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Ok maybe I am getting jaded, but who else is really buying this?

I know they are going for the feel-good story here. And for everyone involved’s sake I hope it’s true.

But her SEVENTH marriage and his FOURTH? But this time, of course, it’s different, it’s the real deal.

Really? True love forever (TLF) or is that too late fools??!!??? (TLF)

I suppose if nothing else, I guess it shows hope springs eternal. Even in my most jaded of thoughts on the topic, I hope I am wrong about them and this. But I would not bet money on it, so I guess not hopeful enough. Although at their ages the odds a divorce will be finalized before…. (wow, I really AM getting jaded!!!)

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Self elimination, lack of education


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I know a gal, super entitled, who married into a major land-owning family in my area. Like 500+acres owning.

The family she married into has already put their land into trust. Those who continue the line will continue to inherit what has been built.

Still she says she will never have children. Wants to get her tubes tied. Blah, blah, blah me, me, me! As she said all this, for his family’s sake I agreed — get those tubes tied! You go sista!

Because as she and I wrapped up a group business meeting at a local watering hole, she was already cozying up to a guy at the bar who was by every indication a total cad at best.

Her husband’s family strongly objected to the marriage and held it off even for several years. But she (and he) prevailed.

I find it tragic but also illuminating that rather than secure her position via future generations she seems hell bent on not only terminating that for herself but also her husband, who is currently the oldest son of the oldest son.

Hopefully  the cad boys will be there for her. But probably not.

When she bails I have a feeling the oldest son will find a more than willing life mate to secure his future line.

If he can believe in it then, that is.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!





A Red Pill Valentine’s


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Ahhh, Valentines Day. A day wrought with high expectations. I heard once more couples fight on Valentines than not. I am not sure it’s true, but if so it wouldn’t surprise me.

Many times Valentine’s is focused on, “What did I get?” Not, “What can I give?”

This Valentine’s take a different approach. Instead of picking apart your relationship, or the day, or having high expectations of the dozen roses and right restaurant and the blah blah blah, focus on the good.

Focus on how YOU can show love, appreciation, and gratitude. And the many things big and small you have to be greatful for.  Forget what’s missing, focus on what’s there. Everybody’s Valentines Day will be better off for it.

And if you are alone this Valentines, also try to focus on what you have not what you don’t. I bet there is someone you could show love to and for today even if it’s not romantic love. Doing so will make their day and yours much better than focusing on what’s missing.

Happy Valentine’s folks! I love you! Each and every one! Thank you for reading this! Thank you for all the wisdom and caring and concern you have shared, given, and shown for me over the years! I appreciate it and YOU!


What do you think about Valentines? Please share in the comments!

Another Marriage Done


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The other day I ran into a gal I don’t know super well and had not seen in awhile. I always liked her and her husband, a very striking couple with three picture perfect girls. They seemed happy in the photos on Facebook of them hiking, or in sappy happy anniversary posts to each other, or photos with the kids. She was active in church. Volunteered at the school. Seemed to have a very good life.

That’s why I was shocked to bump into her the other day and have her break the news they have divorced, but everything is good, and both are happier. I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to talk then but she wants to get together soon.

The youngest daughter just went off to college. (The mom is very attractive and young looking, my guess is they started their family young. She was in the Air Force when they met, so maybe she’s older than I think but… anyway…) I hate to predict this but my guess is she’s doing some version of empty nest, “Eat, Pray, Love.”

I wanted to tell her. Warn her. Advise her to go back and do whatever it takes to preserve her marriage. But I could tell by the hopeful gleam in her eye as she shared the news,  she probably wouldn’t get it.

I suspect, like many do, she thinks I love being a strong independent female.

I think she will be surprised. I wonder if I won’t be.

Very sad.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

Outrage Fatigue?


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Ok, I know I have not been writing much lately. But it’s not because I don’t feel the same, or don’t care.

It’s maybe because I am just slightly ahead of the post-outrage curve. Not peak outrage. More like —  I am over it outrage. Or maybe never even was outraged, except at the nonsensical outrage. Outrage fatigue?

Like facial razor companies complaining about testoserone? Um… yeah… awkward and obviously in so many ways — not a good strategy. But you go, razor company!!! Die on that hill, if you must. I’ve got better things to do.

Like live my life. Pardon me for not caring. I just can’t relate. I really don’t care about your outrage. Meh.

(Boys acting like boys?!? Girls acting like girls?!? Omg!!! Refreshing TBH!!!)

