Tag Archives: sexism

Male Privilege

09 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by in Gender

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“Male Privilege is having lived one of the most dangerous and tiring existences in history and still being told that men have always had it easy.”

The quote above from an anon Internet source got me thinking… do women really want true “male privilege?”

The privilege to work long hours doing dangerous tasks requiring hard physical labor in all sorts of weather? Like my friend’s husband who is an electrical lineman, climbing poles to repair broken lines even in the middle of a storm with driving rain and 100 mph winds so the heaters and fridges and tv’s still work?

Or the privilege to be sent to war, drafted if need be? Like so many who fought and were either permanently physically or mentally disabled or killed in wars past and present, personally paying to protect the safety and liberty of all?

The privilege of being expected to throw oneself in harms way selflessly and sacrificially in the face of any and all natural disaster, strife, intruders, danger or threat of bodily harm?

The privilege of never being able to show pain, or weakness, or illness? Of having to remain stoic on the outside regardless of injury, hurt, fear, angst, depression, doubt, or other internal turmoil? Of knowing not doing so will more likely be met with repulsion or ridicule than support?

I could go on, but hopefully the point is made. Men don’t have it easier, they have it different. Any privilege they have comes at an equal or greater price. Perhaps there are perks to being male, but there are also heavy responsibilities. I doubt most women would truly make the trade.

I’d wager many women upset about male privilege and inequality only want what they see as the upside of being male, not the downside. But it doesn’t really work like that, even for the most privileged men, now does it?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

Embrace Womanhood

30 Thursday Nov 2017

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

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If like me you were raised to fit the feminist mold, you may have been discouraged from acting in ways that were too “traditionally feminine.” I know I was, and to this day I still struggle to put back the pieces of that part of my identity.

I was told that it was better to be strong, independent, and “more like a man” than to act like a woman. How ironic that feminism taught females that being a woman was somehow lesser than being a man!

I was taught that if I acted “too much” like a female I would be oppressed, victimized, harassed, and not taken seriously. And of course I didn’t want that to happen!

So I avoided acting or dressing “too feminine,” opting for loose-fitting or androgynous clothing instead. I did wear make up and style my hair modestly, but was careful not to try to look “too pretty” so that it didn’t overshadow or detract from my intelligence or personality. In fact I very much downplayed my looks.

I took shop class instead of home economics. I avoided learning “traditional feminine skills.” I was told by teachers to avoid typing class, for instance, because if I knew how to type, I would always be, “just a secretary.” I did all sorts of things trying to learn how to win in a “man’s world” and shedding my womanly nature somehow seemed to be key in that.

A movie that I remember from childhood that captures the zeitgeist of that time was “Nine to Five.” I forget the entire plot line but in it three female characters struggle to be taken seriously in the work world. All are taken advantage of in one way or another by their male boss, but perhaps most of all was Dolly Parton’s character, the feminine, big busted, big hearted blonde who was regulated to secretarial roles where she was mostly lustfully eyeballed by her male collegues and anything she had to add or contribute was automatically dismissed because of how she looked.

Of course I didn’t want to end up like that!

Fast forward several decades and I have now come to realize that these beliefs, perhaps however well intended, ended up causing me to view the world as a dangerous, sexist place, where I would never truly be taken seriously, would have to fight for everything twice as hard as a man, would likely be taken advantage of, and treated unfairly. And why wouldn’t I believe it? Everyone told me it was so!

What a negative and suspicious lens to view the world through! I imagined boogymen who didn’t exist, barriers that weren’t there, often misread situations. In retrospect, thinking that all men were out to thwart me, or worse harm me, was a really bad space to approach life from.

So I have been working hard since realizing all this to embrace womanhood. To be ok with being born an XX. To not view it as a negative, or some kind of lifelong handicap.

And just when I think I have overcome, made peace with it all, something will happen or a situation will arise and I will realize just how deeply embedded that programming is. It still is lurking there, urging me to not be OK with who I am. Whispering that if I dare, I will pay, and that bad things will happen, opportunities will be missed.

I hope young women today aren’t being raised to reject themselves as I was, a child in the 70s and 80s. Because there’s nothing wrong with being female. With being a woman. With being feminine.

And anyone who is telling girls or women that is the actual sexist, the true woman hater, the real misogynist.

I hope that someday I can truly embrace all this to the core of my soul. In the meantime I do my best to remind myself daily and often that there’s nothing wrong with me just being me, no matter what anyone says.  I am equal, and I always have been.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

(p.s. In a similar way, men of my generation and since were raised that being a male or masculine was somehow “wrong,” too. Ironic, isn’t it? While women were being raised to be “more like boys” boys were being raised to be “more like girls.” How nutty is that?!?!?)

 

 

 

Nature is Sexist!

