I don’t have much time to write this, so I probably won’t do this topic justice but I will try — short version, guys don’t like sluts.
In a world where people say, “Don’t slut shame” it’s not a message you hear very much, but I have heard many a man say so around the manosphere.
Young women are sold this message that to have sex “like a man” with whoever and whenever you want is “empowering.” What’s good for the gander is good for the goose, right?
But what this theory leaves out is that it’s not as easy for men to find women to have sex with as it is for women to find men to have sex with. All guys aren’t just going out and having casual sex whenever they want. They may wish, but even seasoned players like this guy, who literally makes a living trying to get laid and teaching other guys how to do it too, will admit, even for him, it can be hard to get sex.
The reality is the men women are having sex with aren’t “the average guys.” In the real world, about 20% of guys are getting 80% of the casual sex action. The top guys. The guys all gals want. Even the good looking but average guys, not so much.
Meanwhile even average to below average looking girls can pretty easily find someone to have sex with. He likely won’t want a relationship, or to marry her, but he’ll have a go. Maybe even more than once. Maybe he will even add her to his booty call list. He won’t judge her for sleeping with him. He’ll actually encourage it. It’s in his best interest. But is it in hers?
You see, women make the mistake of *projecting* it’s just as easy for guys to get laid as it is for girls. But it’s not.
And, the guys in the 80% who want to have a girlfriend, a wife, and regular sex who aren’t getting it, they do care if a girl is a slut. In fact, she doesn’t even have to be “a slut.” They care if she’s even semi-promiscuous. They care how many other men she’s slept with. They care if she’s ok with casual sex or one night stands. And if she is they value her less, as a potential serious partner, for doing these things.
There, I said it. I have a feeling it is not a popular thing to say, but I think far too many women don’t realize this, at their own doom. Ladies, I am not telling you what to do with your body, but I am telling you the “nobody cares anymore” thing is a myth.
Why do men care? It’s actually not about a moral judgement, although that’s what kept women from sleeping around in millennia past. It’s biological. Even in a world with birth control, this is ancient programming and not easily overwritten. In the past having sex meant making babies. And if a woman was having sex with multiple men, she was a risk.
See, a women knows 100% that a baby in her belly is hers. A man, especially in the days before over the counter paternity tests, does not. He’s taking a big risk and is putting a lot of faith in the gal to believe that’s HIS baby. This is a hard concept for women to grasp I think, because they would never be in that situation.
But imagine if you went to the hospital and had a baby. And then they just handed you a random baby from the nursery, and said the baby was yours. Sure, you would think the baby was cute, and you would probably love it and care for it, but wouldn’t you really want to take home and raise YOUR baby? Wouldn’t you wonder if it was your baby, and if not where your baby was and how it was doing? So why would a guy not feel the same?
That’s why men don’t like sluts. Or as a male friend put it, “Oh we like sluts, but not for a girlfriend or wife.”
Men value loyalty and fidelity very, very highly. If you want a good man, you should be protecting your asset, which is your self. Women hold the key to sex. Likewise, men hold the key to commitment. This used to be the trade – sex for commitment. But in a world where women are handing out their key, men are withdrawing their side of the deal as well. Fair is fair.
This post may bring on a hail of hate rain, I am talking a big risk calling a spade a spade here, but if you don’t believe me, just ask the guys. They will tell you it’s true. I am only trying to help women understand it, for their own sake, before it’s too late and her only option left is dealing with the fallout.
Let those with ears hear.