Tag Archives: dating

A Visit from Hercules

10 Monday Jul 2017

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Hercules stopped by on Saturday with his new girlfriend and his roommate.

His girlfriend is what I would expect, young, blonde, petite, attractive, not very bright, and hanging on his every word.

His roommate was a very nice guy, not flashy, very average, well spoken, and friendly. The roommate drove a cherry 1969 Nova (SS, no less!) , while Hercules and his gal pal drove the roommate’s man cave of a truck.

We chit chatted a bit, caught up on the latest. All very friendly like.

Then, the room cleared out suddenly and Hercules got down to business.

“You got a boyfriend?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Yeah but it’s some long distance thing, right?”

“Yes,” I said. “And it’s going great.”

“Why don’t you come back to our place? My roommate is single and he wants you to come hang out.”

“Sorry,” I said. “Your roommate seems great, it’s nothing personal, but I am in a relationship.”

“Perfect. He doesn’t want anything serious, anyway. Plus, he’s loaded.”

I rolled my eyes. “You are missing the point Hercules.”

“Fine. Be that way.”

They discussed coming by the next day to help with a little project, and off they went.

Ten minutes later I get a text.

“My roommate wants you to come over and party.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I am going to stay home tonight, not feeling well. See you in the morning.”

“Oh geez.”

I call my boyfriend, and then watched a movie. Ahhhh… alone time!

Now, I easily could have gone. But why? Plus, I’d be an idiot to ruin the good thing I’ve got.

The next day they show up, just Hercules and his lady and we get the project done quickly.

I talk more with his lady, learn she is best friends with Hercules’s sister Venus, who I adore. (Venus easily could have been Playmate of the year had she wanted to.) Venus once said to me, “Nobody should ever date any of my brothers. They are all pigs!” So I figure the girlfriend has been told what she’s getting into. Maybe if so, it can work. We’ll see…

Then he notices my new riding lawnmower, and my now spare older one and offers to make a trade, some physical work needing done in exchange for the old mower.

“Sounds good, but I need to run it by my boyfriend first,” I say.

“Oh geez. Just tell him the thing disappeared.”

“Sorry,” I say. “That’s not the way things work.”

Off they go. I fill my guy in on all this, and he approves the trade.

Anyway, not sure there’s a point to this except I found it all pretty entertaining.

Beware “Friendly” Advice

29 Thursday Jun 2017

Posted by in Red Pill, Relationships

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Prior to the red pill, I would listen to advice from friends that I now can see was anything but “friendly” advice. Not that they meant to give me bad advice on purpose, I am sure, but in the end it was bad advice no matter what the intent. It’s something to be on guard against in your own life, too.

Well meaning blue pill people often give absolutely horrible advice, especially when it comes to relationships. I was more often encouraged to leave my marriage than to work on it, was told behavior was abusive and controlling when in retrospect I can now see that it was not, that being divorced would not be so bad, that when things weren’t easy it was better to just start over, and other complete nonsense.

As I touched on in my last post, even today people are all too eager to spout the blue pill party line at me, under the guise of  “friendly” advice. I am sure such people may mean well, but are blind themselves to just how brainwashed they are to see everything as abuse, control, and a red flag.

These days I am very careful who I take advice from. Unless they themselves are in a healthy, happy, functional relationship, I choose to say, “thanks but no thanks.” Because if they aren’t living it themselves, how could they possibly give good advice?

Likewise, beware the “hen sessions” made up of girls complaining about their lives and relationships. Such discussions will only leave you feeling dissatisfied, when in reality you are maybe just absorbing the toxic spew of others. Sadly, in my experience, church bible study groups often devolved into little more than a gripe session, and were often the worst.

Thank to the red pill, I am no longer buying such advice and my life is much better off for it!

What do you think? Have you ever been the victim of bad “friendly” advice?

 

 

Focus on YOUR Half

28 Tuesday Feb 2017

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Most of the couples I know who are unhappy make a common mistake — instead of thinking about what they could do to make their side of the relationship work better, they pick their partner apart.

I have had one woman tell me that, “She’ll try AFTER he fixes all his stuff first.” Really? And trust me she can roll out a list of things he does wrong, but is unable to see her own side of the dysfunction.

When the relationship is struggling, it is good to ask yourself what YOU can do to improve things, rather than focusing on what your partner should do or isn’t doing.

It’s nearly never 100% anyone’s fault. Man or woman. Many times there are things YOU can do to make things better, even if your partner isn’t. And change creates change. You changing how you approach the relationship will eventually force them to act differently, as well.

And the only thing you can control or change is YOUR SIDE of things, anyway.

And if the issue really is something there is no fixing, like your partner has a personality disorder,  and things don’t work out despite your best effort to make it so, at least you will know you tried.

Let those who have ears hear.

The Wide and Narrow Gates

21 Tuesday Feb 2017

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There is a passage in scripture that talks about the wide and narrow gates. And whether you are a religious person or not, I do believe the concept offers good advice on living your life well.

