28 Wednesday Jun 2017
Posted in Red Pill
Tags
battle of the sexes, blue pill, dating, divorce, equal rights, gender, red pill, single parenting
For decades, changing social norms have turned things on their head. So for fun, I thought I would create an interactive post where commenters can list the blue pill lies and/or red pill truths they have discovered. Please — add yours to the list!
24 Friday Feb 2017
Posted in Red Pill, Uncategorized
Tags
battle of the sexes, female, gender, male, red pill, transgender, transgender children, transgender kids
Over the past few years, the idea that gender is something one chooses rather than is has been increasingly directed at some of our society’s most vulnerable and impressionable — children.
Parents and caregivers are encouraging it. The media is encouraging it. Even public schools are teaching transgenderism (a.k.a. It’s a choice if you are a boy or a girl or one of the many other possible “gender identities”) in some states. But the American Academy of Pediatrics has drawn a line — they say such teachings are CHILD ABUSE. Here are their 8 reasons why. They say:
1. Human sexuality is an objective biological binary trait: “XY” and “XX” are genetic markers of health – not genetic markers of a disorder.
2. No one is born with a gender. Everyone is born with a biological sex. Gender (an awareness and sense of oneself as male or female) is a sociological and psychological concept; not an objective biological one.
3. A person’s belief that he or she is something they are not is, at best, a sign of confused thinking. When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such.
4. Puberty is not a disease and puberty-blocking hormones can be dangerous. Reversible or not, puberty-blocking hormones induce a state of disease – the absence of puberty – and inhibit growth and fertility in a previously biologically healthy child.
5. According to the DSM-V, as many as 98% of gender confused boys and 88% of gender confused girls eventually accept their biological sex after naturally passing through puberty.
6. Children who use puberty blockers to impersonate the opposite sex will require cross-sex hormones in late adolescence. Cross-sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen) are associated with dangerous health risks including but not limited to high blood pressure, blood clots, stroke and cancer.
7. Rates of suicide are twenty times greater among adults who use cross-sex hormones and undergo sex reassignment surgery, even in Sweden which is among the most LGBQT – affirming countries.
8. Conditioning children into believing a lifetime of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex is normal and healthful as child abuse.
I have never felt conflicted or torn about being biologically and socially a female. So I will admit, it is hard for me to relate to someone feeling they are not the sex they were born. And I am sure there are relatively rare cases (.003%) where it truly is the case, such as in people who were born hermaphrodites and whose parents choose at birth their gender, and choose wrong.
But otherwise, from the minute sperm meets egg, people are XX or XY. And that same XX or XY data replicates, along with the rest of their DNA, in every single cell of their body.
It’s not good or bad to be a boy. It’s not good or bad to be a girl. It simply is what it is. IMHO, it isn’t a choice. Actually it seems masochistic and self-loathing to fight it. There are lots of things we can choose about being who we are. I say better to focus on those, rather than spend energy on wanting to change something one cannot — your own biological reality. Even after surgery, hormones, and other measures — you’ll never change your cellular reality of XX or XY.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
07 Wednesday Dec 2016
Posted in Fempire
A recent post by a commenter got me thinking… Does feminism actually say boys are better?
On the surface one would likely say, “Of course not!” It’s all about building women up, right? It’s about girl power!
Except feminism largely pushes girls to be more like boys. Hummm. That’s odd.
Girls are told to act less like girls. Dress less like girls. Avoid activities and topics that are deemed, “girl stuff.” To shun traditional girl roles in favor of more masculine ones.
When you think about it, doesn’t feminism actually encourage women (starting as girls) to ape traditionally male behavior rather than celebrate the uniqueness of being female?
I would agree with feminism that boys are better… at being boys. Women, however, are better…at being women.
But in a world where boys have been encouraged to act more “female” and girls have been encouraged to act more “male” for decades now, isn’t that counterproductive? What’s so wrong with boys being boys and girls being girls? Men being men and women being women?
