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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: gratitude

Name One Good Thing

04 Friday Jan 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 155 Comments

Tags

appreciate, big things, Good stuff, Good thing, gratitude, little things, positive, red pill, upbeat

OK  guys — New Year, time to switch things up a bit so let’s do something different — instead of calling out the many things that are not so good these days, how about we each name at least one GOOD thing big or small, silly or serious, yin or yang, but whatever it is, something GOOD about your day, your life, the world, whatever! Go!

Ok I will start — preying mantis. Talk about cool! There was one on my porch the other day (they are not so common here, and especially in winter) and it looked at me and I looked at it, and I pointed it out to my daughters, and then they looked at it and it looked at them and I wasn’t sure who was watching who. If you have never seen one in real life, they are probably the closest thing to an alien I can think of and they seem to be almost zen in touch with the world, all knowing. And who knows — maybe they have it figured out better than an we do! And they eat bad bugs. That’s good, too! (And, I had forgotten but it’s true the female sometimes eats the male after mating, that is not good and was not why I choose this example! Sorry!)

This video shows another side to them we did not see that day, apparently they are little bada$$es! Who knew! See for yourself (I think even the Ton would think it’s good!)

Ok your turn! Please share in the comments. You are by no means limited to one good thing. Feel free to name as many as you want!

Can’t be black pill all the time, or even red pill, right?!? Lol!

Go! If you usually read but don’t post, I double dog dare you to add a good thing to the mix, too!

💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

Be Thankful

22 Thursday Nov 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 61 Comments

Tags

abundance, achievement, contentment, entitlement, feminimity, feminism, fulfillment, gratitude, happiness, keeping up with the Jonses, red pill, success, thankfulness

It seems like an apt time of year to ponder gratitude.

True thankfulness is exceedingly rare in today’s entitled “gimmie, gimme NOW” world.

I find it so ironic that in an era where many have more material and physical abundance than perhaps ever before in all of history, it’s much more common to encounter people thinking they need more than to meet those who appreciate all they’ve got.

And since this blog is for the ladies, I will focus on this from the female perspective from here. (Perhaps a male blogger can tackle a version of this topic for the guys.)

For women, who have for decades been raised to believe there are no limits, they can be or do anything they want to be, that they deserve it all, and that they don’t just deserve it they are OWED it, contentment and gratitude can be viewed as negative, limiting, and outdated.

However I would argue it’s only those rare women who cultivate a true gratitude attitude that ever find the seemingly-ever-elusive happiness, fulfillment, balance, peace, and abundance so many desperately seek.

The answer ironically isn’t having more, it’s not just being OK with — but actually being thankful for — less.

Now before you think I am advising gals need to aim low or give up, give me a chance to explain.

Contentment and gratitude for what *is* truly is the secret to ever having enough. Because everything is relative.

For example, for some people an 800 square foot house is “small.” For others a 2,500 square foot house is “small.” Any house could be viewed as too small, too big, or just right based on one’s perception.

I once read a book by a woman who suddenly realized one day that the problem wasn’t that’s her house was too small, it was her attitude toward it that was. Rather than being thankful for and loving the house she had, she resented it for everything it was not, and spent many disgruntled hours wishing to live anywhere but there.

After that “ah ha moment,” she embarked on a year-long quest to love her home with all she had. She lovingly took stock and then went to work making it as beautiful, comfortable, welcoming, and cozy as it could possibly be.

Soon others began to notice her modest little house. Editors from home and garden magazines that she used to read with envy started calling her, asking to feature her home! Then offering her a regular column! Then encouraging her to write books about how she had created her lovely abode.

That’s the difference gratitude makes. It was the same house. She was the same person. All that had changed was rather than wishing for something else she embraced what she had and poured her heart and soul into loving it just as it was while doing all she could to make it all it could be with the resources she had.

In the end embracing gratitude led to so much more than not doing so ever did. She wasn’t settling. Or aiming low. Or giving up. Or getting less.

In fact had she stayed on the path of wanting more, she would likely still be stuck right there, bitterly hating her little house, wishing for something else, thinking, “if only…”

Instead she was loving her house, living a life beyond her wildest dreams, and embracing the ever growing abundance with a humble and thankful heart.

If you find yourself often thinking about what you wish you had, were, missed, or should be, try looking at what you have right now with gratitude, knowing it’s enough, being thankful for exactly what you’ve got, making the most of it, and embracing the blessings that have been right there all along. At home, at work, at play, and in love.

Happy Thanksgiving! May it be a blessed one.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Waste Little, Want Not

22 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 54 Comments

Tags

abundance, gratitude, happiness, lack, life, waste

A popular saying from the depression era was, “waste little, want not.” It was a phrase often repeated by my grandmother who lived through the depression as a child and teen.

In today’s “gimme gimme” culture built on debt and instant gratification, the idea of making do and being greatful isn’t a popular one. Yet it’s one that can bring peace and centering in times of both plenty and lack.