Anyway… here’s the link.

How about you? Over it? Outraged? Just discovering the red pill? Please share in the comments!

Name One Good Thing


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OK  guys — New Year, time to switch things up a bit so let’s do something different — instead of calling out the many things that are not so good these days, how about we each name at least one GOOD thing big or small, silly or serious, yin or yang, but whatever it is, something GOOD about your day, your life, the world, whatever! Go!

Ok I will start — preying mantis. Talk about cool! There was one on my porch the other day (they are not so common here, and especially in winter) and it looked at me and I looked at it, and I pointed it out to my daughters, and then they looked at it and it looked at them and I wasn’t sure who was watching who. If you have never seen one in real life, they are probably the closest thing to an alien I can think of and they seem to be almost zen in touch with the world, all knowing. And who knows — maybe they have it figured out better than an we do! And they eat bad bugs. That’s good, too! (And, I had forgotten but it’s true the female sometimes eats the male after mating, that is not good and was not why I choose this example! Sorry!)

This video shows another side to them we did not see that day, apparently they are little bada$$es! Who knew! See for yourself (I think even the Ton would think it’s good!)

Ok your turn! Please share in the comments. You are by no means limited to one good thing. Feel free to name as many as you want!

Can’t be black pill all the time, or even red pill, right?!? Lol!

Go! If you usually read but don’t post, I double dog dare you to add a good thing to the mix, too!


Wandering Through Smoking Wreckage

Not long after I stumbled upon the manosphere and the Red Pill, a (rather dour tbh) regular of the blog I frequented at the time said something that really stuck with me.

“We are all just wandering through the smoking wreckage.”

Yep.We may not have detonated the bomb, or had any say in the plan way back when, but here we are today, now almost 50 years later, wandering through the smoking wreckage.

The idyllic past is gone, if it ever existed,  anyway. The present is a s#itshow, pardon my language. And so? Now that we find ourselves here, now, like it or not, what next?

Well there are really three choices. Denial. Nihilism. Or facing and making some personal best of the tactical reality on the ground. Ok, choice four is some version of self-destruction, but I would not suggest it. So let’s just cross that option off the list.

Maybe you had a perfect childhood. Maybe not. Maybe you have the lucky golden path. If you are reading this my guess is you (like 98% of us) did not. And even if you had both, it still might not be working out. Welcome to here, now. And so?

Chances are you can’t change it much, really, on a scale larger than yourself. Maybe you can but probably not really. Or not because that was your main goal.

The opportunities are in the margins, as they say. So rather than trying to fix anyone else much less the world, maybe just start by making something out of the smoking wreckage for you and yours.

What that will look like is highly individual, but it probably involves some version of what worked for centuries before the “modern way” and your own personal situation.

For some it may be going your own way. For others it may mean some form of long term commitment on whatever terms (legally committed, or committed without legal terms, or something inbetween.) For others, it may be something that others don’t understand but that works for those involved. Obviously there are more possible scenarios than I can ever name here. You know your own situation, limits, negotiables and and non-negotiables better than me.

In short: accept the past path is gone, feel free to reject the current path that’s got a 50/50 chance at best, and sift through and build the best version of tomorrow for your situation as you can, from among the smoking wreckage and options realistically available, based upon your personal pros and cons.

Speaking of, if your personal situation is more con than pro, start there. Nobody can fix you or save you. Take responsibility for your own stuff. Figure out what hasn’t worked and why and what parts of that are yours and yours to change.  Understand. Make those changes. Be what you yourself would expect from others. Don’t expect it all but bring little to none to the table.

Its true that despite all that, things may not work out as you hoped or planned. But doing more than 80% of others are surely can’t hurt your odds of crafting a life versus blindly and naively hoping for the best.

There’s not much among the smoking wreckage to work with, true. But at least if you know what it is you are trying to achieve and then are actually, actively, and ongoingly taking steps to get there it has got to lead to better odds than dumb luck or random chance. Or in the very least will help you avoid what you absolutely don’t want.

It’s far from ideal, it’s true. But it is what it is. Accepting that and then making the best of it as you can based on the options available and within your control is really the only viable path I can see. Rebuilding from rubble isn’t ideal or easy. But if it’s rubble you’ve got, and sticking with that isn’t what you want, what other options do you have? Start sifting and build what you can, or forget building and accept your choice without blame or bitterness.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!




Hypergamy, to Music


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Happy New Year, everyone!!!

