Well I am sure none of my regular readers will be surprised by this, but the college guy friend who reached out that I wrote about in two posts back tried to cross the line into turning our friendly talks into an online affair.
Thanks to the schooling from the red pill guys over the past few years, I knew this was coming.
And also thanks to them, I can understand what he’s feeling and why he would take this route. And I was ready when he did.
”Can I send you a picture?” He asked.
“Of?” I asked.
“I feel kinda silly,” he said.
“If it is inappropriate, don’t send it,” I said.
”Ok, sorry,” he said.
Then I said I understand what he’s feeling, and even what he’s trying to do, because I felt it myself when I was unhappily married. But that an affair was not the solution, facing what he’s avoiding, his bad marriage, is.
I know this may sound funny but a lot of times people have affairs as a way to stay in a bad marriage. I know that may not make sense but it’s true.
The affair distracts them from the problem and makes them feel good short term. But in the long run they end up feeling much worse. And if the affair is discovered, it is hugely embarrassing and devastating for all involved.
My life is complicated enough, as I always say. And I don’t want to enable him to continue to avoid his real problem. And of course, I would never do that to my guy. Nor would I want to do that to his wife. Even if I was single. Nope. Not happening. Not even for the tingles! (Sorry tingles, you never give good advice!)
He said he’s scared to be alone. I said well I guess it is up to him to decide is it worse to be alone, or to feel so stuck and unhappy he thinks of suicide as a way out. And I reminded him, there’s the third option that maybe he can like Horseman did go from unhappily married to now very happily married.
I am actually glad he reached out to me so that I had the chance to say all this. And to try to help him find a real solution.
I sent him the name and number of a male therapist I know who I think can really help him sort out how he got into a marriage he says he never wanted, and then help him decide what now? Not marriage counseling. Personal counseling.
Now not all therapists are alike and so going to one can sometimes make things worse not better, but I know this one well and I know he will give this guy good guidance. Red pill style.
I hope he calls him. He said he would. I guess time will tell.
And hopefully he keeps talking. But just like Hercules, the answer to anything illicit is now and always will be, “Isn’t my life complicated enough?” Yes it is. No need to throw illicit affairs into the mix, thanks, flattered, nothing personal, but that’s a NO.
What do you think? Please share in the comments!