Category Archives: Sex and Such

A Banished Ballad

08 Saturday Dec 2018

Posted by in Red Pill, Sex and Such

≈ 83 Comments

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The Me Too movement continues to point an accusatory finger, this time at a cheeky and playful holiday song now deemed predatory.  News reports today say many radio stations and public forums are banning it.

Let’s have a look. Probably the best way to access the situation is to click on the video and then read along with the lyrics below:

Baby It’s Cold Outside

I really can’t stay (Baby it’s cold outside)
I gotta go away (Baby it’s cold outside)
This evening has been (Been hoping that you’d dropped in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice)
My mother will start to worry (Beautiful what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)
So really I’d better scurry (Beautiful please don’t hurry)
Well maybe just a half a drink more (I’ll put some records on while I pour)
The neighbors might think (Baby it’s bad out there)
Say what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell) (Why thank you)
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Mind if move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (What’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?)
I really can’t stay (Baby don’t hold out)
Baby it’s cold outside
Ah, you’re very pushy you know?
I like to think of it as opportunistic
I simply must go (Baby it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (But baby it’s cold outside)
The welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)
My sister will be suspicious (Gosh your lips look delicious!)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Gosh your lips are delicious!)
Well maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before) (And I don’t even smoke)
I’ve got to get home (Baby you’ll freeze out there)
Say lend me a coat? (It’s up to your knees out there!)
You’ve really been grand, (I feel when I touch your hand)
But don’t you see? (How can you do this thing to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my life long sorrow!)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died!)
I really can’t stay (Get over that old out)
Baby it’s cold
Baby it’s cold outside
Okay fine, just another drink then
That took a lot of convincing!
So what do you think? Is this a flirty and fun song demonstrating plausible deniability?  (Meaning she’s fine with it but she’s playing hard to get so she doesn’t seem too eager) or predatory creep pushing drinks on a poor, innocent, girl who isn’t into it but is trying to let him down gently? A patriarchal plot to teach generation after generation of young men how to trap and molest the ladies, player techniques passed on thru song?
What do do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

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Dark Triad Game

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by in Gender, Red Pill, Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 28 Comments

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A commenter suggested I check out season two episode 4 of The Crown on Netflix.

Well I just watched it and while there are many red pill moments, I believe he was referring to a really great example of dark triad game run on Princess Margaret, then the world’s most eligible woman.

The whole episode is good but it cuts to the chase around 37 minutes in, when the single princess shows up at a photographer’s studio, a man she met at a party who intrigued her with his bad boy vibe.

I’d highly recommend you watch it for yourself but his understanding of what makes Princess Margaret’s neurons flip is spot on. You can practically see her flinching from the tingles.

And it worked like a charm, because she ends up marrying him, having his kids, and bringing him into wealth and connections that help launch his already successful photography career over the top.

One could also argue how rather than be a moth to a flame Margaret would have been better off running for her life as the relationship soon turned into (surprise!) a disaster.

The two later have various affairs, get involved in drugs and heavy drinking, make each other miserable, and become the first royals to divorce since the days of Henry VIII.

Not surprisingly, the couple was celebrated as “progressive” and “real” and “bucking tradition” and “bringing the monarchy into the modern age.”

Despite the spin I do have to wonder, were the tingles worth it? For her? For their two kids? (who I wonder about, who was raising them while their parents were so busy being 60s/70s icons?)

The Dark Triad man is captivating indeed, thrilling and edgy. But there are two sides to him and what goes up must come down. Beware playing with fire, it burns.  The good times are usually far, far briefer than the bad.

What do you think? Please share in the comments. (And if you have Netflix, watch the clip!)

She Lives! And Naughty Lady Teachers…

16 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in Sex and Such

≈ 41 Comments

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Hi guys,

My sincere apologies for not writing more regular posts, lots of very good and very exciting things are happening in my “offline life” that are preventing me from being able to focus much on this. For now… don’t worry, it is short term!

So in the meantime, how about a post where YOU, the reader, tell me what you think in the comments about the following:

http://www.todayupfeed.com/high-school-teacher-arrested-allegedly-ex-three-football-players/

It seems lately there are more stories about FEMALE teachers taking advantage of underage students, than male. Why do YOU think they do this? What is the motivation? What is this really “about?” Are female on male student-teacher relationships different somehow than male on female based ones? Discuss…

I will in the meantime, mow, since the sun is out today and the grass is growing, growing, growing! 😀

 

What is Beauty?

