Tag Archives: equality

Are we Just Silly Girls, Or Not?

08 Friday Jul 2016

Posted by in Fempire, Gender, Red Pill

≈ 93 Comments

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A recent episode of someone getting off Scott free, seemingly because she is a girl and well while she was admittedly careless…that should be excused because…well…girl pass…got me thinking, how can women claim to be capable of being equals (much less leaders) when they don’t admit and take full responsibility for their mistakes? Or when society does not hold them to an equal standard, as well?

This builds on the last post — women need to choose if they are indeed really and willing to be full equals including all the downsides of that as well as the upsides, or we need to affirm that we are the weaker vessel and need/want the girl pass. What we can’t do is have it both ways, depending on convenience.

Personally, I recognize my limits. Not that I don’t take responsibility and accountability for my actions. I am equal in some ways, not even close in others. Such is life. And I am OK with that.

Discuss, debate… what do YOU think? And please, be civil to one another even in disagreement — it’s OK to agree to disagree. It’s not ok to attack, shame, name call, or bully. Not here, anyway. My blog, my rules! And I am waaaay too busy to babysit comments, so please behave.

Equal or Better?

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Gender, Red Pill

≈ 68 Comments

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Have you ever noticed that women tend to be very selective about which parts of the equality pie they actually want when it comes to equal rights?

For example, women want to be doctors, lawyers, or CEOs, but I never have heard any woman question why garbage collectors are mostly men, or fight to bring that ratio closer to 50%. No. Women don’t want the downsides of being “just like a guy” only the upsides, only the gravy, or for the sweets people, the cherry on top.

Well sisters, that ain’t equality! Simple as.

As I have written about before, men do a lot of the suck jobs and the boring jobs and the dangerous jobs and the hard jobs that make life work. And they don’t expect a gold star for it. (But a sandwich and a smile and a “thank you” would sure go a long way.)

Also note, equality is not the same as extra rights. People don’t like to play with those who demand they get every toy in the sandbox and that everything always goes their way. For many women equal rights seems to be translating into “I can do whatever the hell I want and if you cry foul, you’re a sexist hater!” (Or worse.) The oppressed become the oppressor. Again, that’s not equal.

Anyway, talk amongst yourselves 🙂 What do YOU think equality is all about? Is it even possible? Ideal?

Eating Crow Isn’t Tasty

22 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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Today I’d like to share a story to help illustrate a point. I’ll get to what the point is later, but first the story…

When I was 26 or so, I had the amazing opportunity to travel to China and Hong Kong with my uncle, who is Chinese, born in China, raised in Hong Kong, educated in the US, and married to my mom’s sister.

He is my favorite uncle, and I am so blessed to have him in my life and world. Thanks to him I have been exposed to a wonderful and beautiful culture I never would have seen otherwise. The Chinese culture is the oldest continuous surviving culture on earth, and radically different from our own. Thanks to him, I have had a “translator” to help me understand the origins of these differences, which I am sure otherwise would seem quite baffling. (The culture is group based, conformity based, community based, and many other things rarely if ever found in American culture which prizes the individual over the group.)

The Chinese are also, thank Goodness, infinitely polite and ever patient. My uncle must sometimes just cringe in amazement at his American niece (very much a proud and loud independent feminist minded female at the time).

But back to the story. So I got to go on this trip. My Uncle’s oldest brother was also there, he met us there (he’s a longtime resident of New Zealand where he settled after college.) We also saw and met many other family members along the way, including a sister in Beijing, a sister in Hong Kong, a sister visiting Hong Kong from Maryland, their mother, uncle, and aunt all in Hong Kong, and various other cousins and distant clan.

There were banquets and feasts and touring and a trip on a boat down the Yangtze (pre-dam) and all sorts of amazing, amazing things. A trip of a lifetime.

While in Bejing we toured the Imperial Palace, home to the former Emperors of China, and a just amazing, must-see place. It is HUGE, and goes from large public spaces, to mid sized official spaces, to private residence spaces, to the most intimate spaces only the Emperor, his servants, and his wives saw.

