attraction, beauty, catcalling, harassment, life, men, politics, sex, sexuality, society, women
It is interesting to me what a to-do people are making about some of the things Trump has said, while at the same time the book 50 Shades of Grey outsold Harry Potter (!) without any marketing or advertising beyond whispered word of mouth. And it was filled with lots and lots of taboo talk!
Some of the latest dialog being quoted was said about a contestant on his reality show, a former Playboy centerfold and Playmate of the Year.
While people are up in arms, I find it interesting that the woman he said these things about and to was not in the least offended by them. And she thinks highly of the man. She seems to “get it” that of course he felt that way (duh!), and she took his saying so not as an insult but as a compliment and as lighthearted teasing said jokingly. They both seemed to get it was just talk.
When I was younger, I would get very uncomfortable about men saying things about my body or my sexuality unsolicited. I get that such language, if not said jokingly, can be scary. Such things said in a different tone would in fact be crossing a line.
But I think we have gone too far, where even innocuous admiration of the female form has become weaponized. Men like looking at pretty women. It’s that simple. Even married men like looking at pretty women.
Something I learned in the manosphere is that men are looking at women all the time, way more than we realize. One man described how it’s almost automatic for him to size up every female he comes across (“She’s a 2, there’s a 7, that one is a 6, etc.”) It’s just something his mind automatically did, and other men admitted theirs did too, and that it wasn’t pervy or leering. It’s the way the male mind works. Visual. Very visual.
And maybe we should all just get over it.
For example, awhile ago my vacuum cleaner hose got a toy lodged in it. So knowing the guy who owns the local country store is handy, and needing the vacuum fixed asap, I headed over to see if he could help me out. He’s likely nearly 60, married, super nice guy, blue collar, former truck driver.
He was sitting there with my neighbor, an elderly bachelor farmer in his late 70s, and they were shooting the breeze. They were happy to help me with my dilemma and soon got the toy dislodged.
I thanked them and turned to walk back home. I heard the farmer comment about being happy to help, “in exchange for the nice view.” And yes, he meant my backside. The store owner laughed good-heartedly, in a “I was thinking it, but he actually said it out loud” kind of way.
My reaction? I added a little extra shimmy to my walk, and carried on my way, with a smile on my face, knowing they meant it as a compliment, and feeling kinda good that they noticed.
It wasn’t awkward. It wasn’t sleazy. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was life.
Now I know this pales in comparison to what Trump said to and about the contestant, but I have had men say similar things as what he said to me, too. And they said it lighthearted and joking, and I knew and they knew it was just talk. And the few times it wasn’t, I made it known I wouldn’t have it. End of.
Much ado about nothing, I say. I’d much rather see fair, balanced investigative journalistic news stories comparing the candidates views on the issues that really matter to the American people, rather than see “reporters”wasting ink on such tabloid fodder.