Personally, I like being female. I don’t consider it a disadvantage. I don’t consider it a bad thing. I don’t consider myself “lesser” because of it. I don’t feel like I am a victim. I don’t feel held back. I don’t feel like I have missed out. I don’t want to be “something else.”
Why would feminists insist I (and other women) should see it otherwise?
Hummm….
28 Sunday Aug 2016
Posted in Gender
A comment on the last thread by Sergey points out one of the biggest issues with the “modern woman” script: In youth, the world is her oyster. Anything is possible, options are all open. But then unexpectedly it tops out around age 35. Once one is no longer a young woman, the path becomes murky… where does the path go from here?
He says:
“It’s the best time ever for Western women in their 20s/early 30s. After that, though, the options are the following:
* spinster – crushing loneliness and a feeling of self-inadequacy for most, except radical egoists;
* single mom – financial and emotional strains, a risk of problematic child, a sense of life wasted on upbringing the kids;
* divorcee – effectively one of the above, with bitterness of life wasted on wrong mate/stupid breakup on a whim;
* having a committed partner, without kids – generally trying to conceive, due to the strong social/biological pressure and time until fertility window close running out fast; child-free variety is probably one of the happiest combination;
* having a committed partner, with kids, without career – with life embittered by the sense of missing something other women presumable have (“a care-free single life”, professional achievements etc) – thanks to all that lib-fem messages they are daily bombarded with;
* having a committed partner, with kids and a career – have-it-alls; they have their problems as well, all too common self-shaming of “being a bad mother”, envy to ‘care-free’ lives of single women etc.
Self-contradicting mix of social messages sent to women by society (mostly other women, both “progressive” and “conservative”) seems to cause much harm. The lack of it, a sort of ‘each to her own’ relativism is no better: seems that women are somewhat wired to external validation, and the lack of praise/shame feedback to their choices confuses females even more.”
At one time the female life path was fairly defined. She’s a girl, a maiden, a young woman, a wife, a mother, an empty nester, a grandmother, a matriarch.
Yes the choices were limited, but perhaps that is as liberating as stifling? Studies show the more choices we have, the less satisfied we become, ironically. Without a clear path… is modern woman lost in the wilderness?
What do you think? Please share in the comments (while respecting the viewpoints of others.)
20 Monday Jun 2016
Posted in Relationships, Sex and Such
Tags
androgeny, attraction, battle of the sexes, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, feminine wiles, femininity, gender, happiness, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, true love
Over the past 40 years, traditional feminine qualities such as beauty, grace, domesticity, charm, chastity, and being “girly” have been increasingly vilified in a similar way that masculine traits have been vilified for men and boys (but ironically encouraged in women and girls!)
Women and girls are told that acting feminine will lead to them being objectified, oppressed, overlooked, and disempowered. Instead women are encouraged to be strong, independent, self-sufficient, aggressive, tough, and more.
Well, let me let you in on a little secret — for females femininity and feminine traits ARE power! Yep.
And I am not the only one to think so. In fact this was reconfirmed yesterday as I listened to a podcast by a woman who bills herself as a “modern day courtesan.” This woman is in no way “red pill” and yet her message was similar — if you want to succeed in love and romance, be MORE feminine!
To clarify, a courtesan is not a call girl, escort, or prostitute (they sleep with men for money, any man, with no expectations of him beyond the encounter) and it’s not just about sex. A courtesan is a long term companion who is financially supported by her admirer/s, sometimes in an exclusive monogamous relationship or sometimes in a few non-exclusive but ongoing and long term committed relationships.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating a courtesan lifestyle, but I do think her message was dead on as far as feminine wiles being a core part of female strength, and one women should not be afraid of. Her advice would be just as appropriate to apply within a marriage or long-term relationship as in a courtesan one — in short, the path to happiness, love, and romance is paved with female charms.
