-enough category. The birthday girl said that she would never forgive herself if she settled. The author predicted that over the next decade each of these Millennial women will see her fertility window close and miss the opportunity to have a family. These Millennial women will grow bitter as they age. They will go to their graves blaming the giga-Chads for not committing to them.
Roger,
All that you said is true. The problem is that men can do nothing to influence the situation. All the women believe that they are SMV rank of giga-Chad. I blame online dating for a lot of it.
The question is, what do the men who aren’t giga-Chads do? Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, and render unto God that which is God’s.
The one thing that I have to hand to feminism is that they are very good at creating Karens. These things, while outwardly feminine, produce nothing except misery for others. If I feel lonely, all I have to do is watch a few Karen videos and I am content in my solitude.
Karens are usually miserable 45 year old soccer moms. I see them all the time holding up the lines at Target bitching about coupons as make out their checks.
They are everywhere and they manage to get in line ahead of all of us. However, they wouldn’t be that way if they were getting regular sex. That is the real price of bending the knee to feminism and rebelling against God and nature.
Kilts laugh/joke now.
Not so much if fan bus to euros falls off cliff!
You reminded me why men like to stay out of retail stores. There is always one of these check writing, coupon clipping, short haired celibate bitches ahead of us. We are reminded that they get to write checks while their sex starved husbands make deposits. Please hand me a paper bag. I’ll yell “KAREN!!!!” into it and open it outside.
Hell no.
I like Suzanne Venker even though she blocked me on Facebook. That’s just par for the course these days. But this time she has crossed the line. Her latest article gives advice to a twice-divorced thirty-year-old physician’s assistant with no kids. What does she tell her advisee, who has already proven twice that she can’t get along with a man and that she isn’t wife material? Venker tells her advisee to withhold sex and make her new boyfriend jump through more hoops. Raise the bar.
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/marriage-minded-women-are-in-desperate-need-of-dating-advice-here-you-go
Cue the music: “Oh. Hell! To the No-No-No.”
It is this kind of dating advice that makes it certain that Roger Blakely will never ask a civilian out on a date again.
Roger,
I read it and Suzanne got blasted in the comments by men. A tactic like this will drive men from the sexual marketplace because they won’t allow themselves to be manipulated by sex. Women can’t help but step in it.
I actually dated and kept in touch with a woman that tried this trick. No sex until marriage, no marriage until after a year’s engagement. She had been married five times before and had been around the block a few times. I did stay in touch and she did find someone to jump through the hoops for her, but it wasn’t me.
Fuzzie,
There was a guy named Sean Justice from the UK who put it well in the comments of Suzanne Venker’s Facebook post. He said that spaces where women talk to women without listening to men are useless. The point that he made reminds me of why no one has ever seen anything like Kevin Samuels’s YouTube show.
I think that the points made by the manosphere are beginning to dawn on a fraction of women. Thousands of women are watching Kevin Samuels every night.Thousands of women are watching Better Bachelor.
One of Coach Greg Adams’ Facebook posts got 5700 comments, half of which were from butthurt women. He usually gets 50 comments on a post.
I can smell the fear. Thousands of women know what MGTOW means.
Roger,
They like presents and don’t like the idea of involuntary celibacy. Enough of them know that men are fed up this. Add to that, Christmas is coming and that means another holiday season without a boyfriend to be an arm ornament.
About Suzanne, she is a disappointment. She chaired the International Conference on Men’s Issues for Press Day in 2014. This may be the problem with being a traditional conservative woman. She can’t think up an original idea. In the end, she has to be loyal to the female herd.
I want to say something profound, but women believe they have the upper hand sexually, so it will have little impact. For a lot of them, this will be their third holiday go around without a boyfriend.
Hi Fuzzie
Saw a very large black bear drunker than a skunk climbing a neighbour’s tree to eat fermented apples, had to take my pooch and myself to alter our morning walk ;-D
b g,
Bears shouldn’t drink. It gets really embarrassing. We pass out in doorways and narrow hallways and people have to climb over us. I have heard the same thing happens in Africa with elephants. Their digestion is so slow that fruit will ferment in their tummy. It sounds dangerous to me.:)
Hi Fuzzie
Well, he was clearly a happy drunk unlike the equally impaired pair of the noisy Pileated woodpeckers squawking at the top of the apple tree ;-D
b g,
I would not want to be around him when the headache sets in. That would make him very grumpy. 🙂
Fuzzie
He was pretty fat, maybe he’ll hibernate it over ;-D
b g,
That is a happy thought.
I’ll just throw this out there wondering if anyone will talk. This took place in the provincial capitol, Edmonton, Alberta. The reporter is Keean Bexte of Rebel News and not a political friend of Rachel Notley, the speaker and head of the New Democratic Party, formerly the Premier (governor) of Alberta. I think this was a set up to get him accused of something. Fortunately, he had video evidence of the whole thing. I thing that Leah Ward, the woman standing next to Keean, is a raging feminist.
This may be small potatoes compared to what is going on with the Presidential election, but a little diversion is a good thing.
