Tag Archives: life

Strange Times

02 Monday Sep 2019

Posted by in Red Pill

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Hi everyone just a quick note to say all is well.

As is always the case in summer, I  have been very busy this season and have been otherwise focused on the surreal and strange goings on socially and politically, which has left little time for red pill ponderings

Strange times.

I could not have made up some of the occurances of the past few years and more recently the past few weeks — if I had tried!

Hopefully its all going somewhere that, while messy at the moment, will eventually lead us to more solid ground.

In the meantime buckle up and try to be part of the solution not part of the problems!

On a personal and individual level I am doing good, one day at a time, one step at a time.

When I look back and add up how far things have come since my manosphere discovery days, I’d say while not perfect, I am getting it worlds better than I did before then and life is making much more sense for me and mine.

I hope it is the same for all of you. And that we are all better of for having taken this wild ride together! You’ve each taught me so much and I greatly appreciate each and every one of you!

What do you think of these strange times? Please share in the comments!

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Update

01 Thursday Aug 2019

Posted by in Red Pill, Uncategorized

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Hello again! Its been awhile. Lots and nothing much has happened in the past few months. Still watching the world and looking at things from a red pill perspective, as always.

I have an update on my college friend. Somewhat of a red pill awakening.

As I said back in a previous post, he was in a bad situation, and struggling. To say he was blue pill was putting it mildly. He was the draft horse described in many a manosphere post.

After we had a few red pill conversations and I sent him some of the links many of you kindly shared, I didn’t hear much from him for awhile.

Then one day he reached out, saying he was the frog in the pot of water and the water was just too hot.

He had said once before, after we chatted about not much of anything, that he decided to put the gun away. It was only then that I realized his telling me he felt suicide was the only way out were not exaggerated. He’d literally been sitting there with his gun in the dark. Thank God he reached out, and I happened to be awake. I told him I hoped he’d always put it down and reach out.

Something about his tone this day too was very alarming. It was like he was trying to explain it was all too much, and that he coukdnt take anymore, and he was saying goodbye. Then…nothing.

I panicked, thinking the worst.

I immediately asked my guy what to do? Wait and see or call 911? I didn’t even remember where my froend lived exactly, having only been to his house once back in college. Luckily my guy’s mad research skills soon had the address.

Still no reply from my friend. So I called 911.

The operator took down the info but I was not sure how urgent they took the call. They’d have someone call, she said.

I was supposed to open my biz in less than 15 minutes, but my gut would not be quiet. I am not sure why, but I called my ex.

“I’ll meet you there,” he said without a moment’s hesitation.  Even all those years later he knew exactly where the house was.

He got there before me and knocked but no answer. Finally a woman peeked her head out and quickly shut the door again.

Just after he updated me, the officer called. He was naturally skeptical and I was more than a little glad that he wasn’t going to just take some random gal’s word for it. But after I told him of the situation, and the gun thing before, and said I was on my way there, he said they would go check and to please not approach but let them handle it.

I was beyond relieved to see my friend standing in his driveway talking to two police officers when I arrived, instead of an ambulance.

As I sat waiting, I hoped and prayed I had not overreacted and just ruined his life.

Apparently he agreed to leave with the officers, and as he walked down the driveway he spotted me. I hopped out of the car and he came rushing over to hug me.

I said I was sorry if I caused any trouble and please don’t be mad at me, but I wanted to be sure he was OK. He said he wasn’t mad and thought I did the right thing.

Then he turned around and saw my ex, who had arrived on his Harley. I think he was even happier to see him than me and he rushed to hug him, too. He told us both he wanted to go with the officers, and my ex said he thought that was a good idea and he’d be in touch.

After they pulled away my ex asked me to join him for a bite to eat and talk. I caught him up to speed on what I knew so far, and he agreed better for our friend to divorce than kill himself.

“Divorce sucks but it isn’t the end of the world,” he said. (Surreal!)

He kept his word and followed up, agreeing with me our friend needed men to help him, not a woman, and that I had done as much as I could.

The next weekend they both showed up in their leathers on Harleys. Looking like a happy and motley crew.

Our friend has gotten help for his depression and is on an experimental but new treatment protocol that seems to be working. He’s also seeing a therapist who he said he likes very much. And is hanging out with my ex.

About two weeks ago he texted me out of the blue, “I’m getting a divorce.” He finally told her he couldn’t do it anymore. Done.