Some of her advice? Be happy and light. Laugh. Flirt. Look for ways to bewitch your partner and draw him in. Enjoy adorning yourself. Dress well. Learn how to use make up and other beauty products to your best advantage. Don’t overwork yourself. Learn how to be seductive (not the same as slutty, the opposite actually!) Be mysterious in a good way. Educate yourself on current affairs and a wide range of topics so you can be a charming conversationalist. Understand you may draw a man in because he is initially interested in sex (not too fast, ladies! Anticipation is your friend), but you will keep a man by seducing and connecting with his mind. Study your man’s personal favorite female qualities and work those to your advantage. Don’t be pushy or demanding, but instead coax his cooperation and devotion with your feminine wiles. Wear pretty undies. Let him take care of you. Be a refuge for him, a place he cannot wait to run to. Forgo “broken men” who do not and cannot truly appreciate and love, love, love the feminine. Be a lover of the masculine, as well. Be the kind of woman he can’t bear to live without. And more.
It all sounded like good advice to me. What do you think?
09 Monday May 2016
Tags
abuse, battle of the sexes, break ups, commitment, dating, divorce, emotional abuse, gender, love, male emotions, malemental health, men, men and depression, men and emotions, physical abuse, red pill, relationships, verbal abuse
Before I started following the manosphere, I pretty much believed the main stream media’s portrayal of male emotions — meaning namely that men have fewer emotions than women.
Turns out, it’s not true. Men actually feel emotions very deeply, perhaps even more deeply than women. But how those emotions are processed and expressed is different, so on the surface this can give the appearance that men do not have the emotional depth or breath that women do. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Women tend to express emotions outwardly, talking freely to friends, family, and others about their emotions. Men tend to express their emotions inwardly, presenting a stoic face to the world even when inside they may be feeling anything but.
According to the “Mental Health” chapter of a book I have been reading, “Is He Worth It: How to Spot the Hidden Traits of a Good Man” by Shawn T. Smith, PhD, statistics show that more women than men are diagnosed with and on treatments for mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. This on the surface seems to suggest that women have more mental health issues than men.
But the author goes on to explain when one looks at the bigger picture, men are more likely to engage in substance abuse (alcohol, food, gambling, drugs, etc.) and are a full four times more likely than women to commit suicide. When these factors are taken into account, women and men struggle with these issues at about the same overall percentages, he says.
The difference? Women are more likely to reach out to their doctor or to a mental health specialist for medication and/or therapy when they are feeling anxiety or depression than a man, while men are more likely to self medicate and/or (tragically) commit suicide as a way to cope with their depression or anxiety.
It’s unclear if this is due to a gender difference, a social acceptance difference, or a combination of factors. In general women reach out to others for support, mainly other women. Men often only reach out to their own partner for emotional support, and less frequently to other men or family members.
It’s important for women to understand these differences because many times what seems like relationship problems, a man who is grouchy, sullen, and non-responsive, and/or engaging in substance abuse despite thing seemingly going relatively OK, can often be the result of his feeling anxiety, depression, hurt, or fear in other areas in his life, such as at work, and those emotions are then translated into emotions such as anger or moodiness.
Too often women respond to the expressions of anger and moodiness by internalizing them, thinking it is about the relationship, when in fact it may be completely unrelated. I have personally experienced this, and have seen it in other couples. I have even seen this misunderstanding between male and female emotions lead to unnecessary divorce.
Instead, a woman can and should step back, not take such expressions personally, but consider if in fact they may be signs her man is struggling with anxiety, depression, fear, or hurt in some area of his life. In this case, instead of engaging in conflict with him, taking a patient and empathetic approach combined with and some probing and problem solving may be a far more productive/constructive.
In other words, be a helpmate. Be on his team, rather than adding to his stress. You may be able to help. Or what may be needed is time for him to work it out with your support.
Maybe he needs to consider changing jobs? Maybe he is under too much financial pressure? Maybe he is under too much physical or psychological pressure? Maybe he needs to identify the cause and make some positive life changes that will lead to a resolution of the cause of his struggles?