16 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such, Uncategorized

≈ 84 Comments

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One thing I have learned from the red pill, is that men and women’s attraction triggers work in very different ways.

As far as I understand, it seems men’s attraction triggers are largely based on her physical appearance, an almost instant judgement of sorts. It’s a yes or a no, end of story.

Women on the other hand seem to have a multi-faceted attraction screen. A guy can be very physically attractive, but still strike out with the ladies for other factors such as personality, status, philosophy, etc. A guy who is physically less attractive can do well with women depending on other factors such as personality, status, likability, and so on.

Now of course there are those situations where women fall for the photo of a felon thug who is in all ways obviously not a good candidate for a long term partner, after all he is in prison!?!?! But that I suppose is an entirely other phenomenon…

From what I can tell, men and women often have different perceptions of what female beauty is or is not. And it is difficult as a woman for me to understand how personality flaws (bitchiness, shallowness, cattiness) could be overlooked, while the gal with the heart of gold who doesn’t have the physical package doesn’t stand much chance. But it does seem, from what the men say, to be the case.

So what is beauty? Is it as defined by Playboy magazine, for example? A very manicured, very unnatural, very high maintenance (although in its own way undeniably attractive) look? Does artifice attract men?

Consider the “Shannon Twins,” onetime girlfriends of Hugh Hefner who arrived at the mansion at the age of 18.  Do they look better in their natural state, or after they have surgically altered themselves with nose jobs, breast implants, and butt implants?

Before:

ga-twins2-jpg

After:

shannon-twins-01-435.jpg

I think they look better before, but again I am not a guy.

And perhaps it’s been said that men have a broader range for attraction than women do, or more diversity so to speak. So while the gals above may flip one guys triggers, they might leave another cold?

The two admit now that they had the surgeries because being surrounded by so many beautiful women all the time fed their insecurities to the point they believed themselves unattractive in comparison in a sea of “10’s.” And at a certain point it seems one would be splitting hairs trying to pick out the “most attractive” woman in a flood of beauties.

What is beauty? Is there an ideal? And if so, what is it? Feel free to discuss your thoughts in the comments, and remember what one person holds as their truth may not be so for another, so please respect everyone’s differing points of view.

 

Embrace your Femininity

20 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 107 Comments

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Over the past 40 years, traditional feminine qualities such as beauty, grace, domesticity, charm, chastity, and being “girly” have been increasingly vilified in a similar way that masculine traits have been vilified for men and boys (but ironically encouraged in women and girls!)

Women and girls are told that acting feminine will lead to them being objectified, oppressed, overlooked, and disempowered. Instead women are encouraged to be strong, independent, self-sufficient, aggressive, tough, and more.

Well, let me let you in on a little secret — for females femininity and feminine traits ARE power! Yep.

And I am not the only one to think so. In fact this was reconfirmed yesterday as I listened to a podcast by a woman who bills herself as a “modern day courtesan.” This woman is in no way “red pill” and yet her message was similar — if you want to succeed in love and romance, be MORE feminine!

To clarify, a courtesan is not a call girl, escort, or prostitute (they sleep with men for money, any man, with no expectations of him beyond the encounter) and it’s not just about sex. A courtesan is a long term companion who is financially supported by her admirer/s, sometimes in an exclusive monogamous relationship or sometimes in a few non-exclusive but ongoing and long term committed relationships.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating a courtesan lifestyle, but I do think her message was dead on as far as feminine wiles being a core part of female strength, and one women should not be afraid of. Her advice would be just as appropriate to apply within a marriage or long-term relationship as in a courtesan one — in short, the path to happiness, love, and romance is paved with female charms.