Anyway most of the trip my uncle and his brother did all the talking, planning, and navigation. My uncle was so young when his family fled the communist takeover of China that he only speaks Cantonese, the language of Hong Kong. His older brother, eight at the time they fled, speaks both Cantonese and Mandarin, the language of mainland China. Hong Kong and China are vastly different places, cultures, and such — truly fascinating. Especially then, when China was just opening to the West and Hong Kong had just reverted to Chinese rule from Birttish.

But again, back to the story. After spending an entire day touring and walking from the front gates of the palace to the exit at the rear, we were all anxious to get something to eat and get back to our hotel. Cab drivers were waiting right outside the gate, very boldly approaching groups and seeking riders. I for some reason decided to take charge. I choose the cab driver, my uncle and his brother (my uncles really) looked at each other with a knowing look, agreed, and we got in. I felt so proud of my independence and my ability to make my way in the world as a fierce and fearless female!

When we got to our destination, the driver informed my uncles the price was significantly higher than promised. You see he was not an official cab driver with an agreed to fare and government backed policies, but a hustler, and thanks to me we were in his clutches. My uncles quickly paid the higher fare with little arguement. Problem solved! Or so I thought.

Later that evening they very nicely and patiently informed me I owed them for the additional fare, as after all the cab was my choice, so it was only fair. Cringe. They were right and I knew it, so I forked over the $40 or so extra, which at the time was a big part of my “spending money” for the trip.

They taught me something without ever saying a word and it was this — I should have trusted them to lead the way and make the decisions rather than try (demand) to foolishly “prove” myself their equal.

Eating crow is never a fun thing. But I took my lumps and choked it down without complaint. And I learned something that day — men know a lot more than we women often give them credit for.  Listening and looking to them for guidance can be a wise strategy, but takes a humble and dare I say submissive frame of mind to yield, but it’s a lot better than eating crow. Try it sometime!

Or you can get used to saying, “Mmmmm, crow….yummy!”

What do you think? Please share in the comments!Eating crow

(And for a good look at the Imperial Palace, the movie “The Last Emperor” shows it well, and tells the story of how China became a communist country, as well. Excellent watching!)

 

 

 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

22 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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In the last post, the topic of respect came up in the comments, revealing some differences between how men and women view respect, and it was interesting for me to ponder both sides of the coin. And in many ways they are somewhat two sides of the same coin.

The men explained that respect between men is not automatic, it must be earned.   Something like this:

respect1

Or

Respect4

 

Women tend to view respect as a basic starting point of interaction, more like this:

respect2

Or:

respect3

In my eyes, neither viewpoint is “wrong” so much as they are a reflection of how differently the male and female minds work.

Men and especially groups of men seem to automatically think in hierarchies. In a room full of men, it is immediately clear to all of them (without anyone even saying so) where they  all “rank” so to speak in the order of males in the room. Seemingly subconsciously, the Alpha Male of the Group (AMOG) emerges, and the rest fall in line accordingly. There may be some posturing to establish this, but it ends relatively quickly (or if not, it’s likely they will spar verbally, physically, or both.) There is no debate. There is no discussion. There is no consensus. There is no vote. It’s not even necessarily seen as negative or a slam on the individual man based on where he ranks. Each man simply understands and *automatically accepts* his place in the order. Men who do not are usually ostracized from the group and considered dangerous or a threat to safety and order of the whole. Men who do not understand this hierarchy concept are generally not respected by other men.

Women, and especially groups of women, do not think like that at all. Women are all about consensus, inclusion, and making sure everyone feels OK and heard. Respect seems to be more about acceptance than rank in the female mind. Women will go to all sorts of lengths to dance around the idea of rank or hierarchy. Women like flat hierarchy and equality. Women often rebel against the idea of a vertical hierarchy, and tend to see it as “unfair.” (This is likely the line of thinking that lead to feminism, interestingly.)

Of course I am being admittedly heteronormative and general here — there are indeed men who view respect more like women and women who view respect more like men, but in the vast majority of cases I think one will find the ideas above apply.

I find it interesting to ponder how these two differing views of respect (both valid) may lead to all sorts of misunderstandings between men and women.

What do you think? How do you define respect? Please share your thoughts, experiences, examples, etc. in the comments.

You Are Not a Victim (Sorry!)

