Tag Archives: battle of the sexes

Dating Dilemmas Decoded

22 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by in Relationships

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Ladies, if you find yourself puzzling over dating dilemmas such as what to do when a guy doesn’t call back, what men think about sex on the first date,  a simple way you can stand out from the rest, and more you’ll want to go to this informative dating blog written by a man cluing women into all those things about dating that never made sense, but suddenly will!

Now some of his advice may come across as blunt or even harsh at times, but if you take it like advice from a brother to his sister, his no holds barred, cut to the chase style becomes more a form of tough love to save you from many mistakes, broken hearts, and go nowhere situations.

In fact, I would suggest you go to this page that lists all of his posts, and start reading from the bottom up a few a day until you have read them all. By the time you do, dating will no longer be so much of a mystery and you will be armed with the knowledge you need to succeed in relationships, rather than wondering time and again what went wrong.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

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The Enjoli Girl

17 Thursday May 2018

Posted by in Fempire

≈ 92 Comments

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I may be dating myself, but when I was a young girl there was a perfume commercial with a very catchy jingle that pretty much summed up the times.

It went:

“I can bring home the bacon

Fry it up in a pan

And never, ever let him forget he’s a man

Cause I’m a woman

Enjoli!”

Granted by today’s standards this song symbolizing the liberated modern woman  ideal of that time almost sounds sexist. Were it rewritten today it would likely leave out the frying things up in a pan, or never letting him forget he’s a man, but trust me, at the time it was edgy.

Fast forward to today. Studies show women are more dissatisfied with their lives than they were in generations past, marriage rates at at a 93-year low, depression and other mental health issues are at all time highs, and things haven’t quite panned out the way they were supposed to.

So now what? When do we stop demanding more rights and concessions and change, and start realizing that’s not the answer? Realize that maybe the plan was flawed, and trying to have it all and all at once was actually a set up to fail?

I wish I knew how to fix this big old mess. I think talking about it openly would be a great a start. And admitting what was supposed to be the answer has actually led to other problems, more problems, unforeseen problems.

Trouble is, it’s taboo to talk about such things (feminism a fail?!?! What?!?!), but if we don’t talk about it, how can we understand it? If all the changes over the past forty or so years haven’t led to a better, happier life for women (or men or kids), where do we go from here?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Male Privilege

09 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by in Gender

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“Male Privilege is having lived one of the most dangerous and tiring existences in history and still being told that men have always had it easy.”

The quote above from an anon Internet source got me thinking… do women really want true “male privilege?”

The privilege to work long hours doing dangerous tasks requiring hard physical labor in all sorts of weather? Like my friend’s husband who is an electrical lineman, climbing poles to repair broken lines even in the middle of a storm with driving rain and 100 mph winds so the heaters and fridges and tv’s still work?

Or the privilege to be sent to war, drafted if need be? Like so many who fought and were either permanently physically or mentally disabled or killed in wars past and present, personally paying to protect the safety and liberty of all?

The privilege of being expected to throw oneself in harms way selflessly and sacrificially in the face of any and all natural disaster, strife, intruders, danger or threat of bodily harm?

The privilege of never being able to show pain, or weakness, or illness? Of having to remain stoic on the outside regardless of injury, hurt, fear, angst, depression, doubt, or other internal turmoil? Of knowing not doing so will more likely be met with repulsion or ridicule than support?

I could go on, but hopefully the point is made. Men don’t have it easier, they have it different. Any privilege they have comes at an equal or greater price. Perhaps there are perks to being male, but there are also heavy responsibilities. I doubt most women would truly make the trade.

I’d wager many women upset about male privilege and inequality only want what they see as the upside of being male, not the downside. But it doesn’t really work like that, even for the most privileged men, now does it?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

It’s a Red Flag!!!

28 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by in Red Pill, Relationships

≈ 25 Comments

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Along the lines of the previous “red pill truths/blue pill lies” post, I had an interesting moment the other day.

Myself and some volunteer and paid crew were setting up for the day ahead. We had hours of work to do, and not a lot of spare time to waste.

Anyway, in the midst of this somehow someone brought up a friend of a friend who used to be in a well known band, but who like many in that situation, lost it all to sex, drugs, and rock and roll living and landed himself in jail. Well he just got out of prison and is looking for work.

My friend who was working here and knows him suggested, “Wouldn’t it be perfect for him to come and help out around here? He’s so talented!”

I replied, “I don’t doubt he is talented but my current squeeze has already said, “No.”

Rather than that being the end of that, my friend and a blue pill male volunteer jumped right on it — “That’s a red flag! He’s trying to control you! Who is he to say who can and can’t be here?” they howled.