Some of her advice? Be happy and light. Laugh. Flirt. Look for ways to bewitch your partner and draw him in. Enjoy adorning yourself. Dress well. Learn how to use make up and other beauty products to your best advantage. Don’t overwork yourself. Learn how to be seductive (not the same as slutty, the opposite actually!) Be mysterious in a good way. Educate yourself on current affairs and a wide range of topics so you can be a charming conversationalist. Understand you may draw a man in because he is initially interested in sex (not too fast, ladies! Anticipation is your friend), but you will keep a man by seducing and connecting with his mind. Study your man’s personal favorite female qualities and work those to your advantage. Don’t be pushy or demanding, but instead coax his cooperation and devotion with your feminine wiles. Wear pretty undies. Let him take care of you. Be a refuge for him, a place he cannot wait to run to. Forgo “broken men” who do not and cannot truly appreciate and love, love, love the feminine. Be a lover of the masculine, as well. Be the kind of woman he can’t bear to live without. And more.

It all sounded like good advice to me. What do you think?

 

The Trouble With Temptation

03 Tuesday May 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such

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Something that can get a gal in trouble quick is letting her “feelings” guide her way in life, rather than her values.

The antiquated word for it is “temptation” and it is old as time itself. Temptation has led many a girl astray.

And oh boy, can doing things you know you shouldn’t sure be tempting — but time and experience has taught me that even if it seems like no harm, no foul at the time, giving into temptation often (almost always, actually) has repercussions you don’t consider at the time.

The thing about letting what you know is “right” lead the way versus what you “feel” is that for the most part the concepts of “right” and “wrong” are absolutes (despite what modern society may say, there is a well known “top ten” list, btw) and doing the right thing may seem to “cost you” at the time, but it can pay off mighty well in the long run.

For example, when I was 14 I was dating a guy who was 17. (I know, I know… in retrospect that was not wise, note to other 14-year-old girls!) He would pick me up in his beautiful vintage hot rod and take me out and we would neck for hours. Wow did I like him and wow was that fun. But whenever he tried to push for “more” something always told me to say, “No, not yet…” and we never got any further than 2nd base (on top of clothes, mind you.)

Not that I wasn’t tempted, or he wasn’t either, but I had been raised with a value system that said I was too young, and I was. Even when other girls I knew were going all the way.

Well, after a few months of that he broke up with me. Soon after I found out that he had gotten another girl pregnant during the same time period we had been seeing each other. At 18, he became a father although he and she did not get together.

A few years later I ran across him at a gathering at a mutual friend’s house. He sought me out right away, and poured his heart out to me, saying how much he regretted not waiting, and that he was sorry about all that. I told him no problem, and no hard feelings. I knew that he was already paying the consequences for giving into temptation (with her, not me) and that he had suffered enough, knowing he had a child he’d never really be a “father” to and who he very rarely if ever got to even see. I can’t imagine what a hard price to pay that must have been, on all sides.

But that time, they were not my crosses to bear. You see, not giving into temptation then saved me from possibly becoming a mom at 15. I am glad to this day I did not.

And don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a “bad” person. He wasn’t some cad, trying to hoodwink me. We were both making our choices and I knew full well what I was doing, and (luckily) what I decided not to do even though we probably “could have” gotten away with it.

Now I will not claim I have never given into temptation, of course we all have, but I can say pretty much every time I have done something I knew I shouldn’t, or very nearly every time, I have lived to regret it. It rarely pays off in the positive. Call it morality or karma or cosmic balance, but I have seen time and again it gets you somehow, some way, almost every time.

I will keep thinking on it, but I cannot recall a single time doing the “right” thing came back to bite me. Interesting.

Obviously, temptation can take many forms beyond sexual temptation. All are equally damaging (and it sounds almost naive to say, but also wrong!)

Living by the ideals of “right” and “wrong” may not be much in fashion today, but the truth is those lines are there to protect you, not to deny you. So the next time you are tempted to cross them, try remembering that you’re really only harming yourself and very often others as well.

 

 

Hot for Teacher?

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such

≈ 20 Comments

For those of you from generation X, like myself, you may remember this very popular Van Halen song:

It’s a somewhat common cultural norm to assume that teenage males would be more than happy to get it on with their “hot” teacher, while the same age girl having a sexual relationship with a male teacher (even a “hot” one) would automatically be viewed as child molestation, always.

Hummm…let’s think about this…

A 15-year-old male high school student in LA who had such a “relationship” with his female teacher recounted this about the experience:

Yeh and the student first had sex when they went to his place to play video games, the student claimed.

“She started rubbing my face, calling me cute, handsome,” the teen told KTLA. “She started kissing me and from there we had sex.”

The teen said the summer affair didn’t turn out to be his idea of an exciting romance.