08 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Fempire

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Ladies, you’ve probably been told you whole life that because you are a woman, you are a victim. That you’ll have to work harder, for less, and still never be taken seriously because you aren’t a MAN.

Wow, that bites. Except you know what — it’s only true if you believe that it’s true.

Yep. If you believe being a woman will lead to your being harassed, assaulted, taken advantage of, underpaid, controlled, coerced, and unappreciated chances are those beliefs will turn into a self limiting, self fulfilling prophecy. And the only person whose fault that would be is your own.

At least in the United States, there’s probably never been a better time to be a woman from an opportunity perspective. If anything, one could almost argue that today, being a woman makes it easier to do or be anything you want to be than ever before in history thanks to programs and quotas and changes in the law implemented over the past forty-some years.

So do yourself a favor and drop the victim label (yes, even you Hill@ry!*) If anything, it will only hold you back. And why on earth would you want that? Personal responsibility — seize it, sista! If it ain’t working, try looking within.

And actually, I have never understood why women seem to think being a man makes everything so easy anyway. Believe it or not, it sucks to be a man sometimes, too!

—————–

* maybe it isn’t sexism, maybe some people (including women) just don’t want YOU as POTUS.

 

 

 

What Many Women Don’t See

29 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by in Fempire

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Something I have been pondering lately is what many women don’t see.

To be fair, I didn’t see it myself until running across the manosphere. Now I can’t help but see it everywhere I go.

Men. Doing the hard work that keeps it all going. Men hustling garbage cans from the curb to the truck. Men doing construction in the wet and the cold. Men pumping sewage. Men covered in oil and grime. Men climbing electrical and telephone poles in the middle of storms. Men doing jobs even the most liberated woman doesn’t and wouldn’t even want to do.

We hear so much about male privilege but we rarely hear about this other side, how many more men do the crap jobs, the hard jobs, the ugly jobs, the gory jobs, the dangerous jobs, the boring jobs, the non-glory jobs, the jobs that keep the lights on, the roads paved, and the rats and maggots and filth of living at bay than ever hold the title of CEO.

Then there are the deadly jobs. Men running into buildings that are collapsing and on fire. Men rescuing hikers stuck on a mountain in a blizzard. Men getting dropped out of helicopters in the most dangerous places on earth.

Yes, there are  privileges associated with being a man but there has also always been this other side, the side most women don’t see. The things women don’t have to see, thanks to men.

Women don’t see their own privilege. That nobody is demanding women take these roles, that quotas be filled with an equal number of women garbage collectors, for example. Men have never asked that of women, even of women who at the same time are demanding equality.

So before you say men have it so good, so much better, open your eyes, sisters. Check your own privilege. And start noticing all the things that men do so you and I don’t have to. Are you really so sure you’d want that to change?

Let those who have ears hear.

Men and Women: Two Halves of a Whole?

19 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by in Gender

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There is a concept in Chinese culture that has no real equivalent that I know of in the West, but it is a concept well worth pondering — yin and yang.

Yin and yang is difficult to really define because it can mean many things but in short it is like two parts making a whole, the up and the down, the left and the right, the night and day, the power of opposites attracting. Neither is better or worse, good or bad, right or wrong. They are separate but equal. And not only that, they need each other to be complete, balanced, whole.

In Western culture there is a more dualistic thought process, more like either/or. Something is either good or bad, either right or wrong, either up or down, either yes or no. There is no yin AND yang, it’s yin OR yang.

Dualistic thinking has its place, no doubt. However, as anything it also has its limitations. I believe a lot of the nonsense we have going on surrounding gender these days is related to the inability in our culture to see the strength, even necessity, of the yin and the yang.

Feminism, for example, seeks to bring gender to the middle, to encourage women to act more masculine and to encourage men to act more feminine. The obliteration of gender seems to be the ideal, the definition of equal. But is it?

Feminism also teaches that gender is a social construct, or in other words we are not born male or female, we are taught to be male or female. This implies that male and female are learned roles, not naturally inborn ones.

Well anyone who played peek a boo in preschool quickly learned that there are indeed differences between males and females. Feminists might say these differences are only physical. But are they?

An even deeper question is: are these differences bad? Good? Do they have to be either bad or good? Could they be both? Is minimizing or eliminating them the answer? Or is celebrating them?