And now to celebrate, a new post!

Tonight a song came on the radio I had forgotten about, but as it played I realized it was hypergamy right out there, long before the Internet or the manosphere or the Red Pill.

For best effect, play the video while you read along with the lyrics: (Note the plausible deniability worked into the video storyline… as well as the, “SIW you-go-girl!!! Just like a guy, they do it, too — equality!” last verse — can’t be too obvious, right?!?)

Material Girl

by Madonna

[Verse 1]
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they’re okay
If they don’t give me proper credit, I just walk away
They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light, that’s right
‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right

‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

[Verse 2]
Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
That’s all right with me
If they can’t raise my interest, then I have to let them be
Some boys try, and some boys lie
But I don’t let them play, no way
Only boys that save their pennies make my rainy day

‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world

[Verse 3]
Boys may come, and boys may go
And that’s all right, you see
Experience has made me rich, and now they’re after me

‘Cause everybody’s living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

A material, a material, a material, a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world (uh uh)
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world

Thoughts? Please share in the comments!

Missing the Opportunity?

The other day I happened to have a rare half hour of free time and be near a national historic site all dolled up for Christmas, so naturally I popped in to get some holiday cheer.

The tour guide, a retiree aged gal, was happy to tell me all about the place.

Maybe 10 minutes in, a dad and two teens came in. They naturally folded into my not scheduled tour.

The house we were touring has been home to many four and even five star generals in its day.

At one point, the tour guide started to explain how a certain room had once been limited to men over the age of 18.

Then the uncomfortable moment occurred — the two teens were most likely female genetically but expressing as males. (Not that I asked, just a best guess and 40+ years of experience.)

The nervous tour guide focused on the age vs gender limit, but I could tell she was struggling with the proper pronouns.

i thought, why on earth would anyone (these teen possibly genetically girls, for example) decide to identify as white males? Did they not know this is now the one and only demographic it is totally OK to discriminate against?

And  if white males are so terrible, why would anyone choose to identify as such? If they did not have to?

And maybe they just unfortunately were born genetically female but identified as white males despite the current disadvantage.

Anyway we all survived the tour. But I did wonder these things.  Not that it matters really.

What do you think?Please share in the comments!


(P.s. I recently read of a study that showed in the 1960s in mice that the birth control pill created marked statistically significant gender confusion in the third generation (grandchildren of females who took the pill) but that the data was suppressed. And we are here now in human generations. Would maybe explain the otherwise inexplainable? I dunno.. discuss… )


A Banished Ballad


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The Me Too movement continues to point an accusatory finger, this time at a cheeky and playful holiday song now deemed predatory.  News reports today say many radio stations and public forums are banning it.

Let’s have a look. Probably the best way to access the situation is to click on the video and then read along with the lyrics below:

Baby It’s Cold Outside

I really can’t stay (Baby it’s cold outside)
I gotta go away (Baby it’s cold outside)
This evening has been (Been hoping that you’d dropped in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice)
My mother will start to worry (Beautiful what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)
So really I’d better scurry (Beautiful please don’t hurry)
Well maybe just a half a drink more (I’ll put some records on while I pour)
The neighbors might think (Baby it’s bad out there)
Say what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell) (Why thank you)
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Mind if move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (What’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?)
I really can’t stay (Baby don’t hold out)
Baby it’s cold outside
Ah, you’re very pushy you know?
I like to think of it as opportunistic
I simply must go (Baby it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (But baby it’s cold outside)
The welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)
My sister will be suspicious (Gosh your lips look delicious!)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Gosh your lips are delicious!)
Well maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before) (And I don’t even smoke)
I’ve got to get home (Baby you’ll freeze out there)
Say lend me a coat? (It’s up to your knees out there!)
You’ve really been grand, (I feel when I touch your hand)
But don’t you see? (How can you do this thing to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my life long sorrow!)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died!)
I really can’t stay (Get over that old out)
Baby it’s cold
Baby it’s cold outside
Okay fine, just another drink then
That took a lot of convincing!
So what do you think? Is this a flirty and fun song demonstrating plausible deniability?  (Meaning she’s fine with it but she’s playing hard to get so she doesn’t seem too eager) or predatory creep pushing drinks on a poor, innocent, girl who isn’t into it but is trying to let him down gently? A patriarchal plot to teach generation after generation of young men how to trap and molest the ladies, player techniques passed on thru song?
What do do you think? Please share in the comments!