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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: date rape

Consenting Adults?

11 Friday May 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 40 Comments

Tags

#metoo, casual sex, consent, date rape, dating, hook ups, hooking up, hookups, red pill, relationships

This article featuring real life stories of college age consent (or not) stories is a good illustration of just how blurry the lines can be.

In some cases consent is explicitly asked. Some welcomed being asked. Some found it unsettling, unnecessary, even off-putting. Even when directly asked, some still said yes when they wanted to say no.

In other cases no verbal consent was asked. Again sometimes that was ok. Sometimes it was not. Sometimes it was ok at the time but later not. Sometimes it wasn’t ok and that was ok. Sometimes it wasn’t ok but happened anyway.

In some stories one person wanted to say no but never actually did for various reasons. Out of politeness. Out of shame. Out of inexperience. Out of guilt. Out of habit. Out of resignation. In many cases the other party may have had no idea. And in other stories they probably did.

Some stories are confusing. Sad. Painful. Tragic. And some are good stories. Good experiences.

Overall they are a good illustration of how consent is not as easily defined, understood, given, or received as campus posters or talks may make it seem. In many stories the person themself is unsure if they consented or not, wanted to or not, were violated or not. Often the other person had no idea. Was never told of those thoughts.

Some stories were from the other side — of people who later wondered if they had missed signs of non-consent? If they inadvertently had violated someone? And in some cases how they knew they had.

As I read these stories one thought I kept having was how most of them could have been avoided by avoiding the situations and conditions under which they occurred. How not taking certain steps, actions, or crossing certain lines could have prevented them. And how maybe talking to young people about that might be the discussion that’s not happening.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

 

 

Reverse Sexism?

17 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Fempire

≈ 68 Comments

Tags

battle of the sexes, date rape, eye rape, feminism, hate crime, hate speech, Julie Bindel, rape, red pill, sexism

An article recently linked to a post by a feminist on Twitter claiming all men are rapists and should be shot.

Think about that. All men should be shot? All men are rapists?

Now imagine someone saying all women are (X) and should be shot. Or all people of color? Or all gay people? Or all transgender people? Certainly there would be an outcry.

Hate speech is hate speech, no matter who is saying it. And it’s not OK.

In fact, it’s more than not OK. Anyone (including women) saying such things are a threat to a functional and orderly society.

First of all, all men ARE NOT rapists. Clearly they are not. Rape is a violent and horrific crime and to call anything less than the true definition of  that “rape” minimizes what true rape victims have experienced. This is rape. A guy looking at you in the cafeteria is not.

As one commenter raised, just who did she propose would round up and shoot all these men? Would she expect other men to do it for her? Then shoot each other at the end? Or was she imagining some posse of women rounding up and shooting all the men? Who exactly is going to commit this genocide?

Thing is why is it commonly accepted that negatively stereotyping and lumping a group of people who share one common characteristic is not OK, unless that group is men?  How is that fair and equal? But it happens all the time, and nobody says a thing about it.

The crazy just needs to stop.

I for one acknowledge the many, many good men in this world. Wonderful men. Men who work hard to keep things working. Men who collect the garbage, fix the power lines, plumb the pipes, police the streets, defend the country, and all the other invisible and visible jobs good men who deserve respect and appreciation, not death threats, do.

The thing is, men don’t HAVE to do anything for women. They don’t OWE women anything. And the more women act so blatantly unappreciative and entitled, the less men will want to do for women. I don’t think that is in anyone’s best interest, including that woman’s.

So listen up sister — shut it! And perhaps you should be charged with hate speech and encouraging hate crime and lose your job and all status in society while we are at it. Just like a man would be.

Hate speech is no more acceptable from a “minority” or “disadvantaged group” than from a majority. And how someone who supposedly is for equality and human rights could possibly believe otherwise is beyond me.

What do you think? Please share in the comments, and remember to respect other commenter’s views even if you disagree. Thanks!

 

 

Is That a Yes or a No?

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Sex and Such

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

date rape, dating, hooking up, rape, red pill, self defense, sexual assault, yes means yes

Ladies, you may have heard about the new “Yes Means Yes” (YMY) law passed in California. If not, in short it says that on all state-funded college campuses in CA, any “sexual activity” has to be proceeded by a clear  “Yes” or it would be considered “sexual assault.”

Those who support the law say it will cut down on the number of sexual encounters under the influence where a person (assumed female) didn’t say “No” because they were too inebriated to. The logic goes if she can’t say “Yes” then it’s sexual assault.

Opponents say it could possibly lead to a lot of false allegations and will only further divide men and women.

I think it’s a bad law and I don’t believe it will prevent what it is intended to prevent.

First of all, many of the the terms used in the law, like “sexual activity,” are pretty vague. Does that mean holding hands? Kissing? First base? Second base? Third base? Home run? And what is “sexual assault” exactly? Rape? Any contact?

Second of all, whether or not a person (assumed male) crossed the line and what the sanctions will be will be determined by the college, not by a police investigation and fair trial in a court of law with guarantees of due process and all the accompanying checks and balances.

Now don’t get, me wrong, I think having sex with someone who is so inebriated (or for whatever the reason) they are not able to say “no” or “yes” because they are not conscious of what is happening is wrong. Or in more precise terms, having sex with passed out drunk chicks is not ok. It’s never been ok. (Nor is having sex with a guy who is unconscious ok.) Rape in any form is not ok. It’s never been ok. If someone is doing that, it should be reported to the police and prosecuted, absolutely.

But requiring there to be a explicit “yes” each and every step of the way along the continuum in any romantic encounter is simply overkill, not going to deter a true rapist, and is just not very romantic to be honest.

Ladies, your best protection against sexual assault and rape is to take ownership of your own safety and well-being, not to rely on outside forces to protect you or to set your limits for you.

For example, don’t drink alcohol in excess unless you are in a setting and with people who are unquestionably safe. Getting drunk to the point of passing out at a party where who knows who is there is simply bad judgement. That’s not me saying a person deserves it, that’s just me saying don’t do it. Don’t put yourself in that position. Don’t rely on someone else to make good decisions for you. You need to be ready and able to make those decisions for yourself. Own your choices. Own your power.

Likewise, you’ve heard this all before but don’t get in a car alone or go somewhere alone with anyone you don’t absolutely know and trust. Always take responsibility for your personal safety and take precautions to avoid situations where you could be at risk of sexual assault. Go out in groups. Or meet someone new in a public location. Let friends know who you are with and where you are going and check in with them for safety. Don’t let someone you don’t want to be alone with isolate you. Don’t leave your drink unattended. Don’t drink anything anyone else hands you. Be ready to defend yourself if needed.

And realize it’s a dangerous world. Bad things happen. Bad things could happen to you. Realize that you could get raped. Realize that YOU are the best person to prevent that from happening. Don’t leave that up to someone else, to school officials, to the government, to strangers, to outside forces, to chance.

Again, I am not saying that a girl who makes bad choices deserves what she gets or women who get raped necessarily made bad choices or could have avoided it. But I am saying that by making good choices you can avoid most if not all of the most common situations where you could get sexually assaulted or raped. And you should be making those good choices. That is your responsibility, as an adult. That is your responsibility, to yourself.

I know, I sound like your mom. Or if your mom hasn’t said this to you, she should.

Bottom line, laws like this operate on the assumption that people can’t handle freedom, so government needs to intervene. And guess what? That only leads to less freedom. We women wanted rights. We women wanted choices. We women wanted freedom. And now we women need to take ownership of the responsibility we wanted, not cry “victim” and look to outside forces to do it for us.

Let those who have ears hear.

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