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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: marriage counseling

AWALT: A Cautionary Tale

24 Wednesday Apr 2019

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill, Relationships

≈ 193 Comments

Tags

cheating, divorce, marriage counseling, personality disorder, red pill

 

(And So my college friend from a few posts back is in for an interesting day tomorrow.

He updated me today that the friend of a friend who was looking to branch swing  (being blue pill this was news to him) that he was sexting on Faceboook but stopped talking to and who he hasn’t responded to for months has friended his wife on FB and is going to have his wife (who does waxing) wax her who-ha tomorrow.

Um, yeah… how cray is that?

He says he DGAF. But knowing the guilt ridden blue pill churchman guy he is, I wonder. I hope if it all melts down he is true to himself. If he is, it may be for the first time in his life.

I did warn him the FB gal has a motive here, and that’s to blow up his life so she can use him as a resource. His wife (who also sounds more cluster B by the moment— she tried to run him over w a car and regularly physically and emotionally abuses him, sadly — I 100% believe his actions are not the way out btw — but I can also see why he would be wide open to this other gal working him) also doesn’t want to lose her resource (He is a union craftsman making $70+ per hour 40 hrs. a week guaranteed whether he works or not, plus bennies and retirement. Who-ha waxing don’t pay that!)

[OT: Plug for young men to consider a union trade — I hear the halls are empty and have jobs unfilled! They will train!]

Anyway, I did implore him to be safe and maybe consider changing the locks and texting his wife he’s done, send someone for her things. Shits hit the fan, go w it. He said that was his thinking, already.

If he’s going to be the villain anyway, may as well go all in. Go big or go home, right? The people who matter will understand and the people that don’t will no longer be part of his life.

They have no kids. But the do have a dog, that she got for him shortly after she tried to run him over w her car. He said maybe they could share custody of the dog. I was like, “AYFKM?!?!” Fuck her. It’s his dog.

Maybe he is a jerk, maybe not. Maybe I am a jerk, maybe not. But being physically abused is a no in my book. Tried to run you over w a car? Ummm, yeah should have filed charges and a restraining order and then for divorce when that perfect out presented itself — but I understand abuse victims (and yes they can be and are male) don’t always see the forest for the trees they are mired in.

Anyway AWALT. Cautionary tale. No woman sextes a guy (married or not) wo expecting something. Much less gives it up in person. She may say no strings but trust me, the strings are there. Always.

Women trade sex for resources. Like it or not. Admit it or not. It’s as old as time. AWALT.

Any woman would be stupid not to, IMHO. Controversial? Yes. Bad advice woman to woman? No. (Not that I am advocating this level of frat but it’s a shit test and a mighty one.)

Red pill men get this — that milk ain’t free. Not even from a professional (but it may be more openly admitted and for a known price… maybe.)

Just know AWALT. Why? Survival. That’s why. It’s baked into the sauce.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

 

 

 

 

 

Be a Team Player

27 Wednesday Jun 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 38 Comments

Tags

battle of the sexes, break up, breakup, breakups, couples, dating, divorce, marriage, marriage counseling, red pill, relationship advice, relationship dynamics, relatonships, separation

Want a happy and successful relationship? One of the best ways to make it happen is to be a team player. View your mate and your partnership as your number one and the rest will fall into place.

Too often women today are encouraged to see their partner as some sort of enemy in a battle-of-the-sexes dynamic. Such a relationship is marked by power struggles, shit tests, and strife. The result is nobody’s happy or feels supported and the relationship flounders and often then fails as a result.

Compare that to the team model where instead of it being them against each other, it’s them against the world. Their efforts are directed at overcoming outside threats rather that on trying to overcome one another.  It’s a much more harmonious and stable dynamic.

Perhaps the biggest key to achieving a team player attitude is to let go of striving for your individual needs in favor of the needs of the unit. For women, especially for women who have been raised to believe doing so will automatically lead to their oppression and victimization, it can be hard to do.  And yet if the team comes second (or third or fourth) it’s not too difficult to see why that team may fail.

In fact, I can’t think of a single relationship in real life where the couple takes a team approach and one or both of the partners are individually worse off for it. Instead they are among the happiest people I know.

Two are stronger than one. And two pulling together in the same direction are certainly far ahead of two pulling in opposite directions. The first can overcome much while the second may hardly get anywhere at all.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Choose Your Counsel Carefully

08 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 55 Comments

Tags

break up, break ups, dating, divorce, hookup, hookups, love, marraige, marriage counseling, online dating, red pill, relationship advice, relationship counseling, relationships, separation, Tinder

Ladies, when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s essential to choose your counsel carefully.

Whether you are looking for advice on your marriage, getting divorced, getting married, a romantic interest, or how to navigate the dating scene chances are almost everyone has a take on the “right” thing to do.

However, I have found most of the time that advice is exactly the opposite of good counsel! While it may be well meaning and well intended, if it steers you in the wrong direction the results can be disastrous and long lasting.

My advice would be to seek relationship-type counsel from male family members (who can often see through guy-games much better than any woman!) or trusted women older than yourself who are themselves in happy, healthy, long-term relationships. While they may not always tell you what you want to hear, the fact that they themselves are successfully navigating these waters, even if they have not faced your particular situation, suggests they have the experience to guide you to success.

Likewise, avoid the counsel of friends, family, and co-workers who themselves are not doing well or have not done well on the relationship front. While such women (and men!) can often seem to know what they are talking about, and even speak with authority, chances are their advice won’t work any better for you than it is working for themselves.  Especially so if their love life is a constant hot mess!

You see, advice geared toward single and married women today is often exactly the opposite of what works. And this bad advice is much more commonly available and espoused than good advice.

Often when a gal is struggling in her marriage, for example, she’ll find far more voices of support for her to just leave and move on than she will encouraging her to work things out.

Likewise, single women are often given advice that leaves them sitting by the phone wondering if a guy will call back or brokenhearted than advice that will lead to a stable, solid, successful match.

There’s a saying in the investment world that to win, one should do the opposite of what everyone else is doing. I think that advice can apply here as well. Because let’s face it, there are far more people in failed, failing, or miserable relationship situations than there are ones who are not. Doing and being different is likely the secret to those who find success.

So next time you find yourself wondering what to do about a relationship issue, remember to choose your counsel carefully.  Listen to those who are truly “winning” in love. Often their advice will involve patience, sacrifice of instant gratification for long-term results, grace, forgiveness, self-discipline, and other ways you can improve the situation on YOUR part, rather than a focus on, “what he needs to do.”

Perhaps the hardest part about choosing your counsel carefully is that the ones most worth listening to may say what you least want to hear. In fact, that alone may be a good sign their advice is on the right track. If it’s the opposite of 90 percent of the advice on love and relationships you see, hear, or read today, it’s likely worth pondering. If it’s the same old stuff you hear at every turn, beware!

I wish somebody would have said these things to me in my youth.  And I wish I would have been more discerning who I sought counsel from.  Most of my “advisers” weren’t doing well in relationships then, and no surprise they still aren’t today! Sadly, I can’t turn back time, but I can try to share what I have learned the hard way in hopes it helps others avoid the same path.

Today I am very selective in whose counsel I keep. I’ll take advice from someone who is succeeding over the advice of someone who is not any day! I would suggest you do the same!

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

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