I hate to admit this but it is true, when I was young and newly married, I almost entirely only considered my own experience, as many women do. What a mistake. I wish I had known this information earlier in life, so I could have been a help to my then husband in his struggle with his feelings about being in a dead-end, no-win, taken for granted job despite his being an excellent worker as well as understood better how his ex girlfriend cutting off contact between him and the child they had as teens were the cause of his drinking and detachment. Instead, like many women do, I was clueless he was even feeling those emotions and just assumed his moody, grumpy, sullen attitude was because he was unhappy with me.
Unfortunately this profound misunderstanding was a big cause of our marriage falling apart, because rather than realize he had for over 10 years been struggling internally with some very powerful emotions, I just assumed when no matter what I did things did not improve, that he just didn’t care to work on “our” problems.
Shortly after our divorce the company he worked for sold to another and he is now one of the most valuable members on their team. So much so the owner has taken him under his wing and is grooming him to be his successor. He’s finally being recognized as the true, loyal, hardworking employee he has always been. He’s also quit drinking, and has been clean and sober for many years. He reunited with his now grown son, and they have a relationship that brings them both great joy. He’s also remarried now, and he seems to be happily so.
I often ask myself “what if?” What if I had understood? What if I had reacted differently? What if I had waited just a little bit longer? But the truth is, I will never know. I can’t go back in time and undo what has been done. All I can do is acknowledge it, learn from it, and do different going forward. And I also hope my sharing this can perhaps help other women (and men) avoid the same outcome.
In short, men do have very deep emotions. When they are grouchy, sullen, angry, or withdrawn it’s often because he’s struggling with those emotions internally. Rather than add to his struggle, do your best to lighten it and to be a point of joy and refuge in his life. Men need their woman to be that.
Perhaps the men here would like to share… is this so, or if not, please share how so in the comments.
The more I learn, the more I see that men and women do not have to be enemies. In fact, I believe that together, as true partners, life is easier for both. It’s too bad society promotes a battle-of-the-sexes approach to remlationships, rather than a collaborative one. Luckily couples in the know can choose to be a team, rather than to be on opposite teams.
—————————–
(Please note: I am NOT recommending women silently endure abusive behavior from her man in hopes that things will improve. The above is referring to normal levels of anger, sullen, grouchy male behavior, not ongoing physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. Likewise, men should not endure abusive behavior from women “because of emotions” either.)
29 Friday Apr 2016
Posted in Red Pill
Tags
battle of the sexes, blue pill, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, feminism, gender, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance
Now it’s been said that women have no place in the manosphere, nor can they comprehend or be red pill. I can see the point, and mostly agree. Manosphere sites are for men, and women should respect those male only spaces, just as we would expect men to respect women only spaces.
However I have myself learned tremendously from my exposure to the manosphere and the red pill, and so I am not so sure I would say women being exposed to these ideas is without merit. In fact, I know that for me personally it has entirely changed how I live my life and approach the world — for the better!
I was just as clueless, perhaps more, as anyone when I stumbled across the red pill. I was drinking the mainstream media kool aide and believed pretty much all of it. It had never even occurred to me that perhaps those facts might be skewed to support an unspoken agenda that was in turn destroying the relationships between men and woman, and destroying families.
I was horrified. But I could also see it was true. I wish more people understood how our “modern way” of thinking is leading us as a society right toward a cliff.
But there are no sites, or few, where women can be exposed to these ideas that could help improve gender relations and help get things back on track. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons I started this very site — to provide that place where women (and men) can learn about a different path. A path back toward men being men and women being women.
And in turn, then those women (and men) can raise the next generation without all this social experiment nonsense that was foisted upon my generation — the idea that gender is a social construct and that being the same is the answer. Men and women are not the same. They are uniquely suited to play a role, with strengths and weaknesses, and they are in my humble opinion two parts of a whole.