Most people go for the wide gate. It’s easy, everyone else is doing it, and when you do so you are in the majority. The wide gate is like a big tent, anything goes, nobody judges, and the standards are low (or nonexistent.)

Few choose the narrow gate. The narrow gate asks one to rise above their basest natures and desires and to forgo short term pleasures and ease for a long term vision aligned with Truth and doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do.

At first glance there are few drawbacks to the wide gate, and many to the narrow one.

But in reality the wide gate is the path of pain, disappointment, betrayal, anguish, drama, and loss — not only in some life-after-death way, but also very much in the here and now.

The narrow gate, at first glance costly, actually is protection against pain, loss, betrayal, hurt, deception, and the like. Today, in this life, right now. It is the path of wisdom, the path of self-love.

I have watched many friends take the wide path in “love” and to end up suffering horribly for it. Men who used them. Men who lied to them. Men who cheated on them. Men who gave them lifelong illnesses. It seems only in movies and fairy tales that the wide path leads to true love and happiness.

Taking the narrow path may mean not dating as much, sitting home on Saturday nights, even being made fun of for not doing what everyone else is doing. But in the long run, all that is a small price to pay for having standards that will lead to true and lasting love and happiness.

As I wrote before, bake cookies. Be that girl. And once you find love, stay on the narrow path. That would be my advice.

Let those who have ears hear!

 

Everything Old is New Again?

02 Thursday Feb 2017

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Perhaps I am just engaging in wishful thinking, but from what I see, it seems as a culture we’ve pushed the “modem, equal, single, independent woman” thing about as far as it can go. And it’s not working as described. So my hope is soon there will be the inevitable swing back to more traditional values perhaps with a red pill twist.

I think while many blue pill/modern women would misunderstand the idea if presented all at once (OMG, what are you going to do lock me up and take away all my rights?), I do think people are dissatisfied enough with the way things are going that they are starting to seek out answers.

And the older I get, the more I see there is wisdom in the old ways, in tradition, in men being men and women being women. And perhaps now that these “old ways” have been out of fashion for so long, people will be able to see them in a new light.

It’s kind of like the organic farming movement. On both sides my grandparents were farmers. They farmed organically but they didn’t think of it as “organic” it was just the way things had always been done. And for the most part it worked. It was hard work, but manageable on a daily basis, and they had more free time than many people do today, fewer worries, and a quiet but comfortable life.

They drank fresh raw milk, made butter, raised their own beef, pork, and poultry without antibiotics or growth hormones. They raised and canned or froze enough produce to easily eat well through the winter. It was like a hipster’s clean eating, free range, humane, organic dream come true! I am sure my grandparents would be surprised to hear people will pay $25 for one chicken raised the way all their chickens were! The only things I can remember my grandparents buying from the store were things they could not produce themselves: sugar, peanut butter, coffee, and a few other staples.

During the depression my grandmother says while they did not have money to spend on extras, they ate just as well and for the most part life really wasn’t that much different on the farm before, during, or after the depression. In fact my grandmother would fret about those living in cities, wondering what they would do if another depression hit? If they could not or did not know how to grow their own food and had to buy it all, she saw this would be a real hardship.

I hope that traditional male and female relationship dynamics, like my grandparents had, will become as trendy and hip as organic free range foods are today. Considered a “premium” in fact!

Dare to dream. I know some who are already living that way even if the rest of the world is not, and they are among the happiest people I know, with little stress, drama, worry, or strife.

Let those who have ears hear.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

Root Out the Misinformation

13 Tuesday Dec 2016

Posted by in Red Pill, Uncategorized

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Something I have written about in several different ways, but that I think bears repeating, is how my red pill awakening resulted in the uncomfortable realization that almost everything I had been taught about “how the world works” really doesn’t.

Even now I find myself having to be conscious of that old programming and not letting it back in.

For example, I was raised to not act or dress too feminine, because that was weakness and asking to be a victim. I was told to put off marriage and family, and instead to worship the Gods of education, career, and independence. I was taught men were not to be trusted, that they were out to get me, that they would oppress me and/or hold me back at every turn. I was taught children were a burden, they would keep me from my own hopes and dreams, and to put them off as long as possible if not indefinitely. I was taught to think, “Me first!”

Things is, I did all that and it didn’t work. If anything it lead to failed relationships, workaholism, disconnection, paranoia, and putting my own internal wisdom aside to follow the “modern” way.

If you have also been raised with some of this way of thinking, ask yourself, “How’s that working out?” And if it isn’t, start relearning what does work. Root out the misinformation, and do different even when at times it feels “wrong” or “weird.” Because it will.

Realize as you make new and different choices, others will try to push you back on the path you are abandoning. Look at their lives and ask yourself, “it is working for them?” before taking advice.

The good news is the ancient wisdom is in there. Trust it. Seek it. Grow. Share.