RPG,
Vox Day picked up the story too. You can use this over at Spawny’s.
http://voxday.blogspot.com/2020/12/biden-delta-26-percent.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2Fvoxpopoli+%28Vox+Popoli%29
About Venker’s article. I don’t see what the big issue is. Sexual boundaries and standards are a good thing, even when you’re over 30 and divorced. The right man will not see a problem with this.
Ashley,
You can’t see it? Her advice basically boils down “treat him like a beta schlep.” It is the typical lane changing maneuver that women make to lock down a beta who she turns into a slave that she ends up frivorcing once the kids are in school.
We’re not falling for it anymore.
What is really annoying is that the would be husband and father is put off for sex while her earlier boyfriends got it on the first date. There is a certain lack of respect there.
I haven’t linked a video in a long time. This is from Better Bachelor and it reinforced why he does this. The bachelorette looks great in a slinky dress, but the guy had to find out what she was really made of. Lucky for him that he has to think about the welfare of his daughter from a wicked stepmother. He dodged a bullet.
Dalrock is right. Men have to think about the children not yet born.
Thank you, Fuzzie. I was going to offer to hold your hat while you took on the task. I couldn’t bear to do it myself.
Ash is a normal American woman. The fact that she asked the question tells me that there is no hope for American men and women to come together. Fuhgeddaboudit.
Roger,
Ashley is not normal. She is quite far from it because she is good looking. As for her oversight, there are none so blind as those who will not see. I dated a woman in the next town over that claimed to be Christian and would not have sex before marriage. She had been married five times before and admitted to having sex on the first date. She also wanted the engagement to last a year. I bowed out but stayed in touch. She found someone.
I think that Helen Smith had it right with her 2014 book, Men On Strike. I think that is what we have to do.
I have had a chance to sleep on it. It is pointless to argue with solipsism. That is another reason that men are walking away from the sexual marketplace. It is not going to get better until women hit bottom. Maybe it will happen with one woman getting frustrated with opening a pickle jar?
You aren’t required to date a woman with sexual boundaries after her having already been married, but there are still men who would. I’d much prefer them over guys like better bachelor.
Ashley,
You still don’t get it. Women set up boundaries for betas. There are no boundaries for alphas. If a guy runs into boundaries, it is a definite clue that his interest has filed him under a beta heading and that he should move on.
This is not to say that women can’t have boundaries. It is to say that women have abused the process and men are going to react rationally.
A relationship with no boundaries isn’t going to be a healthy one.
Do you remember my story about the woman married five times? She set boundaries. She told me that she talked to someone that followed through with a woman that said “no sex until marriage”. He found out that there was no sex after marriage. That story from her convinced me to not take her seriously. She ended up marrying the next man that came along, a familiar pattern.
If you’re setting boundaries to set boundaries, you are trying to dominate the relationship. That won’t work either.
Ash is a pretty woman. However, her attitude toward men, which is the dominant attitude that American women have toward men, makes her as attractive as a tarantula. In her solipsism Ash is not noticing that men have started hoisting boundaries in ways that civilization has never seen.
It is interesting to compare our (Fuzzie’s and mine) reactions to Ash’s views today versus what they would have been six years ago. Six years ago I would have felt compelled to engage with Ash. Today I can’t be bothered to do it, and Fuzzie can barely be bothered to do it.
Consider Viking Traveler on YouTube. The titles to his videos go something like this:
Dating in Germany is a dumpster fire. German men are fed up. German men are going MGTOW.
Dating in Sweden is a dumpster fire. Swedish men are fed up. Swedish men are going MGTOW.
Dating in England is a dumpster fire. Englishmen are fed up. Englishmen are going MGTOW.
Dating in Brazil is a dumpster fire. Brazilian men are fed up. Brazilian men are going MGTOW.
Dating in Chile is a dumpster fire. Chilean men are fed up. Chilean men are going MGTOW.
Roger,
Has he been anywhere dating is not a dumpster fire? Women have no idea what they are messing with. I think one of the reasons that the advertising industry does not pay that much attention to men is because they are loyal lifetime customers. Has Gillette bounced back from that awful ad of a year and a half ago? Women would like to have men as a fallback option. In the meanwhile, they aren’t treating us very well and lifetime habits are setting in.
Ash is good looking and I believe that insulates her from the reality of the marketplace.
For Ash particularly, but of value for all questioning current gender politics.
Here is a very interesting interview with Dr. Janice Fiamengo, pay especial note at the 19 minute where she admits her attraction to feminism as a young academic. This is a very intelligent and well educated woman but even she briefly but enthusiastically fell for the nonsense. Be afraid, be very afraid ;-D
LOL, I guess I should add the link ;-D
https://avoiceformen.com/video-post/interview-with-janice-fiamengo/
b g,
I saw it and liked it. Janice is very sweet and there are too few of them out there like her. She can think for herself and not betaken in by the herd mentality.
b g,
I think what has to happen is that women have to see that feminism is doing them no favors and is actually harming them. Once they see that, they will drop it like a hot rock. The problem is, we have to hit bottom before reality can st in. I hope that we are close.