As I have always said here, if people can avoid divorce and make their marriage work, I believe they should. But sometimes, they shouldn’t. I think he’s wise to take a break and focus on finding himself. Who knows, maybe in time they will work it out.

I heard from him again yesterday and he was happy to share all he’s been doing. He sounded hopeful. It’s not perfect but it’s a lot better. And he’s not thinking of hurting himself anymore as an answer.

Anyway to be continued, but so far so good!

Its a red pill world folks, and we’ve got to look out for each other.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

Be Solution Oriented

03 Monday Jun 2019

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It’s easy to point out what’s wrong. Anyone can do that. Push beyond…

Be solution oriented.  Figure out how to fix what’s wrong, or if it can’t be fixed how to live with it.

This will put you in the top 20%. And help you fix or accept things. And help others fix or accept things.

Be the solution, not part of (pointing out or part of) the problem.

80% of people can point out (or are part of) the problems already and while they may (or may not) mean well, it’s not solving anything.

Solve it or accept it is what it is. Pointing it out without any solution just frustrates everyone.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

It’s a Guy Thing

13 Wednesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Relationships, Sex and Such

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A guy friend I have known since college but had lost touch with recently reached out bc he’s going through a mid life crisis of sorts and is struggling with depression.

Why? He’s in an unfulfilling dead-bedroom marriage. Among other things. (He didn’t actually say the dead-bedroom part, but I can read between the lines.) He’s also tiring of pulling the plow. Without reward.

Then he said he feels bad because he’s attracted to other women and feels bad about his thoughts.

I told him Ton stories for a bit to make him feel better. I reassured him his thoughts were no match for Ton’s daily, and that it’s ok. Ton would approve of his efforts to think such thoughts.

Guys look at chicks and if the chicks are hot they probably think about banging them. I reassured him all guys (or most guys anyway, 98%) feel the same. It’s what guys do. It’s normal, even if everybody says it’s not.

He seemed relieved at the idea, completely blue pill and church raised good boy that he is. (Then I dropped the name and number of a guy counselor I know who would be a good person to talk to him about this bc I cannot. I figured Ton was unavailable lol. )

And yes ladies, surprise —  guys who talk to you probably want to bang you. This guy maybe wants to bang me (or his memory of me, lol!) Won’t happen, of course, but if he didn’t want to maybe I would think something were wrong. With me or with him. Because, like it or not that’s how it works. Always has. Always will.

Just like if a woman was not thinking like all women do about men, admit it or not, I would be shocked. (What they are thinking is a topic for a whole other post but it’s basically, “What are you offering in exchange? Is it better than other offers?” Real, or much more likely, imagined?)

Spoiler alert it’s either top-possible provision and protection or top-possible tingles. Ideally both but unicorns are rare so… just like it’s the rare guy who actually gets to (gladly) bang every woman he wants to with them also all being totally super down with that, no strings attached, most women don’t get their 100% list either. Um yeah. Most everyone else (M and F) settles for some version thereof they can live with. Supply and demand. Reality.

In short nobody says it but men and women have competing yet complimentary initiatives. It’s maybe “ugly” and “unacceptable” to some but it is what has built civilizations. Always has. Always will.

In fact without it, civilization probably won’t get built (let’s also face it as long as we are calling out taboos, mostly by men who want to bang chicks in exchange) at all. We are almost here now. Google MTGOW if you don’t believe me. Or Japanese herbivores.

Yep.

I doubt that any of that will be appearing on a “wuv u!!!” greeting card anytime soon so that is why we all have plausible deniability. Because if we all admitted all this, well that would ruin the romance! Wouldn’t it? Lol.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Simple Beginnings

16 Thursday Aug 2018

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I saw a quote on a reader board the other day that read, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”

I thought it was such a simple truth — indeed that providing a loving, healthy, safe home for your family truly can make the world a better place. Not just within the home, but in schools, workplaces, and the community as your family returns that love, health, and safety out into the world.

Likewise, family dysfunction can haunt those involved for generations. And again, not just in the home but in schools, workplaces, and the community. Much of society’s biggest woes (crime, violence, etc.) can likely be traced back to an unhappy home as the root.

Fill your home with love today and every day. Doing so is naturally easier for those raised in such a home themselves. Yet it’s a choice available on a daily basis to all. I have known many people who have worked hard to give their families something they themselves wished for but did not have.

What are you “playing forward?”

Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Problems and Solutions

11 Wednesday Jul 2018

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Many people are good at pointing out problems, or “what’s wrong” with this or that. And indeed it is step one.

