Tag Archives: SIW

Making Our Dreams Come True…

24 Sunday Jun 2018

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

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While listening to a vintage top 40’s radio show rerun, a song I had completely forgotten about reminded me of a Single Independent Woman (SIW) sitcom I watched often during my childhood: Laverne and Shirley.

Does this song ring a bell? (I apologize in advance if it gets stuck in your head now! Lol.)

Let’s look at the lyrics:

Making Our Dreams Come True

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated
We’re gonna do it!

Give us any chance – we’ll take it
Read us any rule – we’ll break it
We’re gonna make our dreams come true…
Doin’ it our way

Nothin’s gonna turn us back now
Straight ahead and on the track now
We’re gonna make our dreams come true…
Doin’ it our way

There is nothing we won’t try

Never heard the word impossible
This time there’s no stopping us
We’re gonna do it

On your mark, get set and go now
Got a dream and we just know now 
We’re gonna make our dream come true
And we’ll do it our way – yes our way
Make all our dreams come true
And do it our way – yes our way
Make all our dreams come true
For me and you! 

This is how Wikipedia describes the show:

“Laverne & Shirley (originally Laverne DeFazio & Shirley Feeney) is an American television sitcom that ran for eight seasons on ABC from January 27, 1976, to May 10, 1983. A spin-off of Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley followed the lives of Laverne DeFazio (Penny Marshall) and Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams), two friends and roommates who work as bottle-cappers in the fictitious Shotz Brewery in late 1950s Milwaukee, Wisconsin. From the sixth season onwards, the series’ setting changed to mid-1960s Burbank, California. Michael McKean and David Lander co-starred as their friends and neighbors Lenny and Squiggy, along with Eddie Mekka as Carmine Ragusa, Phil Foster as Laverne’s father Frank DeFazio, and Betty Garrett as the girls’ landlady Edna Babish.

Noted for its use of physical comedy, Laverne & Shirley became the most-watched American television program by its third season [emphasis mine], and was nominated for two Golden Globe Awards and a Primetime Emmy Award in 1979.”

I found myself wondering how much this show affected my impressionable young mind, and the minds of other girls of my generation?

I also wondered what a follow-up would show? What would Laverne and Shirley be up to now? How did their plan work out? What specifically was their “dream” and did it come true?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

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Attitude is Everything

20 Wednesday Jun 2018

Posted by in Relationships

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The tale of yet another relationship hitting the dust reminded me — attitude is everything.

Like many women today, this woman, who in this case had the opportunity to literally marry a millionaire, blew it all up with her attitude.

They met several years back. He was unhappily married, but was staying the course rather than divorcing. They kept in touch as friends, the attraction obviously mutual. She swore for years he was the one, her soul mate. And patiently she waited while working as a waitress, living month to month.

About two years ago his wife became ill, and then passed away. After grieving the loss he reached out to the gal, and they started a romantic relationship. It escalated rather quickly into them moving in together. He was overjoyed, ready to experience all the good and joy life had to offer. But rather than share his enthusiasm, she started picking everything apart.

She seemed to quickly forget how she had struggled before, how hard things were, what it was like to live hand to mouth, how much she worried about her future without a retirement plan of any kind. How she swore he was her soul mate, and hoped someday they could be together.

When I would talk to her after they moved in together, and she would complain about the loss of freedom, the lack of time to herself, all the “things” she had given up, I knew it was not going to work. And the thing was, he wasn’t asking her to give anything up, she was the one creating this odd self-sacrificing, self-limiting situation. Rather than see she was herself creating the lack, she stubbornly blamed it all on him.

Rather than appreciate the good, she focused on the bad. I never heard her voice gratitude for her sudden increase in her standard of living. Here she was living in a beautiful luxury home right on the river, seemingly not a care in the world, with a man who wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives together, and to be happy. Instead from her it was complain, complain, complain. And not just in private, she would do it right in front of him!

Today I heard the news I knew back then was coming — he finally had enough. She’s now once again living in a rented apartment, with little in the bank, and no plan for the future. Now mind you, this woman is past retirement age! I am just not sure what on earth she is thinking!

Instead of a life of leisure, travel, fun times, and no worry she choose — willful independence.  Except she’s not able to be independent, truly. And the chance to build that is also quickly coming to a close.