My advice to the women who come here and to the manosphere in general would be to listen, truly listen, to what these men are saying. Put yourself in their shoes. See the damage that has been done. Understand the anger, frustration, and pain. And then be and do different than the average women. Rather than argue with them, or defend yourself and claim, “I am not like that” realize that on some level, yes you are. But you have a choice. Become aware of where women fall, and guard yourself. Use it to become a better woman. Then, teach other women to be better women, too.
19 Tuesday Apr 2016
Posted in Red Pill
Tags
abundance, attraction, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, gender, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance
I have this friend, who is also a therapist, who often says very profound stuff.
One day, he said this:
“When you are sick, you are drawn to the pain. When you are healthy, you are drawn to the love.”
Ommmmm.
Ponder. Share. Discuss.
02 Saturday Apr 2016
Posted in Red Pill
Tags
attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, feminism, gender, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, sex
Sorry, I have been busy with real life endeavors as of late and have not had much chance to write, or even comment! But rest assured, I am still here and all is well!
I have an idea stewing in my head but it’s not quite complete, so perhaps for now perhaps you guys can share some ideas for topics you’d like to see me tackle and discuss them among yourselves? I’m all ears…
Have a GREAT weekend!
24 Thursday Mar 2016
Posted in Red Pill
I don’t know exactly when it started, but there’s a saying that captures perfectly something I’d like to talk about today — “The battle of the sexes.”
This phrase, and I believe our culture in general, holds this view that men are out to get women, and women are out to get men, and that both genders have to always be on guard against the other in some type of epic never ending battle.
But what if they didn’t? Imagine how much nicer of a place the world would be!
And you know what, I have come to realize there is no battle of the sexes. It’s all a big scam. There is no need for a battle of the sexes. So I say let’s forgo it! Let’s start to approach each other and the world with the assumption that the other gender is not out to get you. Today. Right now. Right here.
Much of the confusion is caused by this — regardless of what “gender is a social construct/something you learn not something you are” people say — the male and female minds operate drastically differently. That doesn’t make either one “right” or “better” or whatever, but to deny this basic fact is the root I believe of much of the trouble.
When I started to visit Red Pill and manosphere blogs, I immediately noticed this. Luckily I have spent a lot of time around guys and I could see immediately that while what they were saying on first glance came across as very raw and even offensive, in reality what I was seeing is this is how guys talk to each other, all the time, every day — and they don’t get upset with each other about it! Male communication is very straightforward and there is little “sugar coating” involved. Men speak in generalities, and they rarely take personally what another man says. (Women rarely see this “man to man” communication style, because we usually can’t handle it! So to be able to see it, to hear what men TRULY think and what they will say to each other when we women aren’t around, is actually a rare and wonderful gift!)
Women communicate very differently. Women are masters at the unsaid, the implied, the indirect, and the smoothed over. When women talk to each other, they rarely directly confront each other, call each other out, or just say it like it is. In female communications, doing so would be considered highly unacceptable. Female communication is all about the nuances, and there is usually a lot of sugar coating involved. Women speak in anecdotes, and they often run what is said through a filter that translates that to a personal level, thinking if it’s not true for them, then it is not true.
The trouble often starts when men and women try to talk to each other in their own natural style (which of course they naturally do!) Especially so when the topic is a highly charged one — such as male and female intergender dynamics, relationships, love, and the like. Those conversations are sorely needed, and can be very interesting, but when those participating forget they are speaking to a mixed-gender group, unintended trouble can begin.
(For example, in my real life I work with a woman who is always pondering divorce, even though in reality she has very little in life to complain about, and I have probed and asked her to be sure before coming to this conclusion. I worry she will blow up her marriage, only to find “Eat, Pray, Love” is a bad life strategy, not to mention she would also blow up the lives of her four children in the process, for very minor reasons. Anyway, once her husband and her were here, and we were talking, and red pill type stuff came up. I could see she just didn’t understand what he was saying, and rather than realize he was speaking in general, she was taking it all personally and getting upset. I started to serve as a translator, rephrasing what he was saying into “girl talk.” It worked! She got it finally, and he was amazed that I understood. He literally said, “See, that’s what I have been TRYING to say all this time!” Their problem is mostly one of not understanding the communication styles of the other gender. They don’t need to divorce (or frivorce), they need to learn the other’s language!)