21 Tuesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Gender

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There is a difference between sexism and biology. And before throwing down the “sexist” claim, it’s important to understand the difference.

Sexism is basically telling people (historically women) that they cannot do X, Y, or Z because of their sex. These things were possible, but due to social constraints were not “acceptable” and so they were forbidden. That’s sexism.

However, there are certain things in life that may appear sexist at first blush, but are actually biological constraints. These are not sexist, although they may be sex-specific.

Men cannot, for example, have babies. That is not sexist, that’s biology.

Or to make examining such things less heated, it’s often helpful to extrapolate from the animal world, from nature in general, to understand the difference between sexism and biology.

Besides the seahorse and Emperor penguin and a few other token examples, for the most part, by and large, it is the female of the species who does the bulk of the work rearing the young. Now one could fight it is not “fair” till the cows come home, but it simply is what it is.

Without mothering, most offspring simply do not survive or if they do they are confused and unprepared for what lies ahead.  Sure there are examples of animals who need no mothering or fathering (sea turtles, for example), but again if that’s the way they are biologically designed that is a far cry from it being a “choice.”

In the animal kingdom, none fight this. They simply go about life doing their biological role and everything works out great.

We humans, despite being the “most intelligent” species on the planet, seem to be the only ones who want to ignore biology and define it for ourselves.

It’s at most a fool’s errand. But people still do.

Let those who have ears hear!

Can you name some examples of this either in your life or that you have seen in the lives of others? Please share in the comments!

 

When Are Things Equal?

27 Tuesday Dec 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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Lately I have been pondering — after civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights, (insert disadvantaged group here) rights…when are things equal?

After all the policies and retributions and legal changes made in the past 40+ years, are we there yet?

And when we get there, what follows? Subjugation of those who previously had privilege, or true equality where everyone takes personal responsibility and rises or falls upon their own merit?

If true equality is the goal, eventually merit, ability, personal achievement, and individual responsibility come what may (win or lose) must be the end results of the equality movement. Because if the playing field doesn’t level but only tilts, that’s not equality, that’s privilege.

I know people of all stripes who started with nothing and had every reason to fail who have made it and I know people with every advantage to start with who have failed despite that, and I have also known all degrees of people in between.

IMHO true equality does not need programs or penalties. On either side. Equal is equal, fair is fair, yes? Are we ready to embrace personal responsibility? Or will we continue to cling to victim hood, past wrongs, retaliation, and group status instead of being individually and equally responsible for our own destiny?

When are things equal? And then what? How do we move forward? Please share your views in the comments.

It Takes a Village

14 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Uncategorized

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There’s a saying that goes, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but have you ever stopped to think about who builds those villages and keeps them running?

I was pondering this the other day:

“I flip on the switch and the light works. I turn on the tap and clean water comes out. Water goes down drains and toilets and washing machines and away. I put the trash out and it disappears. I pick up the phone and police or firemen or medics come. I assume this is all a given when clearly it is not. Women don’t get that very well. That stuff doesn’t “just happen” by a long shot. How many women even understand the supply chain involved in all that happening? Few. Not enough to make it keep happening for sure.”

The first time I heard that men build civilization at a red pill blog, I freaked out and told off the blog author. (Cringe.) After reconsidering for awhile I realized that it was true: Men build civilizations and create the safe and functional conditions villages thrive under.

That means, if it were not for the supposedly “horrible and oppressive” men willing to protect and provide, the villages would not exist.

Yep. Maybe men aren’t so horrible after all? Maybe they aren’t trying to oppress women, but to help them? Maybe they could use some thanks and appreciation for their contributions? Maybe they aren’t the enemy?

Please discuss while at the same time respecting other people’s points of view. Could villages exist without men?

Reverse Sexism?

17 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Fempire

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An article recently linked to a post by a feminist on Twitter claiming all men are rapists and should be shot.

Think about that. All men should be shot? All men are rapists?

Now imagine someone saying all women are (X) and should be shot. Or all people of color? Or all gay people? Or all transgender people? Certainly there would be an outcry.

Hate speech is hate speech, no matter who is saying it. And it’s not OK.

In fact, it’s more than not OK. Anyone (including women) saying such things are a threat to a functional and orderly society.

First of all, all men ARE NOT rapists. Clearly they are not. Rape is a violent and horrific crime and to call anything less than the true definition of  that “rape” minimizes what true rape victims have experienced. This is rape. A guy looking at you in the cafeteria is not.

As one commenter raised, just who did she propose would round up and shoot all these men? Would she expect other men to do it for her? Then shoot each other at the end? Or was she imagining some posse of women rounding up and shooting all the men? Who exactly is going to commit this genocide?

Thing is why is it commonly accepted that negatively stereotyping and lumping a group of people who share one common characteristic is not OK, unless that group is men?  How is that fair and equal? But it happens all the time, and nobody says a thing about it.

