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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: happy

Flipping Narratives

31 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Fempire, Red Pill, Relationships

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

culture, family, feminism, happy, home, housewife, job, marriage, marriage material, middle age, security, society, truth, women, work, working girl, working mom, working woman

Well, who would have guessed a pandemic would get me writing again, but here I am! Glad to see you!

I am on day 15 of strict social distancing, and day 8 of complete just me and the girls lockdown. We don’t plan to go anywhere or see anyone in person for at least another month. If all the models are correct, my area should hit peak cases in about two weeks.

Luckily I am for whatever reason an early adopter, so I noted months ago that this was likely going to happen. I stocked up on food and supplies, figuring we’d be an a lockdown like I was seeing in China at the time, and I did not want to be caught unprepared. We’re stocked to the gills!

A bridge I have not crossed yet but will need to is to ask to skip visitation for one weekend. I think as the cases will be peaking then, and the other side is out in the wild and in rather high risk exposure roles at that, I hope that the reasoning will be obvious. Just one weekend. To be made up later, fair and square. (I would not play games with this.)

So after four or five zero outside contact days of not knowing what to do with myself and obsessively following news articles and researching about the virus, I found myself yesterday wanting to nest.

I have been cooking up a storm as the kids seem happiest when there is food in the works. I suppose on a most basic level, food equals we are still OK. I had for days been gently quieting the agitated folks on my regular social media, trying to be a voice of calm and reason when the rest of the crowd felt one step short of full blown Mad Max. I keep it light, breezy, slip in some red-pillish thoughts served with lots of plausible deniability.

I can only imagine what it must be like to be getting red pilled in a single week. It was hard enough for me over a span of several years. And yet here they are, the blue pill herd, not knowing what to do as the narratives they have clung to are coming crashing down around their ears. It is admittedly a bit much.

So I have been trying to be a helpful guide, saying things like, “It’s not crazy, it’s OK to change your point of view based on life experiences,” when they say they no longer support open boarders or overseas manufacturing or they can’t relate to their usual party holding up their relief check over ridiculous pork projects that can in no way be explained as making sense to be included. I virtually pat their hand.

Who would have though a virus could do so much to expose what we folks in the Red Pill world have been discussing for five plus years.

Yesterday, as I was nesting, I posted a few snapshots of domesticity, joking I was somehow turning into a 50s housewife in less than a week. I expected to get heckled and jazzed.

Instead, within minutes career gals were jumping in and confessing they were also baking bread and nesting and (gasp!) actually enjoying not going to work. I pondered how many of them will decide not to go back to their non-essential jobs.

Now of course that doesn’t solve the other problem Larry G pointed out when I shared this on another blog in the comments. He felt it might be good to let them know that all the good guys are long gone, and part of being a housewife included, well being a wife. And that maybe I should tell these 30+ SIW that the gentlemen have long since left the building. Good luck!

I figured Rome was not built in a day and told him I will share that when they get to the wailing about, “Where are all the good men,” part. For now, maybe best to just let this sink in.

I have long asserted that the SIW narrative is the blue pill flip of the soy boy. Maybe a few weeks in isolation with nothing to do but bake and explore their hobbies might put them in touch better than anything that they had been sold down the slave wage, dead end job river by those telling them staying home would only lead to sadness, abuse, and oppression.

I suppose for now they have the government to play the role of their provider and protector, but finding one of their very own in real life once this blows over may prove more difficult.

Anyway, I laughed when later that day I saw the president serve Ms. Markle a red pill straight up, unrepentant Alpha style. Let’s have a look, shall we?

Trump-Tweet-8

Ouch! Yep, making your own choices is all fun and games until you’re held accountable to them and reality hits. Then a gal realizes she’s played her hand out capitalizing on her sexuality and youth, getting her every whim, thinking it would never end — until just like that it does and and still has decades and decades to go minus a title, crown, or royal privileges. Markle isn’t on her own yet, but if I were a betting gal I give it two years, tops! (Should have looked a little closer at the fates of Fergie and Wallis — not the lap of luxury life either had imagined ahead, I am guessing.)

Anyway, interesting times! What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Like That?

05 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

culture, divorce, happy, marriage, modern marriage, red pill, society

I felt this quote shared by commenter Alan Kardec was worthy of making a post of its own. He says:

A great quote from Kevin Williamson: “It was not the invention of the birth-control pill, or the adoption of no-fault divorce, that hollowed out marriage: It was that we became the sort of people who desired those things. We became — Western civilization became — the kids who flunked the test in the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment, unable to resist immediate gratification and, having stripped ourselves of the cultural basis for understanding the distinction, unable to tell the difference between pleasure and happiness.”

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

What Predicts Relationship Success?