“Eat, go somewhere, come back, have sex,” he told the station. “I didn’t feel like I was in a relationship. I felt like I was kind of obligated.”

Sounds more like coercion/sexual assault than male fantasy come true to me.

Here is the teacher:

HotforTeacher

Often such cases are laughed off, or people might say the boy “got lucky” if the teacher is good looking. And it reveals a seldom discussed taboo — the belief that men (or boys) can’t be molested/sexually taken advantage of/raped by a woman.
But women can be molesters, can’t they? Women can abuse power too, can’t they? Is it really any different? Shouldn’t these female teachers get the book thrown at them just the same as a male teacher would (sex offender registry and all?)
Personally, I would argue it is an abuse of power just the same as if a male teacher did the same with a 15-year-old female student and that both should be held to the same standard of prosecution and punishment.
Actually it is surprising how many of these cases have come to light in recent years. It seems to me even MORE cases than male teacher/female student ones. Perhaps some of our commenters remember the cases and can provide links?
Double standards — good for the goose, good for the gander? Good for the goose but not for the gander? Sound like we need to make cooked goose both ways?
(As an aside, my own sixth grade teacher, a thin and fairly attractive (but quickly aging) blonde single mom in her 40s but with an icky cougar vibe, wore skin tight jeans and skimpy tank tops to class every single day. While I never heard any allegations of her getting it on with male students, she most certainly did toy with them and their emerging hormone-fueled sex drive, likely for her own “wall denial” validation. I wonder now why anyone within the school district didn’t have a word with her about her – daily – ) inappropriate attire? )
What do you think? Is a female teacher having sex with an underage student child molestation just the same as a male teacher/female student, or not? Please add your thoughts in the comments.

Isn’t My Life Complicated Enough?

01 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 7 Comments

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I have mentioned this before in passing, but I wanted to share an idea that I have found greatly helps me to make better life choices.

I ask myself, when tempted to do something I know I probably shouldn’t, “Isn’t my life complicated enough?”

And the answer is always, “Yes, yes it is.”

The decision suddenly becomes very clear. Pass.

It also makes a handy line for when someone is trying to talk you into something you know you shouldn’t do. Like my old neighbor Hercules, when he made a quite unexpected pass at me one day in my kitchen despite his being married at the time, and my neighbor, and his wife was my friend, and our kids all played together.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s very attractive. We could have. Nobody would have known. And he was being quite aggressive in his attempts to convince me, not taking my initial “no” for an answer.

So I just said, “Isn’t my life complicated enough?” It stopped him dead in his tracks because even he knew, “Yes, yes it was.”

Awkward moment averted with no hurt feelings. And a complicated situation that could have (let’s be real, would have) been an absolute train wreck avoided.

When in doubt about a life choice, feel free to try it yourself. It hasn’t steered me wrong yet!

Let those who have ears hear.

 

The Virginity Curse

26 Tuesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such

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I don’t know about you, but back when I was a teenager (in the late 80s, egads!) there was this mentality that to be a virgin was some kind of curse or something, and the social pressure from peers was that virginity was something to be ditched at the first possible opportunity.

If you don’t believe me, just watch the teen movies of that era. In almost every one, there is a character on a quest to lose their virginity like it is some rite of passage.  Characters who are virgins are portrayed as dweebs or squares or horribly uncool.

When I talk to teenagers today, it seems not much has changed. There may be some here and there who are taking virginity pledges and such, but for the most part it seems the attitude that to be a virgin is somehow a bad thing remains. That “experience” is preferable to innocence.

Frequent commenter Artisanal Toad raised an interesting point on his blog recently when he brought up an Old Testament passage that says, to paraphrase, when a girl loses her virginity, in God’s eyes the couple is married for life, unless the father objects to the match. In either case the man is required to pay the father the “bride price” in exchange for the daughter’s virginity.

Think about that for a minute. That would mean every girl reading this who is not a virgin is actually still married to the guy she lost her virginity to! Even if he or she went on to marry someone else! Uh oh, if this is the case, that means there are many awkward conversations to be had! (And yes, this rule seems only to be applied to women losing their virginity, not to men, unless the girl is also a virgin and then they are married.)