Perhaps that reality has not sunk in yet. I wonder if in time she will regret her behavior?  For now, she insists she’s happier on her own. I can’t tell if it’s the single independent woman brainwashing talking, denial, or actually the case. No matter, the ship has sailed. I guess independence is going to have to work. It’s the only offer on the table.

I do know one thing, I for one will not be very interested in hearing her tales of woe once all this sinks in. And perhaps that’s really the problem — wanting whatever it is one doesn’t have, until they do, and then they want something else? Seems like a really poor life strategy. But unfortunately it’s one I see all too often.

Seeing the glass or half full or half empty actually is a choice, even if one doesn’t recognize it. Attitude can determine success or failure — which one are you choosing?

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

The Power of Gentle

05 Tuesday Jun 2018

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

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Something modern culture seems to have lost sight of is how masculine and feminine power can be quite different.

Like much about being feminine, feminine forms of power were branded as weak and inferior by those advocating women act more like men, “in order to be taken seriously.” Thus feminine forms of power were largely cast aside as outdated.

Today its more common to see women opting for masculine power techniques, even priding themselves on being ballsy, brash, and outspoken. However, these masculine forms of power don’t sit well on a woman.

It may be counterintuitive, but for a woman there is far more power in being gentle.

Maybe you know such a woman? She isn’t loud but yet people listen. She isn’t demanding but is given respect. She isn’t pushy but gets far.

Gentleness is so powerful for a woman for exactly the same reasons strength is so powerful for a man. It is the essence of femininity just as strength is the essence of masculinity. Yin and yang.

Perhaps it’s projection at play here? Women might be confusing what they see as strength in men as what men would see as strength in women? But the reality is, they don’t. Just like women don’t see feminine forms of power as strength in a man, despite the common modern sensitive guy trope. It’s repellant vs. attractive.

If you want to be more effective in your efforts, try a gentle approach. You might be surprised how much further it gets you than a more forceful “masculine” method.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Marriage Minded

15 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by in Relationships

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Ladies, are you marriage minded? As in, your goal of dating is to find a suitable mate and to marry, or if you are already married to be so for life?

Sometime in the 1970’s the social contract on marriage changed. It went from something that everyone involved expected to be for the long haul to something people expected to do, “until we don’t feel it” or “As long as we’re happy.” People admit to walking down the aisle knowing they can divorce if things don’t “work out.” In essence, marriage has been reduced to little more than going steady, another stop in the serial monogamy journey. This is not being marriage minded!

At the same time young women were urged to put off marriage into her 30’s. The advice is likely based on knowing young women in their late teens to early 30’s have youth and beauty on her side. If she’s married, some argued, she might “miss out” on maximizing on those assets. In reality, pairing up is much like the game of musical chairs. Over time there are fewer options left, until there are no options at all except a few broken chairs. Many women who followed this advice found sure enough, finding a man interested in marriage in the 30’s is not as easy as it would have been younger. Such women often regret not being marriage minded younger.

And finally, if one is going to marry, she should have her head on straight first about what marriage is really about. It’s about building a life, a partnership, raising a family,  leaving a legacy — not something that is based on feelz and being “in love” and “always happy” and “fulfilled” and all the rest. Not that marriage can’t have those things, but they are not the rock to build it on. Understand marriage is a long game, and not every day of it will be fun, fulfilling, and exciting. Lots of it will just be regular, uneventful, maybe even boring. Get that regular, uneventful, and maybe even boring is GOOD because that means things are going ok, there is no crisis, and that’s something to be thankful for!

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

False Idols

17 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

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One of the women my mom held up as an example of all a woman could do and be was Gloria Vanderbilt. My mom admired her New York social scene, her career as a fashion designer, her success and acclaim.

I really didn’t know much about her myself, except that she released a line of blue jeans that was fairly successful, and designed clothing. I had always assumed she started her company and built her success from the ground up.

Well, last night during some random insomnia web surfing, I came across the full story. Gloria Vanderbilt was actually born into immense wealth, the granddaughter of a railroad baron, the child of her father who rather than be a titan himself had lived a playboy lifestyle and drank himself to death by his early 40s, leaving his barely 19-year-old bride and 18 month old daughter behind.