I was already annoyed because we were behind schedule, so I just said at that time, “You know what guys, we’re not having this conversation. The guy is not working here, or even coming here, end of.”

I don’t think I was too popular at that moment but just one of the many things I have learned from the red pill is to not listen to such garbage scare tactics, or to fall into those types of no win debates.

(Background, the gal is an attractive but headed for the wall 45-year-old anxiety ridden hot mess (financially and otherwise) who seems to have a crush on the musician and the volunteer is a blue pill guy friend who has a thing for hot messes, so he was likely trying to show just how great, sensitive, evolved, and non-oppressive of a guy he was!)

Later, once the successful event was over, I followed up on the conversation with both and explained my other half wasn’t trying to be controlling, he was trying to help me avoid a common weakness of mine, which is to feel bad for people and to try to save them when really they need to save themselves, just the same as I do, or any adult does.

I explained further that he felt having an unknown ex-con, recovering heroin addict around may not be the best choice for my business, or (even more impt.) my kids. There is just too much potential downside and really not all that much upside.

His were not the words of an oppressive, abusive brute who is just trying to isolate me. They are the wise words and reasoning of someone who is trying to look out for me and my kids, someone who wants to help guide and protect us from needless suffering and mistakes.

Perhaps it was the curt way I said it the first time, when I was thinking to myself, “less talk, more work, people!” but both admitted after I explained the above that it actually was sound, good advice.

And it is advice I am going to take, because the guy who gave it to me has stood the test of time. He has looked out for me. The times I have not listened to his advice, I found out later that he had been right. The guy is one of the smartest people I have ever met. Why would I *NOT* listen to him?

Actually, it’s the first relationship in my life where I have had someone really like me for who I am (even my imperfections) and it is the least drama, least controlling, least problem relationship I have ever had! Amen! Finally!

They may not get it, but he’s my chosen Captain and I am happy to take his direction because I know he’s got this! Anyone who thinks I am going to side with them against the Captain is going to have to walk the plank, because around here, mutiny is not an option!

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

Thoughts on Brangelina

26 Monday Jun 2017

Posted by in Red Pill, Relationships

≈ 54 Comments

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Regular commenter Fuzzie got me thinking when he said:

“Something about what Ame said bothered me and I can’t get to the bottom of it. One thing that has bubbled to the surface is that men are in no position to control or affect what goes on in a woman’s head. That goes further to explain why Angelina Jolie could dump Brad Pitt than red pill wisdom.”

I am not much of a pop culture person, but it’s hard to ignore when the latest is continually on the cover of tabloids as I stand in line at the grocery store.

First off, let’s look at the body language:

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In the photo with Jennifer, it’s clear who runs the show, and her emotions. He’s the one being adored, she’s doing the adoring. I bet she’s thinking, “Wow, I am the luckiest girl alive!” Note his devilish, “You know it!” demeanor. Alpha.

Now look at the image with Angelina. Who holds the cards here? She’s the eternal standoffish ice princess, and he looks worried and drained, somehow not pleasing her right or enough. See how his body language has transformed? Fear of loss. Beta.

Now these are just two photos but if one was to do a Google search, they are pretty representative.

At the time Brad and Angelina denied an affair, but years later they admitted it was hanky panky on the set of the movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith that started it all. Soon he left Jennifer utterly publicallyly humiliated, and then flaunted his new love. Soul mates, blah, blah, blah.

Then came the kids, in rapid succession. Both adopted and bio, the brood grew quickly and now Brad was in deep.

Angelina said in an interview how when their first bio child was born, a daughter, she couldn’t help but be appalled at her “privilege.” What an odd thing to say? That and the child has had her hair cut and has been dressed as a boy for long before it was likely the child’s choice. Odd.

Brad started to look more and more panicked as the years went on, and I could understand why. Angelina seemed to firmly run that show, Brad a mere appendage.

Their relationship broke many social norms at the time, and singlehandedly likely did more to move disposible commitments and children out of wedlock/babymommaism into the mainstream culture than anything ever had before. And it was all done so boldly, with no shame.

I imagine in time the truth behind the fairy tale love story act will come out. Perhaps in the form of a tell all book by one of the kids. But my guess is it won’t be good.

And despite all the proclamations that this was good progress, social norms best shattered in this modern age, guess what? It failed. Miserably. And with a nasty custody fight, complete with allegations that he was an abusive out of control brute.

It’s a good example of the difference in the relationship dynamics when he runs it versus when she does.

