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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: hook up culture

Don’t Ride the Carousel

18 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 140 Comments

Tags

attraction, battle of the sexes, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, hook up, hook up culture, hooking up, hookups, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance

There’s a red pill saying called “riding the carousel” which, to put it nicely, means a gal sleeping around, hooking up, and having casual, no strings sex during her teens, 20s, and early 30s.

The first time I heard guys talking abut this in the manosphere, I was shocked how negatively they viewed this behavior, and the women engaging in it. After all this isn’t the 1950s, right?

Well the reality is even guys who are themselves involved in such behavior look down upon gals who are taking a “What’s good for the gander is good for the goose” approach to sex. The higher quality of “catch” a guy was, the less willing they were to consider a woman who had “ridden he carousel” as a serious longterm/lifetime partner.

Like it or not, believe it or not, this is how guys still feel today about all this. Even if they tell you they don’t! Even if they are trying to talk you into going home with them for some hook up fun that very night!

It’s been called lots of things, including a double standard, but it all goes back to biology — a promiscuous female is a cuckhold risk in a man’s eyes. And for a man, being a cuckhold is just about the worst thing one could be. Men have a very strong, visceral reaction to the idea. (Unless they have a cuckhold fetish, and well then that’s just another issue entirely…)

Consider the plays of Shakespeare’s era, all rife with jokes and references to cuckholding – it’s certainly nothing new. No guy wants to be tricked into thinking a child is his when it is not because he’s been with a woman who is “getting around.” (And in case we’ve all forgotten, sex is what leads to babies!)

For women, this is not a concern. After all unless the baby is switched at birth, we know a baby that comes out of our body is “ours” as silly as that sounds. But as couples who have experienced having a baby switched at birth experience, there is something profoundly disturbing and distressing about discovering the baby you thought was yours, really isn’t.

Or if all that makes no sense, think of it this way, when a hot guy wants to hook up or have a short term no strings attached sexual experience with you, he’s not saying it’s because you’re so hot. What he’s really saying is that you meet his minimum threshold for attractiveness, but not his minimum threshold for a long term or serious relationship. What he’s really saying is you aren’t hot enough! Ouch!

But yep, it’s all true. And I know that because I have heard guys say it anonymously online many, many, many times. So don’t kid yourself — and remember, you’re better than that! You deserve a guy who’s all in, not just a guy who just wants to put it in! And the guy who will be all in, he’s worth waiting for (and doesn’t he deserve more from you, too?)

Carousel Rider

Carousel riding. I would not advise it. Trust me on this one.

But what do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

 

Ka Boom Scenario #1: Readers Weigh In

04 Tuesday Nov 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 112 Comments

Tags

dating, divorce, hook up culture, ka boom, out of wedlock, Papa don't preach, red pill, relationships, single parenting, teen dad, teen mom, teen parents, teenage parents

Today I am going to do a new interactive type of blog post I am going to call “Ka Boom Scenario: Readers Weigh In.” The idea is that I will post real world situations of ka boom life moments and you, the readers, are encouraged to reply in the comments with your “Dear Abby” style advice to those involved. Ok?

Let’s get started (and don’t forget to leave your advice at the end. I am very curious to see how you all respond!)

Ka Boom Scenario#1.

Family in Teen Parent Crisis (Real life situation, names/details have been changed.)

Setting the scene: Working class dad, sahm mom, married 11 years, together 5+ years before that.  In their mid-30s. Family has four children, 2 are hers from before (18 and 16) two are theirs together (11 and 6.) The couple has been struggling for some time over many issues, including the strife between dad and 16-year-old daughter (not his bio but he’s been there as dad since she was under two). The daughter is admittedly a self absorbed selfie snapping teen, sassy, disrespectful, etc. so he’s not necessarily “picking” on her, but the couple disagrees who to approach handling her.  The couple has split up several times for a few days to a week but so far has always gotten back together.

And then, ka boom!

Three days ago, 16-year-old comes home and announces smugly that she is pregnant. 9 weeks. And she did it on purpose. Because “she wants a baby and to be on her own.” Then she goes and posts all about how glorious it all is all over Facebook. Girl is set on having her very own real life teen mom reality show.

The baby’s father is a 15-year-old drop out born to a teen mom himself who herself has 4 kids, is unmarried, still lives at home with her mom and her own daughter (the boy’s sister)  is  a teen mom with a two year old. (Hope that makes sense, describing the teen dad’s own family situation.)

They (the teens) really had no relationship. It was a hook up. There is no interest on either side to make it a family or to marry or anything like that.

Ok readers, what advice would you give to this family (or actually families, so feel free to advise one, both, or any combo of the above, any person in the situation or all of them.)  Let’s hear your best red pill (or other) advice on this all too common modern day Ka Boom life moment. Go!

(Please note: Comments reflect the view of the commenter only and are neither approved or disapproved by the blog post author.)

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