 

The Girl and Boy Games Start Early

05 Monday Dec 2016

Posted by in parenting, Relationships

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If you have every been around preschool or grade school aged kids, you may have noticed the girl and boy games start early. My youngest, now in grade school, recently encountered one of the trickiest girl games, and I have to say she handled it like a champ.

There is a boy in her class who right from day one declared he thought she was the bee’s knees. And beautiful. And that he loved her. And wanted to marry her. The kid is “a natural,” clean cut and good looking. He’s got game already!

Every day after that he waited for her to arrive. I walked her to class the first few weeks, so I go to witness his face light up at the sight of her, watch him rush over, say, “Hi” and then the compliments would begin.

Then he started to “kiss” her. He was savvy enough to know that rather than actually try to kiss her, he would make a little “beak” like with his fingers and peck her on the cheek.

“Momma, why does he do and say all that?” she’d ask me after giving her daily report.

Now before the manosphere perhaps I would have overreacted, read something sinister into it, worry that he would hurt my little girl. But thanks to the guys around here, I knew by then that nope, he was just a sweet little boy with a crush. So I told her just that, and said to be nice to him, and take it as a compliment, then say to him, “My mom says I am too young for all this.”

I was also tempted to ask him what his career goals were, or to see how many camels, sheep, and goats his family might have to offer. (Kidding!)

Now that’s not the tricky part, although navigating girl-and-boy games can be tricky indeed. No, the tricky part was that her friends who were girls started to get jealous and to wish this boy was crushing on them instead. They started to chase him at recess, and try to win his affections away.

But he didn’t waver. He had made his decision. I thought that was very touching, and that it showed him to be of good character rather than a gadabout. (I am a momma bear, after all.)

After a few days when I asked her how she handled it, the girl games, she said matter of fact, “I told them it is not my fault he likes me. And that they didn’t need to get him to like them, they just needed to find their own love of their life. And that he was out there. Somewhere.” The girls accepted this, and all remained friends.

Lol. Out of the mouth of babes! She’s spunky, that one!

If these two actually do end up getting married, I will for sure be writing a country song about all this.

Is the Red Pill Going Mainstream?

01 Thursday Dec 2016

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More and more often I am hearing red pill type thinking from people in real life who I am pretty positive have never heard of the red pill or visited the manosphere. And I mean so many times in the past few weeks versus the past few years that I can’t write it off as just coincidence.

The interesting thing is they seem to be of various ages and demographics, both male and female.

I am not sure if these people have always secretly thought this way, and the results of the recent election have allowed them to feel they can speak more freely, or if the red pill is somehow going mainstream and people outside of this little corner of the Internet are somehow picking red pill concepts up?

In any case I find it very encouraging. I hope it leads us from where we are now to something that is more positive and works better for men, women, and children alike.

I am curious…has anyone else noticed the same?

(We touched on this in the comments of yesterday’s post, but I thought it might be good to expand on that and the “Overton Window shifting” idea…)

Are Women Being Raised to Fail?

29 Tuesday Nov 2016

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Something I realized very quickly after discovering the red pill was that myself and most women (and men) born in after the late 1960s in America have basically been raised to fail in life and love.

Now I am not saying it was intentional. I really do think at least some people thought changing the social contract between men and women was going to be a step forward. Progress. Better. Utopia, even.

Of course others involved in the movement did so because for whatever reason the old social contract wasn’t working for them. Maybe they were trapped in a bad marriage. Maybe they had been abused. Maybe they were not attracted to or interested in men. But something all these women who started the feminist movement had in common is they were not happily and successfully relating with men, and so were they really in the best position to advise women how to fix that?

Pretty much all the advice I got growing up from multiple sources about how to be a happy, strong, successful woman turned out to have done more harm than good in my life and relationships. And as I look around at the other “modern” women I know, they too are experiencing the same.  Relationships not working. Priorities out of wack. Lack of balance. Workaholism. Unhappiness. Frazzled. Families falling apart. Dysfunction. Depression. Anxiety. Confusion. Etc.

My theory is that this is the blue pill version for females. Men were sold the “Be nicer. Be more sensitive. Be more like a woman,” line at the same time women were being told, “Be tough, be outspoken, be more like a man.”

Simultaneously, women were also being warned that men were the enemy, that they couldn’t be trusted, that they needed to always be financially independent of men because of that, and that they always needed to be on guard against them.

It wasn’t until I saw my babysitter living a truly traditional life that I actually saw how the old social contract worked, and worked pretty well. (You can read about her in more detail here.)

She’s always happy. She loves her life. She loves her husband. Her husband loves her. Their kids are happy and well behaved. She’s gracious and feminine and mild. And rather than treat her like a doormat, he cherishes her for it. She oversees the home and children sphere, he brings home the bacon. Of all the marriages I have seen, theirs has the least amount of discord or unhappiness of all. It works. It works really well, actually.

It’s something to ponder for sure, whether these social changes of the past 40 years have actually made life better for women. And men. And children. Or are things worse?

What do you think?