Moral of the story? Never stick your dick in crazy.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

A French Take on Feminism

30 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in Fempire

≈ 40 Comments

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Hello all, I am still very busy with real life projects but all is going well, GREAT in fact! 🙂

So to keep things going, here’s a video from Marion Le Pen (the even more outspoken niece of Marine Le Pen, who is running for the leader of France) and her take on feminism. Watch. Consider. Discuss.

Do you think she is right? Too much? Not enough? Please share in the comments!

Nature is Sexist!

21 Tuesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Gender

≈ 9 Comments

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There is a difference between sexism and biology. And before throwing down the “sexist” claim, it’s important to understand the difference.

Sexism is basically telling people (historically women) that they cannot do X, Y, or Z because of their sex. These things were possible, but due to social constraints were not “acceptable” and so they were forbidden. That’s sexism.

However, there are certain things in life that may appear sexist at first blush, but are actually biological constraints. These are not sexist, although they may be sex-specific.

Men cannot, for example, have babies. That is not sexist, that’s biology.

Or to make examining such things less heated, it’s often helpful to extrapolate from the animal world, from nature in general, to understand the difference between sexism and biology.

Besides the seahorse and Emperor penguin and a few other token examples, for the most part, by and large, it is the female of the species who does the bulk of the work rearing the young. Now one could fight it is not “fair” till the cows come home, but it simply is what it is.

Without mothering, most offspring simply do not survive or if they do they are confused and unprepared for what lies ahead.  Sure there are examples of animals who need no mothering or fathering (sea turtles, for example), but again if that’s the way they are biologically designed that is a far cry from it being a “choice.”

In the animal kingdom, none fight this. They simply go about life doing their biological role and everything works out great.

We humans, despite being the “most intelligent” species on the planet, seem to be the only ones who want to ignore biology and define it for ourselves.

It’s at most a fool’s errand. But people still do.

Let those who have ears hear!

Can you name some examples of this either in your life or that you have seen in the lives of others? Please share in the comments!

 

Thoughts on Gender Benders

24 Friday Feb 2017

Posted by in Red Pill, Uncategorized

≈ 41 Comments

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Over the past few years, the idea that gender is something one chooses rather than is has been increasingly directed at some of our society’s most vulnerable and impressionable — children.

Parents and caregivers are encouraging it. The media is encouraging it. Even public schools are teaching transgenderism (a.k.a. It’s a choice if you are a boy or a girl or one of the many other possible “gender identities”) in some states. But the American Academy of Pediatrics has drawn a line — they say such teachings are CHILD ABUSE. Here are their 8 reasons why. They say:

1. Human sexuality is an objective biological binary trait: “XY” and “XX” are genetic markers of health – not genetic markers of a disorder.

2. No one is born with a gender. Everyone is born with a biological sex. Gender (an awareness and sense of oneself as male or female) is a sociological and psychological concept; not an objective biological one.

3. A person’s belief that he or she is something they are not is, at best, a sign of confused thinking. When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such.

4. Puberty is not a disease and puberty-blocking hormones can be dangerous. Reversible or not, puberty-blocking hormones induce a state of disease – the absence of puberty – and inhibit growth and fertility in a previously biologically healthy child.

5. According to the DSM-V, as many as 98% of gender confused boys and 88% of gender confused girls eventually accept their biological sex after naturally passing through puberty.

6. Children who use puberty blockers to impersonate the opposite sex will require cross-sex hormones in late adolescence. Cross-sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen) are associated with dangerous health risks including but not limited to high blood pressure, blood clots, stroke and cancer.

7. Rates of suicide are twenty times greater among adults who use cross-sex hormones and undergo sex reassignment surgery, even in Sweden which is among the most LGBQT – affirming countries.

8. Conditioning children into believing a lifetime of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex is normal and healthful as child abuse.

I have never felt conflicted or torn about being biologically and socially a female. So I will admit, it is hard for me to relate to someone feeling they are not the sex they were born. And I am sure there are relatively rare cases (.003%) where it truly is the case, such as in people who were born hermaphrodites and whose parents choose at birth their gender, and choose wrong.

But otherwise, from the minute sperm meets egg, people are XX or XY. And that same XX or XY data replicates, along with the rest of their DNA, in every single cell of their body.

It’s not good or bad to be a boy. It’s not good or bad to be a girl. It simply is what it is. IMHO, it isn’t a choice. Actually it seems masochistic and self-loathing to fight it. There are lots of things we can choose about being who we are. I say better to focus on those, rather than spend energy on wanting to change something one cannot —  your own biological reality. Even after surgery, hormones, and other measures — you’ll never change your cellular reality of XX or XY.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

 

Head Games Don’t Pay Off

13 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Relationships

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I have written about my former neighbor I nicknamed Vixen before more than once. Last time I wrote about her she was about to have a baby, and was torn between the dad who wouldn’t commit and the beta orbiter who would.