But have you noticed how few people seem to be able to focus on the solutions rather than simply fixate on the problem?

I see this all over the place, not just in relationships. It seems we are a culture very good at identifying problems — calling them out loud and clear. We are not so good at finding solutions it seems… in fact many seem to NOT want to find solutions, but rather just harp and harp on the same old “problems.”

But trust me, solutions are where the good stuff is. The problems are only an opportunity to grow and thrive, reach another level — and you get there by coming up with solutions to whatever the problem is one faces.

Sometimes others will appreciate the solutions, join in, other times they will not. So long as you find a solution for YOURSELF to whatever it is, that’s what matters. Others will have to find solutions for themselves. Or maybe they will just choose to focus on the problems. Some may not want to solve the problems. In any case, don’t get sucked in!

So next time you find yourself with a problem, rather than getting stuck there push on to brainstorming possible solutions.  Soon whatever you face won’t matter as much because you will prove to yourself time and again that whatever the problem, what really matters isn’t that, but coming up with a workable (for you) solution!

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

More on Actions and Outcomes

06 Friday Jul 2018

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To keep riffing on the idea that actions create outcomes, let’s look at some examples. What would the outcome be for the following (best guess, just based on the average outcome.)

Case Study 1: Person shows up to work on time (or a bit early!), is rarely absent, works diligently, looks and acts professionally, adds value whenever possible, is minimal drama, and gets ‘er done on a daily and regular basis. Outcome?

Case Study 2: Person is often late, sick the minute a leave day accrues, often gets off task, looks and acts unprofessionally, does the minimum, often involved in or creating drama, doesn’t complete tasks on a regular or daily basis. Outcome?

Case Study 1: On a regular or daily basis person does the following: walks for 15 minutes a day, takes the stairs instead of the elevator whenever possible, parks in the farthest spot in the lot, does resistance training either at home with body weight resistance and bands or at the gym with weights, has an active hobby (boating, hiking, swimming, biking, etc.), and mostly eats a sensible, balanced, high nutrition, low processed and junk food diet. Outcome?

Cast Study 2: Person wishes they could lose weight and get fit, but never or rarely or sporadically at best does any of the above.  Outcome?

Case Study 1: Person wants financial stability so they put away 10 percent of every paycheck, avoid debt or pay extra on any prior debt until it is paid off, pays bills early or on time to avoid fees, shops at garage sales, consignment shops, resale shops, or thrift stores for most household and clothing items, comparison shops and buys new items on sale vs. retail, prioritizes needs vs. wants, has $1500 in a rainy day fund for emergencies and repays the fund when used, puts money regularly into some sort of retirement fund, takes on extra work or generates extra income on the side when possible, lives below their means on a regular or daily basis. Outcome?

Case Study 2: Person wants financial stability but tells themselves they can’t afford to save anything, buys mostly on credit, pays minimum on cards and debts, often pays late including additional fees, always buys household and clothing items brand new at full retail price, has no cash reserves for emergencies so charges such expenses, puts nothing away for retirement, doesn’t look for extra work or ways to generate income on the side when possible, lives paycheck to paycheck or even above their means via credit. Outcome?

As these examples hopefully illustrate, it’s not rocket science. The secret to getting the outcome you desire is taking regular or daily actions that have high odds of leading to the desired outcome. Not doing so greatly decreases it.

I am sure you can think of such case studies of your own (and if so, feel free to add them or other thoughts on actions and outcomes in the comments!)

Actions Create Outcomes

04 Wednesday Jul 2018

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Actions create outcomes — it’s a simple concept but one that often escapes people (myself included) when the way life is and the way we want life to be do not match up.

Consider the common problem of clutter. Actions can either lead to less clutter (steps are taken on a regular and ongoing basis to reduce clutter) or more (a one time effort is made or no steps are taken, the same actions that led to clutter keep occurring, clutter persists or worsens.)

Another example might be a personal goal, such as losing weight. Actions can either lead to weight loss (increase physical activity combined with a balanced, low calorie, high nutrition eating plan on a regular and ongoing basis) or not (any change is shortly abandoned or no increased physical activity, no change in eating habits.)

Perhaps the goal is financial stability. Actions can lead to financial stability (live below ones means, put extra toward debt reduction and savings on a regular and ongoing basis) or not (continue to live above one’s means or paycheck to paycheck.)

