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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: alpha male

Beta Orbiters from the Gal Side

22 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 84 Comments

Tags

affairs, alpha male, beta orbiter, cheating, dating after divorce, dating success, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, relationships

You may recall I have written about Vixen, my former neighbor before, and an update, and her latest… Well this morning I talked to her and probed further to try and understand why the Alpha/beta orbiter thing, and by golly I think I may have struck a red pill goldmine! New data to fold in, in any case, hopefully.

(Male readers: Please keep in mind the following is examined from the FEMALE pov. What I would advise the men in this situation, or what men would advise them, likely would be, “Next!” And I get that. I feel for these guys involved, I truly do! I am just trying to explain the “why” of female behavior from the gal side, which may help men understand it better too, but please know I am NOT saying it is good or right gals do this. To clarify. )

Short story, she’s been torn between two guys for several years: One is an Alpha who she chases, one is a beta who chases her. Both are intelligent, successful, and good looking guys. However her playing the fence is damaging the chances of relationship success with either suitor by the day. So why does she do it?

It’s an ancient female mindset, and a part of hypergamy, to always have a plan B, and C if needed. Aka the beta orbiter. Why? Life is historically precarious for a woman, especially a woman with small children, as her man may go off to war or off to hunt and never return. (Life as a man is obviously risky as well, in a more direct way, by no means minimizing that.)

She really wants the Alpha, but he won’t fully commit to her (and maybe for good reason!) This leaves her feeling unsafe. So she keeps the beta orbiter close by, in case Alpha bails. Beta orbiter is a real steady Eddie, willing to watch her kids, pay for their dance lessons, pay her bills, the works. Before the unplanned (or was it?) pregnancy with Apha, I highly advocated she forget Alpha and go for the beta orbiter, who I believe is a far better bet if what she needs is a family man. He’s actually far better looking, far more interesting and intelligent, and so on as well. The better “catch” imho, except despite me advising him not to be, he’s just too darn available! And that turns her off.

Meanwhile the Alpha remains just out of reach. He’s told her he would marry her and take care of her in a minute, IF she knocks off the beta orbiter thing and adopts HIS frame. But she isn’t sure… will he? Can she trust him? After all, he’s got “options” and has shown he’s willing to walk if needed. (Ironically this is exactly what draws her in, if he was too available, he’d be a deta orbiter in her mind, and she’d likely seek another Alpha. Complex, I know!)

And so it goes round and round. I suggested she completely cut off contact with the beta orbiter, because he undermines her relationship with the Alpha and is a BIG reason things aren’t progressing to a commitment. She really needs to choose. And to PROVE herself worthy of commitment!

Add to that, the wall approaches and I pointed this out to her today. Don’t waste precious time, I suggested. Get this figured out NOW, don’t wait until you are 50.  (She’s 41, I believe.)

She saw the sense in all this, when I explained the concepts. I truly believe she herself does not understand how her feminine imperative is pushing her to do things that are not helping, but actually hurting her chances of success. One must recognize the self-sabatoge hypergamy can cause, and why women play these games, to overcome them.

She said it was because Alpha isn’t local, as his job requires him to be onsite in a remote location (and pays much more b/c of that.) To this I called BS. I am in a long distance relationship myself, which she is seeing is working very well for me now that I am red pill savvy enough to “get” what I need to give and be to have that successful long distance relationship.  But as I told her, he’ leave me in a MINUTE if I played the games she is, and so I simply don’t. He’s way too good to me for me to ever even think of risking that! Because of him, my life now works in ways it never could have without him, and I feel safe. It’s a choice, I told her. If she wants what she sees I have, then she needs to accept his frame and the job situation.

Anyway, I hope Vixen will consider all this and for her baby boy’s sake, do what the Alpha demands, make him cookies, and nurtures that relationship with all she has. And most of all gives him one of the biggest things a gal can give a man — LOYALTY. Commit to him or he will never commit to you!

We’ll see… you can lead a horse to water but… I hope to God she DRINKS!!!! (I’d force her to drink if I could but she needs to see it on her own and do so willingly, darn it!)

What do you think? Have you seen women do this? Please share in the comments…

Beware Self-Imposed Drama

21 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 33 Comments

Tags

alpha male, attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, beauty, beta, blue pill, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, crisis, dating, divorce, drama

As I listened to my former neighbor describe her continually messed up love life, it suddenly occurred to me how she was really the one creating all this angst.

