Regular commenter Earl said the other day, in response to a discussion about how women’s hormonal cycles can lead to some pretty poor decisions (cheating, feuding, drama, and more), some good advice to keep in mind when hormones surge:
“Not everything is about what your menstrual cycle is telling you.”
I had to laugh out loud at that one! Nailed it!
Now granted, it took me YEARS to figure this out. Not that I was cheating, but like clockwork I would find myself stewing and snappy two to three days before “Aunt Flo” arrived, and despite it happening every single month I would be caught off guard and say things I sincerely regretted a few days later when, “Duh.”
But at the time, I swore whatever I was feeling was the honest to God truth. I would even call it my, “moment of clarity!” (Cringe.) When that 24-hour or so moment struck, I swear I would have at times thrown a car across the yard if I could have managed it. I was snarly, grumpy, moody, glum, and prone to argue. Not good. Not good for me, and not good for those around me.
Now one would think it would be obvious pretty quickly, after a year or two, but no. I did not start to put two and two together until I was in my late 30’s. After nearly 20 YEARS of experiencing the same month after month.
Maybe I am just slower than most, but I would guess many women’s hormonal cycles get the better of them a few days a month. Much to their later regret. But the key is — it doesn’t have to!
That’s right, tracking your cycle is easier than ever thanks to apps, smart phones, and gizmos. If you prefer to keep your private life private, there is always the old fashioned calendar method.
Trust me, life gets a whole lot easier when one can identify, “this is probably hormones, don’t make a big deal” versus, “I hate my life and want to blow it up just ’cause!”
Now I have heard women make excuses, that they can’t help it, that they can’t control themselves, that other just have to accept it. No. This is simply not fair and is a very immature way to think. While it’s true you can’t stop or control the cycle, you CAN stop or control yourself. (Yes, you can.) Hormones are not an excuse to wreak havoc on those around you, possibly causing long term damage to your relationships — romantic, work, friends, and family.
If this sounds all too familiar, if you find yourself coming off the rails once a month, try tracking your cycle. Challenge yourself to take a deep breath when you feel off and ask yourself, “Could this be hormones?” Practice some self-control and self-mastery. You’ll be glad you did. And you’ll find it gets much easier with time.
Trust me, doing so makes life much smoother and more tranquil for you and everyone else.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.