I started this blog to try and help translate Red Pill concepts into a language that would be understandable and unoffensive to female readers, as I strongly feel women are not getting this information elsewhere in many cases, and also because (let’s face it) if they read the Red Pill and manosphere blogs by men and for men, they would absolutely freak out and so much so they would likely be unable to see the forest from the trees, to absorb the information that could be so helpful to men and women struggling in relationships today, and more than likely they would reject it altogether.
That’s why the tone here is vastly different from other Red Pill blogs, and why for the most part in the comments it’s much less of a lunchroom food fight, no holds barred, discussion. My hope is that it can be a place where men and women can come together, have these discussions, and walk away with a better understanding and appreciation for each other, and the concepts of the Red Pill.
Discussing Red Pill topics is in itself another hurdle, as many people would almost rather do anything than look at the sometimes ugly truths about human beings and human nature that it reveals. People would rather believe “it’s not like that” or “I’m not like that” much of the time, than to admit what one who is truly looking can plainly see, on a macro level in our society today — there’s a lot of problems and things that aren’t working. The Red Pill is pointing out that the Emperor has no clothes while for the most part the rest of the world claps and cheers the Emperor’s new suit!
Facing the Red Pill means letting go of the coping mechanisms, denial, pretty little lies, and social salve we rely on to get through the day in an unfair, unjust, often brutal world.
I would like for this to be a place we lay down our weapons, check our guns at the door, assume the best not the worst, and try to extend love and understanding toward each other even when we disagree. Even when we don’t like what is said. Even when we don’t like what we hear.
And the reality is, I have very little time to monitor the comments in this blog. I have an extremely busy real life, and while I do this because I feel passionately that it needs doing, I do not get paid for this and every minute I spend here is a minute taken away from my family and my work. So if for no other reason, please behave yourselves because I don’t have the time to translate, shepherd, or oversee each and every comment. I read them all, but as of late I am spending way too much time trying to keep the comments from melting down and I really don’t like that. You are all my guests here, in my virtual living room, please do your best to match the tone I try to set myself in your comments and discussions with each other.
Some of us have been around here a long time, even longer than me. I would advise newcomers listen to what they have to say, as they have a lot of experience and knowledge to share, male and female alike, and like me they deeply want to share it, they really want to help make the world a better, more functional place. We try to remember that some here may not have any background in the Red Pill, and we are more than willing to share and teach concepts we have discussed over and over before, but not with those unwilling to listen or even consider the Red Pill point of view objectively.
Some are just stumbling across the ideas we discuss here, like I once did, like everyone here once did. (To me, it was shocking, horror! But I also knew deep down, there was truth being shared. I am glad I stayed to listen and learn.) To you I would advise resisting the urge to debate or correct every statement made, but simply to ponder it, share your opinion if you like, be willing to ponder what is said about your opinion, and try to go with the flow, fitting into the “culture” you are visiting rather than try to change it. If you don’t like what you hear here, that is fine. If it offends you highly, simply please just move along and find a blog you do agree with rather than hijack our discussions and disrupt them.
Ladies, I want you to comment here. I want you to learn these things that have helped me so much. But please also realize that when you first begin to comment here, men will likely automatically assume you are a troll or that you are here to argue and fight. Far too often, that is the case, and so that’s why until you prove yourself otherwise, that’s likely how you will be viewed. Prove them wrong by being a lady. Don’t take it personally. Men have to prove their worth before being taken seriously by other men all the time. Again, it’s a gender thing!
I think we could all learn a lot from each other, if we extend the olive branch, and keep it constructive. So let the truce begin!