Now if you asked her, she’d swear up and down that she’s the victim here, “they” are doing all this to her.

For a long time I bought it too. After all she’s so convincing in her blameless tales of woe. I used to empathize with her bad luck. But post red pill awareness, it’s abundantly clear that she’s an active participant in creating all of her troubles.

For example if ever there has been a plate spinner, it’s her. She’s always got two or three guys she “can’t decide between” on the line, then rotates in a few random encounters here and there to boot.

Naturally, the men in these tales are not so into that, and drama ensues. Oddly (or according to the red pill maybe not oddly at all) the only one who she has it bad for is the one who blows her off and who seems to care less what she’s doing as long as she’s available when he wants her. Which is about every three months.

I hate to say it but she pretty much confirms almost every red pill cliche in the book: AF/BB, opportunistic love, bad boys over good guys, etc.

How does she get away with it? Well for now she’s still young(ish) and very attractive. I fear someday she will be the 50-some lady sitting at the bar wondering where have all the good men gone?

And if that happens, I suppose she’ll have nobody but herself and her disastrous self-sabotaging choices to blame.

Or maybe by then she’ll be reaping the seeds she’s planted when her own two daughters she’s dragged along for the ride become teens and start creating self-imposed drama themselves? I sure hope not.

Lately when she starts talking about all her troubles, I have been dropping in tidbits of red pill wisdom. She actually latches on to these little nuggets, surprisingly, and is quite interested. Which leads me to believe she’s really not that conscious of the self-destructive, no-win cycle she is creating, or how to break out of it. Hopefully in time that light will click on. In the meantime, she seems to be giving the Kardashian’s a run for their money in the drama department.

Here’s an idea: When tempted to indulge in something you know you should not, try asking yourself my go-to drama busting question, “Isn’t my life already complicated enough?” Chances are it is, all on its own. No additional drama necessary!

Let those who have ears hear.

Examples of the Red Pill in Movies or Music?

26 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 119 Comments

Tags

alpha male, attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, beta, blue pill, dating, divorce, marriage, movies, music, red pill, relationships

Since stumbling across the red pill philosophy, I find examples of its various theories all the time in music lyrics and sometimes in movies.

How about you?

This is another interactive reader post, I am hoping that you will share examples of red pill music (lyrics, links to videos, etc) or movies here in the comments.

Probably the most red pill movie I have seen would be “The Hangover.” It is absolutely filled with great examples of all sorts of red pill tenants, plus its pretty funny, if you like sick humor like I do.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1119646/

As for red pill songs, there are so many. I will list them as I think of them in the comments.

Please, chime in!

What We Can Learn From 50 Shades of Grey

17 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 33 Comments

Tags

50 Shades, 50 Shades of Grey, alpha male, androgeny, attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, beta, blue pill, divorce, marriage, red pill, sex life, sexuality

Like it or not, the book and now movie 50 Shades of Grey has been a smashing financial success. The book has sold more copies than Harry Potter, the movie grossed over $81 million this past opening weekend. And all this despite nearly everyone who critiqued the book saying it was pretty terribly written. (I have not read the book or seen the movie.)

Whether you are in the love it or hate it camp, there is no denying this book and then film hit a raw nerve in a big, big way. So why has it been so successful? What is it that has people (errr, I mean women) buying the books and flocking to the theaters in droves?

Well, for one thing it’s about sex. And as they say, sex sells. More than that it’s about a sexual relationship where the male partner is dominant and the female partner is submissive.

This isn’t the soft, gentle, wrapped in romance style sex that most men and women have been sold as “the way it works.” It’s not roses and chocolates and hopes that with a foot rub and some choreplay there *might* be some sex in return for Mr. Grey, if he’s lucky.

But wait, that’s what women want, right? Isn’t that how it works?

Actually not, as I think the success of this book and movie clearly show. Those familiar with the Red Pill shouldn’t be surprised by this information. Manospherians recognized this dynamic long ago and have built an entire philosophy of seduction and tripping a woman’s attraction wires around it.

What the Red Pill says, among other things, is that women and men are not the same. Gender is not a social construct. Men and women are different.

Yet over the past 40 years a “same and equal” philosophy that women want men to act more like women and men want women who act more like men has been pushed by the larger culture, often called the Blue Pill, much to the dissatisfaction of all.

Not to be crude but what do women like about men? They are hard. What do men like about women? They are soft. What doesn’t work? Soft men and hard women.

