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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: bad boys

Dark Triad Game

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Gender, Red Pill, Relationships, Sex and Such

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

bad boys, dark triad, dating, game, marriage, red pill, relationship dynamics, relationships

A commenter suggested I check out season two episode 4 of The Crown on Netflix.

Well I just watched it and while there are many red pill moments, I believe he was referring to a really great example of dark triad game run on Princess Margaret, then the world’s most eligible woman.

The whole episode is good but it cuts to the chase around 37 minutes in, when the single princess shows up at a photographer’s studio, a man she met at a party who intrigued her with his bad boy vibe.

I’d highly recommend you watch it for yourself but his understanding of what makes Princess Margaret’s neurons flip is spot on. You can practically see her flinching from the tingles.

And it worked like a charm, because she ends up marrying him, having his kids, and bringing him into wealth and connections that help launch his already successful photography career over the top.

One could also argue how rather than be a moth to a flame Margaret would have been better off running for her life as the relationship soon turned into (surprise!) a disaster.

The two later have various affairs, get involved in drugs and heavy drinking, make each other miserable, and become the first royals to divorce since the days of Henry VIII.

Not surprisingly, the couple was celebrated as “progressive” and “real” and “bucking tradition” and “bringing the monarchy into the modern age.”

Despite the spin I do have to wonder, were the tingles worth it? For her? For their two kids? (who I wonder about, who was raising them while their parents were so busy being 60s/70s icons?)

The Dark Triad man is captivating indeed, thrilling and edgy. But there are two sides to him and what goes up must come down. Beware playing with fire, it burns.  The good times are usually far, far briefer than the bad.

What do you think? Please share in the comments. (And if you have Netflix, watch the clip!)

The Things Women Do

03 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 93 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, dating, red pill

Commenter Fnu Mnu Lnu brought up an interestng point about the sometimes puzzling things women do. He says:

“…if a man has anything to his name, some woman is going to try and latch on to it.

Just go to the section of the walmart parking lot where the homeless people live. There’s one guy who works there that has been living is his car for over two years. Nice kid, very quiet and reserved, not too sharp, and not even enough incentive to get his expired drivers license back no matter how much I’ve tried to help him. He will still be living in his car years from now. And guess what,…

Some chick is trying to latch on to him!

Five or six spots east of him, are a homeless couple living in their version of a duplex. Him in his Acura, and her in her Volkswagen. Always parked right next to each other, with windows down and smoking cigs that he went to get at the store.

There is a tent city just off the highway and before downtown FredNeck, and guess what. It’s nots only got men in it. The bitches latch on to whoever they can!

When I used to work in the courthouse, I actually watched the judges issuing orders against men and forcing them out of their own tents for domestic violence. Can you imagine? Bitches can get you kicked out of the house you bought from goodwill with money you made panhandling!

As long as he has a dick and any sort of money at all, some bitch will try to latch on to him.”

I have also seen this in real life. Women attaching themselves to guys who have, as far as I can see, nothing to offer these women. So why do they do it?

Discuss… what’s behind this?

Games Girls Play

24 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships, Uncategorized

≈ 161 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, dating, divorce, hookups, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, remarriage, romance

A post over at The Rational Male and the comments that follow got me thinking about some of the games girls play, and how men are getting hip to such games and are countering with self-preservation strategies of their own.

(NOTE: A word to the wise, before you go to that blog and post how “not all women are like that” NAWALT or to try to argue, just don’t. I guarantee you will not be met with understanding or a warm reception. It’s a “guy space.” Please respect that and just read but not comment. Comment here instead.)

For example, consider this comment by YaReally from a guy point of view of such games, and ask yourself how many times have you seen a girlfriend do this (or have done it yourself?) Then ask yourself if you were a guy, how would you feel if almost every girl you dated offered you this deal?

“No man “committing” to a girl raised in 2016 culture is in a monogamous LTR. He’s in a one-sided pLTR (Primary LTR, a primary partner with multiple orbiters/side-poon) but in the GIRL’S favor (aka she keeps her options available while he restricts his own).

Social media and women out of the kitchen and into the workplace etc creates a system where women can openly gather and string orbiters along and openly seek higher-value options than her current man and this is socially acceptable because it’s all done under the guise of “just being friends” or anonymity.

