Tag Archives: negativity

Look For The Good

28 Wednesday Feb 2018

Posted by in Red Pill, Relationships

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There is something about the human mind that tends to notice what’s wrong more that what’s right.

I would bet there’s a good reason, like being able to spot the potential dangers and threats quickly was once key to survival, and those who did it best survived.

But it can have a downside as well that can steal a lot of joy from life, relationships, work, and play. It can create a filter that screens out the many things going right and well.

Yes it’s great to spot the issue that could lead to a massive project failure so corrections can be made. But it’s also helpful to mention what’s going right with the plan, as well.

I have seen it in relationships, too. People can hyper fixate on every flaw, fault, failure, and letdown. This approach increases dissatisfaction and leads to struggles or even a breakup if it’s not balanced out by remembering and appreciating the many positive, good, and beneficial qualities a mate has as well.

An old management and personal communication technique recommends mentioning two things going right, then the thing going wrong, and wrapping with another positive. It helps keep things in perspective as well as minimizing feelings of the other party being attacked. I have found it works like a charm.

Try to shift your mind to look for the good as you go about your day, as well as watch out for the bad. My guess is you’ll start to notice there’s lots going right. There’s lots of good people. There’s lots of good circumstances. And while yes there are bad things too, maybe it’s not all bad. Maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe it’s better than it first seemed?

What do you think? Do you notice negatives more easily than positives? Have tips for seeing the upside? Please share in the comments.

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Stinking Thinking

19 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by in Red Pill

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I’ll admit it. I can suffer from stinking thinking. And when I do, it’s a sure recipe for feeling unhaaaaapy and seeing everything in the worst possible light.

At least now I usually recognize the stinking thinking and can talk myself into a more productive space. But not so many years ago I could not. Back then how I FELT equaled THE TRUTH. Trouble was, it often wasn’t the truth but became so after I would act or make decisions based off thinking it was so.

Stinking thinking has cost me personally and professionally. Sometimes significantly so. Stinking thinking could take my very worst fears and actually make them my reality. Not good.

I used to keep the stinking thinking to myself. But the problem with that was it would then fester and grow stronger, like an infection. But I was afraid to share those thoughts for a long time, not wanting others to see my weakness and vulnerability.

Now I have a handful of trusted people who I can share with when stinking thinking occurs (no surprise, it can be worst during hormonal times.) They can then help me recognize that it’s not reality talking, it’s simply stinking thinking. During such times I try my best to be especially mindful to make sure I am eating and sleeping well, staying busy, and taking steps to focus on solutions, not dwell on problems.

I recognize also that I come from a long line of stinking thinking folks. Because it can come to me maybe more naturally than others, and because I did not have the best examples of managing it, I have to be more vigilant and watch out. I have seen the joy it has robbed from the lives of others, and I know I must consciously take steps to prevent it from doing the same to me.

If you have ever suffered from stinking thinking yourself, I invite you to join me in giving it the heave ho. Feel free to call it out, put it on notice. It’s such a freeing feeling to be able to get a handle on it mid spiral and say, “Sorry stinking thinking, not this time, I am so on to you!”

The other great thing about learning to recognize stinking thinking is that it diminishes its former power, I now know I can choose NOT to participate in its dastardly plan. I can control it, it doesn’t have to control me.

I wish I could say I have overcome stinking thinking entirely, but it would not be true. It still happens, whispering negative and destructive things here and there, but I realize now I don’t have to believe it. Maybe with time it will go away entirely, or at least fade in frequency to less often than not, then rarely, then nearly never. It’s an unfolding journey.

What do you think? Have you ever experienced stinking thinking. Please share in the comments!

Being Up in a Down World

02 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by in Red Pill

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Something I have been thinking a lot about lately is how to stay up when there is so much “down” in the world.

Perhaps in youth I just didn’t notice it, or maybe things really are getting a lot worse. But either way I have been really struggling to stay positive as I feel increasingly surrounded by bad news, downward trends, and growing negativity.

In my own personal world, things are going better now than a year ago, or two years ago, or even five years ago. Not that I am without trials and struggles, but overall compared to a few years ago I am personally living much less on the edge.  Thank Goodness.

Perhaps that is the solution — to focus on the micro level. Me and mine. Here and now. The moment. Because when I look out into the world, the bigger picture, things seem increasingly precarious.

There’s little I can do to control that bigger picture, so I struggle to figure out how much attention to pay all of that. If any attention at all. And yet to be oblivious also seems unwise.

And then there is the chatter. All the information that may or may not be true, real or not, harmless or a threat. It’s increasingly difficult to know who or what sources to believe anymore when every side seems to be yelling, “danger, danger, danger!”

I think all this weighs especially heavy on me as an empath type person. I literally can absorb other people’s emotional state, feeling it as if it were my own. I stopped watching televised news, or even online news for that very reason. It’s too disturbing. I prefer to read my news. And even then, it can get to me.

Anyway I don’t have the solution so in this case I ask you as the reader, what do you do to stay up in a down world? How do you keep the trials and tribulations of the outer world from draining energy needlessly from your inner one? How much do you let that in? What do you do to keep it out? How do you stay informed without that information becoming overwhelming, or downright paralyzing?

Please feel free to share in the comments your best tips for staying sane in an insane world. I appreciate it!