Imagine feeling like what you have is enough. That you lack for and need nothing. Impossible? Chances are if you are like many today you actually not only have enough, but more than enough.

In fact it’s a common complaint today that people have too much! Yet despite homes filled with clutter and “stuff” they seek more, never truly filling the hole within.

Ironically, in a culture of abundance and self-centered-ness, people are more dissatisfied and lonely than ever. So maybe the secret isn’t more and “me” but less and “others?”

Waste little, want not.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

The Power of Gratitude

21 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 37 Comments

Tags

abundance, gifts, gratitude, happiness, joy, life, red pill, wealth

Something I have noticed in life is that nothing can turn a bad attitude or a feeling of want around like gratitude.

Because you know what? There will always be something going wrong, something we want, something we think we need, or something we wish we had. In fact, if one focuses on what’s MISSING there is really no end to the things to be upset about. No matter how much you have, it will never be enough.

Gratitude is just the opposite. There is always something to be thankful for, and often once I start listing my things off they quickly outnumber the “missing” stuff.

Another bonus, when I focus on what I am thankful for it’s almost impossible to feel unhappy or upset, either.  It switches the glass from half empty to half full, or even runneth over, just like that.

In this season of “gimmie gimmie” gratitude is like a breath of fresh air. I don’t need a Lexus with a red bow on top to make Christmas complete (I actually would not even want that, but the commercials every year make me wonder, does anyone actually do that, and if so do they give the car along with four years of car payments, or how would that work?)

I have always worked to instill gratitude in my kids, as well. And a few years ago during a particularly lean holiday season, I was so proud of them when they happily embraced the few gifts I was able to afford that year, never even noticing or asking for more.

One thing our holidays were rich with that year (and ever since) were experiences — decorating the tree, making gingerbread houses, enjoying candy canes, looking at holiday light displays, telling holiday tales, watching Christmas movies, making crafts to give as gifts, baking cookies, sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows, cuddling up in blankets on the couch, admiring the tree. These things don’t cost much but will be remembered long after the latest “it” toy loses its luster.

In the end material things are just that — things. But relationships, family, friends, health,  community, health, Grace, memories and all those other things no amount of money can buy are the true treasures in life. Cherish them, and may your heart be filled to bursting!

Merry Christmas!

Half Empty or Half Full?

29 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 114 Comments

Tags

abundance, attraction, battle of the sexes, dating, divorce, gratitude, happiness, happy, highest self, marriage, optimism, positive thinking, red pill, relationships, security, self-improvement, success, wealth

I am starting to see a common thread in the stories of the women in my life – it’s far more common to hear a woman focusing on the glass being half empty than half full. And guess what? The ones who do, they are unhaaaaapy.

I challenge you ladies, start looking at the half full side of things. Start steering your thoughts and attitude toward happy and grateful for the good things in your life from the smallest to the biggest. Chances are you will find yourself a lot haaaaaapier if you do so.

Extreme example, but it’s a good one. A friend of mine who has been talking non-stop about divorcing her loyal, hardworking, steady Eddie husband of 10+ years and father of her four children (two hers he took on 100%, two theirs) for over a year now (and I have been trying to talk her out of it), her husband had a freak reaction to anesthesia during a minor surgical procedure a few months ago. He nearly died.

She freaked out. This man is the sole source of income and support for her family. She was in the hospital and on her knees praying for his life for two days straight. And, he lived and is doing well.

I am not kidding, less than a week later I call her up and right away she starts back into, “I am unhaaaaapy. It’s all his fault. I should just divorce him and get this over with. How long can I live like this?” And so on. LESS THAN ONE WEEK LATER.

Seriously, sister? And this poor guy, he actually gets up and goes to work and does all he can to make her happy anyway! Bless him. How many women would do the same?

There’s a saying that before you point out the speck in someone else’s eye, you should take the log out of your own. Because I would say in all of the cases of my friends who I see doing this, the unhappiness isn’t him, it’s within themselves. Leaving him won’t fix that.

If you have a good man who maybe isn’t perfect but he’s working hard and trying to please you, is a good dad, has a good heart — he is not abusive, not cheating, not an addict or alcoholic — be grateful for what you have, because I tell you, you will miss it dearly when it is gone. And you will regret not doing different.

So do different now. Be happy. Be happy with what you have. Look for the good in him. Be good to him. Build him up in your mind, and his. Love him, honor him, cherish and obey him. Like you promised you would, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live.

And if you do, you will be a happy woman. And you will have a happy man, who will work all the harder to make you happy, and he will honor you above all others, and your children will be happy, and that happy will make more happy. Unlimited happy. Happier than you ever dreamed. I have seen even marriages racked with infidelity and alcoholism turn around with this one simple choice — to focus on the good and not the bad. The choice is yours.

Let those who have ears hear.

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