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 105 Comments

Tags

advice, breakup, breakups, dating, divorce, family, happiness, happy, life, marriage, red pill, relationship success, relatonships

Wish you could look into a crystal ball and see if your relationship was destined to succeed or fail? Researchers think they have found the answer that separates relationship masters from relationship disasters. From here:

“…Gottman can predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether couples … will be broken up, together and unhappy, or together and happy several years later. Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship. Do they bring kindness and generosity; or contempt, criticism, and hostility?

“There’s a habit of mind that the masters have,” Gottman explained in an interview, “which is this: they are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. Disasters are scanning the social environment for partners’ mistakes.”

“It’s not just scanning environment,” chimed in Julie Gottman. “It’s scanning the partner for what the partner is doing right or scanning him for what he’s doing wrong and criticizing versus respecting him and expressing appreciation.”

Contempt, they have found, is the number one factor that tears couples apart. People who are focused on criticizing their partners miss a whopping 50 percent of positive things their partners are doing and they see negativity when it’s not there.”

In real life I would say I have seen this to be the case. Those I know in troubled, angsty relationships are always on the lookout for their partner to do them wrong or fall short, while the couples who seem most content are those who have a positive view.

The good news is both approaches are a choice, a mindset. If you aren’t already, start giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and look for the good in them rather than the bad, assume the best instead of the worst. Not only will they likely start feeling a lot better about the relationship (and you!), chances are you’ll start feeling so as well.

It’s easy to find fault, to focus on the negative. In fact, the human mind seems geared to see what’s missing more prominantly than what’s not. And while it likely serves us well in some ways, it can also create much unhappiness because let’s face it — there will always be something going wrong, even when 99.9% is going right! And really, how often in life is even 51% or more going wrong? In mine the answer has been rarely, or actually never, even if I have not always acted (or felt) like it. Even on the very worst days (not that I am daring the universe here…)

What do you think? Have you seen this master or disaster approach to relationships in real life? Is seeing the glass half full the secret to a long and happy relationship? Please share in the comments.

 

Unhaaaaapy?

07 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

happiness, happy, healthy living, healthy thinking, ownership, red pill, responsibilty, true empowerment, unhappiness

Happiness is an inside job.

Yep! So if you are unhappy, stop blaming others and start looking within.

So many people look to their partner or future idealized partner to “make them happy.” But guess what? They can’t. And it’s not even healthy to expect them to.

So while it’s seemingly easier to credit or blame others for your happiness level, the very good thing about looking within for happiness is that you realize while others can’t make you happy, you’ll find they can no longer take it away, either.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Half Empty or Half Full?

29 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 114 Comments

Tags

abundance, attraction, battle of the sexes, dating, divorce, gratitude, happiness, happy, highest self, marriage, optimism, positive thinking, red pill, relationships, security, self-improvement, success, wealth

I am starting to see a common thread in the stories of the women in my life – it’s far more common to hear a woman focusing on the glass being half empty than half full. And guess what? The ones who do, they are unhaaaaapy.

I challenge you ladies, start looking at the half full side of things. Start steering your thoughts and attitude toward happy and grateful for the good things in your life from the smallest to the biggest. Chances are you will find yourself a lot haaaaaapier if you do so.

Extreme example, but it’s a good one. A friend of mine who has been talking non-stop about divorcing her loyal, hardworking, steady Eddie husband of 10+ years and father of her four children (two hers he took on 100%, two theirs) for over a year now (and I have been trying to talk her out of it), her husband had a freak reaction to anesthesia during a minor surgical procedure a few months ago. He nearly died.

She freaked out. This man is the sole source of income and support for her family. She was in the hospital and on her knees praying for his life for two days straight. And, he lived and is doing well.

I am not kidding, less than a week later I call her up and right away she starts back into, “I am unhaaaaapy. It’s all his fault. I should just divorce him and get this over with. How long can I live like this?” And so on. LESS THAN ONE WEEK LATER.

Seriously, sister? And this poor guy, he actually gets up and goes to work and does all he can to make her happy anyway! Bless him. How many women would do the same?

There’s a saying that before you point out the speck in someone else’s eye, you should take the log out of your own. Because I would say in all of the cases of my friends who I see doing this, the unhappiness isn’t him, it’s within themselves. Leaving him won’t fix that.

If you have a good man who maybe isn’t perfect but he’s working hard and trying to please you, is a good dad, has a good heart — he is not abusive, not cheating, not an addict or alcoholic — be grateful for what you have, because I tell you, you will miss it dearly when it is gone. And you will regret not doing different.

So do different now. Be happy. Be happy with what you have. Look for the good in him. Be good to him. Build him up in your mind, and his. Love him, honor him, cherish and obey him. Like you promised you would, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live.

And if you do, you will be a happy woman. And you will have a happy man, who will work all the harder to make you happy, and he will honor you above all others, and your children will be happy, and that happy will make more happy. Unlimited happy. Happier than you ever dreamed. I have seen even marriages racked with infidelity and alcoholism turn around with this one simple choice — to focus on the good and not the bad. The choice is yours.

Let those who have ears hear.

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