If her significant other tries to restrict her access to that stuff, he’s labelled controlling, insecure, jealous, abusive, etc And if the guy keeps his own options open, he’s a player, cheat, unfaithful, emotionally abusive, etc

In the old days, before modern technology (especially before phones were invented but even in, like, the 50s say), a woman had to go out of her way to gather and keep orbiters around. It took actual effort and even if she went out looking she really only had access to a handful of men besides her husband. Once she determined that he was her best option, her Hypergamy was satisfied enough to make a relationship work long-term. That doesn’t mean women didn’t cheat, or weren’t subconsciously still on the prowl for some mysterious high-value stranger who passes through town, but like, it was significantly more difficult to entertain that shit (plus she had other shit to do with her day, like keeping the house/family taken care of before modern technology turned cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc into short often automated tasks that give her tons of free time to be bored).

But today’s technology means that a girl can be dating the greatest catch in her social circle, but still potentially have access to an even higher value guy through her social media. And if she switches to that guy, when he’s sitting on the couch beside her being boring, she can be communicating with a AAA celebrity through her social media.

Hypergamy doesn’t “shut off”, it NEVER sleeps…it’s ALWAYS there, always pinging for value. If you can keep her away from other men that don’t necessarily HAVE higher-value than you but that she PERCEIVES *MAY* have higher-value than you in HER value system of what constitutes high-value (which causes her to feel that compelling instinctive urge to test to SEE if he is juuuust incase he IS and she should pursue him), then you have a shot. But all the actions that would help that are demonized and villified as controlling, abusive, etc thanks to feminism pushing for Open Hypergamy and Open Cuckolding. This is why they’ll keep pushing that stuff trying to program boys from an early age so that it’s normalized to them when they’re adults and they don’t question the arrangement where they give up all their options while the girl says she does but is still pinging for better in the background thanks to the technology that’s made that abundant, easy and discreet (and connected her to astronomically high-value males like celebrities).

The ruse is that a relationship where a man gives up all his options and is sexually faithful to a woman, while the woman is sexually faithful to him (for now) but is constantly subconsciously on the prowl for better (because social media and being in male spaces like male workplaces and hobbies) under an “innocent” frame of “oh that’s just some guy from work, it’s no big deal, why are you getting jealous don’t be so insecure!”, is still “a monogamous relationship”.

That’s NOT a monoLTR. That is a pLTR in the woman’s favor. No guy dating/settling with a girl in 2016 is settling into a “monogamous LTR”, he’s settling into a “pLTR in the woman’s favor”. Like, guys need to really let that concept sink in.

The only guys in ACTUAL monoLTRs are guys who’s significant others don’t (or barely) use social media (so a lot of guys with older wives which is why I stress the raised in 2016 culture thing, or if you can find like, an Amish girl lol), and/or don’t (or barely) spend time in male spaces around other men (like working at a place where she’s surrounded by high-value men).

Literally any girl with social media is only offering guys a pLTR in her favor, but everyone in society including the man agreeing to it will still call it a monoLTR, and that man will find himself frustrated that she has orbiters posting/flirting on her Facebook wall but will then realize he’s in a Kobayashi Maru when he tries to call her out on it and is labelled jealous/insecure for it…he won’t be able to articulate it unless he’s a Red Pill guy and even then it depends on how much of the pill he’s swallowed, but he’ll instinctively know that him sitting on the couch watching Netflix while she sits beside him surfing Facebook and responding to guys on her Facebook wall, that something isn’t “right” with that agreement he’s entered. Because it’s lopsided in her favor.

This is why I’m pushing for guys to understand and explore the dynamics of how pLTRs and oLTRs work, and how oLTRs naturally become pLTRs if you can keep her Hypergamy triggered, and just REQUIRING a pLTR from her already puts you near the top of her Hypergamous options because it’s giving her all the shit she needs (dread, jealousy, etc) and giving you all the shit you need (sexworthiness, charisma to flirt with other girls, abundance mentality to walk away, etc) for her to stay attracted to you.

And it’s why I’m pushing for guys to start experimenting with pLTRs so we can get more guys in them and get more guys thinking about how we can successfully have and raise kids in a pLTR (in the man’s favor) arrangement with no legal ties and possibly accepting the fact that women may not stay past the 7 year itch and prepare for accepting that and prospering within the new system.

Because the old system is DEAD. MonoLTRs don’t exist anymore. I can’t re-state that enough.

