Category Archives: Sex and Such

Can You Avoid The Wall?

16 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by in Red Pill, Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 155 Comments

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There’s a concept in the manosphere called, “the wall.” It’s basically defined as the point where a woman’s youth and beauty (and the powerful sway they had) have peaked and are diminishing.

At what age this happens can vary on a multitude of factors. For some women it happens early in life. (Think the former beauty nobody recognizes at her ten year class reunion.) For others, and less often, it comes late in the game. In some cases it can be a sudden change, in others a gradual slide.

Chances are no women completely avoids the wall (I wonder what Christy Brinkley looks like in person, minus the airbrushing?) but there are factors that can if not avoid it, soften the impact.

1. Genetics

Some people just age more slowly and/or better than others. This is why men often joke before marrying a girl, it’s good to take a long hard look at her mom to see what she may look like in 20+ years.  One can’t do much to change genetics except know the likely issues (tendency toward weight gain, wrinkle prone skin, etc.) and take steps to offset them.

2. Lifestyle

A gal I know who was absolutely stunning at 18 had destroyed her looks and appeal before she was 26 with a lifestyle of heavy drinking, drug use, and a party lifestyle. She seemed to age 5 years for every one. Sadly even after she cleaned up, the damage was done and she remains a shadow of her former self. Tanning, tobacco use, and other age-accelerating lifestyle choices can speed the pace toward the wall, while good habits established early in life can forestall it.

3. Attitude

I know women who are still the center of attention well past “the wall.” Even young men are captivated by them, perhaps not as potential romantic partners but their draw is unmistakable and not solely attributed to their physical appearance. They often share a good attitude — they are charming, man-friendly, bubbly, and seem to shine from within.

4. Character

Another quality such women seem to share is they have character — their identity and worth are not based solely on their physical appearance but on their personality, wit, skills, and integrity. They are much more than a pretty face or nice figure, and have other valued or desirable qualities that aren’t diminished by time and age.

5. Feminimity

Women who lean toward the feminine often weather “the wall” better than those who don’t. Kindness, meekness, gentleness, grace, modesty, goodness, manners, self-control, beauty, charm, and poise are attractive qualities in a woman of any age.  Often men describe such women as, “true ladies.” They are so rare in a crass and base world that they stand out, even when they aren’t trying to.

6. The “It” Factor

Women who remain very appealing long after youth and beauty fade have an elusive “it” factor that is very hard to describe. Men are drawn to them. Men fawn over them. Men seek them out in a crowded room. Men notice them. Men remember them fondly. Men enjoy their company. These are the type of women men just can’t seem to resist, and while there may be an underlying admiration or attraction, it’s not simply or solely sex appeal. Often the connection is completely platonic, almost idealistic. They simply like her and like being around her. Men feel lifted up after interacting with her, as if refreshed and rejuvenated from the weight of the world.   Such a woman brings out his best and highest masculine qualities, makes him want to be a better man, inspires him to build, create, do, and be all he can. When the draw is romantic, fortunes, empires, legends, monuments, and masterpieces have been made or built because of and for such women.

What do you think? Do you know or have you ever met a woman who seems to avoid the wall? Please share in the comments.

(p.s. this article does not mean to deny the wall or even say women who weather it well have the same appeal in middle age and beyond as they did in youth. It’s just something I see now and again, certainly not often, and so I wanted to write about it to encourage women to try and be a woman like that. While some of it is luck, much of it can also be cultivated.)

 

 

 

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Why People Have Affairs

20 Wednesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 140 Comments

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Well I am sure none of my regular readers will be surprised by this, but the  college guy friend who reached out that I wrote about in two posts back tried to cross the line into turning our friendly talks into an online affair.

Thanks to the schooling from the red pill guys over the past few years, I knew this was coming.

And also thanks to them, I can understand what he’s feeling and why he would take this route. And I was ready when he did.

”Can I send you a picture?” He asked.

“Of?” I asked.

“I feel kinda silly,” he said.

“If it is inappropriate, don’t send it,” I said.

”Ok, sorry,” he said.

Then I said I understand what he’s feeling, and even what he’s trying to do, because I felt it myself when I was unhappily married. But that an affair was not the solution, facing what he’s avoiding, his bad marriage, is.

I know this may sound funny but a lot of times people have affairs as a way to stay in a bad marriage. I know that may not make sense but it’s true.

The affair distracts them from the problem and makes them feel good short term. But in the long run they end up feeling much worse.  And if the affair is discovered, it is hugely embarrassing and devastating for all involved.