Personally, I think it is a mistake to try and bring gender to the middle, to seek equality in the elimination of the yin yang element to gender. Androgyny? Blech.

I think women NEED men. I think men NEED women. I think men and women are attracted to each other because they are two parts of one whole.

Of course in today’s highly charged social, legal, and political climate, embracing the yin and yang concept of gender can be quite dangerous, costly, and damaging. The stakes are incredibly high. And they are currently tilted in (surprise!) the female interest. That’s why so many men are opting out, going their own way (mtgow.) And why so many women are wondering, where have all the good men gone? The good men understand full well the current sexual marketplace (smp) and marriage marketplace (mmp) and are just not willing to take the risk or have been burned badly already and are not willing to take the risk again. If I were a man, I can’t say I would not feel the same.

I vote we bring back women being women and men being men. The yin and yang version. Two halves of one whole, neither inferior or superior, different, but both equally necessary, each with their own strengths and weaknesses that just so happen to perfectly complement the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Imagine that!?! Viva la differance!

Let those who have ears hear.

What Have Men Done for You Lately?

12 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by in Red Pill

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Yesterday’s post at another red pill aware gal’s blog got me to thinking about where exactly women would be in a world without men willing to keep it safe and functioning?

Short story: In big trouble, whether women or especially feminist women want to admit it or not.

In the blog post linked above, the author points out that 412 of the 414 first responders who died on 9/11 were men. It’s a staggering number. 412 out of 414.

And the thing I realized after pondering that is it not only happened that day, but it is happening every single day. On the front lines fighting for our country’s safety or on the front line responding to 911 dispatch calls that there’s a burglar, fire, accident, or some other emergency — men are there.

I know it’s a lot more popular to bash men these days than to praise them, but think for a moment what it would be like to live in a world where when you called 911, nobody showed up? If there was no such thing as 911. If the only military or police forces around were corrupt and run by local warlords? If in your time of need you were on your own, sister, deal with it?

Likewise, imagine if all those job sites where men are building buildings, or those road projects where new roads are being built or old ones repaired, or when there’s a huge storm and a tree goes through the power lines, or insert major-infrastructure-of-any-sort here were simply empty — no hardworking men showing up in all sorts of weather making sure it’s all getting done.

Imagine of all the cargo transportation services, again overwhelmingly a male industry, stopped delivering. No trains. No planes. No trucks.

I could go on and on but what I am getting at here is when you stop to think about it, the answer to the question, “What have men done for you, lately?” is actually, “A heck of a lot.”

And I know, I know there are women doing many of these jobs and women are capable of doing many things, but pointing out all that men do in no way diminishes women, does it?

And let’s face it, women aren’t employed in huge numbers in these jobs by their own choice. Women by and large don’t *want* to do these jobs. But they need done. And men do them.

And I for one am grateful, and I hope I never live in a world where I have to wonder if anyone will respond when I call 911, or when our country is attacked, or when a bridge collapses, or when the power goes out. I hope I don’t have to take all that on myself, or let’s face it, more likely do without.

And here’s another thought, do men do all these things because they hate women and live to oppress them and because they think they are better than them? Nope. No they do not. They do it because they care about people, including women, because they care about society and civilization. They care so much they are willing to sacrifice their own safety and life in the process if necessary.

Huh. Isn’t that interesting? When was the last time you heard that on a women’s talk show? Or read that in a women’s magazine?

Of course sure, there are bad guys, and the hijackers of 9/11 were all male, and some men do indeed do bad things. But that’s a very, very small portion of all men actually. Most men are great guys, hardworking and true.

So as unpopular as it is to say these days, I am going to say it. Thank you, men! I couldn’t do it without you, and I wouldn’t want to. I appreciate all you do. I appreciate that you do it so well, it’s nearly invisible and seamless. I am glad I have never lived in a world without all these things you do, or had to wonder if you would. And I hope I never will. Thank you.

And you know what, it doesn’t take anything away from me or what I have achieved or done to say that. And it doesn’t put down other women, either, or mean I don’t also think women have value and need appreciation.

But in this blog post, it’s about the guys and me thanking them for all they do. They certainly deserve it. This one is all about them.

Let those who have ears hear.