Unless you can keep your girl jobless in your home and off all forms of social media (even the seemingly innocent ones that are for hobby groups or business networking etc)…which with a 20+yo girl in 2016 with a huge social network, is pretty unrealistic (her friends/family (who are all in shitty relationships themselves) will likely view you as abusive and be trying to turn her against you to “save” her from the horror that is your relationship actually having a chance at working out lol). You may manage to make an “LTR” work in 2016 with a girl raised in 2016 culture, but understand that unless you’re pro-actively running a pLTR in your favor, you are making a “pLTR in her favor” work, not a “monoLTR”.

This is a big part of why marriage is a bad deal. Even if you marry a chick who doesn’t use social media, and get her to quit her job to be a housewife, when she’s sitting around at home all day long bored out of her mind, she’s VERY likely going to end up getting social media to have some kind of contact with the outside world, and now you’re legally tied to a pLTR in her favor. The best you can do is even the odds out with your own girls, but you’ve signed legal paperwork handing her all the power in the world to destroy your life if you miscalibrate at some point in the next 40+ years.

And none of this is even taking into account the social conditioning girls are receiving from an early age telling them boyfriends and commitment and monogamy are all a drag that keeps you from having fun going to Avicii concerts with your BFF girlfriends and hooking up with guys and you’ll be young forever and Amy Schumer gets the rich doctor when she’s 35 and shit.”

Or in other words, if you are a girl who wants to have a successful relationship in an era where more and more men are seeing trading commitment for sex in an era of free and easy sex and no fault divorce as a fools game, you should NOT play such games.

And the thing is, you may fall into playing these girl games without even realizing that you are doing it or why. Because women are hard wired to seek the best match possible (hypergamy). At one time, engagement/marriage was the end of that, largely because women who divorced without VERY GOOD reasons were ostracized. But not anymore. The removal of the social stigma of divorce and/or serial monogamy (moving from one sexually active “LTR” to the next) have removed the safeguards that in the past protected men once they committed to a woman that she would stay and be committed to him. Being conscious of said girl games and guarding yourself from playing them will set you ahead of the other girls who are playing such games. Often because dating and relationship advice aimed at women encourages such games.

In days past, men were the ones who were on the commitment hot seat. Not anymore. Today it is the woman who needs to prove her worthiness of commitment, not the other way around. Why? Because more often than not today women are the ones to initiate breaking said commitment, not him. And she will get plenty of support from society when she decides to break said commitment, unlike a guy who will still be shamed for doing so.

Many a woman today can be heard wailing, “Where have all the good guys gone?” But the truth is in many (most) cases, the actions of women themselves, the very real financial and emotional risks a man takes by getting legally entangled with a women via marriage and children, and the obvious societal support for women to hold the right to exercise moving on (or up) whenever she sees fit without condemnation or shame, have chased those good guys off. Not the other way around.

Why are the good guys dropping out? Because modern women are presenting them with a no-win deal. End of. Why commit to someone who always has the socially sanctioned and even encouraged option to uncommit to you? Instead, they choose to opt out by playing the “let’s not commit” game themselves.

So before we blame the guys, ladies, it’s good to do a personal inventory and ask yourself, are you playing girl games — and likely losing now that men are getting hip to these games? If so, perhaps it’s time to do and be different.

What do you think? Please share in the comments, while at the same time respecting the point of view of other commenters.

 

 

Alpha Siren Song

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 80 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, commitment, dating, love, red pill, relationships

I haven’t done one of these for awhile, but sometimes songs can illustrate the emotions involved in a red pill concept better than anything. Like this one, “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

She wants to love and be loved by the alpha and yet he’s wild and untamed and she’s afraid to believe it could be…the wall approach-eth…can she take the chance? Will he destroy her, or complete her? Maybe she has shit tested and lost? Did she blow it? Realize too late? Can she surrender? Dare she surrender?  He holds all the cards.

(For full effect play the video and read along w the lyrics.)

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Stevie Nicks and Bonnie Tyler

Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry
Turn around,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
Cause we’ll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turn around bright eyes
Turn around bright eyes
Turn around,
Every now and then I know you’ll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Turn around,
Every now then I know you’ll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turn around,
Every now and then I know there’s no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turn around,
Every now and then I know there’s nothing any better and there’s nothing that I just wouldn’t do
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you’ll only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
Cause we’ll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turn around bright eyes
Turn around bright eyes
Turn around

 

 

What Is A Red Pill Woman?

18 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill, Uncategorized

≈ 82 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break ups, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, sex

My apologies for not writing much lately, I have been busy with real life endeavors as well as enjoying some summer fun!