My life is complicated enough, as I always say.  And I don’t want to enable him to continue to avoid his real problem.  And of course, I would never do that to my guy. Nor would I want to do that to his wife. Even if I was single. Nope. Not happening. Not even for the tingles!  (Sorry tingles, you never give good advice!)

He said he’s scared to be alone. I said well I guess it is up to him to decide is it worse to be alone, or to feel so stuck and unhappy he thinks of suicide as a way out.   And I reminded him, there’s the third option that maybe he can like Horseman did go from unhappily married to now very happily married.

I am actually glad he reached out to me so that  I had the chance to say all this. And to try to help him find a real solution.

I sent him the name and number of a male therapist I know who I think can really help him sort out how he got into a marriage he says he never wanted, and then help him decide what now? Not marriage counseling. Personal counseling.

Now not all therapists are alike and so going to one can sometimes make things worse not better, but I know this one well and I know he will give this guy good guidance. Red pill style.

I hope he calls him. He said he would. I guess time will tell.

And hopefully he keeps talking. But just like Hercules, the answer to anything illicit is now and always will be, “Isn’t my life complicated enough?” Yes it is. No need to throw illicit affairs into the mix, thanks, flattered, nothing personal, but that’s a NO.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

It’s a Guy Thing

13 Wednesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 47 Comments

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A guy friend I have known since college but had lost touch with recently reached out bc he’s going through a mid life crisis of sorts and is struggling with depression.

Why? He’s in an unfulfilling dead-bedroom marriage. Among other things. (He didn’t actually say the dead-bedroom part, but I can read between the lines.) He’s also tiring of pulling the plow. Without reward.

Then he said he feels bad because he’s attracted to other women and feels bad about his thoughts.

I told him Ton stories for a bit to make him feel better. I reassured him his thoughts were no match for Ton’s daily, and that it’s ok. Ton would approve of his efforts to think such thoughts.

Guys look at chicks and if the chicks are hot they probably think about banging them. I reassured him all guys (or most guys anyway, 98%) feel the same. It’s what guys do. It’s normal, even if everybody says it’s not.

He seemed relieved at the idea, completely blue pill and church raised good boy that he is. (Then I dropped the name and number of a guy counselor I know who would be a good person to talk to him about this bc I cannot. I figured Ton was unavailable lol. )

And yes ladies, surprise —  guys who talk to you probably want to bang you. This guy maybe wants to bang me (or his memory of me, lol!) Won’t happen, of course, but if he didn’t want to maybe I would think something were wrong. With me or with him. Because, like it or not that’s how it works. Always has. Always will.

Just like if a woman was not thinking like all women do about men, admit it or not, I would be shocked. (What they are thinking is a topic for a whole other post but it’s basically, “What are you offering in exchange? Is it better than other offers?” Real, or much more likely, imagined?)

Spoiler alert it’s either top-possible provision and protection or top-possible tingles. Ideally both but unicorns are rare so… just like it’s the rare guy who actually gets to (gladly) bang every woman he wants to with them also all being totally super down with that, no strings attached, most women don’t get their 100% list either. Um yeah. Most everyone else (M and F) settles for some version thereof they can live with. Supply and demand. Reality.

In short nobody says it but men and women have competing yet complimentary initiatives. It’s maybe “ugly” and “unacceptable” to some but it is what has built civilizations. Always has. Always will.

In fact without it, civilization probably won’t get built (let’s also face it as long as we are calling out taboos, mostly by men who want to bang chicks in exchange) at all. We are almost here now. Google MTGOW if you don’t believe me. Or Japanese herbivores.

Yep.

I doubt that any of that will be appearing on a “wuv u!!!” greeting card anytime soon so that is why we all have plausible deniability. Because if we all admitted all this, well that would ruin the romance! Wouldn’t it? Lol.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

A Banished Ballad

08 Saturday Dec 2018

Posted by in Red Pill, Sex and Such

≈ 83 Comments

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The Me Too movement continues to point an accusatory finger, this time at a cheeky and playful holiday song now deemed predatory.  News reports today say many radio stations and public forums are banning it.

