About

In time I will write more here, but for now I’ll just jot this down quickly.

I am a divorced single mom in her early 40s who has a great education, a successful career, and all things considered a pretty great life. But there is a big something missing. A successful relationship. After doing everything I had been told to do to become a successful “modern” woman, I looked around one day and realized it wasn’t working. Or at least when it came to men, I didn’t “get it.”

So I went searching for answers. And I found the Red Pill. I spent months reading everything I could on the topic, mostly written by men, sharing what they really think about women, dating, and relationships in a place called “The Manosphere.”  What I found was completely the opposite of what I had been told my whole life was “how it works.” Yet at the same time, all kinds of things that had never made sense, suddenly did. Almost all the advice I had been given on dating and relating to men, turned out to be the problem. And I got mad. And I fought it. And then one day, as I started putting it all together and combined that with my life experiences, I realized it wasn’t just a bunch of angry men. It was truth. And they were trying desperately to communicate this information to the women in their lives, with little success.

While I am still getting my mind wrapped around all this myself, I realized that if I didn’t get it, chances are a lot of other women didn’t either. So I started this blog to share what I have learned about the Red Pill life, and what women can learn from it, in hopes sharing my journey will help other women make sense of a world that’s not making sense, too.

(Update: I am now happily committed now to a wonderful guy. My single days seem done. But I have promised not to discuss “us” in this blog, so I don’t. Let’s just say things are going great and we have a Captain and Co-Captain style dynamic that works really well.)

A note about comments: Please keep the following guidelines (borrowed and adapted from another blog with great forums) in mind:

My goal is to provide an open-minded yet respectful forum for deep and robust discussions that reach to the root causes of what we’re seeing in society and what can be done. The focal point will be the dating/mating marketplace and intergender dynamics. Truth is what is most valued here.

I appreciate and welcome opposing viewpoints that help hone in on the truth–in fact, and chances are we will not agree on everything–but it is essential that conversations remain civil. Many of the topics will be controversial, so chances are passions will be raised and disagreement will exist. But under no circumstances will I tolerate direct threats, displays of hostility, or excessive abusive language. I fully intend to be as hands off as possible but certainly reserve the right to delete any comment that contains threatening material or that does not align with the overall goals.

While the blog is aimed at women, I welcome both men and women here, both as readers and commenters. I believe and that doing so will lead to richer, more well-rounded discussions.  Fact-based disagreement over ideas can lead to greater understanding of reality. I hope to spend minimal time moderating comments or disputes, and ask commenters to take a “let’s agree to disagree” attitude when views conflict or tempers flare. Thank you in advance for helping me out with that, as I barely have time to write the posts!

Please visit often, read, and by all means share your viewpoint!

Have questions? Suggestions? Feedback? Kudos? Hate mail? Drop me a line!

13 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hmmmm…so I’d never heard of this perspective before. And I could find the true definition of the word on your blog, just some statements alluding to it. I googled and found a little bit but everything kept referencing the matrix. lol. But I get the feeling a lot of feminists would disagree with this perspective. I’m wondering, for you or what you’ve learned or even reference a blog that explains this to me better…what would be the text book definition of red pill perspective. Thanks.

  2. @ marriedtoArod

    Sure! How it is defined is somewhat up for debate, as it is an evolving concept, but this is a pretty good definition: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_pill_and_blue_pill

    In short, the red pill perspective is to seek to look at life as it truly is and works, rather than how others say it works, how we wish it worked, etc. Much of what is discussed is the reality of men and women and gender and relationships versus what the larger culture says.

    So yes, in this light the red pill perspective examines the tenants of feminism (and other isms) and asks is all this true? In real life? It examines assumptions, questions them, looks for real world proof or disproof of such ideas. It can also be applied to institutions like government, law, politics, education, etc.

    Red pill thinking has called feminist theories into question, and gotten heat for that. Questioning the status quo or the dominant cultural assumptions can be threatening to many people who don’t want to question these things, or who have a vested interest in them not being questioned.

    So the red pill is in a lot of ways, a big debate over truth and what is true and what is not. That is often misunderstood, for example when it questions if feminism, as it being anti-female, which I believe after long examination myself, I don’t think it is, not that here and there anti-female things are not said.

    Those interested int he red pill are usually introverts who like to ponder deeply the meaning of life and other things that can in many ways never really be proven or disproven, only discussed, debated, and examined for the pure joy of grappling with the hard stuff.

    So if that sounds interesting to you and you can keep an open mind and respect the right of others to agree or disagree, and in that case agree to disagree, then you will enjoy the red pill perspective.

    I look forward to hearing what you think!

  3. Wow thank you for taking the time for a thorough reply. I am not a argumentative person, so maybe I fall into this group. I am all for women being independent and having the equality to do whatever a man does. But personally I just don’t feel the need to. I’m sure every feminist across the world is pulling a dagger out of their back right about now, but if I felt the need to send my kids to daycare and have a career I’d be supported and if I wanted to stay home with them and bake cookies all day, I’d be supported. And by no means do I think it’s a step back into 1950. Based on your last post asking men their perspective, I don’t know if your red pill perspective is focused solely on relationships, so all of that being said am I on the right page? lol.

  4. Yep, married2arod, I agree, feminism supports women focusing on education and career but often marginalizes women focused on their marriage and children. So you could question, does that jive? Does that support women making their own lives and choices? I am not saying that all feminism is bad or the original idea of it was bad, but when feminism shames women for wanting to put their family before career, I question that as being “pro woman.” If that makes sense! 🙂

  5. I absolutely agree. Men to men, they are much for supportive of each other. But women we tend to judge each other much faster and harsher. And raising children may not take having a degree in rocket science, but it is the f-ing hardest job I’ve ever had.
    Ok, ok now I’m gonna have to follow you lol.

  6. Matthew Chiglinsky said:

    Not everything that feminism stands for is wrong, you know. I’m concerned you let those “red pill” jerks brainwash you. It’s like a cult. Your life doesn’t work, so you think these guys have all the answers? You think they represent all men? I’m afraid the “red pill” is on a slant that favors completely submissive girls who do their misogynistic masters’ evil bidding without ever thinking.

    There have been many powerful leaders in history. Hitler was one of them, but no good person has ever used Nazi Germany as a model for government.

    I get that you don’t like the blue pill, but I think we need a purple pill.

  7. Matthew I agree with you that not everything about feminism is bad. And I also agree that just being a submissive “yes” girl doesn’t make for a healthy relationship and especially is not a good idea if the guy is abusive. Can you describe what you mean by a purple pill view? What would that look like, to you? Thanks for commenting.

  8. Purple Pill ignores natural hierarchy, more Marxist lies. Being a helpmate is not being a doormat. A gentleman does not treat a lady like a doormat.

    Red pill = Nazi??? Let’s not be too obvious there, schlomo…

  9. lilac878 said:

    Hey RedPillGirl,

    Any updates on the Ladies Again guest post? I know it’s been a while, so we just wanted to follow up. Thanks and hope you are doing well!

    Lilac Blue

  10. Oh yes, sorry been busy otherwise, thanks for the reminder! I will email you tomorrow to arrange it! 🙂

  11. lilac878 said:

    Ok, no worries!!

  12. Here?

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