The baby is now almost 10 months old and sure is a cute little guy! He has a very even temperament and is the “easy baby” all moms hope for. I think God knew what she could handle, and cut her a lot of slack!

She still continues to waffle between the two choices, never fully committing or detaching from either one. So things continue to be a cluster.

The other night I had a little red pill heart to heart with her, and explained that a big reasons she (and her kids) are in the situation she’s in is due to her fence sitting. In classic projection she’s the one who is really unwilling to commit to either path 100%, not them, and the longer it goes on the more damage is being done.

Honestly I am surprised they both have not given up on her by now, but from what I see both guys are willing to commit to her *IF* she would commit to them. But she can’t decide, and that is the problem.

The baby’s father has a great job but it is and always has been in a different state. He comes home frequently, but as he has explained to her multiple times if he were to take a job closer to home, he’d be taking a 2/3 pay cut as well.

He’s got an Alpha temperament and so the more she tries to bend him to her will, the more distance he puts between them. I have met him and seen them interact and she constantly “shit tests” him whenever he comes home for the weekend. His reaction? He doesn’t want to be around her, and so he leaves.

As I watched her once again bring up the tired old, “We wouldn’t fight if you were here, it’s your job that is the problem,” yada yada last time he visited, I could not help but interrupt, “Haven’t we had this fight already?” (Not to mention in front of myself and the kids!)

He’s made it pretty clear he is more than willing to pay her rent and commit to her *if* she will stop the nagging and fighting and would drop the orbiter. And yet she just can’t seem to stop herself, even when it leads to him breaking things off and dating other women for awhile, which he has done. He’s a good guy but he simply is not going to tolerate her behavior.

Her beta orbiter is also a great guy. But she says as much as she wishes she felt “tingles” with him, she doesn’t. He’s too available, too ready to run to her aid, too willing to put up with her nonsense. It kills  her attraction but he just can’t seem to stop himself. He’s holding on in hopes that he will be the last guy standing in the end.

During our red pill talk I asked her which one she wanted. She said the baby’s father, ideally, which I also agree now that baby is here and he is willing if she can learn to curb her tongue. But I explained to her he would never be all in unless she was too. And that means cutting off the beta orbiter and his “help” 100% completely. And of course all other potential orbiters or relationships with single men who are attracted to her.

I also pointed out that her behavior was driving him away, and that rather than fight with him every time he comes to town, maybe she should welcome him, make a fuss, treat him like a king, and not complain. Make her place somewhere he can’t wait to get to rather than run away from.

He’s got the opportunity to transfer to an equal job here within the next six months.  So I suggested she spend the next six months cementing the relationship than continue to play foolish games. Cut off the other guy completely in the meantime, as his involvement and help only makes things more confusing. She simply can’t have both. She agreed it made sense.

Then, this weekend, just two days after our talk she spent most of her time with guess who? The beta orbiter. Ug!

I didn’t say anything, but she knows what I think. She’s playing with fire and it’s going to end up with her and her kids getting burned I am afraid.

She has taken note of my own long distance relationship, also due to work constraints. Rather than fight with him and make it an issue, I patiently wait because I realize it is in both of our best interest he ride out the next few years to get a full retirement that will be a huge benefit to us both! In the meantime we are in frequent contact, never fight, and see each other as often as his leave time allows. On weekends I stay home and I stay away from “friendships” with single guys because I don’t want him to even have to question where I stand. I have chosen him and that’s that. I do all I can to prove I am a good bet rather than play games and try to make him prove himself to me! He’s all in, but I know he would not be if I were not, too! (And I respect that!)

The bottom line is men don’t share. They just don’t. And men don’t like a bunch of drama either. Her own behavior is why she is single and has a commitment from nobody, while meanwhile I don’t have a care in the world and all is swell! I know she’s watching how I am handling my own situation differently, and I hope it will click for her, although honestly there’s already a LOT of damage done in the last 2-3 years she’s played games. I don’t see how either relationship could ever be what it fully could have been had she not played games. I wonder if she will ever get that?

What do you think? Have you ever seen a woman try to run a relationship as if she is an Alpha male? Except she isn’t, so the plate spinning and jealousy does not work in her favor? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

(Personally I think both guys should RUN!!! But softie that I am, I still hope for her, her kid’s, and the guys sake she will figure it out before they do.)

Let those who have ears hear.