I hope he won’t mind my reposting the diagram from his site explaining this rather radical idea under today’s sexual norms, for those who are having trouble following this  here:

marriage-chart

Wow. I don’t know about you, but I find that absolutely mind blowing!

Now I am not sure if this is the case post New Testament, and since I cannot ask God directly about the in’s and out’s of the fine print, I don’t want to split hairs over if this is or is not the case anymore. However if nothing else it does make me wonder, if women today operated under that assumption that whoever they choose to lose their virginity to would be their husband from that point on till death do they part, how would that change things? Would women still be in a rush to “get it over with” as soon as possible? Or would they be a lot, lot, lot more thoughtful about the matter?

In our culture, the current assumption by and large is that partners WON’T be virgins when they marry. Or even when they meet. Sadly, this is largely the case even among church going folks. I do in fact know several couples who are each other’s first and only, and who are still together and going strong, but it’s exceedingly rare anymore.

How sad. I know I will be encouraging my own girls to wait, to value their virginity and innocence, to resist silly peer pressure, and to wait for a man who is ready and willing to commit to her for life, someone who will love her, honor her, cherish, and keep her all the days of her life.

I hope other girls/teens/young women will also rethink this idea of the “virginity curse” and buck the trend. Wouldn’t it be great if our society got to a point where it was “cool” to be a virgin until one was married? That it was considered a special and sacred moment once more?

Because it truly is a rite of passage, which is very likely why the tradition of weddings became such a big deal. That ceremony is supposed to signify this Old Testament idea — that to lose one’s virginity = marriage. Yep! That’s what the white gown and the standing up and the father giving away and the vows and the big party after are all about. Believe it or not!

Obviously we as a society are so far from that, the idea almost seems nutty. But if you ask me, it actually makes a whole lot of sense! And if one is a believer, it’s something to ponder very carefully indeed.  I doubt God’s view of the matter has changed all that much.

In the case a believer has already crossed the line, I am not sure what the solution might be. Except to repent and sin no more. Like the bible also advises, if you can’t be celibate, find someone and get married, and spend the rest of your days happily knocking boot with your chosen life mate! Yep, it’s as simple (and complex) as that!

Let those who have ears hear.

 

My Fair Lady?

22 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such

≈ 47 Comments

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An offhand comment got me thinking the other day about the somewhat underrated and forgotten value of being “a lady.”

On the way to pick up some supplies, a neighbor who I hire to do occasional handyman type stuff at my place and I stopped at a local spot for lunch.

He started talking about the waitress, basically ranking her smv, but since he is not red pill he was just doing what came natural. As he sat there, speculating out loud about her assets (no pun intended) and liabilities, it was interesting to hear in real time how a guy accesses a gal’s datability and relationship potential.

She was brunette, not fat but perhaps 10-15 pounds overweight, cute face, dressed in black leggings and a tight black t-shirt that didn’t leave much to the imagination. It is hard to guess ages for me, but I would say she was in her mid to upper 30s.

I mentioned something to the effect of how on a 1-10 scale, I felt she and I were about the same, considering I was a few years older than her and otherwise we seemingly had similar but different pros and cons.

“Oh no, ” he said, with a shocked look on his face. “Not even close! You’re way above her.”

“What?” I said in surprise, then jokingly. “Just how do you figure that?”

“Simple,” he said. “Because you are a lady.”

“Awwwww,” I said. And truly, I was flattered. I try to be, anyway, as old fashioned as it seems. I dress modestly but attractively, act demurely, try to behave with decorum, and work to develop my character and personality.

Something I have heard said more than once in the manosphere is that while women will tell each other that nobody cares anymore if a girl cusses, is drama, is brash, aggressive, sleeps around, or dresses and/or acts like a slut.

A lot of women seem to be under the impression that just because for the most part other girls are OK with it, and are even doing the same, guys are OK with a gal being a so-called modern woman, too. If it’s good for the gander, it’s good for the goose.

Well, yes and no. Yes, if he is looking for a short-term or one time sexual experience with her, he’s all for her being “modern!” Bring it on.

But I’ve heard more than several guys, even hardcore players, admit that when it comes to true relationship material, they aren’t looking for a girl who acts like one of the guys or has sowed as many (or more!) wild oats then themselves.

Maybe all things being equal, men still prefer my fair ladies, after all.

Something to ponder, anyway. What do you think?