Let’s have a look. Probably the best way to access the situation is to click on the video and then read along with the lyrics below:

Baby It’s Cold Outside

I really can’t stay (Baby it’s cold outside)
I gotta go away (Baby it’s cold outside)
This evening has been (Been hoping that you’d dropped in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice)
My mother will start to worry (Beautiful what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)
So really I’d better scurry (Beautiful please don’t hurry)
Well maybe just a half a drink more (I’ll put some records on while I pour)
The neighbors might think (Baby it’s bad out there)
Say what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell) (Why thank you)
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Mind if move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (What’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?)
I really can’t stay (Baby don’t hold out)
Baby it’s cold outside
Ah, you’re very pushy you know?
I like to think of it as opportunistic
I simply must go (Baby it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (But baby it’s cold outside)
The welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)
My sister will be suspicious (Gosh your lips look delicious!)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Gosh your lips are delicious!)
Well maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before) (And I don’t even smoke)
I’ve got to get home (Baby you’ll freeze out there)
Say lend me a coat? (It’s up to your knees out there!)
You’ve really been grand, (I feel when I touch your hand)
But don’t you see? (How can you do this thing to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my life long sorrow!)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died!)
I really can’t stay (Get over that old out)
Baby it’s cold
Baby it’s cold outside
Okay fine, just another drink then
That took a lot of convincing!
So what do you think? Is this a flirty and fun song demonstrating plausible deniability?  (Meaning she’s fine with it but she’s playing hard to get so she doesn’t seem too eager) or predatory creep pushing drinks on a poor, innocent, girl who isn’t into it but is trying to let him down gently? A patriarchal plot to teach generation after generation of young men how to trap and molest the ladies, player techniques passed on thru song?
What do do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

Dark Triad Game

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by in Gender, Red Pill, Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 28 Comments

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A commenter suggested I check out season two episode 4 of The Crown on Netflix.

Well I just watched it and while there are many red pill moments, I believe he was referring to a really great example of dark triad game run on Princess Margaret, then the world’s most eligible woman.

The whole episode is good but it cuts to the chase around 37 minutes in, when the single princess shows up at a photographer’s studio, a man she met at a party who intrigued her with his bad boy vibe.

I’d highly recommend you watch it for yourself but his understanding of what makes Princess Margaret’s neurons flip is spot on. You can practically see her flinching from the tingles.

And it worked like a charm, because she ends up marrying him, having his kids, and bringing him into wealth and connections that help launch his already successful photography career over the top.

One could also argue how rather than be a moth to a flame Margaret would have been better off running for her life as the relationship soon turned into (surprise!) a disaster.

The two later have various affairs, get involved in drugs and heavy drinking, make each other miserable, and become the first royals to divorce since the days of Henry VIII.

Not surprisingly, the couple was celebrated as “progressive” and “real” and “bucking tradition” and “bringing the monarchy into the modern age.”

Despite the spin I do have to wonder, were the tingles worth it? For her? For their two kids? (who I wonder about, who was raising them while their parents were so busy being 60s/70s icons?)

The Dark Triad man is captivating indeed, thrilling and edgy. But there are two sides to him and what goes up must come down. Beware playing with fire, it burns.  The good times are usually far, far briefer than the bad.

What do you think? Please share in the comments. (And if you have Netflix, watch the clip!)

She Lives! And Naughty Lady Teachers…

16 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in Sex and Such

≈ 41 Comments

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Hi guys,

My sincere apologies for not writing more regular posts, lots of very good and very exciting things are happening in my “offline life” that are preventing me from being able to focus much on this. For now… don’t worry, it is short term!

So in the meantime, how about a post where YOU, the reader, tell me what you think in the comments about the following:

http://www.todayupfeed.com/high-school-teacher-arrested-allegedly-ex-three-football-players/

It seems lately there are more stories about FEMALE teachers taking advantage of underage students, than male. Why do YOU think they do this? What is the motivation? What is this really “about?” Are female on male student-teacher relationships different somehow than male on female based ones? Discuss…

I will in the meantime, mow, since the sun is out today and the grass is growing, growing, growing! 😀

 

What is Beauty?

16 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such, Uncategorized

≈ 84 Comments

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One thing I have learned from the red pill, is that men and women’s attraction triggers work in very different ways.

As far as I understand, it seems men’s attraction triggers are largely based on her physical appearance, an almost instant judgement of sorts. It’s a yes or a no, end of story.

Women on the other hand seem to have a multi-faceted attraction screen. A guy can be very physically attractive, but still strike out with the ladies for other factors such as personality, status, philosophy, etc. A guy who is physically less attractive can do well with women depending on other factors such as personality, status, likability, and so on.

Now of course there are those situations where women fall for the photo of a felon thug who is in all ways obviously not a good candidate for a long term partner, after all he is in prison!?!?! But that I suppose is an entirely other phenomenon…

From what I can tell, men and women often have different perceptions of what female beauty is or is not. And it is difficult as a woman for me to understand how personality flaws (bitchiness, shallowness, cattiness) could be overlooked, while the gal with the heart of gold who doesn’t have the physical package doesn’t stand much chance. But it does seem, from what the men say, to be the case.