Fuzzie
Janice taught at a university where I took my degree and in the same city where I took my diploma…the latter was much more difficult. I left the faculty of education because of the feminism and went into math and science to avoid the nonsense, and that was at least a decade before Janice was there.
My point was she is obviously intelligent enough to recognize the evil of sexual/racial quotas but not until she was in her late twenties, until then she enjoyed her sense of being victimized, even though she was of course one of the most privileged group that has ever existed. Be afraid, be very afraid ;-D
b g,
I have heard her talk on that matter before. It was really in her face. They were sidelining exceptional male applicants to hire mediocre women. Not good. She knew some of the exceptional men. Feminism has made a lot of enemies, Consider divorced men.
Women will never watch this. It runs over an hour, but I wish that I had seen it before I spent any time with online dating. For a lot of men, they try online dating and just throw in the towel. If any women are interested in what men go through and what they are thinking, this might be an hour well spent.
http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2020/12/men-need-to-quit-online-dating.html
Fuzzie,
This was one of the best YouTube videos that Aaron Clarey has ever done. He is promoting his new book, The Book of Numbers, which analyzes the return on investment of pursuing women. He says that his book won’t take the pain away. It will at least ease men’s minds with the knowledge that there was never any hope. Men need to stop beating themselves up. “A family was never in the cards for your generation,” he says. For Aaron there is no going back to second-guessing himself on his dating practices. Aaron says that he is going to make the best of whatever life he has left without making women a priority. This is the path for modern men.
Roger,
The painful part for men to accept is that they have no control in this matter and did not contribute to this. It is all female originated and driven.
He has a new video out that I will not link. It essentially boils to the women have all got on the feminist train and it is headed over a cliff. All we can do is stand by an wave. It runs an hour and twenty two minutes.
Christmas animal video. Merry Christmas!
Aaron Clarey has another video It runs two hours and forty six minutes and it discusses why feminists date. I won’t link and I don’t think that I will watch. The reason they date is that attraction is currency to women. That is why internet dating is such a failure for men. Women are satisfied with the attention knowing that they are attractive.They have no intention of taking it further.
I think that it is rich that we live in an era when men are shamed for having given women exactly what they said that they wanted and yet women still refuse to contemplate giving men what they have been asking for consistently. Women said that they wanted men to step back and support women while women played the dominant role. Men did that. Now we are shamed for having done that. Okay, that didn’t work. If we want to end the gender war, let’s go back to what works. Women need to be fit, feminine, and cooperative (Kevin Samuels’s phrase). All men ever wanted was for women to be fit, feminine, and cooperative. What do we get from women? What we get from women is their utter refusal to be fit, feminine, and cooperative. And let’s not pretend that they don’t understand. Women understand perfectly well what they need to do. They simply refuse to do it. And so Aaron Clarey is right. All we can do is wave goodbye to women as they fall to their death.
Roger,
You make a good point. We did give them everything they asked for. Now they are miserable and it is all the boys’ fault.
I did watch an hour of Aaron Clarey’s video. He does make a few choice observation but not at the level to which I have come to expect.
Be afraid, be very afraid!
https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/no-families-no-children-no-future-lgbt-30-percent-carle-c-zimmerman/
b g,
I read it. The problem is that all of this originates with women and is bought into by women. Men have no0 ability to influence. It may only only be a cultural “fashion statement”. What I see happening is that men and women will distance even further from each other. You’ll see communities where there are no men.
And God saw that there was no help for Adam. And God said “it is not good that man should be alone. I will make a help for him”. And God made a “help” that would force Adam to choose between her and God.
And Captain Industrialist saw that the “help” God made was overwhelmed with the work of helping Adam (the job for which she had been created). And so Captain Industrialist created all the devices that the “help” needed in order to get out from under the burden of helping Adam. And so the “help” was left with little to do that would enable her to fulfill the purpose for which she was created. And so she was bored, and without purpose. And so she created feminism.
And Master Government saw that Adam was overburdened with providing for the “help” that God had created for him. And so Master Government created all kinds of programs to sustain the “help” so that Adam would not have to. And so the “help” vigorously proclaimed “free at last; free at last; thank God I’m free at last”. (Kinda curious, that bit about thanking God for freeing her from that life for which she had been created.)
And so, the “help” ended up with what she had craved for for forever: freedom from having to help Adam, resources from Master Government which she could spend however she pleased, and freedom from the burden of house, home, family, and children. Ahhh, she sighed. Life was good. Actually, it was gooder than life in the garden, from which she had been expelled because of her behavior.
Oh, wait …
Note – either God inspired the Bible, and told Eve what would be. Or the Bible is the text version of stories that had been told verbally for thousands of years and which represents the wisdom of what folks had found true about human nature and life over that period of time (what was, and so will be). Whichever way we look at the Bible, we ignore the truth it contains about how life actually is at our own peril.
Fuzzie
Yeah, and I am old enough to remember when the sexes actually liked each other.
b g,
I may be older than you, but there was always stress. However, nothing like we see today. I have a bunch of women living across from me in a duplex. The only time that I see guys over is when something heavy has to be moved.
Captain Capitalism wrote a good one. Why do women have to chase delusions?
http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2020/12/women-want-to-remove-physical.html