The crazy just needs to stop.

I for one acknowledge the many, many good men in this world. Wonderful men. Men who work hard to keep things working. Men who collect the garbage, fix the power lines, plumb the pipes, police the streets, defend the country, and all the other invisible and visible jobs good men who deserve respect and appreciation, not death threats, do.

The thing is, men don’t HAVE to do anything for women. They don’t OWE women anything. And the more women act so blatantly unappreciative and entitled, the less men will want to do for women. I don’t think that is in anyone’s best interest, including that woman’s.

So listen up sister — shut it! And perhaps you should be charged with hate speech and encouraging hate crime and lose your job and all status in society while we are at it. Just like a man would be.

Hate speech is no more acceptable from a “minority” or “disadvantaged group” than from a majority. And how someone who supposedly is for equality and human rights could possibly believe otherwise is beyond me.

What do you think? Please share in the comments, and remember to respect other commenter’s views even if you disagree. Thanks!

 

 

Who’s to Blame for the Mess Today?

08 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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The title of a post at another red pill blog reminded me of something I have been meaning to write about for awhile, my thoughts on who is to blame for the mess we find ourselves in today. The blog post above is not about the topic I am about to discuss, but is a worthy read in its own right.

If you were to ask the question, “Who’s to blame for the mess today?” (and by mess, I mean the mess between men and women, relationships, divorce, failed relationships, people having a hard time getting or saying married, etc.) to the average Jane on the street, she’d likely say some version of “Men are!” or “The patriarchy!” or some such.

But are men really behind the backwards and upside down dating and marriage marketplace we face today?

I’d argue no. I’d say women are.

Now there may have been some Machiavellian men involved in the start of the sexual revolution, feminism, no fault divorce, the destruction of generations of social and moral norms that while not perfect worked for the most part — but largely it was women themselves, and more specifically women who came of age during the late 60s and early 70s (my mother’s generation) who I feel are truly to blame.

Perhaps it started before them, by the whisperings and urgings of the female generation before, but somewhere in all that the wheels started coming off the cart when older women started to encourage younger women to rebel against and then reject their traditional gender roles rather than to encourage them to be good, honest, chaste, and upstanding young women headed toward marriage and motherhood.

Women created the situation we find ourselves in by encouraging a “go guuuurl” style culture where young women (including myself) were taught from a very young age to reject the roles of wife and mother for as long as possible or even entirely, mistrust men, and to instead adopt the false Goddess idol of the “single independent woman” instead. At the same time these elder women worked to dismantle as many of the social norms as they could that had previously restrained women from acting upon their basest natures (hypergamy and solopism).

These women taught their youngers that red was blue and blue was green, that being a devoted wife and mother was akin to wasting one’s life and that to embrace some party girl, casual sex, be your own boss, live for yourself and the moment lifestyle was “freedom” and “progress.”

In my opinion, it was an incredibly selfish and destructive sophistic thing for these elder women to do, misleading the young down a path that would lead them to pain, confusion, disease, heartbreak, loneliness, broken families, broken lives, and an unbridled unapologetic, selfish worship of “me“, among other things.

It was especially harmful because women are greatly influenced by group thinking by our very natures. Because of this, women can easily be manipulated and mislead.

As I approach the age where I transition away from being a young (reproductive age) woman and toward the next phase, being a matriarch (post-baby making age), I feel the pull stronger and stronger to try my best to turn the tide, to counsel young women (including and especially my own daughters) against the “new ways” and back toward the tried and true path women followed before. Perhaps a more constrained path, a less exciting path, but a far more stable, safe, and solid path for them, their future children, and society as a whole. I believe this is what I am (and other women my age are) called to do in the next phase of my life — build up the next generation of women, support them, encourage them, guide them.

To those younger than me: Be a good woman. Develop your traditional skill set. Resist the urge to put yourself in the center and put your family and community there instead. Revel in your feminine nature, nurture others, be loving, kind, and true. These are your strengths and gifts as a female, as a woman.

I am not saying women should forgo education or being a productive member of society, not work. I am not advocating women accept abuse, oppression, or second class status. Don’t believe the lie that it is either this or that…. that the traditional path will only and always lead you backwards.

Forget the “new ways.” They don’t work. I have tried, I have watched others try, I have seen the results, it is a broken script, a failed social experiment. Beware! It will seem to work in your 20s and 30s but like a house of cards it collapses and reveals it was an empty shell all along. By the time that becomes obvious, and you have second thoughts, it could be too late to correct your path.

Let those who have ears hear.

What do you think? Did women let women down?

You Are Not a Victim (Sorry!)

08 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Fempire

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Ladies, you’ve probably been told you whole life that because you are a woman, you are a victim. That you’ll have to work harder, for less, and still never be taken seriously because you aren’t a MAN.