So what is beauty? Is it as defined by Playboy magazine, for example? A very manicured, very unnatural, very high maintenance (although in its own way undeniably attractive) look? Does artifice attract men?

Consider the “Shannon Twins,” onetime girlfriends of Hugh Hefner who arrived at the mansion at the age of 18.  Do they look better in their natural state, or after they have surgically altered themselves with nose jobs, breast implants, and butt implants?

Before:

ga-twins2-jpg

After:

shannon-twins-01-435.jpg

I think they look better before, but again I am not a guy.

And perhaps it’s been said that men have a broader range for attraction than women do, or more diversity so to speak. So while the gals above may flip one guys triggers, they might leave another cold?

The two admit now that they had the surgeries because being surrounded by so many beautiful women all the time fed their insecurities to the point they believed themselves unattractive in comparison in a sea of “10’s.” And at a certain point it seems one would be splitting hairs trying to pick out the “most attractive” woman in a flood of beauties.

What is beauty? Is there an ideal? And if so, what is it? Feel free to discuss your thoughts in the comments, and remember what one person holds as their truth may not be so for another, so please respect everyone’s differing points of view.

 

Embrace your Femininity

20 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 107 Comments

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Over the past 40 years, traditional feminine qualities such as beauty, grace, domesticity, charm, chastity, and being “girly” have been increasingly vilified in a similar way that masculine traits have been vilified for men and boys (but ironically encouraged in women and girls!)

Women and girls are told that acting feminine will lead to them being objectified, oppressed, overlooked, and disempowered. Instead women are encouraged to be strong, independent, self-sufficient, aggressive, tough, and more.

Well, let me let you in on a little secret — for females femininity and feminine traits ARE power! Yep.

And I am not the only one to think so. In fact this was reconfirmed yesterday as I listened to a podcast by a woman who bills herself as a “modern day courtesan.” This woman is in no way “red pill” and yet her message was similar — if you want to succeed in love and romance, be MORE feminine!

To clarify, a courtesan is not a call girl, escort, or prostitute (they sleep with men for money, any man, with no expectations of him beyond the encounter) and it’s not just about sex. A courtesan is a long term companion who is financially supported by her admirer/s, sometimes in an exclusive monogamous relationship or sometimes in a few non-exclusive but ongoing and long term committed relationships.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating a courtesan lifestyle, but I do think her message was dead on as far as feminine wiles being a core part of female strength, and one women should not be afraid of. Her advice would be just as appropriate to apply within a marriage or long-term relationship as in a courtesan one — in short, the path to happiness, love, and romance is paved with female charms.

Some of her advice? Be happy and light. Laugh. Flirt. Look for ways to bewitch your partner and draw him in. Enjoy adorning yourself. Dress well. Learn how to use make up and other beauty products to your best advantage. Don’t overwork yourself. Learn how to be seductive (not the same as slutty, the opposite actually!) Be mysterious in a good way. Educate yourself on current affairs and a wide range of topics so you can be a charming conversationalist. Understand you may draw a man in because he is initially interested in sex (not too fast, ladies! Anticipation is your friend), but you will keep a man by seducing and connecting with his mind. Study your man’s personal favorite female qualities and work those to your advantage. Don’t be pushy or demanding, but instead coax his cooperation and devotion with your feminine wiles. Wear pretty undies. Let him take care of you. Be a refuge for him, a place he cannot wait to run to. Forgo “broken men” who do not and cannot truly appreciate and love, love, love the feminine. Be a lover of the masculine, as well. Be the kind of woman he can’t bear to live without. And more.

It all sounded like good advice to me. What do you think?

 

The Trouble With Temptation

03 Tuesday May 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such

≈ 92 Comments

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Something that can get a gal in trouble quick is letting her “feelings” guide her way in life, rather than her values.

The antiquated word for it is “temptation” and it is old as time itself. Temptation has led many a girl astray.

And oh boy, can doing things you know you shouldn’t sure be tempting — but time and experience has taught me that even if it seems like no harm, no foul at the time, giving into temptation often (almost always, actually) has repercussions you don’t consider at the time.

The thing about letting what you know is “right” lead the way versus what you “feel” is that for the most part the concepts of “right” and “wrong” are absolutes (despite what modern society may say, there is a well known “top ten” list, btw) and doing the right thing may seem to “cost you” at the time, but it can pay off mighty well in the long run.