But to keep things going, I wanted to share an oldie-but-goodie post from the red pill blog “Married Man Sex Life” on the topic of what a “Red Pill Woman” looks like.  The entire original post can be found here: http://marriedmansexlife.com/2012/08/what-exactly-is-a-red-pill-woman/.

He lists 20 qualities a truly “Red Pill Woman” would posses: (Hope he won’t mind me re-posting the list here for ease of commenting upon!)

Have a look and share what you think in the comments!

“(1)  Understands that physical appearance and her looks are what attracts men’s sexual interest. She stays in shape and while every waking minute she may not be dressed to the nines, neither does she get mistaken for a slob. She “looks good for [insert age]”

(2)  Understands that all her skills, effort, kindness, intelligence and “inner beauty” et al, is what creates relationship comfort and makes her someone capable of having a functional relationship with.

(3)  Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.

(4)  Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do. That the point (1) stuff comes very easily to young women, and that the point (2) and (3) stuff pays off over the longer term.

(5)  Understands that men are the gatekeepers of commitment and that committed men place extreme value on sexual loyalty.

(6)  Doesn’t need a man to save her from her own folly. Will not tolerate a relationship with a man that requires her to save him from his folly.

(7)  Is aware of her own sexuality and understands what in a man attracts her and turns her on. Namely hypergamy, Alpha Traits, why she may Fitness Test and so on.

(8)  Can delay gratification. Can pass on someone or something that is fun for now, but painful later on.

(9)  Can articulate things that she did wrong in prior relationships. Even if the guy was clearly the greater cause of relationship failure, she can acknowledge things she could have done better, or differently. She can think consciously about her relationships, rather than simply follow her emotions from moment to moment. Has a learning curve.

(10)  Understands that relationships are not static, that effort and intention to maintain them is an ongoing requirement. That while she can reasonably expect the man to take the lead, that doesn’t mean he’s the sled dog and she can curl up and take a nap on the sleigh.

(11)  Expresses genuine relationship discontent, clearly and directly, allowing time to correct the relationship issue. Does not complain to everyone else but her husband, does not act out instead of addressing problems, does not plan and/or execute an exit strategy before stating her discontent.

(12)  Lets go of resentment for relationship issues that are now resolved.

(13)  Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.

(14)  Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.

(15)  Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

(16)  With her chosen partner, is deeply and passionately sexual.

(17)  Is aware of her own personal kink and can communicate her sexual desires. Takes responsibility for receiving her own sexual pleasure.

(18)  Has a sense of humor.

(19)  Respects the boundaries of other peoples relationships and doesn’t attempt to mate poach.

(20)  Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.”

It’s a high bar these days, for sure, but is a path less traveled that I believe would lead such a woman toward a lifelong stable relationship versus a lifetime of serial monogamy or casual hook ups and unstable pairings.

Anything missing? Anything you agree/disagree with? Do you know any women like this?

 

 

 

 

Flip the Script

22 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 51 Comments

Tags

bad boys, battle of the sexes, break ups, casual sex, commitment, dating, divorce, hookups, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance

Frustrated by dating, marriage, relationships, or lack of today? Try flipping the script.

Why? Pretty much the entire modern dating narrative is the exact opposite of what works!

For women: be feminine, follow the advice in this blog’s many posts (this being #200!), revel in your “woman-ness.”

For men: be masculine, and what the reds pill guys advise (I am not sure how to summarize that but feel free to try in the comments!), and revel in your man-ness.

There’s a lot more to it than this but basically what everyone else is doing, don’t! Do the opposite.

It could hardly be any worse than what is happening today, right? Worth a try! Trust me…what have you got to lose?

Please share your thoughts on what works or doesn’t about the modern day script in the comments!

Another SIW Tale

13 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 110 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, commitment, dating, hookups, love, marriage, red pill, relationships

I recently met another SIW, this one in her mid-40s. Yesterday she shared her story with me, an all too typical one. She was engaged at 22, but her mother advised her to break it off, “not marry until you are at least 30.” So she did that, went to college, built a high flying career at a well known tech start up you likely use everyday, was paid very well and got some gravy train stock options to boot, bought her own place, travelled the world, and told herself, “I can do it myself! I don’t need a man!”

Except about a year ago she started to have major regrets. She started to have panic attacks just thinking about her job, and decided to quit that and spend a year “finding herself.” She’s luckily in the financial position to do so, and yet a year later she’s still aimless and wondering what direction her life will take now.