Wow, that bites. Except you know what — it’s only true if you believe that it’s true.

Yep. If you believe being a woman will lead to your being harassed, assaulted, taken advantage of, underpaid, controlled, coerced, and unappreciated chances are those beliefs will turn into a self limiting, self fulfilling prophecy. And the only person whose fault that would be is your own.

At least in the United States, there’s probably never been a better time to be a woman from an opportunity perspective. If anything, one could almost argue that today, being a woman makes it easier to do or be anything you want to be than ever before in history thanks to programs and quotas and changes in the law implemented over the past forty-some years.

So do yourself a favor and drop the victim label (yes, even you Hill@ry!*) If anything, it will only hold you back. And why on earth would you want that? Personal responsibility — seize it, sista! If it ain’t working, try looking within.

And actually, I have never understood why women seem to think being a man makes everything so easy anyway. Believe it or not, it sucks to be a man sometimes, too!

—————–

* maybe it isn’t sexism, maybe some people (including women) just don’t want YOU as POTUS.

 

 

 

What Many Women Don’t See

29 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by in Fempire

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Something I have been pondering lately is what many women don’t see.

To be fair, I didn’t see it myself until running across the manosphere. Now I can’t help but see it everywhere I go.

Men. Doing the hard work that keeps it all going. Men hustling garbage cans from the curb to the truck. Men doing construction in the wet and the cold. Men pumping sewage. Men covered in oil and grime. Men climbing electrical and telephone poles in the middle of storms. Men doing jobs even the most liberated woman doesn’t and wouldn’t even want to do.

We hear so much about male privilege but we rarely hear about this other side, how many more men do the crap jobs, the hard jobs, the ugly jobs, the gory jobs, the dangerous jobs, the boring jobs, the non-glory jobs, the jobs that keep the lights on, the roads paved, and the rats and maggots and filth of living at bay than ever hold the title of CEO.

Then there are the deadly jobs. Men running into buildings that are collapsing and on fire. Men rescuing hikers stuck on a mountain in a blizzard. Men getting dropped out of helicopters in the most dangerous places on earth.

Yes, there are  privileges associated with being a man but there has also always been this other side, the side most women don’t see. The things women don’t have to see, thanks to men.

Women don’t see their own privilege. That nobody is demanding women take these roles, that quotas be filled with an equal number of women garbage collectors, for example. Men have never asked that of women, even of women who at the same time are demanding equality.

So before you say men have it so good, so much better, open your eyes, sisters. Check your own privilege. And start noticing all the things that men do so you and I don’t have to. Are you really so sure you’d want that to change?

Let those who have ears hear.

Most Problems Are User Error

19 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by in Red Pill

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Someone* once said to me, “Most problems are caused by user error,” meaning many of the struggles in life are self-created ones.

Realizing this can be a double edged sword. On one hand it is empowering — to struggle or not in most cases becomes a choice. On the other hand, it requires taking responsibility for your life outcome, owning that you are the cause of your problem.

Try it. Make a written or mental list of your biggest problems and struggles. Then ask yourself how many of them are actually caused by your own decisions and choices, or decisions or choices you should/could be making but aren’t?

It can be both painful and liberating to realize nearly all factors in life are within our own control. That life is, like it or not, good or bad, what we have made it.

Sure, there are exceptions, times when circumstances beyond one’s control impose suffering — like being born into a dysfunctional family, getting cancer, losing everything in a fire or natural disaster, being laid off due to a downsizing, having a partner dying or walk out with no warning, being caught up in a war zone.

But even in these cases, there is still a choice involved and that choice is how you respond to factors out of your control. Constructive or destructive, how you react to tragedy is still a choice completely within your control. (Understanding this is what heroes and inspirational souls are made of.)

Luckily, true tragedy beyond control doesn’t strike often in life. Most of the time there is no outside random situation or circumstance imposing the suffering. Upon examination, we are usually creating the situation ourselves with the choices large and small we make every day. In these cases it’s as simple — and as hard — as choosing to do different.

Pity parties, blaming others, or adopting a victim stance may soothe the ego, but they only prolong the suffering.

Start doing yourself a favor, if you have been falling prey to user error forgive yourself (we’re all human), then take ownership of your life, identify the user error that’s causing you (and very likely others) suffering, and take action to change the situation from what you don’t want into what you do want.

Whatever the issue, problem, struggle, or roadblock — from weight loss, to a career funk, to relationship woes, to money problems — it’s almost always just that simple, and just that difficult. Choices. Action. Not choosing. Not taking action. A good attitude. A bad attitude.

And the good news, or the bad news, is the only person who can do it, or keep yourself from doing it, is you.

Let those who have ears hear.

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*The someone who said this, ironically, knew this because they themselves were an expert at user error.