For example, when I was 14 I was dating a guy who was 17. (I know, I know… in retrospect that was not wise, note to other 14-year-old girls!) He would pick me up in his beautiful vintage hot rod and take me out and we would neck for hours. Wow did I like him and wow was that fun. But whenever he tried to push for “more” something always told me to say, “No, not yet…” and we never got any further than 2nd base (on top of clothes, mind you.)

Not that I wasn’t tempted, or he wasn’t either, but I had been raised with a value system that said I was too young, and I was. Even when other girls I knew were going all the way.

Well, after a few months of that he broke up with me. Soon after I found out that he had gotten another girl pregnant during the same time period we had been seeing each other. At 18, he became a father although he and she did not get together.

A few years later I ran across him at a gathering at a mutual friend’s house. He sought me out right away, and poured his heart out to me, saying how much he regretted not waiting, and that he was sorry about all that. I told him no problem, and no hard feelings. I knew that he was already paying the consequences for giving into temptation (with her, not me) and that he had suffered enough, knowing he had a child he’d never really be a “father” to and who he very rarely if ever got to even see. I can’t imagine what a hard price to pay that must have been, on all sides.

But that time, they were not my crosses to bear. You see, not giving into temptation then saved me from possibly becoming a mom at 15. I am glad to this day I did not.

And don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a “bad” person. He wasn’t some cad, trying to hoodwink me. We were both making our choices and I knew full well what I was doing, and (luckily) what I decided not to do even though we probably “could have” gotten away with it.

Now I will not claim I have never given into temptation, of course we all have, but I can say pretty much every time I have done something I knew I shouldn’t, or very nearly every time, I have lived to regret it. It rarely pays off in the positive. Call it morality or karma or cosmic balance, but I have seen time and again it gets you somehow, some way, almost every time.

I will keep thinking on it, but I cannot recall a single time doing the “right” thing came back to bite me. Interesting.

Obviously, temptation can take many forms beyond sexual temptation. All are equally damaging (and it sounds almost naive to say, but also wrong!)

Living by the ideals of “right” and “wrong” may not be much in fashion today, but the truth is those lines are there to protect you, not to deny you. So the next time you are tempted to cross them, try remembering that you’re really only harming yourself and very often others as well.

 

 

Hot for Teacher?

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Sex and Such

≈ 20 Comments

For those of you from generation X, like myself, you may remember this very popular Van Halen song:

It’s a somewhat common cultural norm to assume that teenage males would be more than happy to get it on with their “hot” teacher, while the same age girl having a sexual relationship with a male teacher (even a “hot” one) would automatically be viewed as child molestation, always.

Hummm…let’s think about this…

A 15-year-old male high school student in LA who had such a “relationship” with his female teacher recounted this about the experience:

Yeh and the student first had sex when they went to his place to play video games, the student claimed.

“She started rubbing my face, calling me cute, handsome,” the teen told KTLA. “She started kissing me and from there we had sex.”

The teen said the summer affair didn’t turn out to be his idea of an exciting romance.

“Eat, go somewhere, come back, have sex,” he told the station. “I didn’t feel like I was in a relationship. I felt like I was kind of obligated.”

Sounds more like coercion/sexual assault than male fantasy come true to me.

Here is the teacher:

HotforTeacher

Often such cases are laughed off, or people might say the boy “got lucky” if the teacher is good looking. And it reveals a seldom discussed taboo — the belief that men (or boys) can’t be molested/sexually taken advantage of/raped by a woman.
But women can be molesters, can’t they? Women can abuse power too, can’t they? Is it really any different? Shouldn’t these female teachers get the book thrown at them just the same as a male teacher would (sex offender registry and all?)
Personally, I would argue it is an abuse of power just the same as if a male teacher did the same with a 15-year-old female student and that both should be held to the same standard of prosecution and punishment.
Actually it is surprising how many of these cases have come to light in recent years. It seems to me even MORE cases than male teacher/female student ones. Perhaps some of our commenters remember the cases and can provide links?
Double standards — good for the goose, good for the gander? Good for the goose but not for the gander? Sound like we need to make cooked goose both ways?
(As an aside, my own sixth grade teacher, a thin and fairly attractive (but quickly aging) blonde single mom in her 40s but with an icky cougar vibe, wore skin tight jeans and skimpy tank tops to class every single day. While I never heard any allegations of her getting it on with male students, she most certainly did toy with them and their emerging hormone-fueled sex drive, likely for her own “wall denial” validation. I wonder now why anyone within the school district didn’t have a word with her about her – daily – ) inappropriate attire? )
What do you think? Is a female teacher having sex with an underage student child molestation just the same as a male teacher/female student, or not? Please add your thoughts in the comments.