She’s slim, active, attractive. She’s got lots of cool interests and hobbies. I don’t know her well enough to know how much she’s dated, or how long her relationships have lasted but she doesn’t speak of anyone in the recent past.

I wonder if like I once did, she goes on dates and talks about her career and her travel and her education rather than what the guys in the manosphere clued me into what men really want to hear — about how she loves kids, is a great cook, and all the other feminine/wifely qualities she has to offer? Because of course, women are taught those things don’t matter to men, when clearly from men themselves, they do. And that when she talks about her career, travel, and accomplishments, what he hears is, “I am not ready/wanting to settle down.”

She’s got two canine “fur babies” but admits she’d much rather have a husband and real babies. But what her mom didn’t tell her at the time was she would miss the maximum MMV (marriage market value) window. By the time she was ready to marry, no prince charming was to be found. The commitment minded guys were long ago taken. And the men her age who were single either have long since given up on gals and gone MTGOW or have been through the divorce wringer already and aren’t willing to go down that path again.

At 46, the likelihood of a successful pregnancy is slim and despite ernestly looking (she says, although I wonder if she’s looking in the right places and at the great guys so often overlooked in favor of the flashier PUAs) she has yet to meet a long-term mate. She seems to suffer from the common fallacy that the guys she could date short term (her SMV or sexual market value) were the same she could expect to marry. So like many women who have followed her path, she finds the guys who likely would be interested in marriage too “boring.”

I wonder if someone had told her that she was choosing a fork in the road back then, if she would have taken the same path? I wonder if her mom realizes how the advice she gave her daughter long ago was going to lead to no grandchildren and a possible spinster daughter? I wonder if her mom would give her the same advice then, knowing where it has led now?

I am not saying she has not had a quality life or that she has not accomplished anything. Clearly she has. She’s smart, funny, and a really neat person. And like most women of my generation, she was following the supposed “best path” for a woman. But like many women find at about her age, you can’t grow old with a career. Your job probably won’t be as satisfying as a family who loves and cares for you. If family is truly the path a woman desires, she is best to seek it early in life, not wait until the window of opportunity is rapidly closing, like the fabled grasshopper. In ten years she’ll likely find the tech job market has moved on without her, and that what came easily in youth may not later in life. And that those who told her, “you can have it all, you go gurrrrrl, there will always be time for that later!” were actually selling her an experimental, unproven product.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that one can’t have it all on demand. And that there might not be any going back. But one may not want to go forward, either. I hope she finds her way, despite the odds. I really do.

Let those who have ears hear.

 

 

Life Cycle of a SIW

26 Thursday May 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 67 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break up, break ups, career woman, casual sex, commitment, dating, divorce, feminism, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, remarriage, romance, single independant woman

For as long as I can remember, nearly everyone in a position of authority has advised me and other women of my generation and those who followed to craft a life as a “strong independent woman” or SIW rather than to follow a traditional path of marriage young and for life.

In theory, being a SIW frees a woman from the oppression and control of a life dependent upon a man. With her own education, career, money, and independent nature she can conquer the world on her own terms, thank you very much! Such a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, it was once said.

I know a women who is now in her early 60s who has followed the SIW path, an early adopter of sorts, and her story in many ways exemplifies the life cycle of a SIW.

In her youth she did marry to a charismatic “bad boy” and had two sons, only to find out a few years into the marriage that bad boys don’t change and when he tired of her, off he went leaving her alone to raise their two children. Back in those days mandatory child support and other things were not in place, so she was truly on her own.

She’s highly talented and so she channelled her energy into becoming one of the top interior designers in our area. She is yet quite a looker, so I can only imagine her in her youth. Doors opened thanks to her charming smile and crafty ways. She was on top of the world, at one point not getting out of bed for less than $10,000 a day in her early 40s. Life was easy. The richest people in the area courted her skills.

Then for reasons she has never fully explained, she decided to move to a South American country on a whim, thinking she could just take her talents and abilities along, recreating her highly successful career wherever she went.

For ten years she held onto that dream (and/or perhaps another bad boy relationship she’s never admitted to) that never materialized. In fact it only went from bad to worse as the years marched on. I followed her tales of struggle on Facebook, and even sent her money a few times when she was so desperately poor she didn’t even have food to eat.