Gloria was raised by her mother until the age of 10 when she was the subject of a bitter custody battle between her aunt and mother. While her mother traveled the world living off the interest of Gloria’s trust fund ($5 million at the time, which made little Gloria along with her older half sister one of the richest women in the world at age 21), Gloria was apparently largely raised by a nanny who had concerns about the child’s environment.  Allegations of neglect and immoral behavior on her mother’s part, combined with testimony by young Gloria herself, ended up with her being placed in the custody of her aunt, her father sister.

From there she attended exclusive schools and was raised in a family that owned multiple homes on Fifth Avenue in New York, including one that took up an entire New York city block.

Now I don’t mean to take away from what Gloria did with her life, or to imply she did not have her own crosses to bear — including the early loss of her father, the early years with(out) her mother, multiple failed marriages, one son who disowned her, and a son who killed himself in his 20s — but for her to be painted as a role model for what the average gal could achieve with moxie and hard work was, to say the least, disingenuious.

It makes me wonder what the background of many of the other early “successful career women” is. Were they also women who started with means and status far above the usual? I will have to look into it as time allows.

In any case, beware false idols. Things are not always what they are portrayed to be.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

SIW Meltdown

16 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by in Red Pill, Relationships

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For the past few weeks, among other things, I have had a front row seat at a SIW (single independent woman) meltdown of epic proportions. For my friend, age 43, the red pill realities of the wall, the SIW fallacy, and more are all coalescing at a fast and furious pace.

Ever since moving out on her own she’s “done it on her own.” She married briefly in her 30s, no kids, but fought the yoke hard and decided she was better off on her own than, “stuck with some man.”

After that she held various office jobs, and met her current beau there. Unlike her former husband, an artistic sigma, this executive level, successful, attractive divorced (frivorce, brutally) father of six had all the markings of “a good provider.”

They have dated for several years now but as far as I can see he’s firmly MTGOW (even if he doesn’t know the term) and seems quite happy with their seperate houses, “I’ll see ya when I see ya,” lifestyle.

About two years ago she tired of the drudgery of going to her dead end office job day after day, so she threw caution to the wind, quit, and made do with a conglomeration of jewelry making, pet sitting, and house cleaning gigs. But it wasn’t enough to live the same lifestyle as before, so she supplemented that with credit card debt, figuring it would, “all turn around someday.” Perhaps the day her beau proposed. But he didn’t.

Now, she’s exceptionally good looking, with a darling figure and perky rack. So things have mostly gone her way in life. But for what she has in the looks department she lacks in the emotional control category.

As the weeks and months went on, she became less and less emotionally stable. She often picks fights with her boyfriend, demanding he “Step up or else,” which is followed by a period of him ghosting and her begging him back.

As you may have guessed, things have come to a head and she’s been forced by financial circumstances to move out of her apartment. When no offer from her beau came, I hesitatingly offered her a room at my place in exchange for housecleaning and landscaping, while she “gets back on her feet.”

For the past two weeks she’s drug her feet as moving day approached, fighting tooth and nail daily with her beau who was helping her out financially, tying up loose ends, and trying to help her pack.

He confessed to me he didn’t know how much more he could take, and that he didn’t understand her behavior.

“It’s simple,” I said. “She wants to move in with you, not me.” But he said it simply wasn’t possible.

Yesterday was her last day at the apartment. They spent nearly 24 hours doing what she could have done over the past few weeks. And at 2 a.m. she was texting that she, “just needed a few more hours.”

He says the fighting has been intense, and they have yet to arrive here the following morning.  I am sure she’s doing all she can to try to force his hand in the direction she wants things to go, but she’s kidding herself.

He told me not to tell her but he’s leaving on a guys trip this evening for the next two weeks. I guess I will be doing my best to help her pick up the pieces. Based on how she’s acted the past few days, I’d be surprised if he comes back.

Many SIW think in youth that they can decide when and where they will finally settle down with the Mr. Big of their dreams, only to find life isn’t a movie script. Nobody owes anyone anything anymore under the new social rules. And other people get to make their own choices, too.

Yes, women today have the freedom to make their own choices. But they should remember, choices have consequences, and nothing in life is all upside. Play your hand poorly or well, but you’ll live with the results either way you choose. Just like guys have always “been free” to do.

She’s got 40 years or so to go, no savings, no kin, no skills that someone younger won’t do for less, and a guy who can’t wait to be rid of her. That’s going to be a tough hand to play. I’ll be doing my best to red pill her a spoonful a day, because getting her head on straight and quickly is about the only chance she’s got, as far as I can see.

Let those with ears hear.