I am not saying everyone needs to go get whips and handcuffs to be sexually happy (but if it floats your boat, go for it). What I am saying is that the feminized man and the masculine woman dynamic doesn’t work.

But God forbid you say it out loud because THAT’S JUST NOT OK. It’s misogyny. It’s sexist. It’s abusive. It’s oppressive. It’s patriarchy. Etc.

To that I simply say, it wasn’t men buying these books and movie tickets for the most part, now was it? So who exactly is so titillated by the idea of a man calling the shots? Hummm?

Female sexuality has a side that few women want to admit to but Harlequin romance novel writers, female erotica writers, and the author of 50 Shades all reveal loud and clear. Women aren’t the delicate little asexual fainting flowers the Victorians portrayed them to be.

So why are we as a culture (and in many ways especially women) working so hard to deny that? I think a lot of marriages and relationships could be greatly improved by putting aside the prudish Blue Pill thinking and embracing the Red Pill reality the runaway success of 50 Shades makes abundantly clear.

Hopefully more women, and men, will be awakened to how it works — and how it has always worked — because of it.

Exhibit A…

“He moves suddenly so that his hand is cupping my sex, and one of his fingers sinks slowly into me. His other arm holds me firmly in place around my waist.

“This is mine,” he whispers aggressively. “All mine. Do you understand?” He eases his finger in and out as he gazes down at me, gauging my reaction, his eyes burning.

“Yes, yours…”

Abruptly, he moves, doing several things at once: Withdrawing his fingers, leaving me wanting, unzipping his fly, and pushing me down onto the couch so he’s lying on top of me.

“Hands on your head,” he commands through gritted teeth as he kneels up, forcing my legs wider…

“We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand?

Don’t come, or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth.”

~ E.L. James

That text didn’t sweep through suburbia faster than the latest measles outbreak for nothing. And it wasn’t men who were telling their friends about it, it was women.

What does that say?

Let those who have ears hear.

Guys Don’t Like Sluts

05 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Sex and Such

≈ 74 Comments

Tags

alpha male, bad boys, bad girl, casual sex, dating, good girl, hooking up, hookups, marriage, red pill, relationships, slut, slut shaming, virginity

I don’t have much time to write this, so I probably won’t do this topic justice but I will try — short version, guys don’t like sluts.

In a world where people say, “Don’t slut shame” it’s not a message you hear very much, but I have heard many a man say so around the manosphere.

Young women are sold this message that to have sex “like a man” with whoever and whenever you want is “empowering.” What’s good for the gander is good for the goose, right?

But what this theory leaves out is that it’s not as easy for men to find women to have sex with as it is for women to find men to have sex with. All guys aren’t just going out and having casual sex whenever they want. They may wish, but even seasoned players like this guy, who literally makes a living trying to get laid and teaching other guys how to do it too, will admit, even for him, it can be hard to get sex.

The reality is the men women are having sex with aren’t “the average guys.” In the real world, about 20% of guys are getting 80% of the casual sex action. The top guys. The guys all gals want. Even the good looking but average guys, not so much.

Meanwhile even average to below average looking girls can pretty easily find someone to have sex with. He likely won’t want a relationship, or to marry her, but he’ll have a go. Maybe even more than once. Maybe he will even add her to his booty call list. He won’t judge her for sleeping with him. He’ll actually encourage it. It’s in his best interest. But is it in hers?

You see, women make the mistake of *projecting* it’s just as easy for guys to get laid as it is for girls. But it’s not.

And, the guys in the 80% who want to have a girlfriend, a wife, and regular sex who aren’t getting it, they do care if a girl is a slut. In fact, she doesn’t even have to be “a slut.” They care if she’s even semi-promiscuous. They care how many other men she’s slept with. They care if she’s ok with casual sex or one night stands. And if she is they value her less, as a potential serious partner, for doing these things.

There, I said it. I have a feeling it is not a popular thing to say, but I think far too many women don’t realize this, at their own doom. Ladies, I am not telling you what to do with your body, but I am telling you the “nobody cares anymore” thing is a myth.

Why do men care? It’s actually not about a moral judgement, although that’s what kept women from sleeping around in millennia past. It’s biological. Even in a world with birth control, this is ancient programming and not easily overwritten. In the past having sex meant making babies. And if a woman was having sex with multiple men, she was a risk.

See, a women knows 100% that a baby in her belly is hers. A man, especially in the days before over the counter paternity tests, does not. He’s taking a big risk and is putting a lot of faith in the gal to believe that’s HIS baby. This is a hard concept for women to grasp I think, because they would never be in that situation.