This concept also applies to relationships. Actions can lead to better and more satisfying relationships (taking steps on a regular and ongoing basis to nurture the relationship, increase positive experiences, and reduce negative ones) or not (give little or no thought or action toward improving relationships.)

As you may see, this simple but powerful concept can apply to all sorts of situations. And in every case the solution to whatever the problem is to TAKE ACTION. And often to take that action on a REGULAR and ONGOING basis.

Think of them as habits. At first doing things differently can seem forced and uncomfortable. But after about 21 days, experts say new actions become habits. Once this happens, those behaviors become part of the operational plan — working for (or against) you on autopilot.

So if there is something in your life that you wish were different the good news is in almost every case there is something you can do to change that — take action in the direction you would rather things be and then keep doing so until and after you reach the goal. The path from where you are to where you want to be is just that easy — and also just that hard if you want the outcome but aren’t taking the actions required to produce it.

It’s been said that often the biggest obstacle we face is our-self.  In most cases the only thing holding us back from what we want out of life is our own choices, habits, and behavior. The good news is — we can always choose to change! (And if it’s something you can’t change, you can still take action — accept it and focus on what you can change!)

Take action. Better days ahead await! (And now I am going to take action to water, pull weeds, and tend to my veggie garden, spending 15-20 minutes a day doing so, so I can later enjoy my goal to have an abundance of fresh grown flowers and produce this fall instead of it just turning into a weedy tangled mess!)

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

Making Our Dreams Come True…

24 Sunday Jun 2018

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

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While listening to a vintage top 40’s radio show rerun, a song I had completely forgotten about reminded me of a Single Independent Woman (SIW) sitcom I watched often during my childhood: Laverne and Shirley.

Does this song ring a bell? (I apologize in advance if it gets stuck in your head now! Lol.)

Let’s look at the lyrics:

Making Our Dreams Come True

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated
We’re gonna do it!

Give us any chance – we’ll take it
Read us any rule – we’ll break it
We’re gonna make our dreams come true…
Doin’ it our way

Nothin’s gonna turn us back now
Straight ahead and on the track now
We’re gonna make our dreams come true…
Doin’ it our way

There is nothing we won’t try

Never heard the word impossible
This time there’s no stopping us
We’re gonna do it

On your mark, get set and go now
Got a dream and we just know now 
We’re gonna make our dream come true
And we’ll do it our way – yes our way
Make all our dreams come true
And do it our way – yes our way
Make all our dreams come true
For me and you! 

This is how Wikipedia describes the show:

“Laverne & Shirley (originally Laverne DeFazio & Shirley Feeney) is an American television sitcom that ran for eight seasons on ABC from January 27, 1976, to May 10, 1983. A spin-off of Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley followed the lives of Laverne DeFazio (Penny Marshall) and Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams), two friends and roommates who work as bottle-cappers in the fictitious Shotz Brewery in late 1950s Milwaukee, Wisconsin. From the sixth season onwards, the series’ setting changed to mid-1960s Burbank, California. Michael McKean and David Lander co-starred as their friends and neighbors Lenny and Squiggy, along with Eddie Mekka as Carmine Ragusa, Phil Foster as Laverne’s father Frank DeFazio, and Betty Garrett as the girls’ landlady Edna Babish.

Noted for its use of physical comedy, Laverne & Shirley became the most-watched American television program by its third season [emphasis mine], and was nominated for two Golden Globe Awards and a Primetime Emmy Award in 1979.”

I found myself wondering how much this show affected my impressionable young mind, and the minds of other girls of my generation?

I also wondered what a follow-up would show? What would Laverne and Shirley be up to now? How did their plan work out? What specifically was their “dream” and did it come true?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

The Value of Man

06 Sunday May 2018

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You’ve likely seen the articles that put a salary figure on what moms or wives do and what those things would cost if she were paid for them. But have you ever seen the same for a husband or dad?

I haven’t but I would wager men bring just as much or more “free work” to a couple as the gals do.

For example, there’s yard work and landscaping, carpentry, electrical, mechanical, painting, troubleshooting of broken items, home security, personal bodyguard,  and more. A quick pricing of what any of these tasks would cost on a hired basis shows it’s considerable.

Not to mention everyday tasks such as laundry, cooking, and all the other chores many couples now often share as part of keeping things going day to day.

Sure not all guys do x, y, or z but the overall point is that articles about the value women contribute “for free” tend to imply men don’t do so as well when clearly they do.

Building a life and keeping things going involves sweat equity from all involved. Appreciating each other’s contributions goes a lot further than keeping score.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!