She’s never outright said so, but she’s hinted heavily that she even turned to prostitution as a means of survival during those days. But what she didn’t realize was that even though her looks had always opened doors for her with men, other stars were rising as hers faded, and her ability to get men to do whatever she wanted whenever she needed was fading with it.

Two years ago, when she neared her 60th birthday she finally had to give up and moved back to the United States. She lives with her adult son and struggles to find even the minimum of work in the field she used to own outright. In her absence, other designers moved in, and now they are the talk of the town while those who used to vie for her attention barely remember her name. In addition, she does not have the ability  (or desire) to work long hours like she once did.

Her options are limited, and she knows she exists only on the good graces of her son and his family. But it is precarious, as his own marriage is under duress and his wife resents having the additional dependent, even if she cooks, cleans, and watches the kids. Her sons are not that bonded to their mother either, resenting how she often put her own life before theirs during their childhood, partly out of economic necessity but also out of her self-absorbed need to be the best of the best, admired by all.

She realizes now what she did not in her youth — being a SIW might be a whirlwind prior to age 40 or so, but the plan falls apart as a woman enters her golden years. Thinking the party would never end and that she could always support herself, she didn’t bother to save for retirement or plan for the years when she will not be able to work.

Prior to age 40 or so, she had many wealthy men who wished to marry her, in addition to many admiring lovers, but she turned them away not wanting to be “tied down.” Today, her chances of finding a husband willing to make up for her complete lack of assets at this point is slim, and even if she could find such a man, she’s so used to being alone I am not sure she could even make the transition from SIW to wife at this point.

In many ways, hers is a modern day version of the famed courtesans of the belle epoch period in France. Committed to no man, but lover of many, they also found the party came to an abrupt end with age, and many of those who once ruled the social scene and were quite sought after, pampered, and spoiled by their admirers often ended up destitute, alone, and abandoned in the end.

So beware, ladies, the siren call of the SIW life. Nothing is free, and there is always a price to pay for coloring outside the lines. Far better to find a good man early in life, commit to him, raise children, build a life together, and live out your golden years safely surrounded by the stable family and life you and your partner have built. Women who do so end their lives as the venerated crown jewel of their family, the adored matriarch.

Perhaps it lacks to dramatic highs and lows of the SIW life cycle, but as my friend would be the first to admit, better than facing a precarious crash landing just when one needs stability the most.

Let those who have ears hear.

 

The Power of Your Thoughts

13 Wednesday Apr 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 101 Comments

Tags

abundance, attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break up, break ups, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance

I am not sure if this is a red pill topic exactly, but I wanted to share something I believe in strongly — how thoughts and beliefs can powerfully shape your life and experiences — for better or worse.

For example, relationships. I’ve been a reading a book recently called, “Is He Worth It?” The book is about how to spot the men who are worth dating/marrying versus the men who are not. Something the author focuses on heavily in the first part of the book is examining how one’s thoughts are leading them toward the type of relationship they desire, or not.

For example, if a woman believes men can’t be trusted, that point of view will color her interactions with men leading her toward, not away from, men who will “prove” her point of view correct. She will attract untrustworthy men!

I have seen the same effect in my business and work. My thoughts and beliefs shape my behavior. If I think or believe things are not going to go well or work out, they don’t. If I think and believe things will work out, often despite some pretty impossible odds, sure enough they somehow do!

Many times I have literally visualized something into reality by wanting it so badly and focusing so much of my time and energy toward making the desired outcome materialize. People ask me all the time how I have accomplished and built what I have done, and it really is just this simple — I had my mind set on a goal and come hell or high water I just kept going toward it until it finally happened! I actually have several irons in the fire at the moment that are in just this category!

It’s a simple concept but one worth pondering. How are your thoughts and beliefs shaping your world? Are they getting you closer to the life you want, or not? Are they holding you back or pushing you forward? Are they mostly negative or mostly positive?

As they say, “Change your thoughts, change your life.” And I have seen it in my own life far to many times to believe it is a coincidence. Never underestimate the power of your thoughts.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Yes, I am Still Here!

02 Saturday Apr 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 344 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, feminism, gender, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, sex

Sorry, I have been busy with real life endeavors as of late and have not had much chance to write, or even comment! But rest assured, I am still here and all is well!

I have an idea stewing in my head but it’s not quite complete, so perhaps for now perhaps you guys can share some ideas for topics you’d like to see me tackle and discuss them among yourselves?  I’m all ears…

Have a GREAT weekend!

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