But imagine if you went to the hospital and had a baby. And then they just handed you a random baby from the nursery, and said the baby was yours. Sure, you would think the baby was cute, and you would probably love it and care for it, but wouldn’t you really want to take home and raise YOUR baby? Wouldn’t you wonder if it was your baby, and if not where your baby was and how it was doing? So why would a guy not feel the same?

That’s why men don’t like sluts. Or as a male friend put it, “Oh we like sluts, but not for a girlfriend or wife.”

Men value loyalty and fidelity very, very highly. If you want a good man, you should be protecting your asset, which is your self. Women hold the key to sex. Likewise, men hold the key to commitment. This used to be the trade – sex for commitment. But in a world where women are handing out their key, men are withdrawing their side of the deal as well. Fair is fair.

This post may bring on a hail of hate rain, I am talking a big risk calling a spade a spade here, but if you don’t believe me, just ask the guys. They will tell you it’s true. I am only trying to help women understand it, for their own sake, before it’s too late and her only option left is dealing with the fallout.

Let those with ears hear.

The Return of Masculinity?

03 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Gender

≈ 96 Comments

Tags

alpha male, dating, manly, marriage, masculine, red pill, relationships

Last night at a meeting with my biz colleagues (mostly male) I noticed a curious fact, almost all of them were sporting noticeable facial stubble. Even the ones who are usually the clean cut sort.

Could it be masculinity is making a comeback? The manosphere is going mainstream? That’s it’s OK for men to be men again?

Sparta

Oh please, say it is so!

I am all for men being men, and unapologetically so. Enough with the yes mamn, whatever you say dear, hair product wearing, never breaking a sweat, hairless, androgynous guys who carry purses and say “it’s a satchel,” or worse admit it is a man purse. Enough. Just don’t.

Women (or moms) may say women like men to be like that, but really they don’t.

What do they like? Men being men. Men acting like men. Men dressing like men. Men smelling like men. (Good God, I can feel my eggs popping right now just thinking about this!)

The feminine craves the mas·cu·line: having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with men, especially strength and aggressiveness.

“he is outstandingly handsome and robust, very masculine”

synonyms: virile, macho, manly, muscular, muscly, strong, strapping, well built, rugged, robust, brawny, heavily built, powerful, red-blooded, vigorous; hunky, testosteronic

Yep. You heard it here first. Masculinity is back in style, at long last! (I hope!)

Of course there’s more to it than just being hairy, but it’s a good start.

What do you think ladies? Am I the only one thinking this?

 

.

Why Do We Follow The Herd?

21 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

alpha, alpha female, alpha male, apex alpha, beta, blue pill, divorce, economy, feminism, group think, herd, red pill, sexual revolution, social norms

You might remember as a kid hearing your mom say something along the lines of, “Just because everyone else jumps off a cliff, that doesn’t mean you have to, too.”

And yet, it’s hard to deny that there’s a powerful pressure to run with the pack if you want to fit in. People (and some would say especially women) care a great deal about how others think of them.

In this insightful essay about the hierarchy of the herd, the author explores why this is and how this herd mentality drives social norms, movements, and individual behavior more than we may consciously realize.

One thing the red pill philosophy encourages is to question everything you think you know is true. And when you do, before long chances are you’ll come to the very uncomfortable realization that a lot of what you thought was true actually isn’t. And that a lot of the thoughts and decisions you thought were your own, aren’t.

It can be such an uncomfortable experience that many would rather deny, deny, deny than face the truth. Even if what they are doing isn’t working. Even if what they are doing will never work.

As the above essay points out, there can also be stiff penalties for not following, speaking out against, or going against the herd.  Even when the herd is headed right toward a cliff.

For example, I would argue that the herd is currently headed (stampeding, really)  in a very dangerous direction. The herd is destabilizing, derailing, and destroying much of what made our society work, relationships and marriages work, families work, our economy work, our government work, our schools work, western civilization work.

Look around. Examples of this are everywhere. (This next part is admittedly America-centric but I am an American woman so it is what I know.) In a country where people have experienced unparalleled prosperity and freedom, we are instead of rising to the top, racing to the bottom. Why? The herd.

Mark my words, there is a cliff straight ahead. Whether you believe me or not, the law of gravity applies just the same.

Let those who have ears hear.

——————————————

But that’s just what I think. What do you think? Are things getting better, or worse? Why or why not?

