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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: burnout

The Enjoli Girl

17 Thursday May 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Fempire

≈ 95 Comments

Tags

anxiety, balance, battle of the sexes, burnout, depression, divorce, equality, gender relations, happiness, marriage, men's rights, modern woman, post-feminism, red pill, unhappiness, women's rights, working mom, working woman

I may be dating myself, but when I was a young girl there was a perfume commercial with a very catchy jingle that pretty much summed up the times.

It went:

“I can bring home the bacon

Fry it up in a pan

And never, ever let him forget he’s a man

Cause I’m a woman

Enjoli!”

Granted by today’s standards this song symbolizing the liberated modern woman  ideal of that time almost sounds sexist. Were it rewritten today it would likely leave out the frying things up in a pan, or never letting him forget he’s a man, but trust me, at the time it was edgy.

Fast forward to today. Studies show women are more dissatisfied with their lives than they were in generations past, marriage rates at at a 93-year low, depression and other mental health issues are at all time highs, and things haven’t quite panned out the way they were supposed to.

So now what? When do we stop demanding more rights and concessions and change, and start realizing that’s not the answer? Realize that maybe the plan was flawed, and trying to have it all and all at once was actually a set up to fail?

I wish I knew how to fix this big old mess. I think talking about it openly would be a great a start. And admitting what was supposed to be the answer has actually led to other problems, more problems, unforeseen problems.

Trouble is, it’s taboo to talk about such things (feminism a fail?!?! What?!?!), but if we don’t talk about it, how can we understand it? If all the changes over the past forty or so years haven’t led to a better, happier life for women (or men or kids), where do we go from here?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Help For Burned Out Mommies

10 Thursday May 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in parenting

≈ 60 Comments

Tags

burnout, modern parenting, mother's day, parenting, red pill, SAHM, stay at home mom, working moms

As regular commenter Stephanie recently wrote, as Mother’s Day approaches, she’s seeing more and more posts on social media bemoaning being a mom.

It’s a common phrase, “Being a mom is hard.” And for sure, there can be hard moments. But if you find yourself feeling it’s hard most of the time, chances are you may be a burned out mommy.

Many times it isn’t the mom part, as much as it is being spread too thin otherwise. Take a look at your schedule, are there some things on it that you feel you “have” to do when really they could be optional? Ask what you could pare back to take some of the pressure off.

If you are a working mom, chances are that alone may be pushing you over the edge. Over the past few generations it has become the norm that most moms are also working moms.  Basically that’s like working two jobs. No wonder these moms are so stressed out! If this sounds all to familiar, it might be time to reexamine. Before you say you can’t afford it, ask yourself what it is costing you, your kids, and your relationship to continue. Could you work less? Cut back on expenses? There are many articles on this topic online, and you might be amazed to find after you subtract out what it’s costing you to be a working mom, you aren’t really earning as much money as you thought. In any case, this is not meant to add guilt. Rather it’s meant to relieve it — maybe it’s not YOU, maybe it’s that you are trying to do too much?

Likewise, things like extracirricular activities and sports can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. You may feel like your kids NEED to do these things, but I would bet they would rather not do so much if that meant having more quality time with you and a happier, less stressed out mom! When such activities aren’t fun anymore, it may be a sign to take a break.

Maybe you are a stay at home mom? In this case, one reason I see moms getting burned out is because they spend TOO much time at home. If this is the case, look into low cost kid-friendly activities in your area. Getting out of the house to go to story time at the library or the local park doesn’t cost anything, but it helps break up monotony and not only gets your kids around other kids, you’ll find yourself meeting new people who you might share common interests with.  Sometimes just packing up cranky kids and going for a drive can be enough to snap everyone out of a bad mood. At the time it may seem like more work, but trust me it’s often a lot easier than staying home with stir crazy kiddos.

One more possible cause of mommy burnout can be a lack of planning. If you find yourself living in reaction to the day rather than feeling in control of it, this may be the cause. Sitting down once a week to map out meals, a few craft or play projects, some outings, as well as the things that need to get done like shopping and things around the house can help tame an unmanageable schedule. Knowing where your day is going right from the start can take a lot of stress off and help make sure all that needs to get done is, and that there is time allotted to do so.

Likewise, remember to take time to nurture yourself. Practice good self care: Eat well, get enough rest, make sure you are moving, and do little things you love to refuel your energy tanks so you can in turn nurture others.

In the end, while it may not feel like it at the time, the years your children are living at home will pass quickly. And those years will never come again. Fill them with fun times, happy memories, joy, and play. Not only will you find more days being happy mother days, you’ll be giving your kids a gift that will pay off for life — a happy childhood.

What do you think? Do you have any suggestions or insights on coping with mommy burnout? Found ideas that worked for you? Seen other people do something different that worked well? Please share in the comments!

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