Do Women Prefer Bad Boys?

25 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

alpha male, bad boys, beta, courtship, dating, red pill, relationships

A post by a fellow male blogger on women and bad boys has me thinking, do women really prefer bad boys? And if so, why?

If you haven’t read the linked to blog above, I highly recommend it as the rest of this post will make a lot more sense if you do.

I think the author is right about the primal draw of the bad boy, historically. Not so long ago, dinner didn’t come from the store and civil unrest was a fact of life. Birth control was also non existent, so sex = babies, and babies = a woman’s ability to take care of it all herself is highly compromised. Hunt or fight off foes with a howling baby (or several) in tow while taking breaks to nurse and clean up poopy butts? I don’t think so.

Back then woman needed man much more than man needed woman. (And some would argue this is true even today, and I might agree.) And preferably woman needed a man who could hunt and protect her and their children. Enter the bad boy meme.

Now back then he wasn’t so much a bad boy as probably an average guy. Perhaps there were a few shaman types who stayed back at camp and practiced medicine and led spiritual rituals but for the most part all the other men were hunters, warriors, and laborers. And likely all three. That was the “job” of a man.

Women had babies, took care of children and the elderly, cooked and prepared food, made clothing, kept up the camp, packed up and moved the camp, gathered plants and roots, and so on. That was the “job” of the woman.

Then agriculture happened, then industrialization, then specialization. Somewhere in there came money, and the disconnect from every man and woman being self sufficient but part of a larger whole, using money earned at a job to barter for goods needed to survive.

Today’s accountant (no offense to accountants, just picked a random job to illustrate) doesn’t hunt to put food on the table or fight off foes and perhaps even hires out his labor like yard work, building, and fixing things. The accountant understands money, and earns money, and so can provide and protect in today’s society. But what if society collapsed? How well would the average accountant do?

And thus, my theory is, creates the appeal of the bad boy. If shtf, I think women still understand in a primal and ancient way that the bad boy is going to be able to provide and protect. The bad boy isn’t worried about the ethics of doing what needs done. The bad boy isn’t going to shun violence, or have issues with killing animals to eat, or even lose sleep over stealing from someone else if he has to.

So who is the better bet? Logically, it’s the accountant. Instinctively, it’s the bad boy.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating women start corresponding with dangerous felons or even choosing an unemployed thug over a gainfully employed accountant. I am just saying, if you find yourself drawn to the bad boy, this is probably why.

Ideally a gal can cover her bases by seeking a gainfully employed guy with good character who is solid and true, but also has a bad boy edge and could do what it takes if he had to.

And guys, if you are more the accountant than the bad boy, don’t be afraid to let your inner caveman out to play. Hunt. Fish. Climb rocks. Shoot guns. Raise and slaughter chickens. Play sports. Build fires. Brew beer. Howl at the moon. Hit stuff with sticks. Throw rocks. Be stinky and dirty every now and then. Let your beard get scruffy occasionally. Get back in touch with your neanderthal side. Chicks dig it. Even if your mom told you they don’t!

Let those who have ears hear.

The Trouble With Demi-Gods

07 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

alpha male, dating, hookups, infidelity, marriage, red pill, relationships

Anyone familiar with Greek and Roman mythology knows demi-gods are usually trouble. Half mortal, half divine, they can bend and break the rules of the world. And they do. But not fully immortal, they tend to run afoul of the social order and often suffer the wrath of the truly divine eventually.

I know just such a someone, let’s just call him Hercules. He is a strapping 6′ 3″, totally ripped, basically so attractive, you’d think he was carved from marble.

Oh and he knows it, and it shows in his nonchalance and devil may care attitude toward almost anyone and anything but himself. Hercules pretty much gets whatever he wants in life just by showing up and turning on the charm. And oh yes, he is charming. He isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he does have some pockets of esoteric knowledge he’ll whip out to impress the crowds and sometimes even shows signs of being deeper than he appears. And other times, also much more shallow.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know this sounds all judgmental. I like Hercules in a love thy neighbor type of way, like I love all people. But not in a LOVE thy neighbor kind of way, if you know what I mean.

In fact, Hercules and his ex-wife used to be my neighbors.  They moved in when she was expecting their second child, both girls. His ex-wife is a demi-god in her own right, one of those gals who is just a whirlwind of a train wreck that you somehow can’t help loving and hoping the best for. She’s very attractive, but not terribly bright. The two of them have known each other since high school, but didn’t get together until she was married to Hercules’ best friend and while I don’t know the exact details, let’s just say it likely wasn’t on the up and up.

They fought like cats and dogs. Fire and ice. It was always some drama and in a weird way it seemed to draw them together like moths to a flame, only to get singed, circle, and return for more.

Shortly after I was divorced, Hercules came by one day to drop off his kids for a play date. Still married and living two doors down at the time himself, it didn’t even cross my mind that he might make a pass at me until he did, right there in my very own kitchen, with the kids in the next room. And by made a pass, it was a full on, no mistaking it, “How about it? Let’s go upstairs.”

After a split second of shock, my hind brain kicked in with fight or flight. I didn’t even have to think about this. My reply was, “Listen here, you are my neighbor’s husband, this is not happening, and it’s never happening. Got it?” He laughed and persisted, until I cut him off on no uncertain terms by asking him, “Don’t you think my life is complicated enough?” I guess he could not think of a comeback to that, and he quit. Because my life is complicated enough, and he knows it.

Fast forward a few years and I have repeated those words to him on a half dozen occasions. Anytime he gets a chance alone, he starts in. I am not sure what it is about. I suspect it’s more about the novelty of a female rejecting his glorious splendor than it is about him actually caring about me in particular. I could be wrong about that, but I doubt it. I almost wonder if he likes me rejecting him sometimes, like it reassures him somehow. Maybe so.

But the trouble is he does it with such ease, it’s clear this little song and dance works for him much of the time. But not with me. As a single mom with two kids and a small business, my life is complicated enough. I don’t need to court trouble. I don’t need a man I can’t count on, no matter how enticing the wrapping.

Hercules and his missus broke up eventually, no surprise. By that time they had run around behind each others backs, then tried to have an open marriage arrangement, only to have that open the lid on a Pandora’s box of jealousy and skirting and skanking around openly and not, followed by the arrival of his son born to another women they had an open relationship with, and the aftermath of that, then affairs on both sides, as they set up their respective launch pads, and it was done.

She moved into an apartment her boyfriend paid for, he moved in with a girlfriend. His girlfriend’s a nice gal, 36, never been married, no kids, great job. She keeps him in the lap of luxury. They are trying to have a baby. But that didn’t stop him the next time I saw him from trying to corner me, asking me how about it, now that he’s not married? When I asked, “What about your girlfriend?” He answered without a pause, “I got involved in that too fast. I should have taken some time off.” My response, “How is any of that my problem? Oh yeah, it’s not. Thank God.” He laughed it off, shot me a “you know you want me” look, and off into the world again he went.

A few months ago, I had a gal who is a known heroin addict show up at my door. After she left, there I was alone, at night, just me and my kids. I realized how vulnerable I really am, and despite my usual courage of a lion, it rattled me. I could not sleep all night. I posted it on Facebook, as this girl lives in the area and I was hoping someone knew her name. My bachelor brother called immediately, ready to quit his job and jump on a plane that minute. Not 15 minutes after that, there’s Hercules in my driveway telling me to get in, we’re going to get me a gun.

We went gun shopping and to his credit he showed genuine concern. He told me that if things ever fall apart (he for some reason believes the government will collapse soon) he said the first place he’s coming is to my place, with guns, and his kids. I told him Spartans are welcome in cases of national emergency (and trust me, unless someone else got here with guns first, in that scenario he likely would be welcomed with open arms.)

Once again, he made a move, asking me point blank why I wouldn’t ever give him a chance? And my handy go to, “Because my life is complicated enough,” was the reply. He said if I ever changed my mind and got horny, just give him a call. I kissed him on the cheek, thanked him for schooling me on guns, and said maybe I would go with him to the gun show the next weekend. But I didn’t call to set it up. Because he’s still living with his girlfriend, and I just recently found out he’s also still hooking up with his ex here and there. I’m not an idiot.

Yesterday I was having a really hard, lonely day. I could have used some help from someone like Hercules. Later that day, I was driving through town, and I saw his truck at the local bar. Without a pause, I kept on driving, because after all, my life is complicated enough. I don’t need to go messing with demi-gods. Everybody knows, they are trouble.

Ladies take note: A woman lets a man in. She can’t go complaining later or blaming anyone but herself if it turns out exactly as as badly as it was obvious it would. And if you are still tempted, knowing better anyway, stop and ask yourself this: Isn’t your life complicated enough?

Yes, yes it is. Don’t add to it.

Let those who have ears hear.

 

 

 

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